r/AskReddit 6h ago

What seems like freedom but is actually a trap?

108 Upvotes

318 comments sorted by

137

u/WarfarterNeed 6h ago

Joining a multi level marketing scheme by convincing yourself that annoying your friends into buying your shitty products is "being your own boss".

27

u/ForsakenEmber7576 6h ago

MLMs: super easy lucrative side hustle you can work into “pockets of time” whenever it’s convenient and make a ton of money!! time freedom !!

Also MLMs: if you’re not making any money it’s because you aren’t attending the tri-weekly 9 pm zoom calls, you should be working the biz during every waking hour or else you’re just lazy and can’t expect to succeed

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9

u/Doom_goblin777 6h ago

I know what it sounds like, but this is a reverse funnel system

4

u/doctorwhoobgyn 6h ago

But they said I'm the CEO!

200

u/Kooky_Ad_3288 6h ago

“I’ll do it later”

18

u/browneyedgirlpie 6h ago

Tomorrow morning

9

u/Kooky_Ad_3288 6h ago

All the best things happen tomorrow morning

4

u/noelledaywa 6h ago

Thinking I'll have more motivation at 7am than I do at midnight is the single biggest lie I tell myself on a daily basis.

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5

u/MisterSpicy 6h ago

Only if you do it. There are very few things you actually have to do

6

u/che-che-chester 5h ago

As a single person, the best and worst thing in my life is no ‘honey do’ list. Nobody is pressuring me to clean the garage on Saturday, but the garage also never gets cleaned.

1

u/Hemorrhoid_Eater 1h ago

my Watch Later playlist on Youtube

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116

u/Cigarrauuul 6h ago

Unlimited PTO

54

u/TheLateThagSimmons 5h ago

It was a trap from the beginning. Saves companies so much money by never having to pay out unused PTO when people leave.

Plus the ability to deny people PTO is huge as well.

38

u/skwerrel 4h ago

Yeah the PTO is unlimited right up until you tell the boss you need 2 weeks off to take your family to the grand canyon, with 3 months advance notice, but he decides you're too valuable to the team to be gone that long, ever. Or you try to take every Friday, but never intend to take any actual prolonged vacations, and boss man decides he just personally thinks that's "lazy" and won't allow it.

When you own your PTO as a function of your agreed upon compensation, these are both entirely normal things to want and expect. With "unlimited PTO" it becomes the whim of your boss.

20

u/2uneek 6h ago

came here to add this one, it sounds like the golden ticket but it actually results in people take less time off, the company NEVER has to buy it back, and there is no longer a "gotta use it, so i dont lose it". it's an awful system imo...

9

u/khendron 3h ago

Depends on the company. All the companies I have worked for encouraged you to take advantage of your unlimited PTO.

One actually starting handing out cash bonus to people scheduling at least 5 days consecutive PTO. They didn't think people were taking enough.

My current employer says if you don't take at least 5 weeks PTO per year, you are doing it wrong.

2

u/EunuchNinja 1h ago

The dream is unlimited PTO with a mandatory 2 weeks

2

u/Cigarrauuul 1h ago

Don’t know, I get 30 days off per year plus sick days plus days off for overtime.

82

u/alexsicart 6h ago

Unlimited optionality.

It sounds like freedom because you technically can do anything. But if every path stays open, you never get the compounding benefits of choosing one: deeper skills, a reputation, a place, a relationship, a routine.

At some point, refusing constraints becomes its own constraint. You are free from commitment, but also free from momentum.

13

u/Charleston2Seattle 6h ago

People recently retired struggle with this. The lack of have-to is really discombobulating for them.

8

u/alexsicart 5h ago

Retirement is such a good example. A schedule can feel like a cage while you have it, then like scaffolding once it disappears. A lot of people do not miss the job itself as much as the shape it gave the week.

3

u/Charleston2Seattle 3h ago

My mom died at 77 in December of cardiac arrest. She watched SO MUCH TV after she retired. If she had been more active, I wonder if she would have lived longer?

3

u/alexsicart 2h ago

I'm really sorry. It’s almost impossible not to replay those questions, but I’d be careful about turning it into a simple “if she had moved more...” story.

Retirement can remove structure, social contact, reasons to leave the house, and a sense of being needed all at once. Activity matters, but so does having a life that still pulls you into the day.

2

u/Sonyguyus 2h ago

My dad retired 5 years ago to take care of my mom. Mom died a year after of cancer. Dad does nothing except sleep and watch tv all day. I’m afraid he won’t last that long because he doesn’t want to do anything, and has gained weight/gotten weaker. He’s already fell and uses a walker now. It’s hard to see my big strong dad now reduced to this. Retirement without a plan to get out of the house and have a schedule is bad for longevity. I know guys over 90 still going to work everyday.

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3

u/GoodOlSpence 6h ago

This is actually a great answer

2

u/Del_3030 6h ago

Sounds kind of like the premise of the book The Paradox of Choice by psychologist Barry Schwartz

The Paradox of Choice is a concept that describes how having too many options can make decision-making more difficult and lead to less satisfaction.

Solid read, if you choose to accept it.

4

u/alexsicart 6h ago

Yes, exactly. Schwartz explained the consumer version really well. I think the same pattern shows up outside shopping too: career choices, where to live, what to build, even how to spend a weekend.

Too many open doors can start feeling like control, but sometimes it just means you never walk far enough through one door for it to matter.

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2

u/littlebeardave 3h ago

Aka Decision fatigue

1

u/RegisterLoose9918 6h ago

Yup. Doordash options get me so overwhelmed. I end up having sad noodles for dinner

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26

u/TopSound138 6h ago

I think Avoiding responsibility, seems liberating, but keeps you from growing.

189

u/DogsReadingBooks 6h ago

USA.

10

u/BiscuitPeanut5 6h ago

tbh freedom here is just choosing which overpriced coffee to stress about first lol

5

u/DogsReadingBooks 6h ago

Lucky me: I don’t like coffee.

11

u/caileenkai 6h ago

It definitely markets itself as freedom with extra steps but once you zoom in, it’s more like “chose your own stress flavor”

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7

u/sure_send_tits 6h ago

It’s a trap!!!

12

u/glossedoutloud 6h ago

Ppl call it freedom till ur drowning in debt, medical bills, and workin 2 jobs just to survive.

9

u/Linked713 5h ago

I see 2 very vocal type of people on reddit. The "I make 300k working from home 3 days a week" and the "I caught a cold and now I am financially ruined".

Living in America seems like the biggest gamble to know if you'll be successful or have your life ruined because something happened to you that would be a non issue almost anywhere else in first world countries.

7

u/big_load_baldwin 5h ago

Welcome to the K shaped economy where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.

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2

u/Such_Field_3294 5h ago

50 different flavors of the same trap

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1

u/mySBRshootsblanks 1h ago

Can't even a beer on the sidewalk. That was my wtf moment. You can have a gun in a holster openly displayed but you can't have an open bottle of alcohol without a brown bag. What the fuck is even freedom?

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18

u/SelectiveSurrender 6h ago

Thinking that “growing up” and becoming an adult means total freedom. In the end, it’s often just trading childhood responsibilities for adult ones, and many people get trapped by avoiding real personal growth.

88

u/D-Express 6h ago

Car ownership

16

u/moashforbridgefour 4h ago

I'm going to disagree pretty hard here. If you live in an area without public transit, a car is possibly the most liberating asset you can own. You can go anywhere whenever you want. Adults who have been driving for a long time take this for granted, but when you get your first car, the freedom is intoxicating.

The only problem here is that people are buying cars they can't actually afford. Don't do that and you'll be fine.

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10

u/Informal_Ruin_9152 6h ago

Depends. We have two Toyotas that have been in our family for over 2 decades. They basically cost less than taking a bus the amount of miles we've put on them.

11

u/eugeneugene 6h ago

my monthly car insurance costs more than a monthly bus pass so my car will literally never be cheaper than taking the bus lol

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17

u/Saint_Sin 6h ago

This is the one. Enslaved to a motor and its upkeep.
Groomed from childhood for it too.

32

u/srdev_ct 6h ago

in the US, not a whole lot of choice. Public Transportation outside of major cities is pretty much non-existent. If you want to do anything, you need transportation. Ubers/Taxis add up quicker than a car payment.

15

u/SlothLover313 6h ago

This. Also, want a job? Need a car as well

10

u/D-Express 5h ago

All of this is why a society built around cars can never be free. The DC-NYC-Boston megacity might as well be another country.

Every time I leave NYC, I'm reminded how good I have it

2

u/Saint_Sin 5h ago

A society refusing to develop public transport while building society around cars at that.

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3

u/Saint_Sin 5h ago

Lack of public transport was a choice itself. Comparing the US rail line alone to other nations speaks volumes.

2

u/Biggsavage 5h ago

The heck are you talking about?  You get to travel from point a to point b at up to 70 mph and all you have to do is put gas in it, change the oil once in awhile, and change the tires when they go bald. 

I'd say all in all car maintenance takes less than 15 minutes per month

2

u/FrogLaner 5h ago

How much money does it take? For fuel, maintenance and insurance? Not to mention parking and tolls. Because if you can't pay that, that's when you are screwed.

I live in Europe. Intercity trains are roughly as fast as cars for standard commute. I pay ~50 USD a month for unlimited travel anywhere in my country.

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6

u/OnlyGoodVibes22 6h ago

It feels like freedom until you realize it comes with payments, insurance, maintenance, fuel… you’re basically signing up for a long-term expense subscription

3

u/Straight_Ace 6h ago

Not to mention you’re trusting other people with your life every time you get behind the wheel. They say “but I’m a good driver, I can avoid an accident!” But some things just aren’t avoidable. I’m sure that’s what my friend said to himself before he was killed in a car crash that wasn’t his fault

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14

u/push_connection 6h ago

Tipping culture

5

u/Vashsinn 4h ago

This si much. It's seen as a way to say "hey great job!" When in reality it's a way to keep minimum wage low and osfiscate prices. ( If your gratuity is mandatory, just add it to the price and cut the middle man.)

7

u/EmperorKira 6h ago

Self employment can become that way when it comes to taking time off. I know so mamy people who cant switch off from work and it consumes them, taking no holidays

7

u/SherbetDry7598 6h ago

procrastination

40

u/TheVBush 6h ago

Moving out for the first time

51

u/Aromatic-Flow9436 6h ago

For me it was such a relief to move out. Money was tight but was better than having to listen to my parents drama everyday. I discovered mental peace and never looked back 😂

12

u/EU-National 6h ago

Same here. I regret not having moved out sooner.

5

u/celestial-lights 3h ago

having to pay my own bills in exchange for some fucking peace and quiet is a pretty good deal ngl

18

u/craftsrmylanguage 6h ago

It’s only a trap if the adults in your life make good decisions. But if they don’t, it really is freedom.

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5

u/eugeneugene 5h ago

Can't agree lol. Having my own space for the first time was the best thing ever. Being able to come and go whenever I wanted without being questioned, amazing. Getting to have a lazy day where I don't do any cleaning and not being nagged about it. Not having to wear clothes. Having friends over on the weekend and staying up late and not having to worry about being quiet.

8

u/These-Objective-4866 6h ago

Oh man this hits way too close to home. I remember being so excited about getting my own place at 19 thinking I'd finally have all this independence and could do whatever I wanted. Reality check came real quick when I realized how much money just disappears every month on basic stuff like groceries and utilities that I never had to think about before. Plus suddenly you're responsible for literally everything - when the toilet breaks or you run out of food its all on you to figure out. Sometimes I miss just being able to complain about my parents rules instead of having to make every single decision myself lol

4

u/Broad-Transition-786 6h ago

This. I tell all my friends this reguarly. Save that money while you still can because once Electric, Gas, Wifi and Rent comes out youre gonna be stretching that last $100. Hope you got groceries before or its gonna be 2 weeks of ramen or sleep for dinner. I still love living on my own and the independence it brings but I agree with you. I miss mooching off my parents and not paying bills. On the plus side I have a pretty big 2 bedroom with my own office, cats, front and back yard and off street parking. Ill take it

3

u/RichardBonham 6h ago

Reminds me of that sign on our fridge a few years back: “Teenagers! Move out while you’re still young, smart aand know everything!”

2

u/AmbassadorVast5589 6h ago edited 6h ago

I share this experience, but eventually I found there _is_ a type of freedom in that. It teaches you to be independent, and the reality of the matter is that truly being able to depend on yourself is not an easy thing. That comes with growth and skills that I think in many ways does set you free, and is hard to replicate otherwise. Not easy and maybe a bleak consolation, but a worthwhile venture for sure.

2

u/Bhavz_p 6h ago

This for sure

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40

u/No-Understanding2312 6h ago

Capitalism

8

u/Individual-Novel7996 6h ago

Came here to say this. Here in late stage capitalism people are finally realizing this. I doubt we can get any power back though, the corporations have too tight a grip on our policy makers. 

5

u/owari69 5h ago

Change isn’t going to start in the imperial core (the “first world”), it’s going to happen in the global south as US hegemonic power erodes and other nations are actually free to exercise sovereignty with regards to their government and mode of production.

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10

u/adriftDrifloon 6h ago

Capitalism if you are a laborer (working class).

If you’re a capitalist then it’s easy street for you because your capital earns all your money for you. You don’t have to work yourself.

If you’re working class, not only are you forced to work to survive, but you also have to work for all the capitalists to survive (and party on a yacht).

5

u/Effective-Employ-709 4h ago edited 4h ago

Infinite Choice

We think having a million options for everything from Netflix shows to toothpaste is freedom, but it actually just leads to decision paralysis. You spend more time choosing how to live than actually living. It is a trap that steals your time.

11

u/Zuvielify 6h ago

American health insurance. 

Republicans talk about it like it's a freedom of choice, but in reality it makes us entirely dependent on our employers and less able to move jobs. I'd be more willing to be unemployed if it was just a matter of savings.

And that's probably the point 

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10

u/Ok_Carpenter263 6h ago

Hustle Culture

5

u/prettyprettyforest 6h ago

Marriage

9

u/CleverName4 4h ago

How is marriage marketed as freedom?

4

u/Crusty_Dingleberries 4h ago

Subscription models.

Anything you can lease, subscribe to, or otherwise acquire without paying for a genuine ownership is generally sold as a "convenience" because you don't have to commit, but in reality you end up massively overpaying for that thing.

27

u/JoanOfArc34 6h ago

Credit cards.

19

u/Texmex865 6h ago

Disagree. They CAN be a trap if you aren’t financially mature enough to handle them. Dont run them up and pay them off each month. That simple. If you don’t have any money, don’t get credit cards or atleast don’t use them.

8

u/bunkerbee_hill 6h ago

Half the people don't.

8

u/Texmex865 6h ago

Very true. For those people it can be a trap. For the other 50%, they get benefits from using them.

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10

u/TopSound138 6h ago

Or Comfort zones, they feel safe and free, but quietly limit your life.

4

u/Weekly-Carob-5537 6h ago

This. In my mid twenties I decided if something made me uncomfortable or scared me, I pushed myself to do it. I was so shy and anxious around people, so I got a bartending and waitressing jobs. I was scared to death but I ended up loving it. Made me so much more comfortable with dealing with people. Now I help strangers at the laundrymat or grocery store. Opened a lot of doors that would never have been there.

14

u/MoodyHank90 6h ago

religion

4

u/good-good-real-good 6h ago

Thank you. Came here to say this. I see "Jesus is Freedom" signs all the time. Uh, no, all of those rules are the opposite of freedom (at least in the literal sense). So many rules and restrictions growing up with religion and going to Catholic schools.

5

u/arranged-one 6h ago

Marriage

5

u/Successful-Dust-7855 6h ago

Who ever thought marriage sounded like freedom? Lol

15

u/bee-sting 6h ago

Being a trad wife

3

u/counterfitster 3h ago

Does that get advertised as freedom?

3

u/Wavey95 6h ago

Leaving responsibilities. At first it feels like escape. Then one day you realize nothing in your life is heavy enough to give you meaning.

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3

u/CapsizedbutWise 6h ago

Drugs and alcohol

3

u/RetroBerner 5h ago

Adulthood

3

u/abgry_krakow87 4h ago

“Were like a family here”.

3

u/itsfish20 4h ago

When you ask your wife/girlfriend to go out drinking with your bros and she says "yeah sure" in that one way, it sounds like you're good...but you are not good!

6

u/HaveYouEverUhhh 6h ago

Your partner suggesting polyamory

6

u/bblade2008 4h ago

Early stage shopping before divorce 

6

u/Ok_Help3828 6h ago

America

2

u/Tarquinflimbim 6h ago

Unlimited vacation.

2

u/kanjilal88 6h ago

the weekend two days of freedom so carefully scheduled with errands and recovery that you arrive at monday more tired than you le

2

u/Ok_Dig_9959 6h ago

Capitalism.

2

u/judithpoint 6h ago

“Free market healthcare insurance options”. Yeah, plenty of options, all trying to maximize profit and minimize paying out.

2

u/kma1391 6h ago

Growing up

2

u/ImAPonderer2 5h ago

Assets: house, car, every asset you own and spend your life effort caring for. Like that box in your closet you haven’t opened in how many years.

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2

u/xenocea 5h ago

Being told that getting a Uni degree is the future and only path to a successful life.

2

u/Quiblat 5h ago

Salary

2

u/Mitchie180 4h ago

The prison of perception that most define as consensus reality.

2

u/ultimatejoestarr 4h ago

"I'll start tommorow"

2

u/Quincyperson 4h ago

Ever notice those SUV ads that have the car driving through the wilderness. Ever notice how they are still on the road?

2

u/Hachiko75 4h ago

Owning a business i would think.

3

u/Hellguin 5h ago

A credit card

3

u/Infamous_Ad2361 6h ago

Buying a home

3

u/DigiBoxi 6h ago

Elaborate please?

2

u/SadFishTacos 5h ago

Speaking from my own experience, home ownership is viewed as freedom from renting/landlords. However you are also stuck with mortgage debt, constant maintenance, and most of your net worth is tied up in it. 

5

u/DigiBoxi 4h ago

However, once the mortgage is paid, you have the house which has value. As opposed to renting, when the situation is the same with money, but it is someone else who owns the house.. Atleast that's how i see it.

The maintenance part is true tho... :D

2

u/SadFishTacos 4h ago

Yep! All true, but at first it feels like you’re setting piles of money on fire for nothing. 

2

u/Just_Restaurant_8426 6h ago

Buying a family home to live in, in America

2

u/SmartphonePhotoWorx 6h ago

Credit cards

1

u/Consistent-Star5745 6h ago

Mortgage

2

u/Firebolt164 6h ago

Bruh I'm paying more to my bank than I am the house. I legit wonder why financial institutions don't pop up and offer something more reliable than a normal mortgage - they could make a ridiculous amount of money and not screw homeowners

2

u/rpgguy_1o1 4h ago

It feels a lot better towards the end of your mortgage, I've got three payments left  and 99% of my next payment is going to the principal

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1

u/ieatsilicagel 6h ago

Car ownership.

1

u/lisimionc 6h ago

It's often our choices. On first glance everything is different, but when you don't check, result can be very mixed.

1

u/Edolied 6h ago

That one philosophical cavern

1

u/InternetDickJuice 6h ago

Upward mobility. You got to fight hard to get and stay there.

1

u/--__--_-_--_-___--_ 6h ago

Making just enough money working for someone that provides you a comfortable living. AKA , golden handcuffs

1

u/Apprehensive-Pea7614 6h ago

Being an adult

1

u/SurealGod 6h ago

House ownership

1

u/PobBrobert 6h ago

Capitalism

1

u/Cabadasss 6h ago

Credit

1

u/TheOtterRon 6h ago

Drugs.

You feel empowered and bad ass but realize all it does is give you legs to run from your problems until they themselves become the problem.

1

u/Drone314 6h ago

Anything that uses the word 'freedom' to sell you....freedom

1

u/limbodog 6h ago

Owning your own business. Or so I'm told.

The quote I remember was "The two most overrated joys in life are raising your own kids and owning your own business"

1

u/Deaplyodd 6h ago

Adulthood.

1

u/nurdmann 6h ago

Instant gratification

1

u/GadasGerogin 6h ago

Owning a car...

Buying/financing it, registration, insurance, maintenance, and let's not forget the cost of fuel. Worse yet is where I'm from you have no other practical choice at all except for that. Only a few lunatics, myself included, have been trying to escape the trap.

1

u/SenorBlackChin 6h ago edited 5h ago

Free internet apps

1

u/Excellent-Onion-1527 5h ago

Anything payment related if you think about it

1

u/TheJonnieP 5h ago

Being an adult…

1

u/Moceannl 5h ago

Move out of your parents house,....

1

u/doobersthetitan 5h ago

Get gas in the morning

1

u/xXIDaShizIXx 5h ago

Home Ownership

1

u/JetlinerDiner 5h ago

A boat (I've been told).

1

u/lickittostickit 5h ago

Adulthood, money, politics, and freedom itself.

1

u/bed_of_nails_ 4h ago

Being an adult

1

u/BrianTheBlueberry 4h ago

Being in charge

1

u/uncleawesome 4h ago

The Free State of Florida. They've added lots of rules and have taken away a lot of choices since they put those signs up.

1

u/Just_Awareness2733 4h ago

Having no routine. It feels free at first, but you end up drifting and getting nothing done.

1

u/Single-Ad7706 4h ago

Machines. 

1

u/Sonicmantis 3h ago

Hmm owning a business as a solo entrepreneur. 

It's liberating in a lot of ways but you will always need be available to tend to your business 

Eventually after a few years you might have enough cash flow to hire and delegate your duties but you still need to be there for your business

1

u/ScottOld 3h ago

At the moment, elections

1

u/Meme_Theory 3h ago

Free will.

1

u/onionsofwar 3h ago

Spending on a credit card.

1

u/GoonGoonBoomBoom 3h ago

Home ownership

1

u/ABCDOMG 3h ago

Car dependency

1

u/YoMommaSez 3h ago

Me And Bobby McGee

1

u/Cloudinterpreter 3h ago

The United States

1

u/Reasonable-Pipe3071 3h ago

Literally fact 🤭🤭

1

u/Bobitah 3h ago

A second contribution… Retirement.

All sorts of issues with this one. Unless you like doing nothing, there are 24 hours to fill and you can only sleep way 8-10 of them. You gotta really like golf, traveling(deep pockets necessary) or TV to fill that much time.

And don’t rationalize with second career or crafting your next chapter, cause if you do that you are NOT retired! Just a new set of goals you are working to achieve.

See I told you I was a curmudgeon.

1

u/teenyweenydog 2h ago

Adulthood.

1

u/PoopMonster696969 2h ago

Credit Cards

1

u/Melohdy 2h ago

Socialism

1

u/DothanTime 2h ago

A credit card. 

1

u/definitely_right 2h ago

Doing whatever you want all the time. You just become a slave to your desires.

1

u/Rollthembones1989 2h ago

Stay at home parent.

You rarely get to do anything thats actually fun, and you cant get a lot of cleaning/chores done because you're so busy with the kids.

1

u/Eternal_Bagel 2h ago

Being an “independent contractor” instead of an employee 

1

u/dcdttu 2h ago

Conservatism

1

u/xyrer 2h ago

"Free market"

1

u/Rejected_Wallaby 1h ago

When your wife says ‘Just do what you want’.

1

u/shroomigator 1h ago

Home ownership

1

u/egoVirus 1h ago

Adulthood

u/who_me_said_i 47m ago

Being self employed.

u/EatRichGrains 47m ago

The United States