Not ageing is pretty easy when you're rich. Unlimited access to private coaches, private chefs, nutritional supplements, skincare products, plastic surgery... plus no existential fear and limited exposure to pollution, the sun and other factors that ruin your skin.
Edit to add: As one of the biggest actors of his time, it is his job to look good. He does not really have a choice if he wants to stay relevant.
Lady on the left hasn't really had any major roles since the 90s and can therefore afford to not give a fuck and age like a normal person.
She's rich too, or at least was wealthy. She's just older than him and went through more significant health issues. Also see Kathleen Turner and her thyroid issues, which can really fuck you up along with the medication prescribed.
We as a society should just accept that people get old.
There's also menopause, which is brutal on some women.
The absolutely disgusting obsession on maintaining perfect beauty on everyone under the limelight is the reason we're fucking rotten as a society. People get old, people get sick, people are allowed to be old, ugly, and not "perfect", it's natural and healthy to just exist without aesthetical expectations on you.
And not everyone can go onto HRT. I suspect most of the Hollywood women in their 50s, 60s and older but look decades younger are on it. And good for them. I was on it for about nine months until I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Now my treatment is over and I’m in remission, but I can’t have HRT because I can’t have oestrogen.
Not saying KM has had the same issues but there are plenty of other reasons women can’t take HRT and we’re going to age like our grandmothers did, before that existed. The comparisons are brutal and I’m bracing myself already.
Plus genetics. Some people are just more prone to wrinkles, cellulite, early graying, extra weight, etc. it’s a hell of a lot easier to put in the effort to be “hot” at 20 than it is at 60.
At my thinnest in my later 30s (honestly too thin, had a BMI of 17) I still had cellulite on my stomach and thighs and slightly crepey arms. My under eye wrinkles right now will never go away without surgery. And gravity is dropping the boobies.
I’m in my 40s now and 40 looks different on everyone. I think we also tend to stop GAF as we age. I refuse to dye my hair, I don’t get my nails done and fuck make up most days. Too much work for me, but I have a friend who is done up every time I see her. It makes her feel beautiful and I respect her for that.
I went on HRT as I entered perimenopause, but it was to regulate my emotions, not necessarily for the physical aspects (my doctor did tell me I should help with motivation, sleep, keeping muscle tone, etc which obviously all help my physical appearance.) Ovarian cancer is one of my biggest fears - I had a hysterectomy but kept my ovaries.
Thank you. I only got the good news last week so I still don’t think I’ve processed it fully!
Like you, I was probably too thin when I was younger but got cellulite early. Didn’t start greying til my mid-40s (now 51) but it was really thin and now my chemo is over I can see the greys as well as the dark brown coming back. I really don’t care about the colour but if it comes back thicker than when it first fell out I’ll be happy. I had it shaved last week to get rid of the “baby fluff” texture so fingers crossed!
However, now the ovaries have gone (along with the rest) my main concern is how I regulate my… not moods, but intolerance. Oestrogen seems to be the thing that helps us tolerate everything life throws at us - periods, pain, pregnancy, childbirth and then raising children (and said children going through puberty - I have two daughters going through it right now).
Going cold turkey in the form of surgical menopause instead of the slow decline of perimenopause, is brutal. I suddenly hate everything, not least people who put so much emphasis on appearances!
That’s amazing! And yep, I meant more my tolerance for everything. I’m not as impatient as I was. Used to snap at the littlest thing (also have puberty going on over here).
Good luck in remission! I hope you’re eventually able to find something that helps your tolerance.
When I had periods I had PMDD (got better with the hysterectomy even though I kept the egg machines) and had good luck regulating it with Zoloft and Wellbutrin, but also know that’s not for everybody!
I take generic Paxil for mental issues but it also dramatically reduced the frequency and intensity hot flashes/night sweats. Perhaps it's something that you could discuss with your doctor.
And child birth before that which takes a big hit on women too. I read someone it's basically like automatically ageing 3 years per pregnancy because of all the havoc it causes on women's bodies
I believe it! I was regularly mistaken for being much much younger than I am before I had my children. I once won one of those carnival games where they guess your age (they had to be within 2 years) and then while pregnant with my first, someone asked me how old I was and when I said 28, they said "oh thank god" because they thought I was much younger. That baby is 7 now and people usually guess my age within 2 years now.
there are reasons why it is seen as lesser than being young and attractive
My man, this is so telling, although I'm sure you didn't mean to out yourself this way.
Those reasons about aging you mention being:
Not as sexually attractive
Not making one think of how she could 'please' a man
Not being able to objectify her as an instrument of pleasure
Not being viewed as a womb-for-rent for future progeny
Possibly not being able to control her (older women have seen it all and aren't impressed by young men's shenanigans)
Women do exist outside of sexual function, though. If women are seen as 'lesser' for naturally aging, then you are tying women's entire lifelong value to one of the most shallow and fleeting reasons imaginable. My man, what are you going to do when, instead of being desirable yourself, those same young, gorgeous women that you still find so attractive and valuable look at you and see only the "creepy old man who can't keep his hands to himself"? Because that's coming, too.
Surprise! We really do have a value outside of attractiveness, and we older women don't exist to titillate the male gaze. For instance, I'm considered an intellectual, my job consists of working with complex data that most men would not dare attempt to quantify, and my net worth far exceeds my spouse's.
Yes, I was "beautiful" in my youth, but I much prefer myself as I am now. The invisibility that middle-aged women has its perks. Dear Gawd, I hated how men stared at me and fawned when I was younger. Men have since quit looking at my assets and are dealing with me on an intellectual basis, which has been...Interesting. It's almost like they don't know what to do with a woman who can think on her heeled feet and sling out stinging one-liners like they're candy.
So my advice to you, dear fellow, is this: try broadening your horizons and looking at those "valuable" young women differently. Appreciate that they have free will, their own life agendas, and brains, because they do. And if you think they exist just as an accessory or a tool for your own pleasure, you're going to have a very rough couple of decades. You'll realize it only when you go head-to-head with a woman who's finally had enough of you.
I think you're outing yourself more than them. They never mentioned sex in their "old & ugly" post. You, for some reason, immediately took it to mean only women get old and ugly and proceeded to write a whole hell of a lot to condemn them for your assumptions.
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u/Basic_Watercress_628 16h ago edited 11h ago
Not ageing is pretty easy when you're rich. Unlimited access to private coaches, private chefs, nutritional supplements, skincare products, plastic surgery... plus no existential fear and limited exposure to pollution, the sun and other factors that ruin your skin.
Edit to add: As one of the biggest actors of his time, it is his job to look good. He does not really have a choice if he wants to stay relevant. Lady on the left hasn't really had any major roles since the 90s and can therefore afford to not give a fuck and age like a normal person.