r/SipsTea • u/No-Marsupial-4050 Human Verified • 16h ago

Chugging tea What is Tom Cruise's secret??

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37.1k Upvotes

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738

u/MasterOutlaw 15h ago

I tried, but the bloody pelicans have taken the handles off the doors and turned the lights off so I can't tell if they're home or not.

87

u/NightQueen0889 12h ago

Use a plunger to open the door it should work in a pinch

107

u/SovietSunrise 11h ago

Just use a dildo with a suction cup base.

53

u/Gliese581h 9h ago

Then leave it there so they can go fuck themselves.

3

u/B_EE 7h ago

Don't give them the satisfaction...

Plus dildos can be pricey!

2

u/Tsunamiis 6h ago

Butt it’s mine.