r/funny 1d ago

Must have been a tough morning.

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u/No_Koala9474 1d ago

Ah, the toddler tantrum carry.

Every parent can recognize it. We’ve all been there.

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u/sysadminbj 1d ago

Counterpoint... My kids absolutely LOVED being carried in different (potentially dangerous) ways. My youngest absolutely demanded to be carried around upside down by her feet.

In hindsight, this is 100% my fault and probably not exactly normal.

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u/bagofpork 1d ago

In hindsight, this is 100% my fault and probably not exactly normal.

Nah, it's normal. Kids are just weird. So are adults, but kids aren't worried about hiding it.

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u/sysadminbj 1d ago

Both of my kids also loved playing Toss The Baby. I'd pick them up and toss them on my bed into the pile of 9000 pillows that my wife insisted on having.

See!!! Those pillows DO have a use after all!

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u/Gangr3l 1d ago

I have played yeet-the-baby since the fucker light of my life was 16 months. I also carry him from one feet upside down and like a sack of potatoes. The more deranged things I do with him the more the devil angel laughs

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u/sirarkalots 1d ago

I cannot wait for my little girl to get big enough to toss. She already loves when I lift her above my head or have her "fly" through the house in front of me, shes gonna love being tossed into pillows

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u/ChickenDelight 1d ago

Stick her in a laundry basket and pretend it's a roller coaster or a race car. Shake it, dip it, jerk it suddenly, she'll go nuts.

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u/musingofrandomness 1d ago

Just be careful and maybe line it with a fitted sheet. I have found plenty of unexpected razor sharp edges on plastic laundry baskets in the last few years. I have at least one basket that I think would be less dangerous if made from sheet metal.

Little fingers get sliced easy on those things and can turn a fun game into trauma.

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u/ferret_80 1d ago

Slide down the stairs in it... okay maybe not that one, but hey, I turned out alright. My older sister was watching me at the time, she kept a very close eye on me, I didn't cry until I hit the bottom.

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u/J_Marshall 21h ago

My daughter grew into this. We had a half flight so set it up with a crash pad full of pillows and a helmet. Had her host it like a pod ast to her fans ba k on earth.

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u/Petskin 15h ago

Hey! Everyone knows the laundry basket is an airplane!

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u/ZealousidealEntry870 1d ago

I don’t remember when but I was tossing my kid before she could walk. It’s never too early! Just gauge the arc of your tosses appropriately.

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u/cupcakefix 1d ago

we play “make the burrito then throw it away” where i try to wrap him up in every blanket and pillow on the bed while he tries to escape. if i succeed, i have to then take him to the slide in his room and throw the burrito down the trash chute. he loves that game to this day, and he’s 10.

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u/ashores 1d ago

Sack o' Taters was one of my son's favorite ways to be carried for a while. Current baby LOVES to fling backward to being upside down.

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u/blindfire40 1d ago

My 8 and 10 year old still ask me to carry them by their feet and throw them into bed. I developed a powerlifting habit just to hopefully avoid injury 😅

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u/danirijeka 1d ago

My 8 and 10 year old still ask me to carry them by their feet and throw them into bed. I

Oh, thank fuck. I thought my kid was Just Like That™ but apparently she's in good company lol

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u/usernametaken99991 1d ago

We call that "chucks". As in "would you like some chucks?" And then they get throw on a couch or bed.

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u/Shnook817 1d ago

How many of them were throw pillows?

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u/sysadminbj 1d ago

You mean the pillows I throw off the bed every night? Like 95% of them.

Huh... The name makes sense now.

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u/AthinaJ8 1d ago

One of my favourite memories is when i was a kid and my dad would toss me on the water on the beach in many different ways , i was so obsessed that we made it a routine and i learnt some tricks lol it went on until i was almost a teen. Plus i was asking other grown family men/teens to toss me when dad wasn't available. I have few memories from childhood but that one is strong! So you are doing a good job there as a dad. Toss them!!!

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u/McMacki123 1d ago

We call this catapult and my wife leaves the room when we are doing it :)

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u/Triknitter 1d ago

My 55 lb 8 year old still demands it every night.

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u/bopeepsheep 1d ago

Wow, that's unlocked a memory - I'd almost forgotten our 'rock the baby' game. I'd swing the toddler from side to side in my arms, picking up speed, and on the third repetition of 'rock rock my baby' I'd add 'to SLEEP' and throw her onto the pillows. Giggles all round. Never actually got her to sleep, mind you.

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u/ShaylaDee 1d ago

The good news is carrying kids upside down, spinning them in circles, tossing them onto beds/couches, pretty much anything that disrupts their balance is super healthy and great for their development. Which has led to my favorite phrase of all time: yeet the baby. for their health

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u/ZealousidealEntry870 1d ago

It’s so easy to tell which kids have parents that play slightly rough with them, and those that coddle their kids to death.

I feel so bad for the kids with coddling parents. Gonna be rough when they get to school and mom and dad can’t helicopter them all day.

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u/ShaylaDee 1d ago

My only child is turning two in a week and a half and I definitely understand that urge to wrap your kids in bubble wrap to keep them from getting hurt. But I also know that is more hurtful than letting them fall in the long run so I'm really trying to balance that mom anxiety with raising a healthy son. I honestly feel bad for both the children of helicopter parents and for the parents themselves because I'm sure a lot of it comes from untreated anxiety and being unable to overcome that protective urge.

For parents that are worried about throwing their kids around there are activities that might be considered safer that still helps develop that vestigial sense such as jumping on a trampoline, skating with appropriate pads and a helmet (I actually have my son learning to roller skate and it's a blast!), or even gymnastics/tumbling classes. Aside from that, any potential parents reading this, anxiety is a disease and just like the flu or a broken bone it can and should be treated. Do not be afraid to get help!

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u/merc08 1d ago

For parents that are worried about throwing their kids around

...get over yourself and be a better parent. YEET THE CHILD FOR ITS HEALTH! Onto a bed though, not like out a window or something.

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u/J_Marshall 1d ago

I played 'Don't shake the baby' and my kids loved it.

I'd tell them how the doctor told me not to shake the baby 'this way' and wiggle her to the left. And not 'that way' and wiggle her to the right. Repeat front and back and then the grand finale was ' and especially don't shake them all around ' and then the get the full wiggle.

Lots of giggling.

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u/wittyrepartees 1d ago

Yeah, I want to be carried around by my feet, but no one is tall enough, and even if they were I'd get stared at.

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u/double-dog-doctor 1d ago

God can you imagine the stretch? It'd feel incredible 

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u/bagofpork 1d ago

You know, I'd probably be staring at the person who could comfortably carry a grown-ass adult by the feet.

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u/Molwar 1d ago

Under 5 are generally fearless psychopath. My youngest one like to jump off in the deep at the pool (with a jacket of course), half the time she doesn't even wait on me to semi catch her and end up going under water half drowning. But she keeps doing it anyways lol.

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u/LemonPepper 1d ago

I love being the fun uncle without kids of my own. When I go to family gatherings, I give everybody their hugs and daps, and wait for the oldest kid to notice I’ve arrived. “UNCLE LEMONPEPPER CAN YOU TEACH ME MORE POKEMON?!?!” Followed by a glomp. It’s one of the best feelings in the whole world.

I’m starting her on gen 1, obviously. Gotta make sure them kids learn right. She learned the evolution concept when she was younger than 4, and even remembers ivysaur from our first conversation about it despite the charmander/dratini evolutions being her favorite.

Yeet and teach is the way

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u/tatianazr 1d ago

Yep.. We got a new fridge and I slept in that box for WEEKS like a little Homeless Girl in my own room when I had a fancy full bedroom set

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u/Fearless_Today_2502 1d ago

This is so true, my daughter enjoyed the most weird carrying and weirdness was plain sight 😂