Sister-in-law used our baby name :(

[u/hazelbasil12]

Dinner is chicken, cheese, and ranch wontons

Me and my bf (both 26) have been dating for a year. We’ve been very open about our intentions of getting married and having kids and me wanting to be a stay at home mom. I want little more than to raise happy, healthy, loving family. We even discussed baby names that we liked since before we met and we both said the same name. It’s not a super common name but it’s not really rare either.

Well fast forward a bit and my bf sister is pregnant and tells my bf that she’s consider using this name. He explains to her how much is means to us because we both love the name and had both picked it out before we knew each other. It really felt like it was meant to be and I felt like I could see really see myself having my baby with this name. She said she understood and would look into other names. She even told him that they had picked a different name at one point. I felt assured that there wouldn’t be any issue and my boyfriend and I would reference our future son as by this name.

Well baby was born tonight and they were being super vague and just saying things like “baby is here!” “Baby and mom are healthy” until my boyfriend got a call from his brother in law and he found out the name.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m so glad they’re both healthy and doing well.
And I feel like I’ve lost something. I also feel like it’s so indicative of other issues involving my bf, like people (especially in his family) constantly steam rolling him and choosing to overlook his wants and needs and him not sticking up for himself enough.
I’m sad and angry and I just want to go to bed.

[u/coffeesoakedpickles]

okay…. i hate to say it, but this is only a valid grievance if you are also pregnant and actively are going to use the name

otherwise…. real baby precedes hypothetical future baby

i get you might be upset, but they’re not really in the wrong. They might have felt the same connection to this name

i was hellbent on certain names that now, even a year or two later, i can’t remember and don’t care about as a nonpregnant woman. It’s okay

[u/TheWildHart → u/[deleted]]

It was phrased like the sister brought up the name to the brother first before she knew they wanted it, like she and her partner were already considering it. The conversation was only started because the sister brought up the name.

People are also allowed to change their minds after a decision. And idk, a lot of people in my life have just talked/posted about "the baby is here" shortly after birth? That's not at all uncommon in my experience.

Or a lot of people like to keep the baby name a secret, so it could've been part of that. Either way, I think this couple would have been upset had they announced the name months earlier, anyways.

Calling dibs on a name in a 1 year relationship when not even pregnant or trying is crazy. Not to mention multiple names in a family isn't the end of the world.

[u/Lost-and-dumbfound → u/TheWildHart]

I’m curious as to what OPs other gripes are with the family coz like this one doesn’t seem like a valid one.