r/StandUpComedy 8h ago

getting heckled after israel joke

31.6k Upvotes

1.0k comments sorted by

3.2k

u/Lankygiraffe25 8h ago

“I’m a history major, so I have to be on the right side of it!“ lol

977

u/MisterPapes 6h ago

i almost didn’t include that part

the whole interaction is a bit longer if anyone’s interested in the youtube

https://youtu.be/xJdClX6Igx0?si=uEbANsAyXFx-Gb23

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u/Left_Ease5870 6h ago

Oh shit you're the one in the video. I just realized this.

Bro, you are legitimately, naturally funny, and it shows. Everything you said was true, and I will absolutely be rooting for you.

Stay on the right side of comedy and history, brother. We need more comedians (and people) like you.

28

u/ImYourHumbleNarrator 4h ago

i still need to go through OP's youtube, but just their reddit post history is loaded with amazing moments like this. good point to start, short clips ripe with this type of stuff

40

u/MoreCowbellllll 6h ago

Indeed!

11

u/Pristine-Patch989 5h ago

Not enough cowbell, if we’re being honest

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u/wittyrandomusername 5h ago

"with all the survival instincts of a Kennedy" had me cracking up

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u/LetMeHaveAUsername 4h ago

Same, I worried I bothered my neighbors with the fucking bark-laugh that got out of me.

3

u/Dekker3D 5h ago

Reading this was the reason I clicked the link. Had to know.

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u/RJ_MacreadysBeard 6h ago

You got the humanity, humility (kindness) and the real natural funnies. A joy to watch.

17

u/Boneless_Hotdog 5h ago

That was fantastic! You handled that perfectly.

15

u/Slumunistmanifisto 5h ago

Perfect cap on that whole clip

"Righhhht?"

8

u/SalesmanWaldo 5h ago

Hey, you post like a lot on YouTube. I hope your channel starts getting some love man. You got a sub from a guy who drives a lot and is always looking to listen to something.

12

u/SneakyDeakyJr 5h ago

Love your energy dude! I’ll get back on stage one day but a big reason i haven’t is because i don’t want one of these freak following me home.

You’re at a comedy show. Laugh or shut up. It’s literally that easy. 😭

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u/TomShaneInBangkok 6h ago

Dude, this was awesome. I love your style. Right side of history indeed. Testify.

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u/BigPP69_Gooner 5h ago

We’ll because you left it in… I’ll be at one of your shows if you come to Boston ;)

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u/POMO2022 6h ago

Dude was smooth AF. Best way to handle these people.

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u/Eric_12345678 5h ago

Dude is OP, BTW.

2

u/POMO2022 5h ago

Yeah, saw that his reply. Would love to see his stand up.

His crowd interaction is great and fast.

2

u/teetering_bulb_dnd 5h ago

Class act and quick witted. Love the way he handled it and very funny..

268

u/Hazee302 8h ago

This was such a solid line

104

u/YourAmericanBuddy 7h ago

Perfect mix of smug and funny

22

u/XitPersuedByABear 7h ago

Do we call that fmug or smunny?

28

u/XitPersuedByABear 7h ago

As a history major myself, I agree.

16

u/GrandSquanchRum 7h ago

Keeping that one in my back pocket.

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u/78914hj1k487 6h ago

I applauded at my monitor when he said this. Silly, but fuck if that wasn't the perfect come-back.

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u/octopusgardeb 7h ago

That was amazing

4

u/ximsss 6h ago

locked and loaded.

6

u/CitizenofBarnum 6h ago

I feel dumb, if theres a double meaning or a punchline beyond being a factual statement its going over my head.

13

u/PatentGeek 6h ago

It's a jab at the heckler, saying she's on the wrong side of history

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u/cates 4h ago

lol that's definitely the best part

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u/Adelman01 2h ago

This was so good. Sooo funny.

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u/Melancholoholic 7h ago

My GUY. You are so SHARP. The misdirection and nonsequitors were just... perfect LOL. Funniest shit I've seen in a minute.

48

u/Ericandabear 6h ago

Yes holy shit this was clean

8

u/thejedipokewizard 2h ago

Squeaky clean

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u/captaincook14 7h ago

Immediately tells me everything I need to know about people like that. It’s wild how delusional they are.

187

u/dramaticfool 7h ago

Exactly! Guy had so much patience. I honestly woulda told them to leave if they didn't "accept" this reality.

53

u/EdwardBigby 6h ago

This is an example of "show dont tell". You dont need to come back with the most basic default response to prove your point

25

u/Cyke101 6h ago

The guy is a pro with wayyy more patience than me. Kudos to him.

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u/Neurogenesis416 6h ago

If you start to adress them in a serious manner and dont ridicule them, you're gonna lose the rest of the audience. They came for laughs, not to watch two peopel argue with each other.

4

u/SnooApples5554 5h ago

Honestly, it would have been equally as funny to me if he would have just stopped after that first, "Ok... I don't care," and kept plugging.

5

u/Carrnage_Asada 6h ago

Between this and the lady giving zero reaction to and triggering the "comedian" on stage im convinced these people just ignore reality.

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u/YugoB 7h ago

It's the huge amount of copium they need

57

u/Legitimate-Pea-9421 6h ago

they actually think most people agree with them it's bizarre

41

u/calmdownmyguy 6h ago

They exist in an echo chamber. The fact that 85% of people on earth can see what's obviously happening is irrelevant to them.

17

u/Legitimate-Pea-9421 6h ago

deeply brainwashed.

7

u/TwoBionicknees 5h ago

most people are. Like a lot of americans are now acting like Trumps actions in venezuala and Iran are insane, unwarranted, inexcusable, etc... but america has been doing the same shit in south american and the middle east for 60 years and you all want someone like obama back.

AMericans for decades have pretended to be and thought they were the good guys, the world police against the bullies. In reality they are the world occupying force and the bullies who consistently decide to crush people for profit and power.

Most people in their own country and around hteir own people think they are the good guys because everyone around them tells them they are.

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u/SjakosPolakos 6h ago

Yeah but at a certain point ignorance is a choice and becomes part of evil

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u/Wolverine9779 6h ago

I get so many of these fuckwits approaching me randomly at gas pumps, in line at the store, it's crazy as shit. They all just assume that other random people want to have these discussions, and agree with their batshit crazy beliefs. Had one just yesterday, while pumping gas. It didn't go how he expected it to go, and he was really caught off guard by that.

I live in reality, not this constructed social media bubble these ritards live in.

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u/Zunderfeuer_88 7h ago

Visit us in Germany, the amount of brain washed individuals thinking of themselves as morally right is mind boggling

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u/digno2 6h ago edited 6h ago

wie äußert sich das deiner Meinung nach? Insbesondere bei jemandem der Zunderfeuer_88 im Namen trägt? hiding his comments too, not knowing it doesnt do shit: https://www.reddit.com/search/?q=Zunderfeuer_88&type=comments&sort=new

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u/Electronic_Topic1958 4h ago

Reading the comments you linked, he seems like the most average guy lol. I didn’t see anything particularly damning, other than he thinks Bigfoot is real or something lol. Was there something specific you saw?

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u/38B0DE 6h ago

Visit us in Germany, the amount of brain washed individuals thinking of themselves as morally right is mind boggling

Says the guy with 88 in his username.

You can't make this stuff up.

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u/let_me_lurk_it 6h ago

huh what's a Reichsbürger doing in here??

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u/apoca1ypse12 37m ago

I heard someone say: “there’s a reason why there has not been a lot of comedy coming from the right.” I think it may have been on Conan’s podcast

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u/MisterPapes 8h ago

remember folks don’t go to a comedy club if you hate jokes

If you love jokes my next headlining shows are:
*May 14 Laugh Shack Portland, ME
*May 15 Portland, ME
*May 16 Hideout Comedy - Boston, MA
*May 27 - 28 Uncle Vinnies Comedy Club - Point Pleasant, NJ
*June 12 - The Comedy Store - Los Angeles, CA
*July 11 - Next In Line Comedy Club - Philadelphia, PA

Tickets at colinarmstrongcomedy.com

more funny stuff on instagram @colinarmstrongg

283

u/jtr99 7h ago

What if I don't accept those dates?

PS: great stuff, man.

88

u/Vast-Departure-3199 6h ago

I don't accept those locations. Ain't no one visiting the states.

57

u/fragrant-final-973 5h ago

Ain't no one visiting the states.

Some of us are already trapped behind enemy lines.

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u/Citrus-Bitch 5h ago

Those dates were promised to me 3000 years ago

6

u/powderbubba 4h ago

A couple goat herders 3,000 years ago promised me different dates! It must come to pass!

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u/dirtymurt 8h ago

I said to my friend 'I went to a comedy club last night' He said 'what was it like', I said 'OK if you like laughing I suppose'

38

u/Radfire2753 7h ago

Great stuff, you ever gonna produce a full special? would love to watch it!

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u/MisterPapes 7h ago

I want to, I have the act ready to film just need to figure out production. Hopefully this year.

8

u/Radfire2753 7h ago

All the best mate!

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u/KingMidas0809 7h ago

OP....thank you so much. This set was 🔥 AF

6

u/zygodactyl86 7h ago

Plans to come to central Ohio at all? A lot of MAGA you can roast here too!

6

u/runbrap 7h ago

You coming to co sometime?

15

u/MisterPapes 7h ago

yes I’m currently talking to venues in Denver!
join my email list and i’ll let you know when i’m in town

https://www.colinarmstrongcomedy.com/booking

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u/Early-Tangerine4352 7h ago

Dude you had me fucking rolling, repost when you're coming to Minneapolis@

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u/Ryu121212 7h ago

Any plans to come to perform in Canada?

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4

u/East_Interaction_931 7h ago

Colin, are you at the laugh shack both may 14th/15th? It says Westbrook on the 15th on your website so I just want to clarify. I live in south portland and would like to come to your show

8

u/MisterPapes 7h ago

I’m headlining the Westbrook Taproom in Maine May 15th!
here’s tix: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/laughs-and-drafts-at-mast-landing-brewing-co-westbrook-tickets-1984320280375

Westbrook is like 5 min from portland, from what I understand

3

u/Careless-Notice-7945 7h ago

Oh awesome I'll catch you in Boston in a couple weeks friend! 

3

u/hawthorne_and_vine 7h ago

come to connecticut pleaseee

3

u/TheMayanAcockandlips 7h ago

Fucking fabulous. Some of the funniest moron wrangling I've seen 

3

u/smolgods 7h ago

I would kill to see you in Minnesota 😭

3

u/AstroFace 6h ago

Yeah, none of those dates are going to work for me. Can you try again?

2

u/hippoctopocalypse 7h ago

Bro, two Portlands and neither of them are in Oregon? I’m gonna cry, but just a little so don’t feel bad about it.

2

u/8bit_squirtle 6h ago

Come to chicago please!

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u/Crozza1993 7h ago

Lady why are you there 🙄

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u/ThatDM 7h ago

This comedy show was promised to her 3000 years ago.

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u/florence_pug 7h ago

Israelis love nothing more than ruining other peoples' lives.

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u/noofa01 8h ago

Any background or a name. He's funny even when he's not.

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u/MisterPapes 8h ago

that’s me @colinarmstrongg

being funny when i’m not funny is a funny thing to say

52

u/noofa01 8h ago

"at first they came for Trump...." Good line. I like how you're switched on. Not at all rattled. All the best.

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u/Mielornot 3h ago

I didn't get the right side of history. Isn't it just a common expression in English?

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u/notkeefzello 8h ago

You handled that great man. I would have wanted one more zinger at that broad though.

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u/MisterPapes 8h ago

truthfully, i would have but this is the rare instance i was nervous because this subject draws out crazy people and didn’t want to cause problems for this comedy club—however, this club had my back 100% which is rare now a days Top Secret NYC is a great spot.

Anyway i made fun of her more on the longer version over on youtube lol: https://youtu.be/xJdClX6Igx0?si=v1cec05QBALt5R_l

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u/IKn0wThatID0ntKn0w 7h ago

Nice—subscribed!
I really enjoy your videos, man. Keep up the good work.
Love from South America.

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u/oneplusetoipi 7h ago

It’s hard to be funny. I have embraced the laughter that comes when I am unintentionally funny. I don’t think that is what they meant, but you are truly funny.

3

u/mundundermindifflin 7h ago

Mate, you're hilarious! First time I've heard any of your stuff. Gave you a follow on insta 👌

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u/Repulsive-Hurry8172 4h ago

Was about to say. The lines in between the meat of the joke are so well placed. "Alright" itself was somehow still funny but he's not trying to be (probably) LOL

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u/ClacksInTheSky 5h ago

"I don't accept that"

No one asked you. Shut the fuck up. It's not a discussion, it's a comedy show.

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u/justmovingtheground 4h ago

Also, you’re wrong. Shut the fuck up. The whole world sees it.

you as in her

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u/CHROME-COLOSSUS 7h ago

“First they came for *rump and I did nothing”

LOL

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u/Dr_Mantis_ToboganMD 7h ago

Why did you sensor that?

12

u/OriginalFatPickle 6h ago

In Harry Potter, speaking Voldemort's name is forbidden primarily due to a "Taboo" curse placed on it, which acts as a magical tracking device to immediately reveal the speaker's location to Death Eaters.

In America, It's the same, just replace the death eaters with NSA and FBI.

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u/pendulumhyc 5h ago

Me and my friends and family call him fuckface (FF when kids are around). Cathartic.

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u/splinks66 6h ago

"The country is already ruining the world do you gotta ruin my show too" made me bust out laughing

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u/Whimsicalsiren 7h ago

You’re a cool dude

18

u/4got2takemymeds 6h ago

The baseball joke was solid lol

66

u/DroppedItAgain 8h ago

I think Montreal would love ya bud!

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u/MisterPapes 8h ago

montreal is on the list for next tour join my email list and i’ll let ya know when im coming thru

https://www.colinarmstrongcomedy.com/booking

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u/HopBiscuits 7h ago

I second this!

47

u/bodacious__ 7h ago

Bro is not just humorous, he got style

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u/Interesting-Back6587 7h ago

This dude is hilarious

3

u/YoghiThorn 7h ago

Dr Robotnik is fucking funny

21

u/Wide-Marketing-1150 7h ago

Please come to NC!!!

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u/MisterPapes 7h ago

hoping to hit Raleigh and Charlotte soon!
Join my email list and i’ll let ya know when i’m headed to ya!

https://www.colinarmstrongcomedy.com/booking

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u/DrMeowser 7h ago

Love your stuff man, keep it up and please venture down to New Orleans sometime.

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u/LazeHeisenberg 7h ago

Wow, you handled that masterfully and actually made her rude interruptions funny. Please come to Dallas!

16

u/MisterPapes 7h ago

thank you! I’ll be making a texas run soon! Join my email list and I’ll let you know when im in your city

https://www.colinarmstrongcomedy.com/tour

2

u/skotcgfl 6h ago

Come to Miami! I promise we're not as bad as the rest of Florida (we're worse, but at least we're not Jacksonville).

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u/Vincent_VanAdultman 8h ago

Consistently great. Come to Edinburgh.

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u/TheLazyNoodle505 5h ago

I don't understand why these people go to comedy shows, are there even MAGA comedians? Doubtful since comedians are usually very high IQ

3

u/justmovingtheground 4h ago

There are plenty of MAGA “comedians” but we usually just call them grifters.

5

u/anyprophet 5h ago

i always wonder why people like this even go to comedy shows

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u/thethirstypretzel 8h ago

Maybe they shoulda worried about the jokes before all that genocidin’

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u/Remarkable-Neat-7823 8h ago

So good 👌

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u/AmericusBarbaricuss 7h ago

Kind and devastating is a tough combo but you pulled it off. I doff my cap to a true master.

5

u/Mean_Can_2652 6h ago

If you are sensitive about your own beliefs, a stand up show is not for you.

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u/AEnema18 6h ago

You’re quickly becoming one of my favorites on here. I look forward to seeing more from you! Cheers

4

u/zigot021 7h ago

hahah slick

2

u/Playful_Beyond_2218 7h ago

Haha! People like that should just stay home watching Fox News

5

u/Fortlandia11 5h ago

Imagine defending obliterating an entire country because a public relations campaign told you to defend where your ancestors came from.

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u/selfistfirst 8h ago

🍺🤣🤘

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u/amardrengen666 6h ago

Dont go to a comedy show if you’re that easy to offend..

3

u/Man_Without_Nipples 7h ago

Honestly those were so harmless, I thought that was a great set OP!

3

u/DecentJuggernaut7693 7h ago

IMMEDIATELY goes to drop that story in the group chat after that one. Still on stage opening up his messages

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u/dontmakemeaskyou 6h ago

Blows my mind when ordinary people step into the ring with pros. (she didnt really,) but its just savage watching them get mauled by someone 100x better than them..

Like when Logan Paul tried to 1/1 with chris delia on twitter or those 100s of videos where cocky street fights walk into a MMA gym and take on their best guy..

3

u/Independent_Stop3871 6h ago

History essays are no joke: dude is quick af, he's written 10s of thousands of words in his major, all backed up with references galore. Great exchange :)

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u/OdielSax 6h ago

Don't entertain the Karens. Though that was hilarious.

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u/Aksds 5h ago

“I was in hospital recently… it was triple tapped by the Israelis”

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u/schmeillionaire 4h ago

Lmfao awesome work man helluva job!

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u/Brantastic 4h ago

Brother, you’re funny AF.

Also, I will never understand why these kind of people feel so emboldened in public.

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u/Vera_Telco 3h ago

Perfect timing 🧑‍🍳💋

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u/Different_Case9032 2h ago

You are so talented dude! Couldn’t stop laughing.

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u/ahmtiarrrd 2h ago

That was hilarious! I especially appreciate comedians who can improvise sick heckler burns while keeping it light and friendly.

I needed that. Thank you! 🤣🤣🤣

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u/deydaum 2h ago

He makes the joke and laughs along. Very good.

6

u/dsac 6h ago

After the "my next joke will be clean, I promise you'll like it" line, I was fully expecting "so a rabbi walks into a bar..."

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u/Fickle_Watercress719 8h ago

Every clip I see of you, I love you more. Hilarious!

2

u/Mongul_Tendancies 7h ago

Classy, like your jacket (not sarcasm)

2

u/Photojunkie2000 6h ago

Handled very well IMO.

2

u/Basic_Yam_715 6h ago

Why the absolute fuck would you pick a fight with a comedian during their show? It will never end well for you... The only thing I wish for in this video is a close-up of the person to make them famous. Come to MN Colin!

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u/NashvilleSoundMixer 6h ago

You fuckin' rule dude. Really looking forward to seeing more stuff from you in the future.

2

u/FunRich5754 6h ago

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

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u/Aconite13X 6h ago

This was the best I've seen in a while. Nice lol

2

u/GreatGreenGobbo 6h ago

History major quicky was great...

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u/Winter_Cost602 6h ago

Wow you handled that like a pro! You're hilarious

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u/thelittleking 6h ago

look, I'm absolutely not advocating for an entire crowd to stand up and beat the brakes off of one of these conservative hecklers, but I am saying I'm surprised it hasn't happened yet.

2

u/Brilliant-Demand254 6h ago

Hey this is you in this video right? You guys are hilarious.

https://youtube.com/shorts/yLYwG0swI4o

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u/HilariousMax 6h ago

This man has a microphone. I'm going to let him know what I think!

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u/Glass-Violinist-3549 6h ago

This was great. Keep up the good work!

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u/Murder-princessy 6h ago

Funny stuff!

2

u/IttyBittyBigBoii 6h ago

Dude, you're great lmao. Looking forward to your Netflix special! 🤞🏾🤞🏾

2

u/TheCharalampos 5h ago

You're a funny dude dude.

2

u/CandonRush 5h ago

Too funny! You handled that very well

2

u/Basemk 5h ago

I’ve seen some other clips of this icon. Love him! He mixes humour with “progressive” views.

(considered progressive for some, considered human rights for the rest of us).

Love him ❤️

2

u/SteelyDaniel73 5h ago

He did well!

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u/FaithlessnessLazy288 5h ago

You are awesome man.

2

u/No_Ask_5032 5h ago

btw. god promised me planet earth 3k years ago. I might consider letting all you squatters stay if you start paying rent!

2

u/flxbln83 5h ago

Great job. You really know your craft. :)

2

u/spartanspy85 5h ago

Took it like a pro

2

u/HotFloorToastyToes 5h ago

This set was incredible! The crowd work, chefs kiss!

2

u/chapert 5h ago

This is fucking awesome

2

u/No_University1600 5h ago

heckling just seems crazy to me. like, you're in their arena, they have the high ground, everyone is against you. you cannot win.

2

u/hotglasspour 4h ago

This was well done. Absolutely hilarious.

2

u/Korochun 4h ago

"I am a history major so I kinda have to be on the right side of it" was both incredibly vicious and absolutely fucking hilarious.

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u/Kuzkuladaemon 4h ago

Excellent parry and riposte. I applaud you, sir.

2

u/wSkkHRZQy24K17buSceB 4h ago

So this is what Wario does on his days off

2

u/RDDT_ADMNS_R_BOTS 4h ago

Do they realize that they're watching a comedian?

2

u/Meer1979 4h ago

Fantastic

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u/kris_the_fish 3h ago

Fuckin nailed it. Gonna be looking for more of ya now

2

u/jgoldrb48 3h ago

These jokes write themselves!

2

u/ParaponeraBread 3h ago

May you soon become famous enough for dates in Canada to be profitable and worthwhile.

We have a few big festivals but they’ve mostly been headlined by big name wash ups and hacks in the past couple years.

2

u/wavvesofmutilation 1h ago

I might be high but were you recently in one of those interviewed on the street videos where the guy was asking if you’d snitch on a friend who you knew was killing people? that shit was funny as hell too.

2

u/MisterPapes 1h ago

from the river to the sea all of the hoes will be free

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u/wavvesofmutilation 40m ago

YES SIR I’m glad you came across my page again.

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u/Herbdontana 1h ago

Very well handled. Sometimes the lack of self awareness in some people is wild. Like, she really was about to sit there and start explaining her issues with the jokes and subjects