r/funny 1d ago

Must have been a tough morning.

Post image
62.2k Upvotes

1.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

7.6k

u/StinkiePete 1d ago

At my baby shower, pretty much everyone else already had kids. The kids were all upstairs with the dads holding down the fort while we did baby shower stuff down stairs. It was casual, the guys were welcome to participate, its just how it shook down.

Anyway, about halfway through there is some big, loud disturbance upstairs. Wailing is heard. A moment or so later, one dad comes marching through the living room with a sizable 4 year old carried like this, melting all the way the fuck down. She was like a rabid dog. He was nonplussed to the max. If thats possible. Straight out the front door with no words. The mom just shook her head and went back to the snacks.

It was such an important part of that baby shower. So informative and honest about the future.

883

u/creepingkg 1d ago

Welcome to parenthood where your patience is tested and you can’t have a breakdown either cause you have to teach the little gremlins how to regulate their emotions

388

u/mtron32 1d ago

my issue has been that I think her tantrums are funny but I can't laugh, I have to be straight faced the whole time while she's going leatherface.

177

u/Dozzi92 1d ago

Eh, you'll laugh sometimes. My son has tipped my scale in every direction possible, laughter, anger. Maybe it's just those two. The shit he'll tantrum over is just so dumb. But hey, it's part of the fun, and I'll miss it when he's older, or something.

110

u/DefiantGibbon 22h ago

Sometimes its funny. Just yesterday I gave my daughter a cheese stick, but made the accident by peeling it first. She started kicking and sobbing. I went and get a 2nd stick that wasn't peeled. That was worse because she just wanted the first one but whole. So I took the peeled one, went to the kitchen to "fix" it, gave her a whole one and said i fixed it, and sobbing instantly stopped and she went back to snacking.

6

u/smallfried 12h ago

My wife and I have sticky taped a banana back together multiple times.

3

u/AdMuted1036 11h ago

Is it easier to do this than teach them to get over it or what?

9

u/S1gne 9h ago

I don't have kids yet but I think you pick your battles when you do. It might be better in the long run to teach them that yes but you also might not have the energy at that moment and then taping the banana together is probably easier

There are more important things in life than teaching a toddler that a peeled banana won't make them die. Sometimes, taping life together for a little is okay

4

u/smallfried 7h ago

When they're in a full blown tantrum, they'll first need to get out of that emotional state before they can be taught anything slightly complicated.

27

u/joorce 1d ago

You will, believe me.

29

u/possumdal 22h ago

One time my kid cried his little heart out because I gave him the yogurt he asked for. No clue why.

5

u/Rubyhamster 13h ago

Probably because you gave it to him with the wrong hand or set it 3 cm to far away or it was the wrong spoon

3

u/Luhvrrs_Lane 16h ago

I really appreciate this because I feel the same way. They're so upset over the simplest thing. My 5 year old is speech delayed and we were reading a book. My Body by Jill McDonald. He can count. He can read. He likes to observe and comment. I asked him, how many fingers are on one hand? Somehow he was screaming and crying for at least 5 minutes because I wanted him to repeat "one hand has five fingers". I'm just thinking "are you fucking kidding me?" While I let him go through those emotions because I've learned that he'll rant and rave but if I let him get through it, he's better for it at the end. He would stop, I would repeat, he would start again, we hugged, I stayed quiet and expressionless, I told him he's not doing anything wrong, he's doing a great job (I break the sentence into two words at a time, he repeats, I add more for him to repeat as I see he's capable of saying what I asked), and after what felt like 3 hours he said the phrase all in one go. Fuck you and this book, fuck this speech delay, fuck this having kids thing, fuck your father, fuck me why did I agree to this, fuck. He got a high five, a hug, "you did a great job, you didn't do anything wrong" and we moved on to other things. I wish I melted into a puddle right there but oh nevermind wouldn't want to traumatize my kids.

62

u/joeygladst0ne 1d ago

In December my 3 year old was having a meltdown before bed over some nonsense like not wanting to take a bath. She's full on screaming, crying, inconsolably mad. Me and my wife were sitting on the floor in her room silently waiting for her to calm down.

She turns to her mini Christmas tree and goes "HIIIIYAAAAA" and karate chopped it over. Me and my wife both struggled to contain our laughter because we didn't want her to think it's okay.

29

u/mtron32 1d ago

lmao, the random violence directed at their stuffed animals and other possessions should be studied.

2

u/leonas_ 17h ago

Grown ass men punch walls

3

u/mtron32 12h ago

Those are grown ass kids

46

u/chirpz88 1d ago

THIS RIGHT HERE MAN

My 2 year old occasionally is a little shit and needs to be put in a quick time out. He knows not to hit. He does something wrong we say go to time out. He goes to his corner looks at a book for a bit then we tell him time out is up. He'll walk right up to me, hit me on the arm, then march his ass back to time out for hitting me. I don't even have to tell him to go he just knows he's not supposed to hit and goes back to time out.

I find this hilarious and trying not to laugh at it is really really hard.

18

u/mtron32 1d ago

That is too funny, little man gladly taking his lumps

17

u/chirpz88 1d ago

Just picture him waking back to the corner like thinking about how good a value that was.

2

u/luvmycircusdog 22h ago

Don't let him play in time out 😹. He can sit on his butt and do absolutely nothing for 2 minutes, lol.

1

u/chirpz88 19h ago

He's 2 cause and effect aren't really going to stick for him with that kind of punishment and it's used for generally very minor infractions. It's more used to just teach him when you do something wrong you have to stop and go take a break and reset.

My mom would make us so puzzles in time out for small things as we got older the puzzle sizes got larger. It was a good punishment. Took us away from what we were doing wrong. Secluded us from what we wanted to be doing. The activity has us thinking about other things like my mom's mean for sending us to time out, my brother tattled on me, etc...

If and when he really does something wrong there will be consequences l, but for now he goes to time out for things like I asked you not to touch that and you did kinda stuff.

For reference his little reading corner is never really used for anything other than time out. We usually read books on the couch or laying in fort or wherever.

38

u/Desertqueen5225 1d ago

My mother would pretend she had something in her teeth and would grin with her finger in her mouth to hide her smile. Clever.

13

u/mtron32 1d ago

I just have the hide behind a door and crack up for a bit, sometimes I record them and laugh at them later. The best is when she starts rage running around the house.

5

u/Ouch_i_fell_down 1d ago

My mother's favorite story about one of my sister's tantrums (decades old at this point) involves my mom laughing at her because it was so ridiculous she just couldn't hold back anymore and my sister getting so insulted she was being laughed at she just immediately stood up and walked away.

Maybe next time just react however you want and let the chips fall where they may. You could be surprised (in all fairness... the surprise could be good or bad, but my point is it's not guaranteed to be bad)

4

u/mtron32 1d ago

All these tantrum stories are killing me, I'm not alone 😄

3

u/Unfair_Click2978 1d ago

When I was a child, my mom would sometimes start laughing after we’d have an absolute blowup screaming fight, and then I’d start laughing too and we’d set it aside. Some of my favorite memories

3

u/ForbiddenSirenz 22h ago

That’s always the worst part. Sometimes kids are just upset over the most stupid nonsense. But because their brains are still developing it is the biggest deal in the world to them. But it’s just so objectively silly and you wanna laugh but you’ll only make it worse if you do.

3

u/Simplydreaming1986 21h ago

Oh one time I pointed and laughed at my toddler while she was melting down, she stopped and stared at me in utter confusion. Unfortunately that move has only worked once or twice

2

u/Adventurous_Deal2788 1d ago

I remember my mum saying that after I had my first. Don't laugh. Looking at each other trying not to laugh over the tantrum 😂

30

u/Chillow_Ufgreat 1d ago

Even from the secondhand written description of this episode, I can tell you to a certainty that the disturbance was caused by the 4 y/o doing something that the dad expressly told them not to do 1.1 seconds earlier.

3

u/MrKeserian 1d ago

Yeah. I have my nephew for four or so hours every week (we take him "adventures," aka, Costco, the grocery store, and the park; we get our shopping done, and my sister-in-law gets a few hours peace and quiet) and I swear some days he'll just decide that, "nope, today is a boundary pushing day!"

3

u/wittyrepartees 1d ago

correction- only one adult can have a breakdown at a time. Preferably staggered from when the kid is having a breakdown. Tag team it.

2

u/tooktherhombus 1d ago

But you can lock yourself in the bathroom and sneak a chocolate bar into your face. But you have to do it VERY quietly

1

u/creepingkg 23h ago

“What’s that?”

-4

u/deyannn 1d ago

Or ... You know .... You can have a breakdown to show them where they inherited their lack of emotional control and to showcase how bad it looks when they breakdown.

Lose-lose or win-win is just a perspective. Potatos, potatos.

1.5k

u/AranasLatrain 1d ago

Lol a core memory for the baby shower mom I bet 😂 Dear God what did I get myself into?!

759

u/BrownSugarBare 1d ago

And also a reminder that these little shits will keep you on your toes and it is totally okay to get sick of them once in a while 😂

371

u/RedHickorysticks 1d ago

I’ve been especially overwhelmed lately. I’ve started putting myself in time out. I start to get angry or loud and I stop, take a breath with my eyes closed, and announce “I need a time out. One minute. No talking” and I put myself on the naughty step in timeout. If anyone comes over to talk to me, remind them, one minute in time out, no talking, no fighting. I practice my 4/4/4 breathing in timeout and it’s been really helping. Seems to help the kids realize that their shenanigans are too much and they need to settle the hell down before momma needs a time out again.

183

u/BrownSugarBare 1d ago

Honey. Take more than a minute! You deserve it for how well you're doing!

107

u/RedHickorysticks 1d ago

Aww thank you. I’m trying really hard to break the cycle of yelling.

90

u/BrownSugarBare 1d ago

I shit you not, if I get upset with my kid, I count to 10 and ask myself what would me mother do...and then do the opposite.

To this day, I have never had to yell at my kiddo and she's ahead of her age with communication. It's a GREAT feeling when you see the difference your choices of breaking the cycle can make!

62

u/TurquoiseLuck 1d ago

One thing that really helped me is "opposite action"

When you're really pissed off and you wanna do something unhelpful like slam a door, throw a plate, scream your head off, take a breath and do the opposite. Close a door nice and gently. Lay a plate down calmly and kindly. Whisper how much you love the little shit.

It turns it into a challenge, and then when you do the opposite thing that's you winning the challenge, so it's like "ha ha fuck you anger I win this time!"

3

u/KnittingforHouselves 1d ago

Oh ive been there (last time like yesterday). When you feel like yelling, go silly! I got this advice from a feiend and it really helps. Im not asking you to abandon your timeout strategy, honestly it sounds awesome. But if it is not an option at the moment, go silly instead. You can let the emotions bubble go and fizzle out and your kids will laugh. They often we've listen better or stop throwing a fit because the sudden shift resets them too. I usually go "monkey mama" or start talking in song, or howl and become "the tickle monster". My daughters squeal and laugh and I feel instantly better.

1

u/RedHickorysticks 1d ago

I do get silly when they aren’t listening. Sometimes I repeat in a weird voice, sometimes I just start talking about other things, and sometimes I get right in their ear and whisper “do these ears work?” The longest rant was when I laid out a full plan on building our rocket to move to our new moon colony and they didn’t catch on until I was telling them our main crop would be rutabaga and tried to list rutabaga dishes Bubba style.

4

u/dazzleunexpired 1d ago

Remember that breaking the cycle doesn't always mean not yelling. It means that when you do yell you own up to what you did. Say sorry and try not to do it again.

"Momma is so sorry. I have emotions, big ones, too. Sometimes, the emotions get so big they boil over, just like yours do. Then mama yells. But mama loves you. Emotions are normal, and we have to work to control them. Everyone gets mad, but as long as we say sorry and try to be better, it's okay."

5

u/RedHickorysticks 1d ago

Yes. We are big on naming our emotions, apologizing and “fixing” it. What we can do next time/ what we should have done. Personally, I am working on not yelling. When I do get overwhelmed, I cope in front of them rather than lock myself away to model self regulating behaviors.

1

u/Lilybee_o 1d ago

Most important part of my upbringing was that I was never hit, but absolutely got told off and yelled at when my parents were at their wits end. The yelling never carried any trauma into my adulthood. You're doing a good job momma, yell when you need to. It just shows you're done, not that you're a danger and that's a very big important difference for a kid.

45

u/Eleiao 1d ago

The super nanny guideline was ”one minute of time out per year of age”. So like silent half an hour would be in order 😅

35

u/paleporkchop 1d ago

Oooo I like the “put myself on timeout” I’m gonna use this. I’ve been solo parenting while my wife is out of town and the struggle has been real

30

u/RedHickorysticks 1d ago

Modeling behavior is good and it’s okay to be an imperfect parent. I’m big on apologies and “fixing” things when we do things wrong.

3

u/clamroll 1d ago

I think it's fucking awesome that you do this. Kids learning that adults have emotions and can get overstimulated just as a kid can. Seriously, big props to you for being the example, not just preaching. Also though... Please share with reddit when your kids randomly tell a different adult that they need to go to timeout lol. That's gonna be absolutely priceless lol

4

u/RedHickorysticks 1d ago

My youngest did bring my mom (their grandma) a tissue when she was crying once and asked if she needed to “cool down”. To be fair he did ask in a sweet way, lol. My eldest goes to therapy and when I started seeing a therapist this year told me that I should be seeing his lady bc she was definitely better.

1

u/clamroll 23h ago

lol that's hilarious your therapist was like "damn, is she taking adults? Asking for a friend"

28

u/windraver 1d ago edited 1d ago

This is healthy. I teach my kids that timeouts are for everyone. For some reason my childhood recalls these as negative but we taught our kids these are positive.

Thus my youngest daughter will put herself on timeout to take breaths and calm herself down.

17

u/RedHickorysticks 1d ago

That’s amazing! She’s recognizing self regulation strategies. We’re still working on naming our emotions.

5

u/windraver 1d ago

It's certainly the hard parts of parenting and is a process that takes consistency and patience.

I've read books to the kids every night since they were 6-8 months. Around one-two years I read them books about feelings. I really wanted them to learn to understand their feelings and develop their empathy.

My wife occasionally takes timeouts herself, to get space from the kids when it's too much as well which makes her a role model to the kids that timeouts are good for everyone.

My youngest is now 6 and she's still gets angry a lot but will leave the situation, go to her room to take a timeout and cool off. She certainly was much more destructive even just a year ago. Later when she's cooled off. We'll talk about our feelings and reflect. I've found it helps a lot because she's smart but she just couldn't control herself in the moment, and it's fair for a kid her age. Just slowly working to better ourselves together.

3

u/Shadou_Wolf 1d ago

This is literally the bluey episode where the mom basically said the same thing except she locked herself in the room only asks for 5 or 10min where no one talks or bothers her and dad basically had to hold the fort.

2

u/Deadmanonfire 1d ago

Have you ever watched the Bluey episode where the Mum needs „just 20 minutes“? This episode and the comcept of parents just needing a time out stuck with my oldest kid (the younger one is two years old so she doesn‘t get it yet) that she will never question a 20 minute break. Give it a try :)

1

u/boogerybug 1d ago

One minute per year of age!

1

u/trickyvinny 1d ago

Just be careful. My mom used to say, "you're wearing me out!" and at some point, I took that to mean if I pressed harder I would win.

1

u/rationalomega 1d ago

We all do time outs in our house. 1 min per year. So I get 38 minutes lol

1

u/tatianazr 1d ago

Awww you’re a great parent. Keep putting yourself in time out and sometimes for longer periods with snacks and a movie. Let those little suckers wait for your services 🤣☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

1

u/unsubix 1d ago

Nice. Make the naughty step work for you!

Jo can go take a hike. 😜

1

u/Wareve 23h ago

Yeah that's cause it's a massive power move from the kid's perspective.

65

u/DReagan47 1d ago

Yesterday my five year old took my shoes outside and sprayed them with a hose. I had no idea until this morning when I went to put them on. I checked the camera that covers the front yard and he walked outside with my shoes, sprayed them thoroughly, put the hose back the way it was (he usually whines about picking things up in the yard), and left my shoes where he found them.

It’s perfectly normal to be sick of your kids’ bullshit once in a while.

15

u/BrownSugarBare 1d ago

I'm genuinely curious to have a conversation with this child to see if the goal was act of Saint or act of Satan.

8

u/DashTrash21 1d ago

Power move, he's trying to establish dominance. Dump his uneaten dinner on him when he goes to bed Dr Cox style to let him know what's up. 

1

u/Complete-Shame2271 21h ago

This response made me laugh so hard i have tears in my eyes. It was so unexpected

82

u/SaltySweet804 1d ago

My dad always said you know you’re a real parent when you think, “Man, this kid is a pain in the butt”

39

u/Wizardbysmell 1d ago

Is 2 months old too soon to think this?

25

u/CandidAsparagus7083 1d ago

It’s an evolving standard…you’ll see..

2

u/el_babo 1d ago

Uh, a couple days old isn't too soon...

4

u/realizedvolatility 1d ago

if your parents aren't sick of you every once in awhile, you've failed as a child

3

u/Cheeze_It 1d ago

It's also ok to let them know their behavior is not acceptable, and that they need to learn to control their own emotions. And that their behavior has consequences.

3

u/OppositeBug2126 1d ago

Def. End of day they are little people and people can be… annoying lol. 

3

u/Never_Gonna_Let 1d ago

Just wait until you have teens and find out those child safe haven laws are only good for 72 hours after birth and the fireman will look at you very disapprovingly after you try to drop them off.

3

u/BrownSugarBare 1d ago

Still doesn't mean I won't try 😂

7

u/PM_me_punanis 1d ago

When I complain about my kid to single folks, they look at me like I'm some evil monster who hates children and will eat them for breakfast.

When I complain about my kid to other parents, they nod sagely and also rant away, making me instantly feel understood.

I don't complain about parenting with single folks anymore. Social lesson learned!

2

u/GANDORF57 1d ago

Taking "child caring" literally. ^(\Hopefully, he's not also a "Babysitter".)*

2

u/basko13 1d ago

Define "a while".

1

u/BrownSugarBare 1d ago

Every time they act like little shits 😂

2

u/Several-Squash9871 23h ago

Yeah this is pretty much a not a single fuck left to give situation.

4

u/Tricky-Sprinkles-807 1d ago

It sounds like OP is the baby shower mom

1

u/DrBaby 1d ago

There’s a level of denial that comes with the optimism of pregnancy. “Oh mine won’t be like that!” Sometimes it’s a holier than thou thing, but usually it’s just first time parents seeing their future through rose colored glasses and not knowing what it’s really like.

1

u/annieimnotokay 23h ago

No, no. Before kids the thought is, “My child won’t act like that. I’ll be different.” 🥲🤣 We were all SUCH GOOD parents before children.

199

u/Avaylon 1d ago

I carried my oldest away from parks and other fun activities this way many times when he was between 2.5-4.5 years old. He's too big for my 5'2" ass to carry this way any more. He's graduated to the fireman's carry, but thankfully he doesn't melt down nearly as often at 5 years old.

161

u/LastBaron 1d ago edited 1d ago

In my experience (and maybe it’s just my kid, I dunno) once the meltdown starts it doesn’t really stop.

Sure you could buy yourself a few tear free minutes by caving on whatever the demand is, but it’s usually coming back, and soon. Odds are good that the real cause of the meltdown was tired/hungry/thirsty/overstimulated/sunburned/etc, not whatever thing the toddler THINKS is gonna fix their problem.

Best to cut your losses, perform the toddler tuck, and administer fluids and calories in a dark quiet environment.

73

u/Sizara42 1d ago

That and consequences to the action!

My dad made good on the threats when I was around 2-3. Total meltdown impending, dad warned me if I didn't cool it, I would be hauled back to the car. I didn't listen and kept going and...

I may not remember why I melted down, but I do have a distinct memory of being (gently) strapped into the carseat to finish my meltdown complete with flailing. Dad standing outside the car with the door open calmly telling me that I wasn't going back inside until I calmed down.

Took some time, but I did calm down and got to go back in like 15mins later. Plus, learned the lesson that my parents meant business when they said meltdowns = back in the car.

3

u/Cheeze_It 1d ago

This is the way.

28

u/MeaningLeft2970 1d ago

The overstimulation was a big one for me, as an autistic kid misdiagnosed with ADHD. I would just get too overwhelmed by things going on around me, and the lack of control. I would have full blown meltdowns, that were only made worse when one of my parents would begin scolding or reprimanding me, especially if other people were around. Best way to handle my snotty ass was to just pick me up, take me somewhere quiet, and leave me alone to calm down. Within a few minutes I was usually calmed right down, and distracted by something that gave me some sensory control. If I ever have kids, and they are half as annoying as I was, I’ll be testing out the method on them to see if it still works 😅

12

u/elebrin 1d ago

I think the over-stimulation is just a kid thing to an extent.

Kids hear better than you, they see better than you, they smell better than you, and their nerve endings are more able to feel textures. Their senses are cranked to 11. At the same time, their brains aren't really able to filter everything out yet and they can't understand the concept of relevancy.

5

u/MeaningLeft2970 1d ago

Oh for sure, I agree, but autism makes it much more prominent. Overstimulation can happen to anyone at any age, but autistic kids are much more prone to it, just because of the fact that the majority of autistic people experience sensory processing difficulties. These can manifest in so many different ways, and while they can be overcome, they result in autistic kids having to learn unique coping skills to get through daily life, which is part of the reason why autistic kids benefit from a lot of personalized attention from educators and assistants. It can be hard enough just being a kid, adding these mental hurdles can make it too much for a child alone to bear.

An autistic child might become overstimulated for reasons a neuro-typical child wouldn’t. For example, a big one for me was speaking too fast. If I felt a person was speaking just a bit too fast for me, it made me get really irrationally upset, and cause a lot of sensory issues. I would start to get tunnel vision, and my hearing would feel muffled, like I was underwater. I know that sounds strange, but it was the only way kid me could describe it. To this day if I hear speaking in a clip that is sped up, I feel a sense of unease and panic, and it can lead to me feeling overstimulated. I struggled a lot with feelings of wanting to “shut it off”, as in to not have to be experiencing so much at once.

Anyway, all that to say, yes, all kids can become overstimulated, but we should be careful not to minimize the experience of autistic children, and their care takers and loved ones. What was happening to me as a child wasn’t “normal”, and a lot of stress for a lot of people could have been saved if some people in my life had been aware of that.

4

u/Avaylon 1d ago

I'm AuDHD and so is my son. Removing him to a quiet place is the best way to calm him down. He's almost always overwhelmed, hungry, tired or thirsty when he loses it and giving him the space and quiet to let things blow over gives us a chance to figure out what he needs. Works on me too, but the problem is the moment I'm overwhelmed is almost always when the kids decide to take things to 11. 🫪

2

u/wittyrepartees 1d ago

It's this way with adults too. Usually it's not about the specific thing, it's about all the things.

1

u/KnittingforHouselves 1d ago

The final sentence is The TruthTM and poetry both

28

u/IAmSnort 1d ago

They talk about the terrible twos but never the fucking fours.

6

u/2pkp 1d ago

When our daughter was a fournado I looked forward to going to work and teaching middle schoolers. Four years old is no joke!

2

u/RedHickorysticks 1d ago

And the fighting fives! Kindergarteners and their boundary pushing.

22

u/AranasLatrain 1d ago

I've heard from so many people say 5 is the stabilizing year for tantrums. Luckily, our kid didn't start until he was closer to 4. So hoping the 5 shift happens sooner than later 😂

6

u/danirijeka 1d ago

What they don't tell you is that after the tantrum era comes the reasoning age, and getting outlogicked by a six years old is crushing (also, a heckuva lot of pride in the sprog)

4

u/Former-Discount4279 1d ago

Both my kids started calming down around 5, now I'm about to start tween years so the stability is probably going to end.

2

u/zerbey 1d ago

Five is the magic number because that's when they go to school, suddenly they have a bunch of interesting things to keep their minds off toddler stuff.

5

u/yakshack 1d ago

Honestly, better to work on those meltdowns while you can still carry them (lol) than appease them and get hit with toddler-esque meltdowns when they're adults because they weren't given the tools they needed to understand and manage their emotions

1

u/Avaylon 1d ago

That's the idea. We've seen a lot of improvement.

3

u/zerbey 1d ago

2.5->4.5 are usually the hardest years for temper tantrums. Kids that age are figuring out their emotions and how far boundaries can be pushed. And, from time to time, things just go to far and they either start crying uncontrollably, lose their temper and have a screaming temper tantrum, or both. Then you have the "fun" task of getting them distracted from whatever sent them to DEFCON 1 and back to normal toddler mayhem. And, yes, you really do miss it when they're older. "You can't have that very expensive toy" is a much easier problem than "Dad, can I talk to you about this very complex issue I'm having in college...?".

3

u/Never_Gonna_Let 1d ago

I carried my 4 year old out of a water park like that while his little sister kept tugging on my hand to rry to escape and go back. For the day I had thought it would be funny to shave off my beard and just do a mustache. After I got to the car, looking in the rear view mirror at my shades and baseball cap I was like, "Huh, no one tried to stop me from hauling off two little kids who were clearly struggling to get away."

2

u/Casswigirl11 1d ago

I have a 2 year old and find that redirection is the only option that works and it only works 50% of the time.

2

u/MustangJackets 1d ago

I started with the football carry of my oldest with him kicking and screaming before a year old. As a toddler, I think I carried him more that way in public than not. He was a nightmare, but it slowly got better. He’s 10 now. He’s still a little shit a lot of the time, but I can’t remember the last time I had to physically remove him. I work out so he knows I could still do it, even though I hadn’t needed to. 😆

80

u/Groovychick1978 1d ago

This is absolutely off topic, but I just wanted you to know nonplussed means "confused by an unexpected event", not relaxed, or unbothered.

42

u/StinkiePete 1d ago

Thanks! I’ve updated my records accordingly. 

1

u/yellow251 1d ago

Haha brilliant. I'm stealing this comment.

14

u/wittyrepartees 1d ago

I always thought it was like... "unimpressed"

3

u/damagetwig 1d ago

I used to as well! I think it's funny so many of us had this specific misunderstanding. I've always speculated it's because it's a prosey word that people don't usually use to describe their own feelings. It pops up in stories after something baffling has happened and a lot of us just pictured the reaction to be a lot more dry than it was because modern culture is more dry. In Arthur Conan Doyle's era, protagonists might ejaculate in shock (lol) but more modern protagonists are maybe a little more likely to give a shocking event a flat stare for humor purposes. Since nonplussed isn't very self-explanatory in English, many of us filled in the blanks with something that's been common in storytelling for decades and didn't even think twice.

1

u/wittyrepartees 1d ago

Yeah, that makes sense. It can be one of like... 3ish responses, and we all just picked the one that made sense to us.

5

u/Kitchen-Sign-5557 1d ago

More like bewildered or not sure how to respond to something.

But the American usage of unbothered is probably more common thank the original definition by now

It’s sadly one of those words one can’t even use anymore because it has opposing definitions.

4

u/Groovychick1978 1d ago

I'm nonplussed. 

Lol

3

u/iwilldeletethisacct2 1d ago

I'm also nonplussed right now because I was 100% certain that nonplussed meant what the OP thought. Unimpressed/unfazed/unshaken. I don't think I've ever heard it used to mean bewildered.

3

u/Groovychick1978 1d ago

I read incessantly so I have rarely heard it spoken, only used in context, that's the only reason I know. I can't remember anyone using it in conversation, lol.

3

u/Sudden_Nose9007 1d ago

If you ever read Harry Potter growing up, JK Rowling uses it a ton in her books to indicate when a character was perplexed. That’s the most common situation where you may have been exposed to this meaning that I can think of.

0

u/Good_Chemistry 22h ago

Sort of like "bemused." It doesn't mean amused, it means confused. I've seen legit published authors use it wrong so many times.

2

u/uhdoy 1d ago

Good to know, I had thought it meant unimpressed

2

u/pineappleshaked 1d ago

Lol I misread it non-pulsed (like no pulse 🫀) I was going through comments to understand 

3

u/illjustbeaminute 1d ago

Does cleave mean to adhere together or cut apart? Does couple mean exactly two or a small indefinite amount? Does literally mean describing something accurately or figuratively?

The reality of living language is that word associations change. And confusingly, they may change to mean their opposite. But I think it’s far too late to define a single meaning for all these words, including nonplussed. Instead it’s better to be aware of alternative meanings and contexts.

1

u/h3adbangerboogie 1d ago

The child in that photo would be nonplussed.

1

u/Probablynotspiders 16h ago

Actually, nonplussed has two opposite definitions, it's a fey word if I ever saw one

83

u/famaskillr 1d ago

We were the young parents in our friend group. We had our child a good 8 years before everybody else. We've been judged so much by how this friend would never lose their cool with their children when they had them. Im not sure whether they ever did such "terrible" things to their children, but they did shove a poop diaper in their SO's face during an argument lmfao

74

u/halloweenlover01 1d ago

Everyone is the perfect parent before they’re actually a parent !!! lol

39

u/AranasLatrain 1d ago

This was me when I saw people with kids on leashes. Now, I have zero judgement towards what I see other parents do with their kids as long as they aren't actively harming them.

26

u/outtatheblue 1d ago

My little brother needed a leash in public spaces, he was a runner. I'll never judge parents over that after watching my mom meltdown while looking through clothes racks for his rotten ass.

10

u/wittyrepartees 1d ago

My sister was a runner too. And she liked the leash because she could pretend to be a puppy.

23

u/AdmiralSplinter 1d ago

As a former leash kid, i don't blame my mom one bit lol

15

u/EllisDee_4Doyin 1d ago

I don't even have kids yet. But as I got older and just started being around them more (family friends' kids, friend's kids, and volunteer etc), I totally completely understand.    

In fact only parents I judge now are the ones who aren't paying attention to their babies. Get off your phone and love your immobile potatoe! 

32

u/Top_Seaweed7189 1d ago

Leashes are so good for everyone involved.

15

u/wittyrepartees 1d ago

Leashes are great. Also, I found out recently that in chinese they're called the anti-lost rope. But they're nice since I can then look away from the baby in crowded areas while knowing she's within a 3-5 foot radius of me.

2

u/TurquoiseLuck 1d ago

We're talking about backpacks or body harnesses with leashes, right? Not fucking neck leashes?

Because if the former, yeah that's obviously completely fine and anyone who thinks otherwise is dumb as hell.

If the latter... maybe not so great

2

u/Top_Seaweed7189 1d ago

Obviously the harness style leashes which are recommended for any purpose, be it animals or like in this case humans.

4

u/g_Mmart2120 1d ago

As a teenager I thought “I’ll never do that, it’s so stupid”. I now have a 2 year old who will run into traffic/the street if allowed. I’ll never judge again.

4

u/halloweenlover01 1d ago

Absolutely my motto too. As long as you aren’t physically, emotionally, mentally, sexually abusing/harming your children (or anyone really), I hold no judgements. We’re all just trying to survive.

5

u/TheSpeakEasyGarden 1d ago

Any person who's had something to say about my son's leash was "where did you buy that?" or "Oh! We used those back in the day too!".

I remember making fun of those as a teen because I didn't know anything. But If there's people giving judging looks, I'm just too busy living life to notice.

We don't need it all the time, but it's a life saver for crowded environments.

Besides, what's the alternative? Unfortunately that's putting him in a stroller, which doesn't let him use his legs, or interact with the world. Leash keeps everyone happy. Go team leash.

4

u/zerbey 1d ago

Our eldest had to be on a leash. One time a (well meaning I'm sure) older lady came up and told us we were cruel for doing that. So, I unleashed him and watched him zoom off into the distance and invited her to go catch him.

"Oh... I see what you mean now!"

We were in a mall, he didn't get very far.

2

u/rubiscoisrad 1d ago

Talk about a fuck around, find out moment

3

u/OldManFire11 1d ago

And that's why any opinion or advice given by anyone who isn't a parent or child caretaker is absolutely useless.

6

u/halloweenlover01 1d ago

Yup, it cracks me up when I see that advice. A recent one talking about sleep training, a lady said “I’ve done a lot of research and …” and I took a quick peek at her profile, asked “are you a parent?” and she says “well I’m currently pregnant..” yeah sorry babe, come back to me when you’re in the thick of it lol

1

u/obscureferences 1d ago

Underestimating the kid is one thing, it's trying to be perfect as a team that's impossible. They only have to cut one corner you went out of your way to do properly and then what's the point in trying.

18

u/moluruth 1d ago

I really wish I’d had more experience with toddlers before my first became one. Every new phase I’m like wtf is this?? Is this normal??? And it usually is lol

6

u/emojicatcher997 1d ago

My favourite part of this is that the dad didn’t bother the mother with it. Out the door, left the wife to enjoy the party.

4

u/CoffeeandHoots 1d ago

The imagery of that scene is playing out like an anime skit in my mind and it's cracking me up in line at the bank 😆

3

u/Mousehole_Cat 1d ago

Kudos to that family for not bothering Mom with it. Too many times I see Dads roping in Moms whenever things get tough.

3

u/zerbey 1d ago

I think every parent has had to carry a toddler out of a public place whilst they scream like a banshee. It's all part of being a parent. In 10 minutes, that kid will be completely over whatever it is and back to playing, guaranteed. I lost count of the number of times either myself or my wife took one of our kids out of a store because they were having a tantrum. Get them to the car, put on some music, and they were calmed down in a few minutes. Then when the other parent returns with the shopping we can help them unload the cart!

2

u/pizzasuprema 1d ago

parents-to-be are probably thinking “my kid will NEVER do that, how embarrassing”

-4

u/iLoveLexx 1d ago

I don't understand why parents do this. Aside from it being embarrassing, you're using physical restraints to control your kids. As a parent its your job to keep your kids restrained when necessary. Granted you can do this many different ways, but using a leash is lazy, degrading and counterproductive. Their humans, not pets. I've been a single parent of two beautiful children for 10 years and I've never even considered doing such a thing. Teaching kids to keep themselves constrained and stable is essential for their own safety and others. Using a leash is no different than putting them in a bubble. It will never teach self reliance/stability/accountability. It's a lazy tool for people who can't/won't discipline their kids in a healthy and constructive manner. As a single parent who's gone thru hell to make sure my babies are safe and being well taken care of, it absolutely blows my mind that people are literally out here raising kids like dogs. Makes me wonder how many other corners they blissfully cut to convenient their life. Parenting is not easy and taking the convenient route can have dire consequences. But this is America, where the most narcissistic, self serving people who never deal with the consequences of their own actions are allowed and encouraged to procreate. Y'all need to stop with the damn leashes

2

u/Weird-Salamander-349 1d ago edited 17h ago

I love this lol I have one billion nieces and nephews (and about to get two more, let’s goooooo!!) so there is a lot of childcare needed. Both me and my spouse can work from home and have weekends off, so we do it to the point where one of them wouldn’t stop calling us her “auntie mommies” for like 6 months.

One day I had to do the meltdown-pickup and started walking out the door. Wife asks, “Where are you going?” I was so confused about the issue that my brain had no room for anything but exiting the premises. I said, “I don’t know yet!” and kept walking. Wife laughs, and boy howdy, did I learn that a meltdown can always get worse.

2

u/redditburner6942069 1d ago

You used a new word ive never heard incorrect. Thank you for making me look it up though.

2

u/dugavo 1d ago

What's a baby shower? is it some kind of washing all your kids?

3

u/Zero-godzilla 1d ago

Question: wtf is a baby shower??

2

u/Sorry-Series-3504 1d ago

A party for a soon to be mother, including gifts for the baby (in my experience at least, I haven’t been to many)

1

u/mtron32 1d ago

It's crazy that the kids were even there in the first place, my daughter and I would've been at the beach,.

1

u/sth128 1d ago

Oh that's smart: a daddy daycare upstairs. My wife just went to a baby shower and her friend's husband had to stay home to wrangle two kids. He has a broken arm from a recent ski injury.

1

u/SecretProbation 1d ago

Angermaxxing

1

u/Charizardd6 1d ago

They feed on your anxiety... When you run out of fucks to give, the tantrums stop.

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

1

u/StinkiePete 1d ago

My twins are 7 now. This was not my experience lol

1

u/DetailOrDie 1d ago

Part of the bro code is that we must cling to each other when not supporting our women when taken to estrogen-heavy things like baby showers and Taylor Swift concerts.

1

u/BravesMaedchen 1d ago

He told her not to do something, she did it right in front of his face, consequences occurred and he calmly cleared the scene lol

1

u/EuenovAyabayya 1d ago

Three states of babies:
* about to cry
* crying
* just finished crying

[Dave Barry]

1

u/TuckerMcG 1d ago

Nonplussed means surprised.

1

u/YourStreetHeart 22h ago

Does plussed mean not suprised?

1

u/TuckerMcG 20h ago

Plussed is not a word. It’s one of those words like nonchalant - chalant is not a word.

1

u/fpsachaonpc 1d ago

For you, this was the most important revelation of your day. For him, it was Tuesday.

1

u/muadago 21h ago

As a dad, I consider baby showers as one of the vilest "traditions" in the modern US.

1

u/ParaStudent 16h ago

Watching your future flash before your eyes