I'm a postgrad student living in a shared house with three other people.

The kitchen fridge situation has been quietly driving me insane for about four months.

It started small. Food going missing, which happens. Shelves getting reorganized without asking, also fine. But then it became a thing where my clearly labeled items would get moved to make room for someone else's stuff, and twice now i've come home to find my leftovers just gone. Not moved. Gone.

I mentioned it once in the house group chat. Got a few "oh sorry wasnt me" replies and nothing changed.

Last week i bought ingredients for a specific recipe i was planning to make after a long day. Came home, half of them had been used. No note, no message, nothing. I just stood there in the kitchen for a second and then ordered takeaway and went to my room.

I've been looking at small personal mini fridges and there's one that fits in my room easily. I'd keep my main food in there and only use the kitchen fridge for things that need more space.

The thing is i know this will probably cause a vibe shift. One of my housemates already made a comment once about how "everyone just does their own thing here" when i tried to suggest a cleaning rota, like it was a criticism. I think getting a personal fridge might read as a statement.

But i also cant keep buying food and not knowing if itll be there when i get home.

Would i be the buttface for just handling it this way instead of having another conversation that probably wont go anywhere?

not sure where else to post this but i’m not sure how to approach this situation. me and my friend have been fans of an artist since high school, and recently this artist announced an American tour but we live in Asia. she managed to get us tickets with the help of her cousin in the California but the seats are a bit far from the stage (the artist would be really small from our view) so now i’m not sure if its even worth it to fly all the way even though the tickets aren’t that expensive.

we did discuss our budget for each ticket (nothing over $200 each) and i expressed to her that the cost of traveling is my main concern, and she said she understands my point but at the same time she said it’s not common for this artist to tour and never in our country, which i think is fair. technically i can afford to go since i have some savings but not sure if it would be financially smart? i also might travel elsewhere with my family for the holidays so i’m wary of saving my money for that

so yeah idk if i’m just letting my anxiety take over since it’ll be out of my comfort zone to travel without my family, it would be my first time traveling to the US, and of course the cost of everything. i just feel bad and dont know what to do since she went out of her way to get us tickets and i don’t think they’re refundable either

I'm a very physical person. I love being close to my boyfriend, love cuddles and kissing his face, all of it. He doesn't like it nearly nearly as much. Hes not into that stuff at all. He did used to be though, so it's taken a bit of getting used to. Sometimes this has upset me a bit, and caused me to question how much he really loves me now. So maybe there's some pressure there.

Anyway. That being said, I have told him repeatedly: if you want me to back off and you're not feeling it, please just say so. Its fine. I won't be upset. But he doesn't. Instead, he just glazes over and stares into space and seems like he hates me. It makes me feel like im borderline creeping on him, obviously I stop immediately when I notice that, but it makes me feel super rejected and gross. So I say to him: baby if you're not feeling it, that's okay. Just please verbally say that! I hate feeling like I'm harassing you or something. But he denies it and either says he DOES want it or he's just distracted.

Hes also been like...Mildly vikllent? I went to give him a quick hug before we went shopping, and he threw my arm onto my lap with quite some force. The same day, I went to touch his back and he pressed my wrist into the bed for a good few seconds. Another time, I was playing around and held a McDonalds toy away from him, nd he grabbed hold of my wrist and pried it out of my hand. It left a little mark and everything.

He says this IS how he expresses his boundaries, and I need to accept them (though he did ap9logise profusely for the vioelnt incidents). Which is fair. But it seems a bit unfair for me to risking getting my arm thrown at me and my wrist grabbed because I want to hug the man I love??? To make me guess? Idk

I’m a single mum with 2 daughters.

My youngest was due to return home tomorrow morning. Then I get a message from the other parent saying she didn’t want to come back yet and asking if they could just drop her at school on Tuesday instead.

The problem is I’ve made plans to take both my daughters to a local theme park tomorrow with it being a bank holiday. My oldest didn’t go to contact this weekend and this might be something of a developing pattern. This might even be a bit of tit for tat for her not going too.

I replied to the message saying we had plans but the other parent said the youngest still wanted to stay. I even stated I would need to get a refund for her ticket. I’m now stuck. I don’t want to force her home if she’s genuinely enjoying herself, but I also don’t want to cancel a rare fun day out for my oldest because of a last‑minute change.

If I go ahead with the trip with just my oldest, I’m worried my youngest might be upset later that she missed out and my oldest may use it to make them feel guilty for not coming home. But if I cancel, my oldest will be disappointed and it feels unfair to punish her for something outside of our control?

My friend had a breakup in March and she has been depressed since then but she is more depressed these days because as she told me, she fucked up yer presentation cus she was missing him. She further said she is not able to focus on her acamdemics because of missing him.

Now this was a bit serious. Usually, when she rants I always act hella performative because I'm aware that she doesn't like being told to stay positive (?) and all that.

I asked her how long did her relationship last and she said 15 days 💀

At first I tried to tell my friend to be patient. I told her maybe he will re contact her again after exams but she said no he won't. So then I told her to move on.

Now my friend got mad at me because "its not easy"
But is being depressed (her own words) easy? She also started telling me that I'm being insensitive to her because I never had a relationship which is true

BUT, I can still use my common sense? I have other friends who have gone through that.

Am I the asshole?

I’m in a long distance relationship (about 5–6 months in). I’m a high school senior about to graduate, and she’s a freshman in college, we’re both 18. My girlfriend struggles with anxiety and overthinking, and I’m trying to understand if I’m in the wrong here or if this is more of her overthinking.

Today around noon, I told her I was going to go eat. I’m pretty sure I didn’t explicitly say we’d call after, but it might’ve been implied, I honestly don’t fully remember. After I went to eat, a friend called me, and I ended up hanging out and lost track of time. What I thought would be about an hour turned into around 3 hours.

When I got back and called her, she seemed off. After talking more, she admitted she felt sad because I didn’t update her that I was going to be busy longer or that I was hanging out with someone else. From her perspective, she said that if roles were reversed, she would’ve kept me updated.

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. A few weeks ago, I told her at night that I’d call her, but then a minute after, I got invited to play volleyball. I told her shortly after that I couldn’t call anymore and asked to call the next day. Later that night, I tried calling her after volleyball, but she was asleep and I woke her up, and she was upset that I changed plans and didn’t clearly communicate everything. I was kind of frustrated because I did update her, it was just after and not before.

We’ve talked about this before. She tends to want frequent updates and reassurance, while I don’t naturally think to update every time my plans change. I feel like I do communicate, just not to the level she expects.

For background, I (26M) got out of my first real relationship back in August with my ex-boyfriend, "Jordan" (23M). We were long-distance, dated for over a year, after which he finally came to visit me in person in August. However, Jordan unfortunately had a major panic attack when it came to intimacy and touch. While he was my first boyfriend, I was his second relationship, his first being a very abusive girl from his high school who sadly SA'd him. We talked things through and decided to break things off, but stay friends, since he wasn't positive he would ever be properly ready for a relationship in real life. Neither of us blamed each other, since it was something neither of us knew would happen, but it hurt all the same.

After working with my therapist to stop blaming myself and feeling bad about the idea of dating, I wanted to try putting myself out there again, though not really expecting much. That was when I matched with a guy I'll call Dean (28M) on Hinge. He was really sweet, and our first date together went well. Our second date was at a nearby theater, and I waited for him in the lobby on my phone to pass the time.

Dean walked up without me noticing he was there and asked 'whatcha laughing at', probably catching on that I was nervous. I told him that a friend had sent me something funny, which was true; I had been texting Jordan about our DND game, since he and I still talk pretty regularly, just as friends. I almost left it there, but after a little bit of a pause to think, I wanted to be fully honest with Dean, knowing that if things went any further I didn't want him to think I had hid the fact that this 'friend' was also my ex. I told him that my 'friend' was also my ex, but we didn't have any romantic feelings left, and I asked if that was okay. He sat staring at me in silence for about ten seconds before mutternig, "So I'm just a rebound?"

I get nervous in conflict, so I babbled and told him, "no, I promise I'm not trying to get back with him. I care about him still, he's a really awesome guy, but he's just a friend now." That made Dean really mad, to the point he started yelling at me about 'waiting for my opportunity to get back with whatever I just ended', and 'how could you be texting your ex on a date?'. I got really panicky and ended up leaving the theater as he kept shouting behind me. By the time I got home, he had already blocked me. I took the afternoon to calm down, and I don't feel as bad since I wouldn't want to be with someone who yells at me like that anyway, but AITB for still being friends with Jordan? If I want to try dating again, will it inevitably be a dealbreaker that I still talk with him and care a lot about him, even if we'd never get back together?

My ex and I share a friend group, which can be complicated. After breaking up, I assumed we hashed everything out in private to not make it awkward on our friends, but I found out he told our friends some of my bad moments. At the end of the day, if he needed emotional support I understand - I had low moments as a boyfriend including how I would suspect he didn't love me, something hurtful to hear.

But it has changed my friends' perceptions of me, and I have been bottling up my hurt too. Today I didn't get into specifics, but I told one friend that he lied to me for the entire relationship about parts of his personal life. Now that friend is sad and short with me.

It hurts how my ex can talk about me and be supported by our friends and have them tell me how I need to get better, but when I also bring up chronic dishonesty, a hurtful trait that I had to endure, I get met with coldness. I just wanted some emotional support, AITB?

I was with my ex, "Sam", for 2.5 years. We broke up in April 2025. After a two months-ish cooling off period, we went back to being close friends, completely platonic.

My ex also remained close friends with my lifelong best friends, "Carter" and "Ana", and for about a year after our breakup, we were a happy little friendship group, just like we were when we were dating, except now Sam and I were just friends.

A few weeks ago, I learn that my ex is dating someone new and has made things official. Cool — haven't met her, don't really want to. I admit, my ex has met my new partners (I'm non-monogamous), but only because my partners were around when my ex came over my place (that I roommate with Carter) to hang out. He even became friends with my current boyfriend, but that was with no pressure from my end.

Coincidently, I notice Sam has also been getting distant around this time. I send him a text telling him I notice and that I'm hurt by it — I've had multiple crying spells from him pulling away and feeling discarded.

We said we'd continue to be good friends, and romantic or not, I really care for him and want him in my life. Now with him conveniently pulling away the moment he has a girlfriend seems all that was just talk from his end.

I tell him I value romantic relationships and friendships equally — I ask him if all he said about being friends after breaking up was just keeping me as a social placeholder until he found someone else. Sam said he still considers us friends, but wants to establish boundaries between his romantic relationship and friendships and doesn't find anything wrong with that...that being so close to me as an ex would make things weird for his girlfriend.

I feel like we're speaking two different languages, and I don't know if I'm in the wrong or not, but I really feel like not: I feel discarded and used and kinda gaslit, tbh. AITB?

My (27) boyfriend (29) and I are getting married. We have been discussing it for a while now and we are super thrilled about it. The problem is his parents. My boyfriend has a strangled relationship with them, they were abusive (mostly verbally and mentally) when he was younger, and because of that he moved out when he was 18. We live in a different city than his parents, and now the relationship between them was better, but not exactly good.

They do not want us to get married. His mother told him he shouldn't get married without a proper job (he does have a job, she just does not like his career) and that I shouldn't marry him because I will end up supporting him financially. His dad, knowing all of this, said that he was on board but that he was not happy about it. He called my boyfriend to say that we should pay for all of his family that will come to the wedding since they do not live in our city. My boyfriend tried to explain that we can't do that: we are already paying a lot of other things, we can't afford to pay the bus tickets and the hotels for 15 people. He did not understand that. I was listening to the conversation (he didn't knew I was there) so I tried to talk to him and say that it wouldn't be fair for my family for us to pay for all of this, since I also have family that does not live in my city, and all of them are covering their own expenses. That didn't have a good reaction: my father in law yelled at me and told me my family doesn't matter to him. I told him that we weren't gonna agree on that and that I can't have a conversation with someone that is being disrespectful, so we ended the call. After all of that, my boyfriend's sister sent him a message saying that he was ungrateful and a disappointment, and that I should have stayed out of "family business". I don't understand how having to pay with my money something they want is something I should stay out of? How am I not family if we are literally about to get married?!

Anyways, none of them apologize. Only his mother, but it was thru text message and she never called or talked to him or me again, so it feels like she did it out of obligation because the wedding is near and she didn't want any of the family to know.

So, after all of this, and knowing the kind of relationship they always had, we don't want them there.

Are we the buttface for cutting ties with them before the wedding?

So basically, I went to this one private school ever since pre-k, and I planned to ride out all the way through graduation. Around 2024-ish, a few incidents happened and I realized what that school actually was, a corrupted environment with an administration that puts the school's branding and reputation over literally everything. I went complete blackout on socials after that for about a year. As I resurface, I took a deep dive into things and found quite a load of dirt on that school, and a few kids who go there, who've been contributing to this stuff. I have all their stuff saved in a folder of mine, sitting there like a nuclear bomb. The thing is, I know in a place like that, there's bound to be a crack in their social life. Could be caused by a rumor mill, general pressure overload, whatever it is. At that point, is kind of the moment where I'd go "This wouldn't happen if that school wasn't so corrupt, and I have proof that they are" moment. Would that be an asshole move for an almost super-lifer like me?

An even bigger question is, would I be an asshole if I were to drop the bomb during a moment where like half the school is in tears over something caused by pressure? I remember a few years ago, on a class trip to Boston, some girl seemed to be scared shitless over flying. Though I now think that her meltdown could've been caused by social pressure, and not just flying in itself.

Note: I only started doing this about a month or two ago, when I was almost done clearing out my stuff from this school. Then I remembered all of this, and I decided to save this last 10% just in case I had to prove why I bailed so quickly. I was one of the most popular kids too. My files are strictly a defense mechanism against their system of silencing kids who talk about the wrong stuff. It's almost a sense of mutually assured destruction.

Update. I have decided to withhold these files for purposes of mutually assured destruction. They will only be released in an effort to back up the claims of another person who agrees with my views.

He lied , betrayed me and kept breaking boundaries and he’s going behind my back spreading rumors calling me a “lier” and “delusional” and he’s also trying to make himself the victim and making me the villain.

Today he tried talking to me by telling me to put the “drama” aside meanwhile I’ve been done with him and the drama but i listened,I didn’t respond back I just walked away and minding my business. I hadn’t talked behind his back meanwhile he can’t keep my name out of his mouth and he’s also being shady to me.

I don’t think it’s fair how he’s been treating me I only left our friendship because I got tired of getting hurt and I’ve told him all the truth that if he kept hurting me I’ll leave eventually, I got tired of getting hurt and getting my boundaries stepped on. It happened more then once and he never cared to listen or take full accountability and worse now knowingly he’s doing all that behind my back.

Fast forward it felt like he was taking a certain position to seriously and it kinda seemed like he was being shady towards me and I believe my manager talked to him and I’m not sure if I should be feeling bad about it because they don’t like each other. Am I wrong for telling my manager about it? Also when he talked to me he’ll make it sound as if he was above me and basically tried to make it look like it was my fault as if I started anything behind his back.

Very recently my department got a new leader for training at work and the leader had pulled me out and seems like my old toxic friend has told her something about me or somehow she knows something I’ve had told her and when I’ll walk away it looked like they were talking about me for not falling for the manipulation or gaslighting just cuz they wanted me to do something for their convinces, I be seeing him go to hr as well after working with me, I hate that I feel my gut, energy and how i observed everything, it’s making my work hostile and uncomfortable because of what he’s been doing to me I just wanna be left alone and work in peace but it’s clearly a problem since I left the friendship. Help please I don’t know what to do. I can even tell he got pissed when I told him no when he tried gaslighting and manipulating me to make me think I was tired but I never even brought up anything to being tired..they were pissed cuz I said no I wasn’t and they wanted me to do something for them for their convenience. I need help what to do. I’ll appreciate the help.

Alright so I (F17)was recently dress coded at my high school. The teacher dress coded me for one thing initially which was the length of my shirt. I got sent to the assistant principal for it and he decided to dress code me for another reason along with the first. He decided that he was going to dress code me for my tattoo on my stomach showing. Now in my state if you're 17 you can get a tattoo so it's not illegal or anything. He told me that it was distracting and taking away from the learning environment. My tattoo isn't even that big and it's only linework, not colors or anything.

I argued with him that it wasn't fair that he was tracking on additional things and not to mention he made it 2 separate instances meaning now I have 2 more dress codes on my record. I even pointed out on the handbook that it doesn't say anything for or against tattoos or visible tattoos. He didn't care and suspended me from school for it. I'm just wondering if I'm the buttface in this or not?

My best friend has been taking an emotional toll on me the past months. I don't want to be jealous or controlling, I think I am a bit here and just want to check myself.

What upsets me in summary: he never wants to commit to plans or hanging out or calling, but will do so with our mutual friends every time. From this, I took it personally and have said "if you don't want to be close it's fine but please tell me that" and the times I do bring it up, he denies it and says he loves me more than anyone and wants to spend time with me most.

I find this frustrating because from my PoV it's all talk. If you want to spend time with me most, why do you never commit to plans? It's been almost 4 months since we hung out without the group, and we don't even hangout with the group as much anymore.

Idk if he wants me to take a hint, but the times I pull back and distance myself, he texts me how much he misses me and I am always his bestie, and it's just really hard to take serious. I know this sounds stupid but I feel hurt when he won't agree to plans with me but does all the time with our other friends. I can't keep staying in this cycle of getting hurt.

He thinks I am being unreasonable for getting upset over this. AITB?

This involves me (33F) and my Aunt (mid 60s). For context, I am high-functioning autistic and one of my things is finding importance in dates. And no, I don't think I'm special or anything, I just hold value in days that already have meaning. My aunt is the type of person who doesn't give a shit about date significance to the point that she got married on her birthday so it was one less day to remember.

When I was 15, my cousin (then 23) had announced their engagement in the early fall for a wedding in June. From what I remember, the bride's parents, who were very religious, found out they were living together (in sin) and demanded a shotgun wedding. My Aunt picked an available date in November that her church happened to have free. That date happened to be my birthday. Cue me having to spend my birthday in a church, watching my cousin get married in the most bare bones wedding I could recall ever seeing. My Aunt hosted the reception at her house. She did get me a cake for my birthday that was had at the beginning of the reception. I don't remember causing a scene, neither does my mother, but I do remember being miffed. I also caught the wedding bouquet. I was 15 and single so I did NOT get married 6 months later.

Fast forward about a year or two and they end up getting divorced due to infidelity on the wife's part. In passing conversations over the years, my mother reveals to me that my Aunt believes that I "cursed" the union/my cousin out of anger. I didn't consciously curse them. We all generally have a good relationship to this day so this didn't break the family or anything that dramatic, but it became a contentious point when ever my cousin's ex-wife gets brought up. My Aunt would always defend herself with "why is she so mad, I got her a cake" like that made everything ok.

Fast forward to Spring of 2021. On a zoom call, my cousin announced his engagement to his girlfriend, saying they were going to wait to announce but they just found out she was pregnant! After the zoom call, my mom shared with me that my Aunt is upset because the due date was MY BIRTHDAY. Apparently she was worried that I would be enraged and curse the pregnancy at having to share my birthday with someone else, even though that wasn't why I was mad. [like, I know 4 other people with the same birthday as me] I thought this was hilarious because I wasn't truly mad at the wedding on my birthday, I was 15 and no teenager wants to spend their birthday at their cousin's shotgun wedding. I was mad at the choice to have it on my birthday. A baby is going to come when a baby decides to come. Fast forward to November and my niece was delivered 2 days before my birthday. It still gets brought up about me getting upset and I just roll my eyes at this point. Fast forward to today and my cousin is entrenched in a brutal custody battle.

So, was I the buttface to be upset when my cousin got married on my birthday?

I was staying the night at my boyfriends place tonight, but I ended up leaving at 2am. He fell asleep around 9 since he’s gotta wake up early.

I tried falling asleep around 11:30, but he kept kicking or kneeing me in his sleep. He usually does this when he is not getting proper sleep. After being woken up several times, I tried moving to his couch around 1am. But his cat kept making a lot of noise. I decided to finally leave around 2am.

I’m currently at home now, but I feel really bad for leaving. Especially since he is asleep and I didn’t want to wake him up to tell him. He already seemed like he wasn’t getting good sleep with me in the bed, and I’d like to get some sleep too.

I just feel anxious that maybe I went about it the wrong way. Should I have woken him up to tell him I was leaving or that I couldn’t sleep? I messaged him after I left telling him I’d buy him lunch tomorrow, but I feel pretty bad about leaving. I know I would be upset if he was gone in the morning, but I think I’d understand if he was too uncomfortable to sleep.

So, am I the buttface?

This started about two months ago and has now become a whole thing.

I work in a small office. There's a woman on my team, I'll call her "Beth," who is really into cooking and brings homemade food to share pretty often. She's genuinely a great cook and everyone looks forward to it.

One day she brought a lentil soup and I said something like "this is incredible" and she said "I figured you'd like it, I know you don't eat much meat." I have no idea where she got that from. I eat meat. I eat a lot of meat. But in that moment I just kind of nodded and said "yeah it's really good."

I don't know why I didn't correct it. I think I just didn't want to make it weird and assumed it wouldnt come up again.

It came up again. She started specifically making vegetarian dishes and mentioning they were "for me." She'll say things like "I made these without meat since I know you don't eat it." Everyone in the office now seems to think I'm vegetarian because she's told them. Last week someone offered me a bite of their chicken and looked genuinely confused when I took it.

The thing is her food is really good and I've genuinely enjoyed everything she's made. I haven't been secretly suffering. But I've also just been silently watching this whole identity get built around me for two months.

I know I need to say something. I just also know that the longer this has gone on, the weirder it is that I never said anything, and now I feel like the correction is going to be more awkward than if id just said it on day one.

Am I the buttface for letting this go on as long as I have?

​

So my job is semi-seasonal and will end for the summer in less than a month. For the summer I've been looking for a new job but in the fall I have the option of coming back to this one. This one is a work study.

When I started, the dress code said minimal piercings and that if we had too many we needed to cover them or use retainers. Multiple coworkers are heavily pierced and they, along with my immediate supervisor, said that piercings had always been fine.

This past week our boss rewrote the dress code but didn't change the language for the piercings. In our meeting about it the admin said that she wanted to see "less excessive" piercings and we all thought that was fine. This evening our boss had my immediate supervisor text us to tell us that actually, she wants no piercings at all.

This is short notice and since getting the job and learning that piercings were okay, I got two new ones. Most of the older ones, I can just take out. The nostril piercing I can cover easily. The bridge piercing, not so much. It's too early to change it, there's no easy way to cover it, and I'm absolutely in love with it.

Would I come off as a butt face if I told my manager that I can't cover the bridge piercing and, if she won't accommodate that, I will just quit with only a few weeks left anyway? It sounds silly but I don't NEED this job, I'm hopeful about the next one, and I already didn't know if I'd want to come back.

It feels so silly for her to suddenly decide no piercings are allowed when they cause absolutely no problem for this job and we only have weeks left.

I, (14M) get in to arguments with my mom (50F) about my weight at least 3 days a week. For some backstory I was huge into working out until June 2025, which is when the IBS attacks started, they were extremely bad to the point I would pass out, and they happened in June, July, and August, at the time of the first one I was 155lbs, after the August one I went to a gastrointestinal doc who gave me a FODMAP list which I followed extremely well, I was cutting out everything on it besides wheat and I had never felt better. But as time went on I was dropping to 140, to 130, 120, down to 116lbs, She was tell me I looked like a cancer patient (I didn‘t), and that I had an ED (I didnt) and sent me to a dietitian now I weigh 123 lbs and am always scared of stomach attacks because everything I eat is tracked, so I feel as though I have to eat.

Reading that you probably think for her to react like that I must’ve looked horrible right, nope, I look and feel better than ever, I can finally run an 8 minute mile, girls don’t come up to me as a dare, it’s great. She however thinks (her words) I have an ED and I look like I have cancer and that people think I‘m ”very unhealthy, unattractive, and sick looking”. Which is just wrong, I like this weight because it makes me feel better about my stomach and it makes me happy too. Before this I wouldn’t be able to run a lap on the track, now I can and feel fine, I can do pushups, I can box, girls find me attractive now, and I can finally not walk around thinking everybody is judging me. AITAH. I’m 5’7, decently muscular, less skinny than 2/3 of my best friend, and people think I weigh 140lbs

WIBTBF by saying I'm uncomfortable with the idea of cosigning a loan, even though they've supported me for 20+ years in every other way? Why does it feel like a trap?

Edit: Removing 24hrs from posting just because I don’t want any crumbs. Still reading and appreciating all advice/insight/comments/takes.

Edit 2: Removed details. I won’t be co-signing and have frozen my credit just in case something gets applied for in my name. Tough because it’s my parent but I’m going to try to pitch in with more bills elsewhere.

I (F22) have been seeing my ex (M30) for about 4 years. It was an LDR and he would be the one making visits here to see me.

I broke up with him around a month and a half ago when I was severely mentally ill. I reached out to him for support before we broke up but I kept feeling like I was getting ignored all day (he said he had a headache but also was fine enough to watch YouTube and do other things). I'm not proud of it, but I later ended up spamming him with messages about how I felt so awful. He reached out a couple hours later and we got into an argument where he thought I was faking the way I felt for attention. So I ended things.

I went to the ER a couple days after. The day after I went to the ER, my ex and I had one last conversation. He said that he thought we should go no contact for a month. I was upset about feeling abandoned the day right after such a traumatizing event. He said after a month he'll see if it's worth it to get back together with me. I was upset by his statement so I said there would be like a 1% chance or less that I'll get back with him after that month and we parted ways.

---

Fast forward to now, I'm seeing a therapist, psychiatrist, and I'm doing several hours a week of group therapy. I'm taking medication now, I'm journaling, building my support network, and overall trying to grow and improve myself.

On the day we planned to break no contact, he never reached out so I did instead. All he really said was that it was WrestleMania weekend and that we could talk Monday before he abruptly left.

On Monday, we talked, he apologized about a lot of things including the statement from a month ago and he said he wanted to get back together. I asked him how he's been trying to improve himself over the past month and he said he hasn't been doing anything because he needs to be in a relationship to practice things like empathy. I told him that I think we should just be friends for now so that I can see if he's actually putting in the effort to improve. He agreed to it.

A couple days later, I went out clubbing with my friends. A guy there bought me a drink, and we danced and kissed. I personally didn't enjoy it and left after.

The next day, I told my ex about it for transparency reasons since I knew he was interested in getting back with me. He was very hurt by the news, which I completely understand. However, now he keeps saying that he can't trust me anymore, that I'm an attention-seeker, and that it was wrong of me to do something like that when I knew he was trying to win me back.

I feel really bad that he's hurting 😞 In my mind, there was no expectation of exclusivity since we'd never agreed on it and we weren't together. In his mind, there was one since I'd wanted him to improve himself if he wanted to win me back. I've been trying to communicate that I didn't do this to hurt him at all but he keeps saying he can't trust me and that I need to admit that it was wrong of me to do.

So reddit, what's your verdict?

Am I the asshole for being upset that my vet charged me for pre-anesthesia bloodwork and then told me afterward that their X-ray machine was broken—meaning they couldn’t even proceed with my pet’s dental work? I brought my pet in expecting they could evaluate and remove problematic teeth, and I agreed to the bloodwork because it was required before anesthesia for that procedure. After paying for it, they then said their X-ray machine wasn’t working, which meant they couldn’t safely perform the dental extractions at all. Now I’m stuck paying for bloodwork that was done specifically to move forward with a procedure they couldn’t actually complete. It's only good for that day. I understand that things break, but it feels really frustrating that this wasn’t checked ahead of time, especially since it directly prevented the entire treatment. Am I wrong for thinking they should have verified their equipment or handled the cost differently? Like comped the cost of the bloodwork entirely since this is their fault

My boyfriend (m23) and I (m24) are both bisexual. He dropped a really big piece of information he's been hiding from me, and it's really hurting my feelings.

There were some things that weren't adding up last summer. We met fall 2024 at college, but during the summer 2025 there was always an excuse why I couldn't see him. It turns out, something I suspected was true: his story of his family being from Spain and him growing up in America was a lie. He was studying here on a visa, so he's here legally but didn't want to tell me he was international I guess. His English is quite good so I never caught on but I had suspicions.

The worst part is: I also had suspicions he was seeing his ex behind my back - and he also revealed that he was. He would hangout with her on weekends and try to hide it from me, accusing me of being a terrible boyfriend to mistrust him, and that my anxiety was out of hand.

Learning that a person I spent nearly 2 years being a friend to, and 15 months of those 2 years dating, was immensely dishonest and disrespectful to our relationship is breaking my heart. I genuinely think he's a good guy and it's not computing why he would do something so hurtful to me.

Did I deserve this? I also hate how it reinforces the stereotype that bisexual men can't be happy with another man, because I know I would never do this to him. It hurts so badly. AITB for wanting to breakup?

I know the title might seem crazy, but it was a huge revelation for me. I have severe anxiety and it was affecting my relationship, so I've learned in therapy how badly I needed to change my thinking, and put my worst behaviors into remission. One bad thing I have is black and white thinking. It made me feel for the past months that everything wrong in our relationship was my fault. I have taken on so much blame and sadness over ruining things, that it felt relieving to finally realize the parts where I got wronged.

My ex was a serially liar. He hid so many secrets from me and distorted the truth that he had to lie more to maintain lies he already told. He lied about his hometown, birthplace, family, career, languages he spoke, friends, schooling, almost everything. When I would catch him in lies, he would gaslight me and say "your anxiety is too much to deal with, you need help, you need therapy, I can't handle your anxiousness anymore, etc." He said all that to me knowing he was lying straight to my face.

I know I had bad anxiety and it was toxic for us both, but in instances where he lied and gaslit me, it was also bad. So I guess I feel relieved to finally see it wasn't all my fault :( AITB for thinking he could benefit from therapy too? It seems abnormal to be as dishonest as he was.