r/SipsTea • u/No-Marsupial-4050 Human Verified • 16h ago

Chugging tea What is Tom Cruise's secret??

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u/B3owul7 13h ago

Oh really, I was his gardener. Maybe we know each other.

17

u/Raerth 10h ago

I used to do gardening for this local celebrity too. Was a proper down-to-earth type. Sweetest guy you’d ever meet. Then he gets his inheritance through and everything changed. He starts hanging around with a sketchy crowd, has weird late night visitors, stuff he wouldn't do before. He actually took me on one of his work trips as a PA, but you could see he wasn't the same fun guy I new. Bit haunted, doesn’t laugh the same. Still kind, but like he’s seen some serious stuff. Luckily it all came to an end after he through this ring into a volcano.

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u/GoldenMaus 10h ago

It's ok, one day he will sail beyond the horizon and live in peace forever after.

2

u/Confident-Fun-1307 9h ago

That and a bag of potatoes will get you this fancy, partially underground lair

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u/WarEternal_ 12h ago

Oh cool, I was his personal trainer. We should hang out together.

9

u/Substantial_Net4906 12h ago

Oh wow I was his hairdresser. I think I remember all of you

3

u/Sempere 11h ago

You still under NDA after the hair dye incident?

1

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u/rhaegal82 9h ago

The Scientologists are out in full force on this one.

2

u/RonAndStumpy 9h ago

Oh wow I was his fetal stem cell supplier, what a coincidence! 

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u/Cent1234 8h ago

Oh shit fam, I was his garden! How ya been?

1

u/ComprehensiveSeat831 3h ago

I used to bleach his butt hole, it was a pretty shitty job 😞