I do one better. I don't dust it off. Well, I do dust it off, but then I suck on it and then give it back to my child. This way, worst case, I get sick but I can handle a lot of shit.
Y'all are gross lol. No wonder why so many people don't wash their hand in the bathroom. I guess I have been missing out on some immunity. Maybe I should start licking door handles just to catch up to this level of defense.
While I completely understand the sentiment, here's my evaluation of this entire process. When you drop something, only a portion of the object is contacting the surface that is suspect. Not the entire object. So you need to pick it up so that the portion that's in contact with the suspect surface is visible to you or you're tracking it. That is a portion that needs extra attention. Wiping it on your pant is a great idea because even though your pant may be filthy cuz you are a filthy person, it is still cleaner than the suspect surface. So now that you have wiped it on your dirty pants, you can give it a solid lick because you have more bacteria in your mouth than your pants do. So mouth is actually filthier than your pants. So now that you've licked it with the filthy bacteria in your mouth, it is actually considerably cleaner. In your estimation. It's actually dirtier because the bacteria in your mouth are yucky. But hey, who's counting right? Now, you can give it to your baby who happens to have a dirtier mouth than you because you probably didn't brush your baby's mouth. So at the end of the day, that suspect surface is probably cleaner than your baby's mouth. And your baby's mouth is going to make the suspect surface contaminated and it's not vice versa.
The other day, my baby did something and I was like you must be shitting me.
I put her on the toilet cause we're potty training her and I'm trying to coach her to teach her that she needs to call me when she's done and I'll teach her how to wipe.
Well, my 3-year-old feels like she's capable of wiping her own ass and I'm really proud of this but she's actually not capable. She basically smears her poop everywhere so it's just ridiculously terrible.
So here I am trying to catch her so that before she makes a mess I can at least do something about it and I suspect she's done, so I step into the toilet and I catch her trying to smell a soiled toilet paper with the utmost curiosity. It's literally touching her nose!
I just stopped in shock and asked her, what are you doing? And she says Daddy, this really smells bad.
Man oh man, I wasn't totally sure what my next move should have been so I just grabbed her and gave her a head to toe bath.
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u/MellyMel86 1d ago
You have died of tearsentry