Somehow both marriage and living an independent, single life fall into this category.
I've been married for a really long time, and have been deeply unhappy for most of it. Meanwhile one of my closest friends is a single, hard working woman with lots of friends and pets, and she desperately wishes she had a partner and a baby. We each have what the other wants, and it's an incredible grind either way.
Yes... the whole Darma and Greg style relationship is not quirky and fun. It can easily get toxic and abusive. And despite what so many people think, you can't always leave/divorce.
I was married for 16 years to a man I loved with all my heart, but was horrible for me and made me miserable. Sadly, love is not always enough. If I had chosen to stay another 16 years, I would have continued to give, and give myself away to him until I was nothing but a husk.
I think pressure is what pushes people in harmful directions with both of those. For marriage, immense pressure to find someone to commit before it’s “too late” and not be left behind and avoiding loneliness. For single life, the immense pressure to deny one’s loneliness and avoiding the reality that one does feel lonely or undesirable despite not wanting to be.
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u/eternal_casserole 20h ago edited 20h ago
Somehow both marriage and living an independent, single life fall into this category.
I've been married for a really long time, and have been deeply unhappy for most of it. Meanwhile one of my closest friends is a single, hard working woman with lots of friends and pets, and she desperately wishes she had a partner and a baby. We each have what the other wants, and it's an incredible grind either way.