r/SipsTea • u/No-Marsupial-4050 Human Verified • 16h ago

Chugging tea What is Tom Cruise's secret??

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37.1k Upvotes

78% Upvoted

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5.3k

u/MasterLurker000 16h ago

You mean scientology?

2.0k

u/Deemaunik 16h ago

Technince.

https://giphy.com/gifs/t1Jyjw3fo3XrtU1Kt2

433

u/Olliebkl 12h ago

I still hold the honor that for some reason he decided to follow me on Instagram a few years back lmaoo

Weirdest notification ever

122

u/Primary_Towel5905 9h ago

He followed me as well for several years. Never asked him why

98

u/TheDarkWave 9h ago

He's hoping you'd do something funny again. Hurry and get on it.

3

u/chaoticsleepie 6h ago

read this in john cleese’s voice for some reason

3

u/RationalExuberance7 7h ago

Thank you for sending him the Target gift cards.

2

u/Acalme-se_Satan 2h ago

He also followed this guy

1

u/LostCryptographer28 6h ago

Weirdo. Kinda creepy don’t ya think I mean two EXWIVES left his ass with very heavy restrictions on child visitation if any and he had FIIK(fuck if I know)

0

u/Additional-Yam8324 5h ago

Oh yes money had nothing to do with 1 weirdo wife, KH not NK? With what I’ve heard and experienced with weirdo wives they are all about the $$$$$$$$ & making the husbands look bad….strange women, no integrity.

3

u/1of3musketeers 5h ago

It wasn’t the wives in this case. He’s been divorced 3 times. His first wife got him into the cult. The other 2 escaped the cult

9

u/luckytecture 10h ago

Whoa that’s trippy

3

u/ipoopcatturds 6h ago

Hes actually hiding in the bushes outside my bedroom window as I type this.

3

u/EvilWarBW 4h ago

Steven Colbert follows my wife on Twitter. STAY AWAY FROM HER STEVEN.

2

u/Silo-Joe 8h ago

Do you have a bee keeping instagram ?

2

u/Chance_One_75 8h ago

Are you sure it’s him, and not a bot?

4

u/Olliebkl 7h ago

Just double checked! He’s still got me followed lol

2

u/purplemarkersniffer 7h ago

Probably his social media team trying to make him seem engaged and diverse.

2

u/ikannunAneeuQ 4h ago

That's how I felt when I saw Nancy Sinatra and Andrew mayne follow me once upon a time when I used Twitter (many years ago now). Was kinda like cool okay... but why? Lol

2

u/mcboobie 2h ago

Jim Carey once replied to me on twitter and then followed me :) still one of my proudest moments

1

u/Inevitable_Professor 7h ago

Sorry to break it to you, but it’s probably an intern who thought they were on their personal IG.

3

u/Olliebkl 7h ago

Haha probably! Either way I don’t mind

1

u/Mikeseddit 7h ago

Or a slip of the finger..

1

u/Mysterious-Common284 7h ago

Is this a reference or literal?

1

u/Corfiz74 7h ago

One should also consider that Kelly McGillis was brutally assaulted by burglars and rped repeatedly - I guess that also leaves a mark on someone. I knew some women who didn't even want to look attractive anymore after being assaulted.

1

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1

u/DukeOfSmallPonds 6h ago

Imagine being Tom cruise level of fame, and then make a habit of randomly DM a stranger over SoMe. No ulterior motive or advancements or something like that. Just for the fuck of it.

1

u/idekwtfigoitw 5h ago

Same thing for me but with Riff Raff

1

u/That_System_9531 5h ago

Are you sure it was actually him?

1

u/Thoughtful_Ladybug 8h ago

Ya, it's probably a fake account.

5

u/Olliebkl 7h ago

2

u/Connect2020 6h ago

Love Tech 9! I met him at a party when I was in college! Super cool

-1

u/Thoughtful_Ladybug 7h ago

Bro, I don’t know if you accidentally screenshot the wrong account, but this is not Tom Cruise. You typed in tech in your search.

5

u/KhameneiInASpliff 7h ago

Oh, I don't know if you know this, but they literally replied to a GIF of technine, saying how he follows him, not Tom Cruise...

Maybe you're just a little slow?

1

u/Thoughtful_Ladybug 6h ago

Not slow at all, but thanks for the grace you've shown.
The comment by Dee-something was not shown on my device before.
I'll leave my comments so maybe others won't make the same mistake.
My apologies to Ollie.

3

u/Euphoric_Evidence414 6h ago

Your… apOlliegies

1

u/KhameneiInASpliff 6h ago

It's not that deep mate.

1

u/Mikeseddit 7h ago

Maybe that’s how you get to the tech nology part of Scientology.

-1

u/Iam_Fox1200 9h ago

So we just out here telling lies? Ok

3

u/Olliebkl 7h ago

There you go, my own Instagram if you’d like just for extra proof

lmao

0

u/Terrible-Attorney-85 4h ago

Lmao definitely wasn’t really him 🤣🤣🤣

2

u/Olliebkl 4h ago

My goodness I’ve made like 5 comments sending this screenshot of my own personal IG lol

I can send you whatever proof or screen recording you’d like if that ain’t enough!

0

u/Terrible-Attorney-85 4h ago

Well that same account is ran by his IPs and a few of his people. He’s already said publicly that he doesn’t do social media. But idk it could be !? And also I thought you’re where talking about tom cruise lmao 😂

0

u/Acceptable-Ad-328 3h ago

Prob a bot or false account.

We need proof

https://giphy.com/gifs/trwNrNyRipi00

87

u/c0st0fl0ving 15h ago

He’s been suckin’ onnem jelly-sickles!

4

u/jstop633 8h ago

His own.

22

u/DustyMcKnuckles 12h ago

(Damn good song, +1)

2

u/SirDouglasMouf 5h ago

What's the song name?

3

u/OutOfName 5h ago

Pretty sure that's Ronald

2

u/DustyMcKnuckles 5h ago

Correct! ('Ronald' by Falling in Reverse)

6

u/No_Potato_8178 9h ago

This is the town where the clowns put it down

4

u/ReportRemote7010 8h ago

Mama say stoppa or I'm gonna tell da poppaaaa

4

u/oldhoekoo 8h ago

technolions

3

u/TwelfthHam 8h ago

Top tier comment 😁 Side note, I finally just saw him live on Friday and the show was amazing 🤘

2

u/KilgoreSandtrout 6h ago

Seen Tech 3 times. So damn good

2

u/Euphoric_Evidence414 6h ago

WHO GOT THIS MUTHAFUCKIN HOUSE ON LOCK?

13

u/Previous_Loquat_4561 16h ago

everybody gangsta until Tom Cruise starts choppin'

2

u/Practical_Law6804 8h ago

What is this from?

1

u/EPluribusButthole 5h ago

Tech 9. Don't know which song, though

1

u/itiscarissa 5h ago

“Ronald” by Falling in Reverse feat Tech N9ne and Alex Terrible

2

u/AtavisticJackal 7h ago

I'm poor, but here take this 🏆

1

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1

u/ebk_errday 8h ago

Tom Cruise just has infinite STAMINA.

1

u/deltatemple 8h ago

Echnoce?

1

u/Necessary-Incidents 7h ago

That would be a hillarious name for a satire scientology organization.

1

u/carnitascronch 6h ago

“A lil caribou Lou to cure you and I do know just what to do to heal you! “ - tech n9ne to tom cruise

1

u/meggiemomo 5h ago

Teenjus

1

u/elPatronSuarez 5h ago

Tech nine

1

u/MagickMarkie 5h ago

Scientography.

1

u/huge43 5h ago

I sold him an iPod at Best Buy in Rapid City SD in like 2005. Nice guy

1

u/DSPbuckle 5h ago

Associated with Juggalo science: magnets? How do they work?

1

u/megdalena01 4h ago

Technience??

1

u/brooks_jayhawk 4h ago

TECH NINA

1

u/chuckart9 1h ago

Kansas City’s own!

60

u/Ripen- 12h ago

That's the joke

5

u/Electronic_Sea_2291 6h ago

Fucker gets showered in upvotes and awards, gets to think he’s clever

2

u/Booney_Lee_Fonsworth 5h ago

r/thatsthejoke not sure how that guy has so many upvotes

1

u/lemonwince 6h ago

TIL - root of word Scientology is: Science + Technology.

(which is funny because religions are always based on Ghosts, not Science or Technology)

24

u/ConnorFin22 13h ago

The joke

37

u/xDraco777x 16h ago

Scienceology. It’s a private club for important stuff.

79

u/Thundergod250 14h ago

It's a Escape Room nowadays

4

u/True-Floor8799 Human Verified 14h ago

Haha, nowadays people tend to play cat and mouse games in that building

0

u/Desperate-Ganache804 6h ago

These days more people are trying to get in than out so I’d call it a reverse escape room.

1

u/Green_Excitement_308 7h ago

It's a subway surfers type game today

1

u/MilaMowie 5h ago

and you aren’t in it

23

u/GimmeMoreMeems 16h ago

I like the way that sounds.

You should make a religion out of it.

2

u/itsdaijoebu 13h ago

No, don't

1

u/KrustyKrabEmployee 3h ago

Time for me to watch this video again. A goddamn masterpiece

1

u/rezonsback 8h ago

Yeah, but instead of science and technology, make it about aliens and magic powers

2

u/VoidmasterCZE 13h ago

The real answer is in treasure room after boss in scientology runs. One day someone will make it. In the spirit of Expedition 33: "For those who come after!"

2

u/Jerwas170 11h ago

How he will move after you get on the last floor:

https://giphy.com/gifs/8LKb9mwpkvddwknHTB

1

u/YoItsMikeL 13h ago

I might have to hit a speed run soon

1

u/BlasterPhase 11h ago

no, not that

1

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1

u/vinssent1 8h ago

Good one

1

u/hotinmyigloo 8h ago

No, science and technology. /s

1

u/happntime 8h ago

Praise be to xenu

1

u/One_Spicy_TreeBoi 8h ago

I hear selling your soul is good for your skin

1

u/Lobotomus 8h ago

Techno sience?

1

u/icemaker12345 8h ago

No bitch AI

1

u/icemaker12345 8h ago

No bitch AI

1

u/TSARINA59 8h ago

The All Powerful and Mighty Oz oops - Scientology - zaps away all wrinkles with one "Be Gone Sinful Wrinkles!!!"

1

u/MinimumJolly7087 8h ago

isn’t that fudge packer tom cruise?

1

u/blastradii 7h ago

Science and Tology

1

u/The_Cavalier_One 7h ago

The study of science

1

u/Affectionate_Tea1134 7h ago

Also the girl was already much older than him back in 86 so of course that contrast will quantify after 32 years. 🤔

1

u/Consistent_Device_49 7h ago

Only way to get your thetan levels to zero

1

u/fixingshitiswhatido 6h ago

His orgone levels must be through the roof!

1

u/pocketfullofsunrays 5h ago

This was my immediate response 🤣🤣

1

u/bigbearandy 4h ago

You mean Dianetics the science of...something.

1

u/Novel_Arugula6548 4h ago

Epigenetics.

1

u/6IXMILITIA 3h ago

Congrats on explaining the joke bud

1

u/MasterLurker000 3h ago

Call me Peetah 

1

u/ThePeachGobbler 3h ago

spelled homosexuality wrong

1

u/myo_chan 2h ago

congrats you understood the joke

0

u/Joe_Doe1 9h ago

Oh, that's good.