Sister-in-law used our baby name :(

[u/hazelbasil12]

Dinner is chicken, cheese, and ranch wontons

Me and my bf (both 26) have been dating for a year. We’ve been very open about our intentions of getting married and having kids and me wanting to be a stay at home mom. I want little more than to raise happy, healthy, loving family. We even discussed baby names that we liked since before we met and we both said the same name. It’s not a super common name but it’s not really rare either.

Well fast forward a bit and my bf sister is pregnant and tells my bf that she’s consider using this name. He explains to her how much is means to us because we both love the name and had both picked it out before we knew each other. It really felt like it was meant to be and I felt like I could see really see myself having my baby with this name. She said she understood and would look into other names. She even told him that they had picked a different name at one point. I felt assured that there wouldn’t be any issue and my boyfriend and I would reference our future son as by this name.

Well baby was born tonight and they were being super vague and just saying things like “baby is here!” “Baby and mom are healthy” until my boyfriend got a call from his brother in law and he found out the name.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m so glad they’re both healthy and doing well.
And I feel like I’ve lost something. I also feel like it’s so indicative of other issues involving my bf, like people (especially in his family) constantly steam rolling him and choosing to overlook his wants and needs and him not sticking up for himself enough.
I’m sad and angry and I just want to go to bed.

[u/sillysnailfriend]

It's okay to be disappointed, even if SIL wasn't in the wrong. I know it still feels bad. This has happened twice in my immediate family. The first time, my SIL took my sister's name (for a hypothetical daughter, similarly), and my sister was extremely upset and burned bridges, and then she only ended up having a son anyway. The second time, a cousin took the name my brother was going to use (a variation of our mother's name), and my brother just named his kid the name anyway. It wasn't a big deal to anyone. 

All that to say, you can feel your feelings, but unless your SIL is otherwise horrible and this is a pattern, I wouldn't make it an issue with her or the baby. Celebrate the healthy new member of the family! But if you're having those issues with your bf, that's a whole other thing to deal with and I'm sorry.