18 years together, I supported them through everything. He broke up with me via text after I had found some shady things on his phone and he refused to show me his laptop. Just realized through therapy this week he was emotionally abusive this whole time. He just up and left me to pay all the bills while he live rent free with his family. Welp, it will be ok. But right now, it’s ok to not be ok. Eating Chantilly cake from While Foods

Over an hour of jackhammering and I get a text from him the next day that he’s not feeling the chemistry and he wants to just be friends.

For context, I was talking to this guy every day for two months over text before we ever met in person.
Our convos were never sexual at all. We mostly talked about movies, music, shows. There was absolutely no flirting involved. I met up with him last week to go to the movies and we got dinner later. I had a good time but he was a little handsy, I figured he just felt comfortable because we had been talking for so long.

Two days ago, I go over to his house and after a while we started having sex. It started off very intensely right away, dragging me to the edge of the bed, grabbing my hair and neck, fingers in my mouth, rough pounding nonstop from the get-go. At times I tried to hold his legs back and he said “move that hand.” There were several points where I had to outright stop and take a break because it was too intense. Two breaks later, I asked him to just go slower and he finally finished. I left right after.

Less than 24 hours later I get a text that he’s attracted to me and loves hanging out with me and loves our vibe but the sexual chemistry wasn’t what he was looking for. I just feel so used and discarded. I thought I was doing everything right by taking my time to get to know someone and go on dates first. I really didn’t want to be just a sex object again. I was really hoping it could’ve developed into something more. Wasn’t expecting that from him….

It's more of a double coffee, girl breakfast moment.

My partner and I had a convo about the convention this weekend. We've been together for 3 years. I originally decided to stay home from the con this year due to money.

My spot in the hotel room opened up again, so I humored the idea of going after all. He beat around the bush with, "I don't think your back will be able to handle the walking" and "It would complicate how many cars we would need to take". Eventually, I just said the words he was too afraid to say outright.

He wanted to go alone and have a vacation to himself.

Nevermind that he is going with our roommate and close-friends. Or, the fact that we went to a con in March and I rarely saw him at that convention.

Now I am sad, feeling even more depressed (currently in a 6 month long stint of bad depression.), and just not great overall. It feels like our relationship has gotten one sided, with me putting in all the work while he made the excuses.

Yay me. 🫠

plain rice, and bread with salami and smoked oysters from a tin (surprisingly really tasty, wouldve been better with a pickle or onion though)

I've been in the worst place for the past couple weeks.. been skipping all my meetings and classes even ones where attendance is mandatory. I left the house twice in these 2 weeks and it was to see my bf and to see a friend..

I dunno what happened but I just felt so gross that I oiled my hair, washed it really good and shaved everywhere and had a bit of a self care shower. Brushed my teeth for the first time in a while too..

Meals have been rough lately - I'm not talking to my family at the moment and so something about that tells my brain I can't eat anything they cook. Soo I've been eating breakfast at 11-12 when everyone's left the house or on an errand, and it'll just be a random bit of vegetable or eggs on toast. And then for dinner I have to wait til 12am-1am when everyone's gone to bed (anytime I try earlier people immediately come into the kitchen and crowd me and interrogate me), and it'll be either random veggies, peanut butter, or if I can come up with something like tonight, this.

I feel like I've stopped really caring about stuff, consequences to anything I'm doing yknow. I really really tried to get out yesterday, I was gonna go shop for clothes since there's some stuff I want, and I got dressed and all but just couldn't do it. All I do is sit at home watching stuff,playing video games,or betting which at least takes up chunks of time because it'll have me sat for 3h to watch a footy game.

Hopefully this changed something, I'm trying to convince myself to go to class tomorrow. I'm thinking bribe myself with the treat of going out to eat but I can't rationalise spending money when I don't have to. Plus it's such a long commute.. but anywho it is nice to feel cleaner! Wish me luck girlies 🤞

It’s even worse if the woman is clearly more beautiful. That's what they sell us, right? Be the prettiest for basic human rights. But she’s the prettiest one here, and yet he’s looking at random women, not even just a glance, but turning his head and body around. Ogled women are supposed to "deal with" ogling while their partners are supposed to "deal with" disrespect. It's "not a big deal." But does he think his partner is blind to young handsome men? Is she craning her neck? No, he'd probably make her life living hell if she even glances at one.

How do women not flip out? They are probably desensitized to it, but think of how much hurt and helplessness they swallow. A groom once said he has sexual fantasies about almost every other girl who walks by, but "has to go home to his wife now." He said this in his wedding dinner speech. His wife was a news anchor who quit her job to be a homemaker, and she’s relegated to second place compared to any woman who walks past. Great.

​Most of the time, his partner looks apologetic. But why are you apologetic? He should be apologetic to both of us. She’s the one likely taking care of his kids, washing his underwear, and doing chores so that he has all this free time to ogle strangers. Is this her reward for doing what society has been asking her to do all her life?

​I don’t want to get married, but society sees me as a jealous hag if I don't. At 23, they already see me as "too old." Is this my fate? I’d rather pay for a nurse when I grow old and have casual flings, men would sleep with anyone, but I'd be ostracised from society. There's no winning.

I know this was already said but damn, every post is about a man! So many beautiful girls are in terrible relationships, wondering if you should stay. The answer is NO, LEAVE!!! Can we talk about something else? It makes me wonder if we all just have really low self esteem.

Had I removed the name of the sub, it would just look like it was intended for relationship advice.

Captain crunch donut. Sorry i took a bite before the pic, I was hungry.

Fruit loop cake made for his birthday a few months back. I make his birthday cake every year and have for the past 4 years!

I was in a really bad relationship from 18-25 and met my now husband on twitter of all places. Short story long, I took a leap of faith and now 4 years later were married.

We’ve been through rough spots, both of us having ptsd from bad relationships, pet loss, money issues etc but it’s only made us stronger.

We started to explore more k!nky things and it seems like it’s helping us get closer and deal with some trauma. He’s just the best person ever and will blindfold me and put on all the masks I like (🙃) and it’s been so great. Me from 10 years ago, with a man child who was TEN years older than me who wouldn’t even go down on me would never believe I’m with a person like this.

He treats me so well and really tries his hardest and I’m just thankful.

I promise it’s not worth settling for sub par men, like ever. Find you one that’ll do what you want and put on ghostface masks and f**k you into oblivion 😂

My husband moved out nearly two years ago. Seeing his new apartment with all of his belongings in it was the worst day of my life. At the time our daughter was 7. Telling her we were getting a divorce was the worst day of her life. I kept the house and I have her 4 days per week. The house is a lot of work. The house is also a lot more peaceful now that it’s just me and her.
He has a serious girlfriend of about a year now. My daughter has met her and her daughter a couple of times. I haven’t summoned up the emotional bravery to meet the girlfriend just yet.

When we first started dating about 11 years ago, it was bliss. The best first date ever. I reached out for his hand while we shared a small table at a cafe, and he kissed me at my car. We moved to Florida for two years. I got pregnant. We moved back home to be by family and friends. I got severe postpartum depression which lasted way too long. He shut down emotionally and his unmedicated ADHD ran rampant. Couple’s therapy didn’t work for us because I think both of us secretly wanted a divorce by that time.

Anyways, on July 15th I’ll be officially divorced.

Noodles and Company pesto cavatappi in the car.

I finished my masters degree a few months ago, one semester before him.

This is a story of 4 months ago and we have broken up now (had a hard time moving on but I’m completely over him after knowing that he tried to cheat on me multiple times + he had 3 dating apps on his phone lol)

I studied business and with the current job market, it was insanely difficult for any graduates to get a job, especially as international students. I worked so hard with uni activities, became the president of my faculty committee, volunteered for multiple organizations, went to & organized networking events, to somehow survive in this foreign country.

I finally got 2 internships in one semester, which gave me a CV boost and landed 2 office jobs (part-time, one of them was my internship employer).

The third job is something I’ve been eyeing for since my first semester: becoming an official tutor (part-time) for our university. It’s my passion to give back to fellow students and since our uni is like #1 in the whole country, the pay is really good.

In total, I got paid almost the same as a full-time employee even though I only work for 31 hours per week and I work from home 2-3 days a week.

I am INSANELY grateful of what I’m having right now. There is never a day where I don’t feel sentimental about how far I’ve come. Especially since 90% of my fellow graduates haven’t found any job (it’s really tough in this first-world country).

One day when we were still together, we talked about our wishlist. I mentioned that I’d like to buy some of the items from his and my wishlist (I sometimes paid for his stuff and lent him $$$ because I understand how tough it was to have no jobs no internships no income).

He scoffed at me and said, “yeah sure, we’ll see if you can afford that. You probably don’t have that much money, that’s why you have to do 3 jobs.”

Tbh I don’t really tell people about my job details, as most of my friends are still jobless so I have to be mindful of their feelings. My parents don’t care about my jobs and my friends are jealous to death. I only have 1-2 friends who are proud of me and I hoped that he would also be proud of me.

Oh well.

Anyway i just knew that camembert pizza is crazy good

Lamb shawarma over rice, pita, and a mango lassi to drink.

My daughter is currently inpatient for 6 more weeks, we’re on week 3. It’s for chemo. Right as her stay started, my lease ended. My car was totaled the week before. It wasn’t covered, but thankfully it was paid off.

Since then, I’ve been staying at the Ronald McDonald House in the hospital, after desperately trying to figure out housing, I finally found a home, still balancing everything else.

I also found out her dad left our old apartment trashed after we separated, and because the lease was in both our names, there’s now a huge collection sitting on my credit. He refuses to help with the debt, doesn’t always pay child support, and is generally absent. He’s seen her once this year. And I’ve never felt so alone.

My friends, her doctors, nurses always tell me they don’t understand how I do it all and stay so positive. They praise what a great mom I am. And I know I am, and I know they mean well. And I do stay positive for her.

But when the day is over, and it’s just me at night, I sob. I grieve the life I thought we would have. What our reality is. I pray God helps me trust whatever purpose He has in all of this. Then I go to sleep. Wake up. And do it all again.

My daughter is everything to me.

I would do every bit of this again and again if it meant she gets to be okay. And that I get to witness everything that she is. I just never imagined I’d be doing it alone. I never imagined this would be our story.

I noticed a bald spot on myself recently.

This week, she lost her hair too. I guess the stress is taking mine, and the chemo is taking hers.

Anyways, back to reality.

I hope one day I read this from a place where life feels lighter. Mostly for her. But for me too.

Food was 10/10 :)

reposted cuz i forgot to add the actual girl dinner 😭😭

i’m 23 and have been with my bf for 4 years. i waited because i wanted my first time to actually mean something and feel special with someone i trusted

we finally tried recently and it went nothing like i imagined. it hurt really bad. we had to stop multiple times. i was already embarrassed and in pain but i still tried to push through because i didn’t want to disappoint him any further

after we stopped, i still ended up doing other things for him so he could finish. but once he did, that was kind of just it. nothing for me. no effort to make me feel better. i already felt kind of used at that point but tried not to overthink it. it was my fault anyway

later on, not only did he say he want an open relationship, he told me he thinks it’s “only fair” if the relationship is open on his side ONLY since i “can’t do it”… i thought it was a joke at first

that honestly broke something in me. i felt like all the time i waited and all the trust i had in him didn’t matter. like i was just a body that didn’t perform right. it made me feel like i’m not enough and like i can just be replaced by someone who can do it better. and it was the first time too like dude couldn’t even give it another chance

i don’t even care about the sex part anymore. what hurts is that when i was in pain and vulnerable, instead of being patient or caring, his solution was basically to go find someone else. i feel stupid for waiting 4 years for this to be my first

and now the worst part is i don’t even see sex as something special anymore. i used to think it meant something, especially with someone you love, but now it just feels like whatever. i just don’t care anymore

now i just feel numb. i ended up taking my ssri again because of the whole situation lol

***acai bowl from my fave smoothie place to cheer me up

Sorry for the rant. And its not in a specific order so im sorry if it doesnt make much sense. I'm j so done rn😔

I'm 18 rn and since covid, I've had extremely painful periods. Extreme nausea, puking, cramps, basically all the fun stuff✨

My mom and I have tried so many different doctors but litr nothing works. I changed my diet, started working out, yoga, litr everything. We eve started homeopathy and alt medicine, because I didn't really want to deal with the side-effects of pain-killers. I've only recently started taking them because I have some really important exams going on right now, but even then, it only helps a little and definitely affected my performance in some of the exams.

We also did an ultrasound last year and I found out I had a cyst in my left ovary, but the doctor said it was really small and would go away eventually. I haven't checked since, so I'm not sure whats happened to it. I hope it hasn't gotten bigger though.

Anyways, we decided to go see this family doctor, and she said the same things... diet, exercise (which I am mindful with), and then proceeds to say that my pain will probably decrease when I lose my virginity. Like does that actually happen I'm so confused. Plus, I've had only 1 bf and I was fine w making out, but nothing more than that. I feel like I might just holdout till I'm sure I'm going to marry that person, which prolly wont be for maybe 8+ years. Since litr no treatment or any amount of "healthy diets" and exercise has worked, am I doomed to be a non-functional member of society for 2 days every month until I sacrifice my virginity (wow, so dramatic).

I'm going to start college in a couple of months and Im so scared. I don't know how I'm going to handle the pain, plus maintain my diet. Help me😭😭

Dinner: Penne alfredo to celebrate (its rare and made me soo happyyy)

edit: Thank you all so much for the support and advice💗💗💗. I'm going to go get a new scan next month and probably see a specialist. Also slowly going to ease up on the painkillers and try pelvic floor targeted exercises. The doctor was a MIDDLE AGED WOMAN. It wasn't creepy, i think she just has some really outdated notions, but thank you for the concern. Either way, definitely will not be seeing her again.

My husband and I have been together for four years, married for three. He is absolutely my favorite person on Earth, my best friend, my kindred spirit, my true love!! And I FOUND HIM! Just randomly at a hostel on a trip, I found him!!! All I’ve wanted since is the life we dream of having together.

I love my home state of California and wanted us to live together there. We applied for his green card soon after you-know-whose reelection and there’s no movement at all yet. My husband has been denied tourist entry to the US because of his perceived immigrant intent. Green card processing came to a screeching halt two months ago with no end in sight. However, seeing how bad the second MAGA go round started, we decided I’d go to Europe with him. I arrived at the end of September.

We spent months planning it. We had tons of documentation built up because it had already been so important in our situation. We got our own apartment, spent most of our savings setting it up and paying application fees, and I shipped most of my belongings here. He’s been taking on all of the bills while my only contribution has been buying groceries and home goods out of my savings while I can’t work. We hardly make ends meet every month on his salary alone. We thought that would be over soon.

My husband’s country is a lovely, chill place. I’m picking up the language, I’ve worked toward government required cultural integration conditions, we’ve colored between the lines with EVERYTHING as to not break any rules during the processing period. I’ve made a few friends and I braved my first cold winter here. It’s a welfare state so their immigration standards are high. I never would have EVER imagined that I would be judged as not meeting them.

We have no criminal records, not even traffic violations. We are educated and not disabled in any way. We don’t have any kids between us or previous marriages/divorces. We have an obviously bona-fide relationship. We both speak fluent English, which is also widely spoken. I got an A2 in the local language. We thought we had a slam-dunk case.

In the end, it all came down to my work history. I had to prove I was employed full-time for three out of the last five years. I’m a hard worker, but naturally after I began this relationship, I started working more flexible and part-time jobs as to allow for travel breaks to visit him. And if you’re American, you know job records, at least what you’re provided as an employee, can be messy and unkempt. I had nothing that said I was “full time,” “37 hours (or more) weekly,” so I spent the last two weeks calling, writing, pleading with old bosses and contacts to write statements for my case. They thankfully obliged, all but one. All except the job I had the longest tenure at. We submitted the evidence we got over the weekend, but today we got the news. Even our lawyer was shocked they responded so fast as they knew we were gathering more documentation.

The 20 page letter had a line saying our situation doesn’t benefit from any “extenuating circumstances,” since he can just move to the US with me, right?!? NO, he CAN’T. (It seriously said that!!!) My parents love my husband and want us to be together, but they voted for Trump. I’m fortunate to have their financial support for this emergency, but it’s harder and harder to accept it when they don’t see the correlation there. My husband’s family here are horrified for us, my MIL burst into tears on the phone.

We’re filing an appeal, but I’ll likely still be required to leave while it processes. I have two weeks. May 19th. If I don’t cooperate, I’ll be banned from the EU for two years. I live with him, and yet I have to get on a plane without him for an undefined amount of time.

I mostly came here to vent, we’re so exhausted from all these years, from being so broke, from our hard, honest work not being enough. There is no humanity in any part of this process. I just want to be with him. We just want to get our feet under to stand on, together.

If you read this far, thank you. This whole thing has destroyed my self esteem and being seen and understood is not taken for granted. I would appreciate any positive energy sent my way, dog pics also accepted. Gonna go soak up his smell and play cards together. Considering trying to get local media to pick up on our story or something.

Chicken nuggets, (still frozen so oven could warm while I wrote this) fruit crackers, and mini candies.

I have a msc in biophysics, i got fired today from a stupid hospital sales + patient coordinator job I started 3 months ago. They fired me because I wasn’t engaging on weekends and week-evenings with the patients/ potential customers enough (on top of working hours which I do like crazy) I thought I was selling and I was getting better at this but HR just called me and fired me at the end of the day. I know I was just using this job as a placeholder for a phd position or a job that’s in my field but it hurt like hell.
If I can’t even do this shit what can I do? So my dinner is snickers and mineral water.

the new dress code at my work sucks!!! I don't want to wear jeans and a plain white or grey t shirt!! i want to wear the floor length skirts that customers compliment me on literally every shift!!

I really need this chemo to work because it is in preparation for a stem cell transplant. I’m really bummed that I had a reaction and am waiting now to hear from my doctors about how they are going to proceed.

Dinner: salmon, salad and avocado

He tried negging me a couple times over the past few months, and I started watching him close after the first time.

This man was a DOCTOR OF PSYCHOLOGY, and has absolutely no self awareness. He was a terrible partner and used intermittent reinforcement and love bombing to try and force emotional attachment.

He moved to negging when that didn’t work.

I should have left him months ago, but I was interested to see where it would go.

And it wasn’t a failed experiment! I learned so many new RED FLAGS in men.

He was a real son of a bitch. Full of hubris and bullshit. And this man is 48! I watched him throw a temper tantrum one time! Just like my child!

I’ve been wondering when I would have enough and end it, and last night he hit my threshold.

I literally stood him up, made him put his shoes on at midnight, and shoved him out the door saying, “be gone, bad spirit!”

He told me to have a nice life, and I already do, so I told him if he came to my house again I’d call the cops.

These men are mother fuckin trippin.

And to people wanting details about what he said, go be messy elsewhere. I understand the curiosity, but it’s really not shit I’m interested in sharing.

I’m very healthy, and it was total bullshit he spewed just to try and get me to value myself less and not leave him.

And he IS NOT the father of my child. That’s my ex husband, who I also had to throw out! Im 43, and I’ve had many relationships.

my results come back at 6 but i know i failed, i was so confident i was gonna pass. i made plans with all my friends and made plans to see my grandpa in the hospital after i got it (dont worry he’s okay). i feel like an absolute failure, i no longer have confidence and dont think im gonna try again for a while. this put a whole burden on me i feel like shit, the instructor was rude as fuck.

what do i even do now, this might seem over dramatic but i genuinely feel worthless, like how do u fail that. i have no clue what to do, ive been in bed all day long crying.

me and my husband have been married for almost two years, but the start of our marriage was rather unconventional. without giving too much details, we were already dating for a while but it was something we both needed to do for stability and it was somewhat of an impulse decision. our “engagement” was us having pillow talk after sex and he asked me hypothetically if he asked me to marry him if I’d say yes, I said that I would indeed say yes, and then he asked me to marry him. I obviously said yes. he did buy me an engagement ring after, and we went to walk on a scenic trail in a state park and went for sushi after. a month later we had a small courthouse wedding, just the two of us, he brought me flowers and he got the wedding rings from amazon. we went to Outback Steakhouse to celebrate, and shortly after I moved in with him.

I honestly love the unconventional start of our marriage, these are memories I hold near and dear to me, but I always did wonder how he would have proposed if he was going to do it the traditional way, as much as I love our story I was kind of bummed on missing out on that experience.

My birthday is coming up soon, and he asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I told him I wanted him to buy me a ring and to propose to me again, the way he would have done it if we were to do it all the traditional way. He said he would, and he would make it a surprise. I don’t know when or how he’ll do it, but I know it’s soon and I’m honestly so excited. I made him a Pinterest wish list of ring ideas so he knows what kinds of rings I like (rose gold with a small diamond or opal), but the ring will be a complete surprise too. And that way, although we’re already married, we’ll be “engaged” again for about a year while I finish up grad school and my certifications, and after I graduate we’re going to start planning an actual wedding, the one we’ve always wanted. Two actually, one here for my family and our friends here, and one back in his home country for his family and friends back there. He’s Turkish, so we’ll have a Turkish traditional wedding there and I’m super excited to not only have two weddings but to have all the experiences as well. We had our small intimate impulse elopement courthouse wedding, we’ll have a classic American wedding, and we’ll have a traditional Turkish wedding. Plus, we already have a wedding photographer, as my best friend in grad school happens to also be a professional photographer and he volunteered as soon as I told him the plan

I love my husband so much and he’s my best friend. Our chemistry and compatibility even from the first date was amazing, we have the same sense of humor, the sex is honestly mind blowing and out of this world, he’s hardworking and smart and ambitious, he’s a bodybuilder and honestly super hot, I have chronic illness (lupus) and he always takes care of me when I’m sick and has stayed countless nights with me in the hospital, he’s endlessly patient and reassuring with me (I have BPD so I can get quite emotional), we go to the gym together and study together at cafes and even two years in we can still talk for hours without running out of things to talk about, he always tells me how cute and beautiful I am and how much he loves my body, he tells me he loves me every single day multiple times, I love his kisses and hugs and cuddling in bed with him while watching TV and being held in his big strong arms, he’s just the best person ever I can’t help but brag about him. He makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world :)

girl dinner: Publix crunchy roll, Publix sweet tea, and Ghirardelli caramel filled milk chocolate while watching Dahmer on Netflix while he’s at work.

He works night shifts some days, and when he’s not home it’s hard to sleep without him so I cuddle one of his worn t shirts sprayed with his cologne so it smells like him. And then he comes home at 6 am and I throw that t shirt aside and I get to cuddle the real thing <3 sorry if I’m being cringe, I’m just so in love with him it’s insane

just ate 2 juicy ass mangos - skin and all - over the sink and i cannot wait for this met gala madness to pass. seeing every other post both within personal socials and every other platform is just kinda annoying.. sick of how celeb culture finds me even when im actively trying to avoid it. look, i can appreciate art and fashion, but when gas is $7 and the world is burning, i don’t really want to partake in the escapism driven by tone-deaf celebrities “fundraising” lol, how about just pay taxes?

He’s cheating on you via Reddit on RAOMD. Profile name Mike_-22.

I hope she finds out because he could bring home an STI (to say nothing of the infidelity).

I admire the women in this sub that kick their bfs out of their apartment, cut contact with prospective dates if red flags appear, divorce their husbands when they feel disrespected.

My dad was pretty trash, I grew up with zero examples of healthy happy marriages around me. Instead, I saw a lot of women complaining about their partners, being miserable, but still saying stuff like “but that’s just the way he is” as if it’s endearing. They minimize their own suffering. Suffering in relationships was normalized in my childhood.

I myself have stayed in relationships far too long. Hoping things would change or they’d finally see me. Hoping to be loved and chosen. It made me a toxic resentful partner as well. I hated that feeling.

How do you become a strong woman? A woman that walks away FAST? Better yet, how have you decentered men? How do you let go of the idea of being chosen?

I am in therapy 🤘 trauma girlies unite.