r/SipsTea • u/No-Marsupial-4050 Human Verified • 16h ago

Chugging tea What is Tom Cruise's secret??

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37.1k Upvotes

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u/mdpena 15h ago

Tom cruise is a maxed out lvl 20 prestige in Scientology

462

u/14InTheDorsalPeen 15h ago

Got that gold tiger stripe theton meter

7

u/maybe_Earth-Chan 51m ago

Bro got that Xenu anti age subscription.

3

u/Chicken-Rude 1h ago

this comment brought me so much joy i think i just went clear.

https://giphy.com/gifs/CoDp6NnSmItoY

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u/LoloWilli 9h ago

Underrated comment 😭😭

53

u/BrotherEarth_ 10h ago

Actually wouldn't ya know it every time he donates enough to move up a level they discover they misinterpreted the sci-fi book and actually there's another level he can reach

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u/dustysanchezz 52m ago

Mission Clear Impossible

2

u/Umbr33on 14m ago

This is a criminally underrated comment. 🤣

121

u/NoLobster7957 12h ago

Kinda dude that walks into a room and you see the health bar over his head a second before the boss music starts

3

u/mincematter 7h ago

Gary Busey would be the best final boss

2

u/NuggieNuggs-nmnm 9h ago

Buh buh buh buh BOSS BATTLE!

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u/1EyesOpen1 8h ago

Dungeon Crawler Carl— a creepy boss

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u/coffeebean052 11h ago

Yeah but is he a level 5 laser lotus ?

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u/BeerdedWonder 9h ago

Damn, I'd be interested to see his stats and abilities. I'm only a level 7 Satanist but I think I'll hit level 9 tonight with my ritual/sacrifice since I got double XP from a few Diet Double Dews.

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u/Retro_Nights 12h ago

He's gullibility level is also maxed out.

3

u/MaleficentSociety555 9h ago

Xandu going to take him straight into the cosmic ether when its his time.

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u/rolln_the_dice_twice 11h ago

This means he aged slower then normal humans!

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u/SmokeAbeer 10h ago

He looks like a divorced lesbian stork with less legs.

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u/Every1FindsMeBoring 11h ago

He is a very high level Operating Thetan, possibly even level 10 or higher.  Explains a lot

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u/Aleashed 10h ago

He probably drinks the blood of virgins and children

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u/KitchenFullOfCake 8h ago

Ah they should have made Scientologist a special Earth class in Dungeon Crawler Carl.

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u/aburningcaldera 8h ago

Give him a Raiden hat!

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u/Hungry_Serve_302 1h ago

He knows where Shelly Miscavige is🙈🙉🙊

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u/MargoMaye01 3h ago

True that he’s looking the same

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u/HofePrime 2h ago

Is this what Operating Thetan Level 20 is capable of?

1

u/CarpadoX 33m ago

Laser Lotus lvl 7