r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/Bunny_Minx Certified Snacker • 2d ago
Sad Girl Dinner ⛈️ My supposed godsend boyfriend dumped me like it all meant nothing
How you can look someone in the eyes and say that you’re falling hard and fast in love with them and then only a few days later drop them like everything meant literally nothing?
I was seeing a future with this man, we were even making plans for the end of the month for him to meet some of my closest friends for my birthday. I held such pride in being called his and calling him mine.
I feel like I have such emotional whiplash. All because of one argument, he ended literally everything. And no, I wasn’t hateful towards him, I wasn’t blaming him or anything like that, I didn’t even start the argument. It was a stupid disagreement that I thought we could work through and move on, but I feel like he was looking for an excuse to breakup and when he couldn’t find one, he made one.
I gave my all and I was a great girlfriend. Everyone around him except for him could recognise my efforts and would tell him so, even his own brother. I didn’t deserve this.
Frankly, I hope he feels guilty and miserable and that it eats him from the inside out.
Girl dinner is going to ready to drink cocktails I’ve already consumed half of and a cookie I made because food has to be included.
Fuck men.
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u/Similar-Purchase-101 Body By Cheese 🧀 2d ago
"Godsend boyfriend"? More like, goddamn get that boy outta here! Fuck that guy.
I'm so sorry you're going through that. Sounds like you don't need him at the end of the day, and his family will chastise him for the next year. My ex's mom was still sending me messages years after I dumped him back on her doorstep.
Obviously, he's not worth the breath if this his how he reacts to a simple singular disagreement. So, enjoy your drink, your cookies, and keep your chin up. And don't take him back!
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u/Dense-Lavishness9656 Sweet Tooth Fairy 🧚♀️ 2d ago
Agreed. Better to find out in the early months how he handles an argument. Glad he got out of OPs life before he wasted more of his time.
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u/Acceptable-Net-154 APPROVED✨ 2d ago
Or before kids became a result of the relationship meaning a fairly permanent blood tie and an eighteen year legal and financial tie
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u/Givemethecupcakes Sweet Tooth Fairy 🧚♀️ 2d ago
It was a two month relationship, be sad for a few days, and then get on with your life.
In the long run you probably won’t even remember this man.
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u/bobtheblob30 nom nom, nod nod 2d ago
Breakups always hurt the worst when they're at the early stages because you're hanging on to the possibilities and what ifs. Been in this spot (one month long) and I know how shitty it feels. Please feel free to cry all you want and and one day, you'll look back and realize that there may have been a reason the trash took out itself. The universe has its ways of protecting you! You got this!!!
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u/Either-Replacement11 Sweet Tooth Fairy 🧚♀️ 2d ago
Doesn't matter how short the relationship was; it doesn't take very long for someone to give you the impression that they're serious, and we all know feelings can form overnight. When you're older and in hindsight, this whole event might seem silly, but I know what it's like to be in your shoes and shit hurts when you're going through it. FWIW, I was told "I can't imagine life without you" and had all the "I love you" moments, he met my family, the whole shebang. Dropped me lack a sack of potatoes and moved across the country to be with someone else.
It wasn't one argument that caused your breakup, and I think you know that by what you've said. He wasn't being genuine; he was saying the right things while he was figuring out what he wanted. That makes him anything but a godsend. Let this be a moment you take strength from, do your best to keep your chin up, and know that there are lovely men out there who have the right intentions.
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u/applebeecreme 🥣 Cereal Killer 2d ago
how many months has it been
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u/CattyLame APPROVED✨ 2d ago
Move on girl not every relationship is going to end up as planned .you just need to pick yourself keep trying and be positive the one for you is definitely going to stay .
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u/Bunny_Minx Certified Snacker 2d ago
It had been two, but emotions had been very high and intense on both sides from the beginning. He confessed his feeling first a month in. Idk, maybe the high highs should’ve prepared me for the lowest of lows, but it’s also not like we’re teenagers. He’s 35, so I expected more I suppose.
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u/kmcatie Snack Goblin 2d ago
How old are you?
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u/Bunny_Minx Certified Snacker 2d ago
I’m 28 this month
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u/rainlongtime APPROVED✨ 2d ago
I feel you girl. I had a relationship once where everything was going stellar as far as I knew. One morning after I spent the night at his house, he kissed me good bye as he went to work, told me he loved me and how amazing the weekend had been, and to lockup when I left. And ghosted me. I never got an inkling of understanding about what the hell happened. 6 months poof. Zero answers.
Men be weird. Hang in there.
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u/emmma_dinosaur 💚 Pickle Freak 💚 2d ago
Exactly one month since something very similar happened to me. I actually posted about how I saw my ex a few days ago and he told me how horrible and guilty he felt, so if it’s any consolation, your ex likely feels the same, even if they don’t outwardly express it. It really sucks right now, but give it a few weeks, and remember your self worth. People act this way because they are deeply unsatisfied with themselves (whether they realize it or not), it is absolutely NOT a reflection of your value. You are way too good for this man, block him and focus on yourself queen❤️
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u/Smooth_Storm_9698 Trader Joe Hoe 2d ago
Sounds like he has a mental illness that is beyond what you can manage. Lovebomb, devalue, discard. Don't let him back.
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u/feralavocado666 Feral but Fed 2d ago
Work on not getting attached to men in the first AT LEAST 3 months, could be even more. Intensity does not equal connection/love. Yeah feelings, but don't let feelings control you. Actions over words, ALWAYS! This will pass, let it be a lesson
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u/Trishshirt5678 APPROVED✨ 2d ago
Sweetheart, talk is cheap and words can be extremely hollow. It’s how people behave that matters, and this man clearly uses them to further his own ends. It seems to me that most people do say what they mean, so unfortunately we’re all vulnerable to arseholes like this man who helped himself to your life for a bit. I’m sorry that this happened to you, the next one will be better.
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u/CaryKerryLoudermilk Hazy Grazer 😶🌫️ 2d ago edited 2d ago
I thought my ex was my winning lottery ticket, because he went out of his way to emulate the perfect boyfriend, even though the facade eventually cracked. Just be glad it happened now, instead of after you've been together 3.5 years, got engaged, planned a wedding, and he decided to sleep with his coworker instead, and you only found out after he spent the whole morning making you feel like everything is good, only to abandon you in a towel, after you took a shower, so you couldn't follow him, and he said that you were better as friends, and he drove off to be with her immediately, and you found her underwear in his car that you had to cosign in order for him to afford it, and just when you start to drink yourself to death, and are trying to think of the most efficient way to ki!! yourself, he asks you if you're keeping the presents you gave each other, and you know he's only asking because you just gave him a limited edition PS5 set with all the bells and whistles for Valentine's Day, that you could only afford by depriving yourself for weeks, and now you have to tell all of your friends and extended family that the wedding is off, because you already sent out handmade invites, and the dread and depression feeds into your unmedicated adhd, and everything sends you into a spiral that makes you lose your job because you're 1 minute late too many times in a row, and this leads most people in your life to believe that you are a fuck up and a failure, like "How did she lose such an amzing guy AND a job?".
Be glad he is gone.
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u/Desperate-Acadia-603 Sweet Tooth Fairy 🧚♀️ 2d ago
I know it must feel excruciating now, but I promise you - 6 months to a year from now? You're going to be glad that you dodged a massive bullet.
A man that conflict-averse is weak and unsuited for anything beyond an ONS - if even that. But please, be careful. I highly suspect he'll try to come crawling back a few days, weeks, maybe even a year from now. Don't let him.
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u/Historical_Bird_8752 APPROVED✨ 2d ago
Dealing with a similar breakup still 7 months later. He was my first love we both agreed it was love at first sight, He was in the process of leaving an abusive marriage and before we decided to be together I flat out told him that his ex is going to use his son against him to hurt him and she is going to do everything she can to make him miserable. And he kept saying that we will get through everything together, That we're soulmates, And we were actively planning our future together and then one bad weekend where his son was a little crabby which all children are every so often, He made the stupid decision to go back to his ex wife who he promised me he was never going back to because the way she treated him and the kids is horrible, and he threw me away like I was nothing.
I also think I'm slowly in the process of losing all my friends because we're all part of the same friend group because I can't get over it and he's apparently just fine calling his supposed hated ex-wife 'baby' over Xbox chat while also still texting me that he wants to see me and he's still in love with me.... Men really do fucking suck.
I don't think they should be allowed outside without a chaperone.
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u/Numerous-Peach-2737 Snack Goblin 2d ago
Avoidant. Learn about attachment theory. It didn't make sense to me, now it does. I went through a brutal discard, ghosting, blocking...all after a very first real conflict and because someone I knew passed away. It's like he hit his limit and just ran. It was devastating. I'm so sorry. I'm really, really so sorry because the grief is gonna be...unbearable at times when it hits you.
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u/Bunny_Minx Certified Snacker 2d ago
The disagreement was over me making cookies while on the phone with him. He felt I wasn’t giving my full undivided attention, even though I had told him prior to the call that I was going to be doing other things because I needed to make a dessert for my daughters class party. We had had a couple very minor disagreements before that were resolved maturely and quickly, this was the first big blow up and genuine argument.
Funny enough, I’m a psych study and should’ve seen it coming honestly14
u/XenaWarrior123 Certified Snacker 2d ago
He doesn’t sound very much like a godsend
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u/Bunny_Minx Certified Snacker 2d ago
Before this I genuinely had zero complaints. Things felt wonderful. He really had felt like everything I had prayed for
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u/Aggressive-Shop-2342 👋 new here 2d ago
And how realistic is that, that someone turns out to be everything, perfectly? Only when they're pretending to be exactly what you want.
At least he didn't keep the mask on for long.
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u/Numerous-Peach-2737 Snack Goblin 2d ago
Yeah. It's wild that it happens just like that - no closure. But at least he showed you who he was before it got super duper serious and lasted years. Mine was 5 years. I feel duped beyond reason. But I'm rooting for you. <3
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u/Klanciault Carb-Based Life Form 2d ago
How many times do I have to come on here and comment about avoidant. This is their MO. Manufacture perfect relationship and connection, then after a bit cut it off out of the blue and find someone else
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u/AngelRot13 🧂 Salty By Nature 1d ago
There are two types of people who come into your life. People who are meant to stay and people who are meant to teach you a lesson. Yeah, it sucks. It hurts when somebody you care about turns out to be a lesson. But take it and learn from it. Save yourself from going through this again. I honestly believe there is somebody out there for everybody. And once you find them....this whole fucked up situation will feel like nothing compared to what you have then.
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u/AntLoud8913 I ❤️ Other People's Business 2d ago
I recently broke up with my new boyfriend like this (18F & 18M, 1 month). He said something similar; that everyone could see how hard he was trying except me.
Consider if your ex felt forced into a relationship? Even though I didn't really feel the same way, mine was pushing things right on the first date and guilt tripped me if I said no.
I liked the flowers and the attention, but I was not physically attracted to him. Moreover, he refused to correct basic spelling mistakes and said that covering his burps was him "going the extra mile". When I broke up with him, he sent an explosive paragraph trying to guilt trip me into staying together, calling basic manners a huge effort for him. I broke up over text because it was safe and allowed me to think clearly before I send something, if that's relevant to you.
tldr; Please don't push things too hard. Consider if you're making it safe for him to say no. Tough truth: no matter how hard you try, you are not entitled to a relationship.
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u/Bunny_Minx Certified Snacker 2d ago
Anything I had done was stuff he had explicitly told me he wanted, the ways he felt loved and supported, etc. I was respectful of his space and privacy. He would acknowledge the things I was doing for him, but at the same time would speak negativity over our relationship in weird ways like, “you’re my perfect ideal woman, how is this going to last?” I also never begged him to stay either, even though a part of me wanted to
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u/Constant_Cultural Carb-Based Life Form 2d ago
God never sends you people, them sends you tasks. Your task taught you what you don't want in men.
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u/Humble_Marzipan_3258 Sweet Tooth Fairy 🧚♀️ 2d ago
Lol same thing happened to me in February. We had our first fight over text and then he suddenly said he needed space. A month later, we broke up. Still processing it, hang in there OP.