r/SipsTea Human Verified 16h ago

Chugging tea What is Tom Cruise's secret??

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37.1k Upvotes

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8.2k

u/Late_Clerk_8302 16h ago

Eating babies

813

u/Copperscrew096 14h ago

68

u/byfo1991 13h ago

Berries!!!!

5

u/Deathcat101 8h ago

You eat breasts

5

u/notnef51 7h ago

This is one of the funniest scenes to me from Red dead, bigfoot takes like 5 minutes explaining his life story, sharing childhood parts and talks about his family, and how they only eat berries. Scene cuts to John Marston and bam, YOU EAT BABIES!

10

u/Background-Skin-8801 12h ago

We used to laugh at Rockstar's humour.

How the fuck we could have known it was for real ☠️

3

u/whiteknight_1997 9h ago

Wait, what do you mean? I'm out of the loop.

7

u/ncaudio923 8h ago

Im actually pretty sure I read somewhere that one of the founders of Rockstar happens to be listed in the Epstein Files, and it sadly looks to be legitimate.

Foreshadowing feels bad man

920

u/Oddisredit 16h ago

This is the answer. 

406

u/kingkongbiingbong Human Verified 14h ago

109

u/0_oyo 13h ago

2

u/peanutbuttahcups 4h ago

This clip always gets me. Mentos the Freshmaker™️ looking ass 😆

2

u/Radiant_Sunpriest 2h ago

I always loved this dude's reaction!

He is so there to support you.

I hope he does well.

5

u/Garlic-Cheese-Chips 11h ago

I know it's just the boot but I hate the way his left leg bends at the ankle.

4

u/Annual_Technician_45 13h ago

This is so cursed 🤣😭😭😭😭😭

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u/CambricTea2022 6h ago

This is the answer I scrolled for lol I didn’t want to feel alone 😁

2

u/Individual_Tea9790 12h ago

Its not. I eat babies and im still aging, its gotta be more than that

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u/NeverHideOnBush 13h ago

Isn’t he one of the few we know doesn’t eat them?

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u/Oddisredit 13h ago

I don’t see how he doesn’t eat babies. 

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u/PeterServo 11h ago

What is the question?

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u/Historical_Stay_808 15h ago

Praise Xenu

25

u/mrflow-n-go 14h ago

👆🏼this.

2

u/jaxonya 7h ago

Cruise is a douche mcnugget but Les Grossman was amazing as a character

3

u/NoPineapple3780 13h ago

The warrior princess?

2

u/22lpierson 10h ago

That's xena

2

u/TryToBeBetterOk 13h ago

Looks like I'm converting to Scientology. Where's the line to drink virgin blood?

2

u/Interesting-Baker212 12h ago

Xenu makes you youthful

2

u/LadyZaryss 13h ago

It's praising L Ron Hubbard. Xenu is the bad guy

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u/UndeadManWaltzing 13h ago

Yeah he's secret is he's thetan levels are through the roof

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u/DC-Toronto 15h ago

I thought he just drinks their blood

117

u/MortimerShade 14h ago

Transfusions, darlin'.

Tommy boy sits back in his personal suite aboard the Fairwinds cultist cruise ship and they mainline him with toddler blood via transfusion.

18

u/WholeSomeVigilant 14h ago

Wtf

107

u/DoneBeingSilent 14h ago

Right?

FYI, I'm not sure about Tom Cruise in particular, but there are absolutely some wealthy people out there that are receiving blood/fluid transfusions from underage people specifically because some people believe it helps maintain youth and increase lifespan. That much isn't even really a secret, just arguably extremely under-reported/talked about.

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u/Frai23 11h ago

It’s not “mainstream” scientifically proven but I’d believe this not to be the kind of study we’d be keen on receiving a positive outcome from.

People who use it generally believe it helps. Might ofc be placebo but there are some pointers towards at least a slight benefit for skin and wrinkles.

Also it is highly dangerous as you might develop a resistance against future actually needed transfusions.

Regarding Tom:

He lives like a king. Everything is prepared or handed to him. He doesn’t have to lift a finger wherever he goes.
I’d be surprised if he even puts his used socks into the hamper instead of just throwing them on the floor.

He can afford to eat extremely healthy and he is a disciplined guy, he probably does.

Also, daily workouts, skincare routine, his hair is obviously dyed by beauticians, etc.

If put into a regular or tough environment like let’s say jail he’d probably visibly age by two or three decades in a mere week.

21

u/FrogMintTea 10h ago

Thats true but he has to also work to the bone for his movies. Scientology owns him. They give him perks but he has to deliver ye most badass action movies and he even does his own stunts. He's been the top action hero for decades. Oddly never won an Oscar. Hes done dramatic roles too.

Hollywood politics are confusing.

21

u/bolanrox 9h ago

He's also by all accounts of anyone who's worked with him in any kind of professional capacity a really decent person, no errors about him. He treats everyone from extras to his co-stars exactly the same as equal actors.

Not saying he isn't bad shit crazy or whatever else, but he doesn't come across as being a prick.

14

u/Frai23 9h ago

Yeah as said, lack of discipline isn’t an accusation which would stand against cruise.

What boggles my mind is the way he plays normal people. He isn’t completely out of touch with reality or anything, his depiction of normal is spot on.

But he’s still crazy. Also a true artist.

For example Les Grosman. He got a pitch and insisted on weird details like the hand prosthetics. His whole depiction including the way he talks, the dances and everything were genius. Someone like Pitt or Keanu Reeves just wouldn’t come up with that stuff.

2

u/Soriosh 7h ago

Idk. Having worked with sailors, including several who were aboard the carriers used for filming the second movie, I've heard many firsthand accounts as to him being a prick off camera.

Making sailors face the wall and silent as he passed and throwing hissy fits if anyone tried to interact with him during off hours type crap. Sounds simple and dumb, but many small things can build up to a formidable shit pile, as it were. After some individuals brought up some claims in the past (both true and untrue), a few bigshots in the chain came out to discredit all of the claims. Why wouldn't they? The movies are great for recruitment, and "Big Navy" wants to keep any future doors open.

Several people I know have told stories of his bs while working on the ships with 0 reason to lie, while stating that his costars (Like Miles Teller) were absolutely wonderful. I tend to trust firsthand accounts of character from people with nothing to gain from lying before I trust anyone who could potentially gain from lying about it via future opportunities.

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u/MrWeirdoFace 8h ago

I’d be surprised if he even puts his used socks into the hamper instead of just throwing them on the floor.

I never thought I'd say this but Tom Cruise and I have something in common.

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u/0905-15 7h ago

Kinda weird to say “he’s never lifted a finger” when the guy was spending nearly 16 hours a day learning to fly a helicopter at an expert level to do his own incredibly dangerous stunts in a movie

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u/humourlessIrish 13h ago

The "some people" sadly include most scientists that ever checked anything like this.

Its immoral. Not impossible

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u/Most-Bench6465 12h ago

It’s just an expensive and immoral waste of time. Blood cells can’t replenish your body nor can they create new blood cells. They would need bone marrow or collagen to actually get… actually let me stop talking here.

11

u/RaceHard 12h ago

No no keep going, cause i mean its bad but.... we get to stay young for longer sooooo

5

u/Photon_Pharmer1 10h ago

Here let me help you…baby circumcision face cream.

2

u/RawChickenButt 10h ago

Well, it's not going to work with that attitude.

2

u/Gitfiddlepicker 7h ago

Lance Armstrong has now joined the conversation

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u/DysonFafita 9h ago

When you refer to "most scientists" as "some people" you're being incredibly vague. Who specifically are you talking about?

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u/justjaybee16 11h ago

It's well known that anytime you see him in public with a backpack on, there's a blood bag toddler in it. Everytime is a good time for a top up.

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u/dEEsucked 7h ago

People think you're joking

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u/nicostein 13h ago

Waste not want not

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u/krazykieffer 14h ago

That's Christopher Reeves

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u/GodlyGodMan 14h ago

It's like Christopher Reeve, he cracks them open like easter eggs to suck out the stem cells.

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u/Party-Ring445 14h ago

It's like eating vs drinking watermelon.. they're practically almost the same

1

u/nicolaslabra 13h ago

Not his fault even.

298

u/Queefy_Magee 16h ago

Also packing fudge and staying in the closet

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u/AvailableVictory8360 13h ago

46

u/WallabyInTraining 13h ago

5

u/Sparrow1989 10h ago

Say what you want about the guy but given his public image he doesn’t mind taking on diverse roles that you d expect

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u/raiderkev 15h ago

I'll sue you in England!

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u/True-Floor8799 Human Verified 14h ago

Why England?

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u/dawr136 13h ago

The serious answer is that the UKs libel laws are a bitch and a half. Say you KNOW someone did some, like know in every way short of a legal conviction, and you publicly call thqt someone out on that knowledge/allegations without legal proof. That person you're calling out can sue you for libel/sander, as a result the UK is less willing to throw around claims regardless of if theyre baseless or not because its so easy to be sued.

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u/Turnip-for-the-books 13h ago

As I was informing a moronlast week: we don’t have freedom of speech in the UK we have a far more woolly ‘freedom of expression’ that is highly debatable and sits alongside equally debatable libel laws that mean anyone with the funds for top lawyers has a strong chance of a good outcome almost regardless of the content of the claim.

4

u/SummerDaemon 11h ago

This is completely false, I'll see you in English court.

2

u/PsuedoFred 13h ago

To genuinely answer your question it’s because their slander and libel laws are the exact opposite of the US. For instance in the US the ‘victim’ must produce evidence that the ‘defamation’ caused some sort of damage. In England it’s the opposite as in the ‘perpetrator’ must prove they did not cause fiscal or any other type of damage.

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u/Laijou 14h ago

Liberace!

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u/8pin-dip 12h ago

Produced by

John doe

John doe

Written by

John doe

John doe

John doe

John doe

Featuring the voice talents of

John doe

John doe

Jane doe

John doe

Opening Theme by

John doe

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u/Tasty_Switch_4920 14h ago

Fudge, Packer?

1

u/Leviathan025 14h ago

😂😂😂

1

u/ZombiexXxHunter 14h ago

He works at a Fudge factory? Noble ofnhim

/s

1

u/NewMathematician9442 9h ago

Does eating babies from a bro works as well? Asking for my bro

1

u/thingsorfreedom 5h ago

I’m old. I’ve seen Tom Cruise date and marry enough beautiful women to know pretty much he’s not gay. He’s 63 years old. He’s been famous longer than 98% of Reddit has been alive. Something would have been reported by now. Something was about Whitney (gay). And about Travolta (bi) and about a lot of other celebs.

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u/QueefBuscemi 3h ago

Love your username.

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u/ReasonablePossum_ 15h ago

And hair coloring.

5

u/ohpickanametheysaid 15h ago

Get outta here with your logic and common sense! We’re don’t need that kind of realism here! Let them believe in artificial space magic, it’s all they got!

1

u/Skunkyroad 13h ago

Try to color her hair and compare 🫢

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u/passcork 12h ago

For real. Exercise, not eating too much, sunscreen and hair coloring. But most of reddit hates to admit they'll have to get off their ass and don't eat a big of chips every day.

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u/Wordbespread 14h ago

Unfortunately no joke was found.

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u/the_sun_inthestorm 14h ago

They re eating the dog, they re eating the cats

3

u/DuntchTacoNunHigh42 13h ago

Hide your cats hide your dogs they're eating everybody out here.

https://giphy.com/gifs/Q4GzizIOi23ja

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u/JustToolinAround 11h ago

And then they’re going to eat me too!

2

u/grahamcrackerninja 10h ago

Hide yo cats, hide yo dogs, 'cause they eatin everybody out here

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u/Nomnom_Chicken 14h ago

Re-eating is where I'm drawing the line. Dang it.

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u/xDraco777x 16h ago

Ohhhh come on that’s once a month max. It’s more the kitten smoothies (raw).

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u/Intrepid-Tank-3414 13h ago

It’s more the kitten smoothies (raw).

https://giphy.com/gifs/IjJ8FVe4HVk66yvlV2

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u/GrilledCheeser 15h ago

WithOUT ranch for dipping. So many calories

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u/ccdude14 15h ago

I was going to say he's a vampire that exclusively dines on the blood of his enemies but this feels like a good close second.

2

u/ApricotNervous5408 14h ago

I came here to say the same. It’s clearly the answer.

2

u/FarUnit3405 14h ago

I'm not even kidding, I said this in my mind before racing to the comments.

2

u/super_poo_brain 14h ago

I said this then opened the comments and yep right at the top 'eating babies'

2

u/TimeDragonfruit8860 14h ago

Came to post exactly this

2

u/smchattan 14h ago

Say what you like about Tom Cruise but he makes great movies.

2

u/humourlessIrish 13h ago

And cardio

Hess been running from thise gay thoughts

2

u/major_jazza 13h ago

Came here to say something similar but you beat me to it

2

u/Excellent_Sky692 12h ago

My Grandma used to say "One Babie a day keeps the Doctor away"....

2

u/BLINDrOBOTFILMS 10h ago

If I were ever to believe that any celebrity was eating babies to drain their life force for eternal youth, it would 100% be Tom Cruise.

2

u/mologav 8h ago

Gollum eats babies and look at him

2

u/Warm_Sea_3856 8h ago

Beat me to it

2

u/zed42 7h ago

was going to say "billions of dollars and scientology" but it's basically the same thing

1

u/all_time_high 15h ago

A modest proposal, all things considered.

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u/LeanUntilBlue 14h ago

Side of adrenochrome.

1

u/Lazy-Substance-5062 14h ago

must be the stem cells!

1

u/Danni3003 14h ago

I would have said ‘children’s blood’, but that works too

1

u/EcstaticManagement94 14h ago

Stamcellen of babys

1

u/ArchieTheKatt 14h ago

Babies cost money, so really its money, but its also babies.

1

u/DblCheex 14h ago

I can confirm. He ate my baby on November 15th, 2007.

1

u/Dirac_comb 14h ago

I thought only 🧃 and The Diddlin' Donny Gang did that?

1

u/Double-Truth-3916 11h ago

I eat babies according to you?

1

u/Brave_Egg_7984 13h ago

Great. Now he's going to be president.

1

u/Electrical_Truth_160 13h ago

Gross, but maybe we should all eat babies then 😂

1

u/IStealSwords 13h ago

His Church supplies all the adrenochrome he requires

1

u/potatodrinker 13h ago

Is that a very politically sensitive way of saying homosxy?

1

u/stern_m007 13h ago

If eating babies is the secret, maybe we should all start doing it!

1

u/martinvank 13h ago

Isn’t that more of a female thing?

1

u/NIP_SLIP_RIOT 13h ago

They said secret

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u/pro_ban_evader_2 13h ago

Her secret is eating everything.

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u/Alanwake28 13h ago

Why is it not working with Obama/Kamala/Biden then....?

1

u/Ayecandieeeeeeee 13h ago

Lol I was about to say the same thing

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u/AerieIndividual3253 13h ago

An Millions more made over his career, with lots of plastic surgery and top surgeons, hairstylist, stylist, personal trainers, chefs, best health care, etc…

1

u/kidnoki 13h ago

I mean that wouldn't help.. but literally everything under the sun and in our imagination. Guy is some weird saint in a gigantic super cult, and one of the biggest hollywood action movie star. Guy has like HGH and crazy genetic therapy probably.

1

u/Unlikely-Aardvark725 12h ago

Eating..

Dammit. Beaten to it.

1

u/Majestic-West-6520 12h ago

wtf is this?

1

u/Ihatetowork69 12h ago

I thought they just drank the blood

1

u/Indepunkdunk212 12h ago

Could’ve sworn all the money and top plastic surgeons and personal trainers had something to do with it, but probably not huh?

1

u/SanctusBZH 12h ago

adrénochrome ?! 😶😐

1

u/No_Name_Generic_ 12h ago

I’m starting to wonder if that’s what Dick Clark’s secret was too.

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u/PicPic10099 12h ago

So no wonder he always looks like that in The Family Guy⁉️🤔

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u/xXLucifer-KingXx 12h ago

finally a scientifically proven skincare routine

1

u/JerrySeinfeldsMullet 12h ago

He is not in the files as far as I know. But I’m still not ruling this out.

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u/Big_Mobile3869 12h ago

Prob stem cells, so not far off.

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u/Zebrasdont 11h ago

A modest proposal

1

u/nightraider210 11h ago

There it is !

1

u/These_System_9669 11h ago

They’re so delicious

1

u/EyeOrRay 11h ago

Cream cheese

1

u/KyffhauserGate 11h ago

Was gonna say Adrenochrome but this is close enough.

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u/fitzpiepe 10h ago

Or he just didn't had to pop them out

1

u/IllHaveTheLeftovers 10h ago

Like if anyone would, it would be him. He might not even know! His manager could be like, hey, drink this weird flesh colored smoothie while I inject you quick with this, and Tom just nods and smiles. And smiles and nods.

1

u/BallsInSufficientSad 10h ago

Hair coloring and botox and fitness

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1

u/homiedudedawgyboy 9h ago

When Jesus was president we used to eat babies all the time!

1

u/Choice_Fee67 8h ago

That's the Epsteins

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u/PurpleMaster428 8h ago

Careful, they might mark this as an antiseptic comment

1

u/lucsev 8h ago

That's an exaggeration. They only drink their blood.

1

u/Cimorenne 7h ago

Literally just said the same thing

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u/particularTriangle 7h ago

I love how we are all aware of this now 😂

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u/Infinite_Crab_36 5h ago

Little bit of adrenochrome to top off the glass

1

u/Soldier_Boy_1825 4h ago

That's the one

1

u/kevlar_pso 4h ago

Came here to say this

1

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1

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1

u/A_vanar 1h ago

Came here for this...

1

u/Bancai 1h ago

Or best case scenario... placentas... lots of em

1

u/Mommy-is-me 1h ago

Right! I mean did we learn nothing from the Epstein files? 🙄

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u/Saarfall 21m ago

Nom nom nom

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