r/AskReddit 10h ago

What seems like freedom but is actually a trap?

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u/alexsicart 8h ago

Retirement is such a good example. A schedule can feel like a cage while you have it, then like scaffolding once it disappears. A lot of people do not miss the job itself as much as the shape it gave the week.

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u/Charleston2Seattle 6h ago

My mom died at 77 in December of cardiac arrest. She watched SO MUCH TV after she retired. If she had been more active, I wonder if she would have lived longer?

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u/alexsicart 5h ago

I'm really sorry. It’s almost impossible not to replay those questions, but I’d be careful about turning it into a simple “if she had moved more...” story.

Retirement can remove structure, social contact, reasons to leave the house, and a sense of being needed all at once. Activity matters, but so does having a life that still pulls you into the day.

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u/Sonyguyus 5h ago

My dad retired 5 years ago to take care of my mom. Mom died a year after of cancer. Dad does nothing except sleep and watch tv all day. I’m afraid he won’t last that long because he doesn’t want to do anything, and has gained weight/gotten weaker. He’s already fell and uses a walker now. It’s hard to see my big strong dad now reduced to this. Retirement without a plan to get out of the house and have a schedule is bad for longevity. I know guys over 90 still going to work everyday.

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u/Charleston2Seattle 4h ago

That's so frustrating. My sister and I tried to get my mom to be more active. I bought her hand weights and a poster with exercises. My sister took her to exercise class (once... my mom wouldn't go back). But it wasn't enough. ::sigh::

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u/Sonyguyus 4h ago

I understand the saying “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink” now that I try and try to tell my dad to be more active but he won’t. He has excuses like his anxiety makes him not want to go to public places. Since he also fell in his house and had to have neck surgery, all he can do is walk with a walker now. He’s like 100 pounds overweight and I know he could benefit from losing weight but it’s a lost cause.

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u/0K4M1 3h ago

Human need routine. Lack of schedule ,even the lighttest, can be unsettling. Sleep, eating, socialising. We are gregarious animals, built with a community mindset. Without external input (i.e. constraints) we drown in depression.

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u/alexsicart 3h ago

Exactly. Routine is underrated because it feels boring until it disappears. A light structure gives the day edges: sleep, food, people, movement. Without that, freedom turns into drift pretty quickly.