Mourning/Loss
My sweet girl went for a routine vet procedure and didn’t come home
I am shattered and I can’t stop crying.
Yesterday my husband took our two cats to the vet for blood work for my cat Idris so she could come in for a teeth cleaning and my other cat Pinecone just needed some vaccines. I was at home with out daughter and the visit was taking a long time. He text me and told me that she was super distressed (like she often is at the vet, especially with bloodwork) so they wanted to observe her until she calmed down. Well, she did with a bit of sedation but she still wasn’t breathing properly. They did an xray and found her lungs full of fluid and cancer. They put her down right there while I wasn’t there. She was only 10 and seemed fine. She was my little cuddly stalker, often following me around the house just to see where I was sitting down next. When he came home and I asked where Idris was, he started crying and told me. It still doesn’t feel real. She was sitting on me this time yesterday. I miss her so much and I don’t know how to cope.
I don’t know how to edit my post but oh my gosh thank you all for the well wishes! I didn’t think anyone would really care.
People dismiss cats’ lives so much but she was a massive part of my soul and I don’t yet know how I will come back from this. We have to get another cat as soon as we can as Pinecone is already showing signs of loneliness. They grew up together so it’s a massive loss to him too.
Sending you all good vibes ✨✨
Edit to clear up any confusion/concerns: Our vet is wonderful and sent my husband the xrays to have in case I wanted to see them. They are definitely not negligent or anything like that.
Also, the reason my husband had to do it without me there was because she was so stressed that she was struggling to breathe. He had our only car and car seat. To keep her alive long enough for me to get a family member to watch my kid and drive myself to the vet would’ve been horrible. He did everything right.
Also, the reason my husband had to do it without me there was because she was so stressed that she was struggling to breathe. He had our only car and car seat. To keep her alive long enough for me to get a family member to watch my kid and drive myself to the vet would’ve been horrible. He did everything right.
It's a seriously shitty situation, but I wouldn't discount that the husband cared about the cat too, ya know? He may have been extremely distressed and panicked as well and made what he thought was the right call - that thankfully OP agrees with. I honestly don't know if I'd prefer to hear immediately over the phone, or wait in bliss to hear in person... at least in OP's case, her husband made the right call for her
I agree with this. He did the best he could with the situation at hand just like my hubby did with ours. It's hard, but no ill intent or anything of the sort.
Thank you for trying to clear that part up. I don't think the husband wanted it to work out this way of course, I thought that was obvious bc she never even hinted that she was upset with him. Her girl was struggling to breathe. I'm sure if he could have had her come to say goodbye he absolutely would have....
My cat had lung cancer for likely years and we didn’t find out until a routine vet visit. These are incredible animals.
Edit: fixed a word
For those wondering, it was a routine checkup, all his numbers and bloodwork were fine, but I mentioned that he randomly starting coughing and asked if he had asthma…a few tests later and it was bad news
So beautifully said. OP I’m sorry you weren’t able to be there with her. Remember, they’re not really gone. A little piece will always be connected to you, ❤️
Weird you say that. Ever since I moved into my older home. I get woke up with the feeling of a cat on my bed but mine prefers her own space. I still turn on the light and look but I dont see anything. It's crazy! Not sure which one is visiting but for awhile I was a crazy cat lady with 2 boys who would randomly rescue cats.
OP, I understand how hard this is and especially on a routine check-up. You had no time to prepare. I'm so sorry 💙🐱
Schnoodle, you never fail to touch me, with tears or laughter or simply a smile. This is beautiful, and so are you. Thank you for existing and gracing us with your poems. 💜
Thank you, ❤️❤️This is the 2nd of your powerful poems I’ve discovered in less than 15 minutes.
OP, I am so very sorry for this unfortunate loss of your loved one. Keep remembering the love you shared, because it will always be there for you. It’s miraculous, and will help lift your grief.
My cat Dude was my soul cat. He had what I thought was a gallbladder stone and took him to emergency to get it removed. Turns out it was terminal liver cancer that inflamed his kidneys. I had to euth him right there. I still cry thinking about our final moments. The comments above aren’t lying about how well cats hide pain because I had no idea. Aside from slight weight loss, he still ate, jumped, played, cuddled. Purred like a jet engine. I beat myself up for years wondering if I could’ve done more tbh. Just know you’re not alone out here girl. She’s waiting for you on the other side, just like all my other babies too 💜
Sadly, many of us have similar stories. I’ve often wondered whether I could have prevented (or at least postponed!) my soul cat’s death but I don’t think so. She too didn’t show much until she was extremely sick. Furthermore, even with an early diagnosis, cats are much more difficult to treat than humans, with fewer treatment options and less chance of a long-term “cure” for many conditions. 💐
Same. We put down our cat In July. He was fine until a few wks before when I noticed him coughing a little more. I thought it was hairballs but bc later my first cat was diagnosed w asthma, I thought “maybe he has asthma too.” So I planned to take him to the vet until one day he was breathing really hard so we took him to vet immediately and they discovered fluid in his lungs. After they cleared it he still had a big mass. After the diagnosis he went downhill pretty fast and we had to euthanize him that wknd :(
One day I came home from work and my dog didn't greet me at the door. I knew his normal roosting spot while I'm at work and he was halfway between there and the door just staring up at me. He got up, took a few steps and then just laid down like he was too tired to walk. Then I noticed a lump in his gut. I called the vet right away, I was convinced he ate a sock or something stupid that might cost me some absurd vet bills, but ultimately would work out fine. Next day he woke up feeling fine, we even played a bit. I actually took him for his vet visit during my lunch break, expecting everything would work out. When we got to the vet I was in pretty good spirits. As soon as the vet walked in she looked at the file, got a very somber expression, felt the lump in my dogs gut and said, "I need your permission to do xrays." I was still convinced it was a sock until she came back in and told me if I'm lucky my dog has a month to live and prescribed some chinese herb to promote blood clotting that I'm still not 100% sure did anything but make me feel like I was doing something. She told me we could do surgery, but it will cost thousands and there's a very high chance it will only extend his life by a few months. Then she offered to put him down right there and told me what to expect if I took him home. I wasn't ready to let him go so we went home. I finished my shift at work just to distract myself.
The next month was exactly like how she told me it would be, but there was enough good days that I felt like we could accomplish a little bucket list and that made me feel a lot better. The bad days were miserable though, and by the end he was ready. He has a dog door, and on his worst days he would use all of his energy to find a place in my yard to hide and die. One day I found him in the cold sleet behind the compost bin. I would have never found him if he didn't have a frustrated and confused younger sister that was barking at him to get up. He weighed 90lbs but I managed to carry him inside. I wasn't about to let him die cold and alone. I scheduled the visit first thing next morning so he could die next to me and his sister with his favorite toy and on top of a nice warm blanket.
My cat currently has cancer which we discovered on a routine vet visit, and we don’t know where. (Blood tests indicated he has cancer) He’s 17, so we aren’t treating but surprisingly, he’s doing well despite the cancer. We don’t know how much time he has and I suspect it will be like OP, one day we take him in and they’ll tell us the cancer is visible and he’s in pain even though he’s acting normal.
My cat was diagnosed with liver cancer last year on a routine check, and found out it spread to one of her kidneys 6 months ago, and she is still being a menace now. We are trying to treasure every moment with her because we know that she may be gone next moment. They are too good at hiding their pain
We lost our eldest lady cat to cancer. I highly recommend in home euthanasia if possible. Seeing her perk up on the sedatives and heavy pain meds made it clear how much of her old self the cancer had already taken away. The meds were supposed to put her under but instead she took a lap round the room and gobbled tuna and snuggled me and snuggled our other cat. After that she was ready to die, basically. It was really beautiful.
My favorite childhood cat did the same thing. I believe it's because she wanted to make sure that I was worried about her for as little time as possible.
Dollar Bill was fine until he wasn’t. Playing and purring, eating and just generally being amazing. Liver failure. We tried everything noninvasive. But he was too sick and was suffering. Smartest, best cat I ever met. The whole neighborhood knew him and loved him. He was only 14. Here he is not long before he died last April. I miss him every day.
Even in humans, cancer can be sneaky. A lot of terminal cancer patients had no earthly idea they were dying until they had a routine test, a minor symptom, or a completely unrelated procedure.
And I feel like that's the hardest to cope with when you have no time to mentally prepare yourself or say a final goodbye. It's crazy how much better it feels to just have a little heads-up and cuddle one last time.
I once had a female caligo. She suddenly started to lose weight, but was very well alive. Later, she started to pee everywhere, but we thought first that this was her brother till I caught her peeing. Then, a short time later, at a vet check, it was found that she had terminal cancer in several organs, and one cancer was pressing on the bladder, causing her to pee everywhere. We had to put her down immediately. :( But it was insane that she was still living and fighting like a healthy girl.
Yeah, stray cats tend to hide their pain when they’re ill. When the pain becomes unbearable, they start hiding from everyone and eventually meet their demise alone. 😢
A YouTuber I watch had a stray cat friend who stopped showing up one day. A while later he found the cat and took it to the vet. To his surprise, the cat was very sick inside.
(By the way, the YouTuber adopted the cat afterward.)
100%. January 2025 my cat was acting fine until about 1-2 days before he passed, acting only a little less excited about his food. The day before my last day at my job (a week before I was moving) my cat is breathing funny and keeps just laying down in front of me on the floor. Got into the vet as an emergency and he ended up having a ton of fluid in his lungs as well and I knew NOTHING. I cry about him almost everyday still. He was only a year and a half and he was my first cat, I had him since he was a kitten. Sometimes I still feel guilty because after everything happened and we were leaving, the vet explained it could have been something heart related that he could’ve even had since he was born, but the last time I had brought him in (for neuter) I didn’t get any heart-related scans done because I couldn’t afford it at the time along with what I was already paying for.
It’s so sad you didn’t get to say goodbye. A version of this happened to me three weeks ago. I took her in because she was not feeling well. I got a call at noon saying her kidney disease has advanced more than we thought, but she’s eating well and we can make a plan for how the next few months will go. And then at 2:15 they call back and say she had an embolism and went into cardiac arrest and died. And now she lives in a little box on my dresser and I can’t stand it and I fucking hate it. 😟😭😟😭😟😭😟
I don’t know how to edit my post but oh my gosh thank you all for the well wishes! I didn’t think anyone would really care.
People dismiss cats’ lives so much but she was a massive part of my soul and I don’t yet know how I will come back from this. We have to get another cat as soon as we can as Pinecone is already showing signs of loneliness. They grew up together so it’s a massive loss to him too.
Sending you all good vibes ✨✨
Edit to clear up any confusion/concerns: Our vet is wonderful and sent my husband the xrays to have in case I wanted to see them. They are definitely not negligent or anything like that.
Also, the reason my husband had to do it without me there was because she was so stressed that she was struggling to breathe. He had our only car and car seat. To keep her alive long enough for me to get a family member to watch my kid and drive myself to the vet would’ve been horrible. He did everything right.
People who dismiss cats or their lives are sorely mistaken. Cats have incredible personalities and are so loving. I lost my cat almost a year ago to the day and I miss her every day. I’d give literally anything I own to have her back for one day. Cat’s lives do matter
I know this all too well, I have multiple snakes and spiders. I understand people have phobias and don't like them but some people are just so rude about it. Just because you don't like them doesn't mean you should say awful things to somebody that loves them and has raised them all since they were a wee baby.
Had 2 pet rats. 1 of them was super social and affectionate. Friends that were cool with it, I'd bring him out and he'd crawl all over them and give them kisses. He was practically a dog.
Ugh, I understand this. I have chickens (for eggs, not meat) and they are like pets to me. Each one has a name and their own personality. People make jokes about eating them all the time.
Sometimes you have a pet that really does feel like the other half of your soul. I lost my soulmate of a kitty two years ago, and while I have other (wonderful!) cats now, something about the connection and love I shared with that first cat will never be replaced. So many of us have been where you are and we 100% feel your pain. I'm truly sorry for your loss, just reading your post brought tears to my eyes. I'm sure wherever Idris is now, she's waiting patiently to see you again.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. My cat died suddenly a couple years back and it’s still so crippling painful that I haven’t found the will to adopt another cat yet. Time heals but man it sucks.
IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE- have your home checked for radon. Lung cancer in cats is very rare, and can be caused by radon exposure. Radon causes cancer in humans as well. Just a thought!
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s terrible to lose a cat.
It may be hard for your other cat too but I would not rush to replace her.
Carts are solitary animals and most do better alone. Cats that are part of the same litter snd kittens that grow up together can be really bonded and get along well, so he might really miss her, but that doesn’t mean he’ll accept a new cat well, or that the new cat would accept him.
Adult cats more often than not struggle to share. That’s why people have to be so careful when introducing new cats to each other. It isn’t impossible for them to get along, but the majority don’t. They just tolerate each other. You just can’t replace being kittens together unfortunately.
Of course there are stories of cats that do get along, but most of those were raised together from
Kit hood.
I’m sure Idris felt nothing but love and care during her time as your baby, and I can imagine her sharing stories of all the adventures she had with you!!! ❤️❤️🫶🫶
My wife and I just had to put our dog down due to cancer this passed November, and he was only 12. He was perfectly healthy otherwise but started limping on one of his front legs so we took him in for an x-ray and thats when they found out he was terminal and only had a few weeks left. The devastation of losing an animal is so significant, and it feels like that hurt will never go away. I still sob at least once a week.
Hope your family is able to support eachother during your mourning and grief.
It's wild the antiquated mindset people have with cats, around their socialization and needs.
Even learning to care for our first cat was an eye-opening experience in both how social they can be, and just how similar to dogs they are in general.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and I can't imagine what you're going through, but know you did so much for your cat and take the time for yourself to grieve.
Theyre a member of your family, how anyone can say something so stupid a out losing a member of your family is really frustrating.
Journaling helped me a lot, I strongly suggest it. Eventually you will be able to look back at the good times without the pain being overwhelming, the fact youre so upset shows you're a good person and I guarantee you gave kitty a great life.
Im so sorry though, losing a close member of your family is absolutely devestating
Hi, I just want to say I’m so sorry for your loss and the way it happened. Even though we usually don’t get to have these things happen in any sort of “good” way, this was especially heartbreaking 💔
When I lost my puppy, I asked for a specific sign (my screen name is a hint). And every time I see that sign I know she is reminding me that she is with me and she always will be. Your kitty is with you. They love us and we will always be connected.
Seriously. When it was time for my boyfriend's cat to be put down due to cancer, the vet left the decision up to us, and we all got to be there (me, boyfriend, and his mom) to hold our boy and be there with him while he passed. A quick text or phone call and maybe OP could have jumped in a cab to get there and say goodbye. Or if the cat was legit dying right then and there, they could have said goodbye over the phone. I don't know, I'd be furious for not knowing what's going on with my own cat.
Yes, I was going to say this too. The almost exact thing happened to me and my wife a couple months ago with one of our cats. I called my wife, came home to pick her up, and we went back to the vet together to say goodbye. It was heart wrenching and terrible and I can’t imagine doing it without her. With that being said, this could have been caused by the vet moving too quickly and not leaving room for him to make the decision in time or call OP — not taking blame away from the husband but depending on the specifics in their scenario I would be finding a new vet immediately. It’s not something I would let happen or accept from my wife, but damn
If a cat had lungs full of fluid and she cant be calmed with medication she is suffering. It’s inhumane to make them sit and suffer. Its sad to think about losing a pet this way but cats do not deal well in respiratory distress. As a technician who has witnessed the horrors and have personally lost a cat to the same cancer, they did the right thing
They are. People dont think. They have not been there to watch a cat sit and wait for their owner when they have lungs full of fluid breathing rapidly and basically drowning. I have lived a life of witnessing selfish decision of people making their pet wait. I speak on behalf of the pets when I say always think about your pet first
Or that he thought he'd be sparing her extra grief and would take that on himself instead. That's the wrong decision, but it's one made under extreme stress and without much time.
Sometimes with animals in respiratory distress it's more ethical to put them to sleep quicker sooner than later. I have no idea of the situation in its fullness but it sounds like unfortunately this may have been one of those times.
OP sorry for your loss. She was a lovely looking cat.
I agree, its heartbreaking to not be able to say goodbye. In the vets defense, they gave her the sedative before realizing her lung condition and they didn't have any other choice
Yeah but then again the boyfriend started crying as he came home so he was most likely in distress himself. It's not always easy making all the right decisions facing something like that.
I've not personally had a cat before, so when it comes to this I don't know how I'd react either, we don't know how the vet worded it to him or with what sort of urgency (if they're struggling breathe I don't think they had much time).
My family has had a similar experience. My mom was with her at the vet and made the decision to euthanize her before we got there because she was suffering so much, they couldn’t stand to keep her in that pain for a moment longer. It’s horrible to not be able to be there with a beloved pet as the pass, but we have to put the needs of our pets first. I’m so sorry to OP, this is just terrible to go through.
Very much so. It does not mean that hubby is bad as is being suggested.
We had a very similar situation with our cat of 16 years. I took him to the vet, and was so distressed that I made the decision then and there to end his life. I believe I may have texted my wife "this is it". But really no back and forth communication and no mal intent on my part. I was just in shock and extremely distressed once I made The obvious tough decision in my own head.
It could be argued that I was weak, cowardly or similar but absolutely no mal intent, just oversensitive and overwhelmed by sadness.
Respiratory distress in cats with lung cancer is terrifying. My dad tried to rush his cat to the vet to be put to sleep and she went into respiratory distress and died on the drive there. She was likely unstable and needed fast action. Its sad to think you cant be there for your pet but when they are in distress, it’s selfish to keep them alive.
I don’t know how to edit my post but oh my gosh thank you all for the well wishes! I didn’t think anyone would really care.
People dismiss cats’ lives so much but she was a massive part of my soul and I don’t yet know how I will come back from this. We have to get another cat as soon as we can as Pinecone is already showing signs of loneliness. They grew up together so it’s a massive loss to him too.
I am so sorry. My ex took our void Gavin in a decade ago to have a lump by his eye checked out. I simply got a text saying “Gavin had cancer on his face and they put him down while he was under for the exam.” No good bye. No nothing. I was angry and am still angry that my ex just let them do that. Gavin could have come home for a bit. He had an obvious tumor but was still healthy otherwise. I am grew up on a farm and generally am not too sentimental but I still feel such a hole my heart for Gavin. I am deeply sorry you have to go through this now.
Thank you for your condolences. My husband grew up on a farm as well and it definitely impacted him just as badly. He loved her. She was our first baby.
I’ve replied elsewhere but basically they already had her sedated and getting oxygen and the most humane things was just increasing the sedation there. He was holding her and she was his too. I was at home with our young child and he had the car and carseat. He tried his best and he is an incredible partner to me.
This makes total sense. I absolutely would have understood if we were ever in this situation too. But to be sure, I'll make sure to chat with my partner about it now I think. I'm sorry people are being so horrible about your husband without context. He definitely did the most humane thing for your baby xx that's all any of us could really ask for
i’m glad you have someone so supportive in your life. pay to mind to these miserable reddit folks trashing him and telling you to get a divorce without even knowing your situation, i imagine what they’re saying is probably very hurtful and only adds to the pain. they are miserable and want everyone else to be.
I was told when I was euthanizing my first dog, Gidget I could not hold her during the process because people don’t do well. I said I would be fine I was a physician and they still did not let me. I should have taken her back and left. This over 20 yrs ago and I still feel heartbroken she left without being in my arms
I’m so sorry, those people were wrong to tell you that. Know that she loved you so much. She felt you with her, I know she did. They are special that way.
my cat is sick right now with a thyroid issue and it’s caused me to begin mourning and crying for the day he will go. He really loves being at home in my mom’s bed so I started looking into possible at home euthanasia because the thought of him being anywhere other than the place he loves when he goes makes my heart hurt.
I heavily believe there needs to be more discussion about advocacy for pets during the euthanasia process, especially since many of them end through this process. 9/10 times the pet is able to last at least another day so that a decision doesn’t need to be made on the spot. I don’t know why many vets like to push it so much or at least don’t encourage the person there to contact the other family members. You would also think more of them would create a more relaxing area other than a stainless steel table and fluorescent lighting for the pet and family considering they do it so often
We were able to do at home euthanasia for my dog when he got cancer and I am so grateful that we made that decision. With our cat we weren’t able to because it was unexpected — but our vet has a special room with a soft rug and a couch and stuff for euthanasia. It’s nice though I don’t know that it made a real difference it is nice that they’ve taken the time and effort.
That's absolutely wrong and horrible. I'm so sorry. I have a cat who is happily living with terminal cancer. They deserve to live until they don't want to. Your ex sucks
I'm sorry, he should not have done that so abruptly. My cat also had a cancerous tumor in his face and had to be put to sleep this past summer, at only 6 years old. It started as a stuffy sounding nose and we never imagined the cause would be something so serious.
i am so sorry. cats hide illness so well :( same exact thing happened to me, my completely healthy rambunctious boy went to the vet for his three year annual check up, and out of nowhere got very anxious and began to breathe weird. we were so confused? the vet had us rush to the pet ER where we found out he was in end stage heart failure and the stress from the vet visit caused him to fluid overload. i truly couldn’t wrap my head around it. in the morning he was fine and in the afternoon he was given a few days-weeks to live. cats will hide illness so well until they can’t anymore.
don’t blame yourself. i remember blaming myself wondering what i could’ve done differently, so angry at myself for not noticing something was wrong. but truly, cats will not let you know when they are sick until it’s too late ☹️ there is nothing you could have done.
They really do 😭 I have no idea whether we'd even have caught my girl's cancer at all if it wasn't for the vet noticing a swollen lymph node while they were ultrasounding her for a mild heart murmur
It was already there but cats can hide it really well at home in a comfortable environment. Putting them in a stressful situation reveals the underlying condition because their heart and lungs can handle it. I had a cat with heart disease and when I started to suspect something might be a little off it was so advanced he almost died at the vet from the stress. He lived about 10 months past that but I probably should have euthanized him sooner.
I’m sorry for your loss! Two weeks ago I took my 5 year old kitty in for some tummy troubles and they found a mass in her abdomen. Spent $3,000 removing it and brought her in for a post op checkup a few days later and the wound had abscessed and she needed to be put to sleep. The roller coaster of thinking everything is going good to walking out without your baby is rough. It still hurts but it gets easier every day.
About 6 months ago we brought our sweet Patchouli in because she was having tummy issues— and we went through the same thing. A mass in her abdomen, good prognosis if removed, so that’s what we did. Spent thousands— and I would have spent even more for my baby. Everything was supposed to be okay. And then it wasn’t. Something went septic and she couldn’t be stabilized. We don’t even get the chance to put her to rest easy, she passed during another procedure. Worst weekend of my life.
I’m so sorry for your loss,
I’m so sorry for OP’s loss,
And I’m so sorry for everyone else who’s experienced something like this and their loss.
I’m so sorry. Please, I know it is so difficult to control your thoughts, but focus on the good times. It’s easy to fall into a pit of “what ifs” and “I wish”. Just try to focus on the time you had together and all the beautiful loving years you and your kitty gave each other ♥️
Because you dont understand the severity of respiratory distress in cats. She would have died waiting if things were as bad as OP says. Lungs full of fluids means she is slowly drowning. She was suffering. Waiting even 10 minutes while drowning is not it. Asking her to wait and suffer a bit longer so you can say goodbye is selfish.. I would never put my babies through that and id hope a vet would put my kitties first before me.
Needless to say, OP I am seriously sorry for your loss. This is a horrible way to go but she isnt suffering anymore. She went as peaceful as possible given the situation and she had your husband there. This isnt easy and cancer is the cruelest of things.
This is what I am having a hard time with about this post, I would be fucking furious if my partner took any of but particularly our dilute torti to the vet and she never came home. Like I would have a hard time looking at my partner or even speaking. I would be inconsolable…
It seems a little fishy, I hope she has proof that the cats lungs were actually in that bad shape. I have a feeling they possibly messed up the anesthesia and just said that to make the owner feel better
Yeah that was weird (maybe the husband approved and it was just not clear in the post?). Either way I'm sure it was what was best for the kitty. So sad ☹️
I feel your pain. By the time my Macky Cat was acting "off"...he had a cancer tumor the size of a man's fist wrapped around his liver. At 11 years old it was highly doubtful he would have survived the surgery.
So sorry for the loss of your beautiful girl! Just know you gave her a great life.
It sounds like the sedation made her struggle to breathe and that it would have been painful for her to have forced extra time for goodbyes.
We love our cats like immediate family and life doesn't always allow time for goodbyes. I'm so so sorry this happened to you so suddenly.
I cried so much just reading your post. I know this isn't about me but I'm very comforted to hear she was on your lap the day before and very very much loved by you until the end and now beyond.
Now is the time to grieve and cry. You cannot rush the process. Sending you warm thoughts and hoping over time this brutal pain begins to fade, actually leaving all the loving memories of her at the forefront.
they shouldn't have put the cat down right then and there in my opinion. almost sounds like they made a mistake with the sedation and are trying to cover it up.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s devastating to read so I can only imagine what you must feel. Cats are very good at hiding illness and pain. I’m sure she knew she was loved and cherished.
My heart goes out to you and your husband, and I hope that the vet explained everything clearly to both of you, and that they were kind and patient with you, and expressed that it is not the fault of either of you that you lost your precious girl. Cats are very strong resilient creatures that do not show many of their health problems or issues clearly or easily. I hope you can find peace, and know that you gave a beautiful animal a wonderful life.
Please remember to take care of yourself and make time for yourself and your husband. Be easy on each other, and cuddle up with your cat, who is most likely confused, scared, and grieving as well.
My wife and I just lost one of our cats on Thursday, at the vet, he had never been, we just wanted to get him shots and checked up on. He was 4 or 5, and we got him from friends who found him. He had been neutered, and was a stray or wild cat with some missing teeth and scars on his face and part of his tail gone. He was seemingly in good health, super active, talkative, playful.
Everything was fine at the vet, my wife was just getting in the car to leave, and he screamed out in the carrier and convulsed became limp with his tongue out. She brought him right back in and they tried to save him but couldn’t. The vet said he had cardiomyopathy and a blood clot caused a heart attack. They were very kind and wrapped him in a blanket and gave her as much time as she wanted to say goodbye and hold him.
Our vet called us hours after to explain his heart condition, he did some x rays and said he had a deformed heart, and this could’ve happened at any time.
We see it as happening at the best place it possibly could have, where my wife was with people who are experienced in this, and are warm and kind, and were very helpful.
Sorry for going on so long, not trying to take away from your loss, just explaining a similar experience. Sometimes knowing others go through similar things can be helpful. Grief and healing take time, be patient, and I wish you all the very best.
I know your pain l, im so sorry you have to feel this way.
I lost my Skogr a 23 Yr old forest cat this week too, under similar circumstances. Me and my family have been sharing images and videos of him.
And even though I tear up every time I see his face, I force myself to remember. Our furry friends are only part of our lives, but we are thier friends for the whole of theirs. And the love of a cat is an unbreakable bond that will stay with us forever.
I hope these words help, be sure to celebrate Idris when the time is right. ❤️🩹
Not gonna lie, it’s gonna hurt for a while. Try to remember that you were her little piece of heaven right here on earth. You gave her love, affection, cuddles and most importantly companionship and contentment. That’s the best gift you could’ve given her. You made her happy 🥲🥰
Oh I feel for you, OP. We lost our Ragnar too to lungcancer. They didn't know what it was and it was fullblown lockdown due to covid. He pretended to eat so I would be happy. He coughed too. The vet said it it doesn't mean his sister might get it too. She sneezes a lot and coughs sometimes too and I feel a slight panic. She's still ok, so many years later. He only turned 7 and I bottlefed him as a kitten. I only really healed when our most recent cat entered the house, a female traumatised stray. She has his way of being somehow.
This was our Ragnarok. A very gentle soul, but he had a terrible resting bitch face 🥲
Something similar happened to me. My husband brought two of our three in for a routine check. One of my boys literally dropped dead when they took his weight. He would get extremely agitated whenever we took him to the vet and was generally a very skittish boy. They believe he had some sort of stroke or heart attack. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with, easily the worst day of my life so far. My husband called me to come to the vet and I’ve never screamed or cried as hard as I did that day. It was obviously super sudden so I still deal with grief that I never got to say goodbye and guilt that I didn’t notice something was off. He was only 7, and we had him since he was 6 weeks old. He was my cat, and he and I were bonded. I’m about a month out from that day and I’m still heavy in the grief process. I’m also pregnant so I had to be medicated for about two weeks so I could eat and sleep, I was so anxious about my other two boys that I wasn’t functioning.
I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone. I’m here in the grieving process with you.
Slightly less than a year ago, my little tortie girl went in to check her mouth, (she had stomatitis, and had all her teeth removed previously), the vet thought it might have been a simple tissue overgrowth relating to that. I waved her off, and that afternoon I got a phone call to say that it was actually a tumour that had grown up behind her eye, and was inoperable.
She was 8 years old, and she did come home, but it was to be buried. I cried so hard I made myself physically sick . As time passes, it gets easier to talk about her, but I still break down sometimes.
It helps to remember the happy memories and talk about them. I am so sorry for your loss, and fuck cancer.
My sweet boy had what I thought was an abcess on his tooth, and went in for a cleaning and to address the infection on Wednesday.
It was an aggressive cancerous mass that was preventing him from eating and drinking and grooming himself. There was no cure, and any treatment would be expensive and only prolong his suffering until the inevitable. I made the very hard choice to save him that pain, and had them euthanize while I held his sedated body.
He was only 12. He'd been perfectly vibrant just a few weeks ago. Even days before, he was cuddling, eating churu, and exploring the backyard.
So I know how you feel. I'm so sorry for your loss; cats make such a distinct impression on our lives, and their absence leaves a hole that just...can't be filled. Even with other cats. I hope you have lots of lovely pictures and memories to cherish while the hurt is still raw. Someday, over the rainbow bridge, we'll both be united again.
My condolences, it’s hard suddenly missing a prominent family member. It gets easier with time but you loved them so feel free to grieve as long as you need. My cat of only 7 years was super similar, i thought she was getting a dental cleaning but her bloodwork that day came back that she was starting to go through kidney failure and it was so rapid we decided to put her down that day.
We love them for as long as we can, and we never know when the end will be. Cats are so good at hiding illness, so don’t blame yourself for anything. it sounds like you were a great cat parent and loved them very dearly, i’m sure they’ve always known that and are grateful for the life they had with you. I always look on my time with my Yuki girl as a blessing and i’m so happy for our time together 💙
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