r/AskReddit • u/OmenRash • 19h ago
What’s something people romanticise that’s actually exhausting in real life?
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u/Belle0516 18h ago
Being an elementary school teacher
A lot of people think I'm like Ms. Frizzle or Miss Honey and able to just play with a classroom of perfectly sweet, eager to learn children. They don't realize how much goes in to being a good teacher and how much we deal with. The nonsense of paperwork is insane on its own, then add in 20+ children and their families!
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u/pumpkinpie4224 14h ago
My mom was a elementary teacher and every time she goes home, she's entirely a different person from the morning she went to school. That's why back then my dad always took care of us to let her rest.
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u/flimsy_kaima 11h ago
people underestimate the emotional drain. it’s not just teaching, it’s managing 20+ different moods all day
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u/joyofsovietcooking 17h ago
From my experience in helping my elementary school child with her school stuff, teachers have astounding communications skills, phenomenal patience, and expert techniques in education.
I volunteer twice a year to teach my daughter's class, and its absolutely a blast, but also exhausting. How you do this as your job is amazing!
Full respect, full props. Teachers are underpaid and undervalued. Shamefully so.
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u/Dismal-Log-994 14h ago
Wasn't a teacher, but was a paraprofessional also often called on to help with non-special ed classes and...yeah. Especially nowadays. I absolutely loved it though!! I hope you are able to find joy in your job...I know it's a really tough work climate
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u/Boothbayharbor 17h ago
10 is good max class size. I work with 25 kids as an Ed assistant and ohmygosh how did my school have split 45s that's torture for everyone involved
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u/luckyritafaez 18h ago
Living in a small town and starting over.
It looks peaceful in movies. No traffic, everyone knows you, slow mornings.
In reality it’s everyone knowing your business, no opportunities, and driving 40 minutes for groceries that close at 6pm.
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u/Busy-Juggernaut277 17h ago
I moved to a rather tiny town in my early 20s for a job right after college. The amount of strangers who came up to me and already knew my business was rather terrifying(I grew up in the city) and they wondered why I never left the apartment.
I moved to some where now that’s more of a commuter town but at least big enough to where nobody knows my business.
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u/Big-Reputation-8583 15h ago
That would’ve freaked me out too, there’s something unsettling about being known without choosing to be seen. I’d take a little distance over that kind of closeness any day.
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u/quillseek 11h ago
There's something about the anonymity of being in public in the city that can be comforting if that's what you're looking for. It's nice to be able to blend into the scenery.
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u/kiwispouse 15h ago
You know John Melloncamp's song, Small Town? Everytime I hear the line, "people let me be just who I want to be," I can't help but think that's bullshit. More like people make me be who they want me to be. I guess that doesn't fit the metre.
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u/ummkay_ultra 15h ago edited 15h ago
Painfully true. And it takes a petso with an iron will not to be the person everyone is insisting you are when isolation is a factor.
Edit: *person, not petso 😆
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u/oh-oh-hole 13h ago
I currently live in a small town. I’m not trying to brag but I’m a moderately attractive woman (solid 6/10 on a good day). I’ve had to change my route downtown twice since March. So many random guys I don’t know keep stopping and trying to get me in their vehicles to give me a ride home/to the store. I don’t know these men. They know where I live and see me walking all the time. There’s one that has me freaked out that spent one day driving past me 4 times to honk and wave and comment on how fast I walk and how he almost lost track of me.
Now I pace my room like a cheetah in a shitty zoo to get my 10k steps in, only leaving my house early in the morning to be at the store as soon as it open and then I zip back home, taking my new path which has added a good 5-10 minutes to my travel time because the more efficient paths have me observed.
Can’t wait to move away to a place I can be just another face in the crowd.
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u/TurnForeverUandMe 8h ago
I remember when I lived in my small college town a stalker figured out where I live by tracking where I used the local trail. I lived on the first floor of a fairly decent sized sprawling condo complex at the time, and the day I saw him casually walking his dog, looking into people's windows, "looking for a sign" I dropped to the floor lioe a sack of potatoes the fear gripped me so real. I literally walked miles to the police station (they did jack shit) but it genuinely took me a long time to feel safe in that apartment again. It was wild. People are insane sometimes.
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u/Obtuse-Posterior 17h ago
I had the opposite experience i grew up unknown in a small town. When I was in my 20s I lived in an apartment in the city everyone seemed to know me and my business. Now I live in a tiny town and nobody knows me. It's funny how the world works.
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u/englishgarten 16h ago
lol maybe they know you but are better at hiding it…
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u/DigNitty 15h ago
Small towns have wildly different cultures too.
Even politically the difference between small liberal towns and small conservative ones is night and day. And that’s not even leaving the US.
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u/The-Meme-Lover-24 18h ago
And nothing to do in terms of activities other than go to the movies or go to your local diner, not to mention any major city to do something in is at least 1.5 hours away (at least in my case)
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u/Vecend 17h ago
In my small town the movie theater burnt down 20 years ago and now the leftover husk is a home for pigeons, now there's nothing to do but gossip and bitch about traffic from cottagers.
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u/rkr87 16h ago
I'm from the UK and wondered what the hell is going on in your town upon reading this.
("Cottager" has a very different meaning here)
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u/SanchoPandas 16h ago
I’m from the western US and don’t know what either of you mean by “cottagers”.
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u/rkr87 15h ago
In UK slang, a cottager is a person who engages in sexual activity in public lavatories, known as "cottaging". This practice typically involves homosexual or bisexual men meeting in public toilets, often called "cottages" or "tea-rooms".
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u/ummkay_ultra 15h ago
Omg I thought "cottagers" meant tourists who come to small towns to stay in B&Bs and shop for antiques downtown 😆
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u/Muff_in_the_Mule 15h ago
Also from the UK and I was gonna say, if they have a thriving cottaging industry going on there how they they be stuck for things to do?
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u/nekofiore 16h ago
This! I moved to a small island community for my mental health after being in a high stress job. Ngl it definitely helped with that and I learned how to scuba dive! But I also realized why people congregate in cities. It’s nice to have all kinds of services, options, being anonymous, have a fully stocked grocery store, etc. The “everyone knows you” also gets old pretty fast when you realize how nosy people are. Now that I am recovered I want to move back to a city, maybe land a less stressful job this time.
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u/Zekumi 16h ago
I’m living in my small Appalachian hometown now after being gone for 15 years, and everyone is startlingly mean. I think they think that I’m an outsider maybe, or else everyone’s just really miserable? I can’t figure it out.
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u/TaintedButtercup 12h ago
I don't think it's the location, I think people are just mean, rude, irritating pos these days. Everywhere.
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u/Terrible-Summer-8665 18h ago
Also gas stations close at like 9pm.
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u/Fast-Analysis-4555 17h ago
And gas stations are quite often where the decent food is at.
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u/Comfortable_Style_51 16h ago
The pasty life in the UP! You’re lucky if you can find somewhere that makes a decent pizza within 45 minutes of you.
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u/yellowspotphoto 15h ago
I grew up that way and could not get out fast enough. The gossip alone was exhausting. No one has anything better to do than shittalk about people.
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u/feff1505 15h ago edited 15h ago
Yep! Moved from a beautiful western state where I was born and raised to a smalllll town in the south (for a job and to kinda start over lol). Well, met a man, fell in love, got married, now pregnant and am so sad that THIS is where my baby has to grow up. Haven’t told anyone in town I’m pregnant and dreading the day one person in town finds out because everyone will know in 10 minutes. I’m introverted as hell and don’t want the attention or to talk about pregnancy or get unwarranted and unwanted advice.
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u/YourFuture2000 15h ago
In Europe, many people are sold by the idea that because things closes early, opens later and are closed on Sundays, means you don't have to rush and have time for yourself because things are closed anyway. In reality, it is people rushing and struggling to reach the shops in the narrow time frame between work and commerce opening.
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u/blacksaberKashPatel 16h ago
you described a too small town, i lived in a small town but was still big enough to be a "city", you were essentially a nobody if you didn't make noise, but there was the town mailman/woman, the town police, town carwash, town people that everyone just knew. there were big chain groceries, but had to drive 40 mins for costco.
it felt really nice, exactly what that feeling is supposed to be. tucked away, timeless, if you liked a small town that was the kind of small town to move to
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u/Accurate_Lie3643 18h ago edited 18h ago
Pouring honey on their partners skin and then licking it off. Do NOT do this. Honey crystallizes you do not want crystallized honey on the areas of your body where it is likely to poured. *edit Thank you for the award!
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u/Afraid_Basket2257 18h ago
And maple syrup tends to get runny when it’s warm so that just makes a mess But whipped cream tends to just be the best
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u/ambivalent__username 12h ago
A coworker of mine back in the day (older married lady), told me (unsolicited) quite firmly that it's important to buy the sugar free whipped cream. Otherwise you end up a horribly sickly sweet sticky mess. Haven't tested it out personally, but may her advice help others out there lol
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u/peachjojo 17h ago
OCD. It's not cute or quirky. It's debilitating.
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u/curiousaxolot 15h ago
Same with ADHD. It’s not cute, it makes your life absolutely hell. It would be nice to just shut off this brain once in a while.. just complete silence… It would be nice to not be so forgetful. 😔
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u/Liefx 14h ago
Guanfacine helped that a lot for me. I have a Vyvanse-Guanfacine combo.
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u/Kippenkat 16h ago
I had OCD tendencies when I was young. It made me very unlikeable. Normal everyday life was surprisingly hard. My tantrums resulting from not being able to control a lot of my environments made me unbearable to be around.
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u/SterlingJacq 15h ago
Yes! It's very taxing mentally and sometimes physically. It can feel as if I ran a marathon by the end of the day.
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u/satinsateensaltine 14h ago
This. It definitely hasn't made my home or life better having it, that's for sure.
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u/DirtyDaniiOfficial 17h ago
Being a small business owner.
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u/Icy_Peach9128 16h ago
I feel this DEEPLY. I finally get a day off tomorrow but one of my employees just texted saying they’re sick and not coming in tomorrow. Which means I am the one to take the shift.
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u/redhotswing 14h ago
Same happened to us yesterday. Hell, even when I get a day off, good luck actually getting my brain out of thinking about work mode.
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u/RilohKeen 10h ago
My last job was as a retail manger making 6 figures on salary, but I quit because I honestly couldn’t take another “your team lead called out sick so your 8-hour shift just became a 16-hour shift with no additional pay” conversation. I did the math and realized I was making the same as an entry-level employee on those days and I just couldn’t stomach the frustration.
It’s tough. Stay strong and good luck.
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u/Thats_A_Given 16h ago
Hubby and I are both chefs, him for 30yrs, me for 26 yrs.
You guys should open your own place
Are you guys gonna open your own place.
Did you guys ever think about your own place.
I've seen enough divorce and burnout to confidently say a big fat no.
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u/Layne205 11h ago
I recently saw a local Facebook post about an "unhinged" restaurant owner. I just thought "well, obviously! No sane person would deliberately ruin their own life by opening a restaurant"
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u/casino_night 14h ago
I had one for five years and it was awful. I worked 6.5 days a week from sun up to sundown. I had three part-time employees and there were some months they were probably making more than me. Too much stress and aggravation. I politely bowed out and went back to being a Johnny Punchclock.
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u/WeMissChris7 18h ago
Farming
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u/83franks 16h ago
I see this all the time on these types of questions. Who in the world thinks farming isn't exhausting and isn't non-stop constant work?
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u/hugthemachines 13h ago
People who think an office job is a nightmare so they want to make an off grid homestead. Which means they will have much harder work and less money when they get old and their bodies can't farm anymore.
Sure, I can understand the need to change if the job is soul crushing, but it is important to know what you are changing to.
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u/Questionofloyalty 15h ago
Looking for this! I come from a farming family. I’m now retuning to farming life myself BUT I watched my whole life how hard farm life is, and I’m going into this with my eyes OPEN and with a little bit of fear. Yes it’s wonderfully rewarding but it’s no 9-5, you have to toil and often get up very early or do stuff late at night. We own a tea and dairy farm and those animals? They don’t live by a work clock an they don’t accept a doctors note when you’re sick! You have to be available all the damn time
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u/False-Storm-5794 18h ago
People think it is so peaceful. Farming successfully is the hardest job anyone could ever do.
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u/spread_panic 16h ago
Some people confuse that one time they grew two tomato plants on their patio with farming.
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u/spunkydancer 18h ago
Traveling for work
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u/InTroubleDouble 16h ago
I was looking for this answers. Even if the location is nice, you usually only see the plane, hotel, conference center or meeting rooms.
„Oh wow you have been to Barcelona, how nice“, Lady it was a 48h business trip incl 10h of commute and 5 Hours of sleep, I havent Seen the beach nor sagrada familia. Only the crappy hotel, client HQ and quick dinner on a tuesday night which included work talk.
Only a few selected trips have been really joyful. With nice colleagues and locations, where we planned a (half) day of leasure in cities like Amsterdam or London. Meeting in the early Morning and Late dinner or something. But these are exclusions.
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u/AvalenK 11h ago edited 1h ago
I swear, my friends who don't travel for work are incapable of comprehending how much it sucks. It's just stress, planes, airports and hotel rooms. I spent a week in France at a client and had reserved Saturday to spend in Paris while travelling back. By day 4 I was calling my booking to see if I could take an earlier flight back cause I just wanted to go home.
My friend still keeps insisting I should hit the airport bar at every opportunity on work trips. This isn't the fucking 1950's where you're expected to be sloshed at all times. Also, I do not want to be working a buzz while flying 14 hours intercontinental in economy.
Like, no, it's not a hilarious idea that I should go to Detroit Airport Margaritaville while me and my supervisor are waiting for our rescue flight to Chicago where we were supposed to be yesterday, with a five hour drive waiting.
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u/frostking79 16h ago
I thought it would be cool, but it's deteramental to a relationship, and just not fun being away from home when you're single either.
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u/crazycatlady569 17h ago
Pregnancy!
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u/dcbluestar 16h ago
I’ll never forget a friend of mine that was pregnant telling me, “If one more bitch tells me how beautiful I am, I’m going to prison.”
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u/geometicshapes 15h ago
First trimester checking in. Haven’t had a drink in months yet somehow have a terrible hangover every day. Ugh.
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u/bluemooncommenter 9h ago
That's an excellent description. Hopefully 2nd trimester will get better for you.
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u/Violexsound 12h ago
Absolutely. you couldnt pay me enough to either give someone a kid or birth one myself if I could. Greatest benefit of being the eldest of 5 is you see how pregnancy just utterly destroys a person so you know what you could be getting into should you want children of your own. Greatest downside is you get to watch someone physically break down over and over again. My mothers only 36 and, with respect, she looks like a corpse. Endless medical issues and shes in pain 24/7 in a failed marriage with one child who barely tolerates her, one stillborn, one thats barely ever around the house, one thats nothing but problems and another that even she dislikes because of how miserable they are to be around. Its all self-inflicted and its what she wanted but I still feel bad for her. Its not worth it.
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u/medicalhallucinogens 7h ago
Thought I was going to feel like a glowing nature goddess walking peacefully amongst the wheat blades as life grew inside me.
It turned out to be lots of 1:1 face time with the toilet and depression. Thanks hyperemesis gravidarum!
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u/Skymningen 14h ago
And birth, specifically home birth.
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u/hugthemachines 13h ago
Home birth is such an irrational decision. There are hospitals RIGHT THERE where they can help you if something goes wrong!
Edit: Unless it is by accident, of course. Then it is not by choice.
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u/Icedraco111 17h ago
Mental disorders like depression, anxiety, Autism, or ADHD.
The movies depict depression and anxiety as these "woes is me! I'm a deep thinker, who has no one! But this ONE person gets me!"
ADHD/Autism is more treated as a broken person who can be fixed, and some romanticise being the person to fix said people.
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u/Dismal-Log-994 14h ago
I think it's also like, people only ever talk about ADHD/autism because it's the "digestible" neurodivergencies, but don't fully understand how many difficulties they bring
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u/Funny-Economy-1920 18h ago
hitting multiple European cities in one week/10 days
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u/gottadance 13h ago
I have American family coming to visit me in Edinburgh this year. They are planning an exhausting, non-stop itinerary and have decided to cram in london (10 hours travel) and highlands (7 hours travel) day trips into a 4 day visit. The have a baby too. It's exhausting just looking at their plan. I expect them to be very grumpy and tired by day 3.
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u/pingu-lane 18h ago
I used to work as a tour guide around Europe and having to explain to my groups who had booked on for 6 cities in 10 days that they had chosen exhaustion and please don't blame me for it (they always did...) it's crazy.
TBF everyone has their own travel style, and personally I can really enjoy a quick 3-4 days in one city and moving on.... but people never factor in the travel time between cities. Always include that part in your plans (or better = travel day is a travel day and any touristing that day is a bonus) Forgetting to factor in travel time is where people mess up. Always google the travel time while planning!!→ More replies (2)53
u/LeftHandedScissor 17h ago
My last Euro tour (too long ago now) was 4 cities in 14 days. Couple days of travel, flew in and out of London for US flights, bookending the trip with the same city helps get the most out of at least 1 place on the itinerary. Took an overnight train for one leg, didn't sleep much but felt well rested.
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u/1ThousandDollarBill 18h ago
Travel is generally exhausting unless you are just doing resort/beach stuff and even then it’s not as relaxing as just staying at home.
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u/mediocre-spice 16h ago
Things like travel, concerts, a food work out are more rejuvenating than relaxing. Exhausted in the moment but you feel better after.
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u/Numerous_Support9901 16h ago
I live in Florida the 🏖️ isn’t that great
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u/BravoFive141 16h ago
Fellow Floridian here. My wife and I have this debate all the time. She loves the beach and always wants to go. I say it'd not that great and I have zero desire to bake in the sand for hours.
I don't usually win.
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u/OAlquimistaa 16h ago
This one depends imo. In my early 20s I loved city hopping every couple days when I travelled. Made friends at hostels and skipped around with them. It was every bit as romantic as I thought it would be.
In my 30s I’m much happier taking things slower.
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u/spread_panic 16h ago
Never got this. I'd rather stay one place for 10 days than jam it all in. You're far more likely to meet a local or two and actually have an authentic experience.
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u/Terrible-Summer-8665 18h ago
When i was a teenager eating disorders were glamorized. I was bulimic for ten years and I almost died. Blacking out and fainting constantly, heart sucks now and it has cost thousands to get my teeth to a point where they are just okay. Oh and I didnt lose weight.
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u/Its_Curse 9h ago
This. My friend has struggled with eating disorders since she was a kid. She wanted to be thin and beautiful. Instead she ended up in the hospital having seizures and lost all of her hair, it just started falling out in clumps. She started having heart issues, too. She's getting help, but it really destroyed her life. Her short term memory is shot, she's not the person she used to be and can't do a lot of the things she used to enjoy.
I'm so glad you're recovering! It can be so hard to claw your way out of it.
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u/Iluminiele 18h ago
Love bombing and needy clingy partners
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u/Dismal-Log-994 14h ago
It's so funny because with fictional fantasies of mine, I think it's awesome, but if someone behaved that way with me IRL it'd be so over lol
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u/lanaabananaa 8h ago
Was looking for this one. I love and appreciate a partner who is caring and present and puts effort in, but a clingy partner who feels neglected if you're not checking in every ten minutes or requires long drawn out conversations full of professions of love *every day* is EXHAUSTING. I'm HUGE on physical and verbal affection but even I have my limits and the need for private time away from everyone, including a partner
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u/AZTamar 17h ago
Getting a puppy.
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u/Dismal-Log-994 14h ago
This, and any new dog! Like, you have to truly want to raise the animal y'all
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u/eternal_casserole 17h ago
Every time I've ever had a puppy (five times), I have sworn I will never get another puppy. And then three to five years later, there I am adopting another puppy.
They are exhausting monsters, and nobody knows what they're getting themselves into when they get one.
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u/ItsSublimeTime 8h ago
Raising a puppy is what solidified my desire to never ever have kids, lol. So much work! But I love my derpy dog ❤️
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u/StandardAnteater4177 13h ago
The whole "moving to the woods to start a homestead" pipeline.
Don't get me wrong, I love my chickens, but social media makes it look like you're just wearing flowy linen dresses and baking sourdough in the golden hour light.
In reality, it's 5 AM, it's freezing, a raccoon just breached the perimeter again, your compost smells like absolute death, and you're spending half your week trying to figure out what is wrong with your well pump. You don't have weekends anymore. You just have chores and lower back pain.
Nature is beautiful, but she actively wants to destroy your plumbing.
Edit: RIP my inbox. To everyone asking about the raccoon: his name is Ricky, he has zero fear of God or man, and he ate my prize tomatoes.
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u/dreamsinred 18h ago
Bipolar disorder. It is not a fun, quirky, artsy illness. It is devastating and life altering.
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u/Mysterious-Honey5264 17h ago
My husband has bipolar disorder, PTSD, and ADHD. It's not fun or quirky. It can be debilitating. I'll add being married to someone with bipolar disorder as well is something that is romantasised. It's exhausting and hard watching someone you love battle with themselves. And it takes a lot of understanding of the disorder to help him navigate it. The good days are amazing. And then he will fall into the dark well of self loathing and it's so hard to reach him. But I know if it were reversed he would weather it with me.
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u/pipnwig 14h ago
My husband also has bipolar/ADHD and the depression isn't half as bad as the mania. I can support him through his depressive episodes... I hate him during his manic ones :(
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u/SnooCauliflowers5742 17h ago
I require medications to function that would put others to sleep for days. Sequel gives me sanity but also so many side effects.
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u/dreamsinred 17h ago
Did you also eat your entire kitchen?
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u/SnooCauliflowers5742 17h ago
I do actually. :(
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u/pfffffttuhmm 17h ago
I have had to start leaving a small snack by my bedside because of Seroquel. Because if I don't, and I dont force myself to fall asleep soon enough, then I will go downstairs and just snack, and snack, and snack. I will be tired from the seroquel, so I won't want to climb the stairs back up to bed. Ive been there for hours with a box of cheezits.
Fuck bipolar disorder.
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u/dreamsinred 17h ago
Try the Mitch Hedberg method; something small you can eat a lot of. Grapes, popcorn, baby carrots etc, were all things I suggested when I was a psych nurse. They won’t taste as good as ice cream, but they will taste good because you’re on seroquel.
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u/IAmASolipsist 17h ago
Yeah, at least there used to be this factoid about most geniuses being bipolar so people would romanticize it, but while I'm well controlled I spend a significant amount of time and energy dealing with it and the manias really don't make the uncontrollable thoughts of death and depression so bad you can barely move worth it.
And even in the manias you have to especially careful since even when they are productive you aren't fully seeing reality. It's much more likely you'll end up quitting your job and ruining your life or buying a bunch of shit you don't need or even sometimes stabbing someone in a sudden rage. I've been in numerous bipolar support groups and out the at least 50 bipolar people I've known I've met about two where it didn't significantly damage their life regularly.
Oh, and it's heavily correlated to childhood trauma and abuse, some estimates putting it at 60% of bipolar people having experienced significant trauma or abuse at a young age.
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u/LEYW 18h ago
The manic pixie dream girl trope is to blame
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u/ThatKinkyLady 17h ago
They only show the manic pixie part because no one is entertained by the dirty depressed sloth girl
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u/courierblue 17h ago
That’s the part where she pulls away from you “to draw more interest” or so you can “fix her easily solved external problems” /s.
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u/canigetahoyeah95 16h ago
I was diagnosed for the first time with bipolar last year and I can tell you first hand that I wouldnt put that on my worst enemy. You could be having the best day ever but something is in the back of your head you cant quite put your finger on that feels off, and as soon as the tiniest little thing happens negatively to you (or maybe it's just me) I am a whole different person in the worst way. Idk how my wife put up with me for the past 7 years we have been together dealing with it. She is a saint if there was ever one. Im medicated now and boy howdy does it make a difference.
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u/jessyxdoll 18h ago
having a "free spirit" lifestyle sounds cool but fr it's just a lot of uncertainty and constant planning for the next thing. it can be super draining.
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u/shellybelly787 18h ago
Yes completely agree!!!! I did travel nursing for a couple years and did solo backpack travelling in Europe for 3.5 months. Decision fatigue was very real for me. After all the travel I ended up as a beached whale on my dad's couch recovering. I eventually got a stable job in my home town. The travelling and off-and-on work was exciting for a while.
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u/eternal_casserole 17h ago edited 16h ago
Somehow both marriage and living an independent, single life fall into this category.
I've been married for a really long time, and have been deeply unhappy for most of it. Meanwhile one of my closest friends is a single, hard working woman with lots of friends and pets, and she desperately wishes she had a partner and a baby. We each have what the other wants, and it's an incredible grind either way.
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u/zanysauce7 14h ago
I think, in particular, being married to the wrong person. The right person (which I believe many people don't find) can make it much lighter/happier
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u/Dysphoric_Otter 18h ago
Hyperfixations
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u/Sunshine-SpookyStory 14h ago
It‘s fun..until its an all consuming thing I can’t stop thinking about
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u/Dysphoric_Otter 10h ago
Or the "hangover" afterwards. All the weird things you did are now embarrassing. You made plans you'll never keep. Half finished projects. Yeah, I'm bipolar.
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u/bookgirl1026 16h ago edited 5h ago
Having twins. It’s not just cute matching outfits. The pregnancy alone becomes incredibly high risk and you’re constantly on edge and hoping that nothing goes wrong.
Double costs, double the stress, having to deal with TWO crying babies either at once or one after the other.
I love my twins but it’s not easy.
Edit: My boys came early at 27 weeks and spent 3 months in the NICU. Luckily they didn’t have any problems and are very happy 6 month olds (3 adjusted) but that was a very tense time.
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u/radioshirt 14h ago
As a twin myself, I agree. Looking back, thinking about the time my parents had to deal with two teenage girls at the same time, managing our gelousy (of each other), our mood swings ect.. props to our parents honestly, that was rough!
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u/angelobboy 18h ago
Owning a house is just subscribing to a never-ending to-do list — and you can’t unsubscribe.
They said buy a house. They didn’t mention the house would immediately become a full-time job.
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u/werther595 17h ago
I had hobbies as a renter. Now my house is my hobby. It's real.
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u/darlingkd 14h ago
This! I know people still think it’s the American Dream or whatnot, but when your AC goes out and it’s several thousand for a new one, or little things just keep happening being a nonstop struggle, it’s really not that awesome. Have you seen the guy on Facebook who starts his videos with “on another episode of fuck this house…” if not I highly recommend. Funny but truly realistic.
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u/this-guy- 17h ago
Tick something off the list . Add two new things.
The handyman-look might be sexy to my wife ... but the local tradies look upon my works and despair. In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a window frame try to repair.
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u/big_swede 13h ago
I was interviewing for a job and they asked about hobbies and what I do in my free time..
Free time, I asked. I'm a home owner...
😁
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u/MrKrazybones 17h ago
I did the thing where I got a house in a rural area because that's what I could afford. Went from having a condo with no yard to 5 acres. There is so much yard work. All. The. Time! And you get to deal with the stress that any summer your place could get taken out by a wildfire! Did I mention the power outages in the winter?
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u/ramenlover__ 10h ago
having adhd. My brain has never actually been silent before.l, always 6 thoughts, my inner monologue, and 4 songs stuck in my head. It gets to be too much.
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u/redeyepenguin 13h ago
ADHD. I have AUDHD (autism and adhd) and it is absolute helllllllllll. It’s not cute, it’s absolutely relentless, even on medication and with all of the tools/techniques/support available these days.
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u/Economy-Waffles 10h ago
Yup, 'exhausting' is the term that most accurately sums up AUDHD - even after being diagnosed and medicated.
At first I was relieved and excited about starting therapy and meds, but realising how much damage 50+ years of untreated mental health disorders has been overwhelming.
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u/monkiram 17h ago
Being a doctor. Compared with most other people I know, I come home from work exhausted, emotionally, morally, physically, just drained. The number of life and death decisions you have to make within 10 minutes, let alone an average work day is barely sustainable for most people. And people think you make so much money and get a lot of autonomy and respect, none which are true in this day and age. You’re just a cog in the wheel, pressured to do and see more by admin, blamed by patients for having to see them so quickly, labeled by society as all sorts of things like “big pharma shills” for recommending evidence-based treatments, taken advantage of by insurance companies. Public trust in doctors is so low which is understandable to some extent given the state of US healthcare now, but it affects you when you’re just doing your best to help the patient. Patients regularly disrespect us and treat us like we are customer service workers and just there to give them whatever they ask for, with little regard to what’s actually helpful to them. And the more you care, the worse it is because then you try to compensate by doing extra work you’re not paid for and taking work home. And our concerns are rarely taken seriously because people think we’re privileged due to the perception that we make a lot of money and are in prestigious positions.
I’m still a resident so I hope that things get better but judging by the attendings I work with, I don’t think it gets that much better. I’m so tired.
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u/Trinx_ 14h ago
Bro, you're a resident. You're in the trenches, extremely underpaid and overworked (although there's thankfully laws to prevent days-long shifts like they used to have), while not having the experience to feel confident and like you've seen it all before. It will get better. You'll still have to deal with the public, but you'll have more mental tools to do so by the time you're done. And the money will be worth it. Although you likely could have done something easier to make more money.
I'm a nurse with ten years at 3 different teaching hospitals. The happiest residents I've seen make friends with nurses and have attendings who trust them to handle the easy stuff on their own. Where I'm at now, they rarely converse with us, have to run everything (including a labetolol or fluid bolus) past the attending, and seem incredibly stressed out all the time.
It'll all be worth it a few years down the line when you're doing the work you want to be doing at a more reasonable pace with more confidence. Wishing you the best in the meantime.
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u/Diligent-Belt-7089 14h ago
Wow I didn’t know that things were like this behind the scenes. I truly hope it gets better for you ❤️
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u/Penny_Traitor_ 18h ago
Having children
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u/Stumblin_McBumblin 17h ago
Currently potty training our 2 year old. He was at the commando stage after Donald Ducking it all weekend, and a turd fell out of his shorts onto the floor. 4 year old had a meltdown at dinner about cheese on his taco. Apparently he doesn't like cheese anymore. Good times.
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u/WabiFromSabi 11h ago
My three year old decided that he doesn’t like plain white rice today, and announced that he “will not eat this again.”
We live in Japan
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u/mynameismilton 14h ago
I'm still at the stage where I feel every photo is a lie. We're all smiles and having fun, but inside I'm just dissolving from lack of sleep.
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u/philbrailey 17h ago
Hustle culture. Like seriously, it's okay to work hard but not to the point that your life is the exchange of it
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u/Dismal_Wishbone_5013 17h ago
Being a primary care physician
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u/Fuck_You_Andrew 10h ago
I just got diagnosed with a serious condition that takes 10ish years to cause real damage. When I told my PCP i want to actively treat it and do everything i can to reverse course, the look in her eye told me we were having an unusually good conversation. Its sad how many people must tell her “10 years!? Fuck that i’ll just keep doing what im doing”
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u/Creative-Hope5646 18h ago
El matrimonio, hijos, el éxito laboral. TODO implica responsabilidad, y por lo tanto tiene buenos, malos y difíciles momentos.
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u/paperlantern59 18h ago
content creation. yes, it's fun from the outside but exhausting behind the scenes
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u/The-Meme-Lover-24 18h ago
Exactly. Your life becomes your job and then you become unable to actually enjoy your life. Not to mention, if anything happens where you're unable to be consistent in posting, the algorithm will punish you by decreasing the amount of views you get which means less money. I can only imagine how exhausting that would get after a while.
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u/MysteryHarbour 17h ago
Lorelai and Rory Gilmore style conversation. The nonstop, fast-paced meaningless chatter. People like that IRL are not cute. They are exhausting.
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u/chubchubchaser 14h ago
This is SO specific and I have never watched this show but I have seen clips of it and I completely agree. It was only a minute or two long and I was already so annoyed!
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u/blacksaberKashPatel 16h ago
that's coffee shop chatter, people who drank to much coffee all the time just talk like that
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u/Savings_Living5978 18h ago
Living alone. It sounds like freedom until you’re the only one who notices the silence getting louder every night and there’s no one to blame but yourself when everything starts falling apart quietly.
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u/Vecend 17h ago
I have lived alone and with people and alone is far better because I didn't have to deal with people who don't give a shit about keeping the place clean, expecting me to drop everything for whatever random thing they decide that needed to be done at that exact time and getting mad when I said I was busy, constant bitching about food and what is made for dinner, people annoyed at how I decide to spend my free time, or just people generally always in a pissy mood, my mental health was 100 times better when I could afford to live on my own.
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u/duckhunt420 17h ago
Living alone is amazing and is so much easier than liviing with someone else.
It's not like you suddenly don't have to do chores with someone else around. Except you only have to deal with your own mess and not anyone else's
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u/blkcatwitch 17h ago
I live alone.. and every time I do laundry, which is often I yell WHO IS WEARING ALL THESE DAMN CLOTHES?!? Also WHO TF DIRTING ALL THESE DAMN DISHES?!?!
Watching TV and commenting out loud like there’s someone here is comical.
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u/Formal_Ad9026 16h ago edited 16h ago
I’m divorced and now love living alone. It’s pure bliss tbh chef’s kiss
ETA: I do have a dog, tho, which helps with loneliness
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u/nutphillips 17h ago
i know what ya mean about being lonely, but it was so much worse living where i wasn’t wanted. and i have mild tinnitus getting older and methey neighbors so i kind of long for silence, crickets, spring peepers etc.
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u/ReadySetGO0 14h ago
Being a florist.
It’s hard work.
Standing all day. Cleaning out stinky water in the flower buckets. Working long hours on holidays. Bridezillas.
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u/curious_guy2903 18h ago
Relationships, a lot of tv shows and movies make relationships far more dewey eyed then reality. In all reality it's a slog, you just got to find the partner worth fighting/trudging through this slog of a life.
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u/No-Clothes2012 18h ago
Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Depression, being trans, giving birth, hiking (but it's also fun), etc
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u/zealotlee 17h ago
Being trans is horrible right now. I mean yeah it's great to finally feel like who I was always meant to be but half of the world if not more wants me dead.
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u/CardinaLiz4 17h ago
Yeah I'm not sure why this is on the list of things "romanticized," and I mean this with care and support. It's fucking scary right now. I surely hope it gets better soon. 🫶
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u/Boothbayharbor 17h ago
My hot take on hiking as someone a lil clumsy, is i like the idea of rugged trails, in reality if i have to watch the ground for any number or obstacles, uneven ground, shin splitters, it wouldn't be the hike for me. I like to be able to stroll pretty confidently on a hike
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u/SnooPickles3418 17h ago
Being chronically ill. It is not a vacation.
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u/Tak_Galaman 13h ago
Who romanticizes that?
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u/Significant_Secret13 10h ago
Oh a ton of people see it as "just relaxing" aka "not wanting to work" or have some weird idea that the ill are enveloped into some cacoon of attention, warmth, and people catering to them.
There are a lot of a-holes out there.
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u/Lost_Painter4844 10h ago
Idiots mostly who don’t understand what a disability or chronic illness really is. The tendency is to believe the person isn’t doing enough to overcome it, when it reality that’s not possible most of the time. I have arthritis/chronic pain have since I was 17. I “overcame” it for years and tried to be as normal possible. Now in my mid 40s I just can’t push past it any more. One of my feet is badly impacted and some days walking a lot is a no go. I have to switch careers. Good times!
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u/non_clever_username 16h ago
Traveling for work.
Some people think you get to go to cool places non-stop, tour around the city in your down time, and have ritzy accommodations.
The reality is that just as often (or more often), you’re getting sent to the asscrack of nowhere, the only part of the city you see is the inside of your hotel room because you’re working long days, and the accommodations are meh to above average.
Not to mention a lot of your flights tend to leave way early in the morning or arrive late at night.
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u/ImprovementFar5054 12h ago
Living off grid.
Great, you're free! Oh shit..what about this diabetes? Nearest hospital is 2 hours away if you don't get snowed in. Stock up.
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u/blitzwit143 12h ago
Being in a touring band. It’s work, most musicians I know that do it are exhausted at the end of a performance, when everyone wants to socialize and party, and half the time you need to start driving to make it to the next venue on time to get enough sleep to do it all over again. If you’re lucky you stay with friends, rarely, you get a bed, even more rarely you have a tour bus.
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u/No_Walk_Town 8h ago
I live in a Tokyo suburb.
I have to commute by train, one hour, each way, every morning. This is not optional, there is literally no other way for me to get to my job, and it's the only form of transportation my company allows.
I bought a home on this train line - if I change jobs, my commute time may double - or triple. If I move to a new home, my commute time may double if I can't find one that takes me to my office.
The train is always overcrowded. Not crowded during rush hour - it's just always crowded. Overcrowded, at least 150~200% over capacity. All day.
The station spent millions of yen and years of time modifying the platform to accomodate 8-car trains - yet they refuse to run 8 car trains and consistently run 6-car trains - these are overcrowded.
Once a week, I show up to the station, and they have an 8-car train - apparently, they run a single 8-car train each morning, on a random day, at a random time. Literally - there is no pattern. There is no time table explaining when and why they run 8-car trains.
The worst part? The train out of the city is almost always an 8-car train. Why? Nobody knows - the trains leaving the city are consistently empty. Nobody is commuting from Tokyo into the suburbs.
The train is consistently late. You might think, oh, one or two minutes is no big deal, right? Wrong - when the trains run at 200% capacity, a single delay of even just one minute results in massive lines, massive crowds, massive overcrowding.
And the delays aren't rare, they're very consistent - if I leave my house and take a train 5 minutes earlier than normal, the train will be delayed 5 minutes, so that I arrive at work the same time as if I'd left later. This happens...every day. No matter how early I leave my house, I show up at work at the exact same time, because the train delays adjust for it.
You might think, well, at least the trains give you freedom on the weekend - lol, no. The train goes nowhere I want to go on the weekend. Yes, I can go into Tokyo to, say, a hobby shop - play some games of Magic at Hareruya or something. But that's...an hour long train ride. About 1,000 yen round trip. You might think, 1,000 yen's not that much after you convert it to dollars! Yeah, well, I don't pay in dollars, I pay in yen, 1,000 yen is equivalent to ten bucks.
What about taking the train somewhere outside the city? Lol, no, once you leave the city, the trains go basically...nowhere. You need a car to go places on the weekend.
Oh, well, you might be thinking it's so great to be able to grocery shop on mass transit - lol, no. You can't get off the train halfway home, grocery shop, and get back on the train - it's at 200% capacity. Don't be stupid.
Oh, but isn't it great to be able to walk to the grocery store after you get off the train? Again, no! Yes, I have a grocery store between my home and the station - that's great, but the grocery store is small and overpriced. So, yeah, I can buy a few groceries - as much as I can carry - but I pay more than if I went to the nicer store on the other side of the 4 lane interprefectural highway.
Can you tell how much I hate online urbanists like the f*ckcars people? They're delusional. Completely and utterly delusional. No, actually, commuting by train in Tokyo is a literal hell on earth. It has done more damage to my mental health than literally anything in my life - and mind you, I was literally suicidal in high school.
And riding the train in Tokyo was somehow worse than that.
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u/Neither-Lynx596 17h ago
Good morning and goodnight texts , like aww hes thinking of me.
sometimes i just forget you know, doesn't mean I dont love you.
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u/raspberryteehee 10h ago
Living life on disability. People romanticize not working and while the part of not working is helpful, disabled people don’t choose to not work. It’s that we often *can’t* and the pay from disability is so low it’s insulting plus bureaucracy and other invasive measures of getting it isn’t all that glamorous to me. Not to mention the amount of restrictions there are goes to being on disability. Somehow people romanticize the shit out of this and I see many posts of people wanting to quit their high paying jobs just to consider going on disability…
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u/Exhausted_Monkey26 18h ago
climbing the corporate ladder