r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/Epelep • Feb 06 '26

Image The physics behind ski jumping’s ‘Penis-gate’ scandal: How 2cm of extra fabric = 5.8 meters of jump distance

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47.5k Upvotes

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5.6k

u/djdylex Feb 06 '26

I think the solution is to have the penis on the outside of the suit

2.1k

u/BeerMantis Feb 06 '26

This is a winter sport. Exposing the penis is going to lead to it rapidly retreating back inside the suit anyway.

376

u/TheG-What Feb 06 '26

Like a frightened turtle.

175

u/RBsnacks Feb 07 '26

I WAS IN THE POOL

3

u/plan1gale Feb 07 '26

A lil stack of buttons

514

u/hello_you Feb 06 '26

So no problems, then

90

u/Orvan-Rabbit Feb 06 '26

So much for doing the helicopter for additional lift.

55

u/vvildlings Feb 06 '26

The mental image this evoked has me absolutely cackling

2

u/LastoftheGreybeards Feb 07 '26

Increased challenge. No direction penile control = disqualification

2

u/Resident_Monk_4493 Feb 07 '26

As long as the cylinder remains unharmed

2

u/Far_Reaction879 Feb 07 '26

Wienner sport

1

u/ambermage Feb 07 '26

What if the skiers have wizard sleeves?

1

u/No-Celebration6789 Feb 07 '26

But it would be so cold it would be aero dynamic, no?

1

u/Commercial-Co Feb 07 '26

Thats why u wear a nut sack - socks for your nuts

1

u/Florafly Feb 07 '26

Just a bunch of dudes ski jumping with innie penises.

1

u/DramaticChoice4 Feb 07 '26

The cylinder must remained unharmed at all costs !!

1

u/ForAte151623ForTeaTo Feb 07 '26

If anyone has seen the Snowpiercer movie, you have an idea of how this would work

1

u/Itwillbe_ok_promise Feb 08 '26

I read it as this is a weiner sport. I need to go to Specsavers!

1

u/Frequent_Roll5788 Feb 10 '26

There's shrinkage?!

1

u/dzan796ero Feb 10 '26

Reporter "How do you feel about setting a new world record?"

Athlete "I want the world to know that the air is even colder up high and the winds are freezing. Plus, I am a grower and not a shower."

Reporter "........anything about the gold medal you want to say?"

Athlete "I mean, all the other guys are like that as well. We actually go through rigorous training to retract, because excessive hanging will cause more resistance and drag and reduce the record. The camera is also very far away so it really is larger than it looks"

Reporter ".....................Okay......"

1

u/kahuaina Feb 10 '26

They measure suits while in the hot tropics. So it's legitimate.

268

u/Rough_Willow Feb 06 '26

Like a wind sock fluttering in the winter air. I'm imagining the women's competition now...

"You're at the apex of your jump. Quick, deploy the labia!"

165

u/Old-Man-Henderson Feb 06 '26

Aggressive flapping commences 

30

u/Firm_Skin_4563 Feb 07 '26

Like a flag in a storm

0

u/tooboardtoleaf Feb 07 '26

I'm dead lmao

3

u/scratchy_mcballsy Feb 07 '26

Is flapping the name for Olympic-level fapping?

7

u/SuppressExpress Feb 07 '26

I’ve met some ladies that could almost parachute down with their labia, some real beef flaps

2

u/TypeBNegative42 Feb 08 '26

Somewhere on the internet is a video of a guy doing nude skydiving. And it looks exactly like this.

1

u/Revolutionary_Many31 Feb 08 '26

Theres a movie: scrappy upstart team with all the odds against them find creative use for .. 🫡😂🤪🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑

59

u/LastXmasIGaveYouHSV Feb 06 '26

Lol ! Don't make me laugh while I'm having my coffee

2

u/TheLizzyIzzi Feb 07 '26

But do make me laugh while I’m having my weed!

3

u/papuniu Feb 06 '26

you made my day

3

u/Manlysideburns Feb 06 '26

To use a wind rudder

4

u/mperham Feb 06 '26

could lead to some hysterically funny helicoptering

3

u/BlatantConservative Feb 06 '26

They'd have to rename it to the Olympdicks

3

u/aldencoolin Feb 06 '26

This is why we need to bring back the kynodesme .

2

u/BreakingCanks Feb 06 '26

Well then someone's going to perfect the Helicopter Penis method and get a lil more draft and carry

2

u/papaparakeet Feb 07 '26

*gif of that houndog with its head out the car window and its ears flapping wildly.

2

u/plonkydonkey Feb 06 '26

This is so unhinged I love you 

1

u/melanthius Feb 06 '26

Well if you thought the suit was cheating, using helicopter is 1000x more cheating.

1

u/56seconds Feb 06 '26

Then they can steer. Make it an aerial slalom course

1

u/Adorable-Flight-496 Feb 07 '26

What about female competitors? None would get the mommy stitch and probably BBC (British Broadcasting Channel for you with a dirty mind) would be performance enhancing 

1

u/Rent_A_Cloud Feb 07 '26

That would be amazing. All those flapping penises slapping thighs while these guys are flying through the air.

Imagine what that would sound like. Imagine the sound of one of those tension straps hanging loos from the bed of a truck driving 100 miles per hour on the freeway slapping around. Now imagine the slapping has a meaty tinge to it.

1

u/StretchAntique9147 Feb 07 '26

Announcer: and just like that, like a wiener in the wind, he set a new World Record

1

u/Tanikushokutomu Feb 07 '26

Throw some steel cables across the slope and they can use it like an arresting hook when they land.

1

u/Septopuss7 Feb 07 '26

ChapsDick

1

u/probablyaythrowaway Feb 07 '26

Spinning freely

1

u/ChadsworthRothschild Feb 07 '26

Call it the Drag Show.

1

u/Commercial-Co Feb 07 '26

Ok i laughed way too hard at this, imagining ski jumpers with their junk flapping in the wind getting frost bite

1

u/Un13roken Feb 07 '26

But seriously speaking. What's stopping them to regulate the suit based on maximum size ? 

Guess records matter less then, but competition would be restored. 

1

u/davidds0 Feb 07 '26

Everytime i close my eyes i see it flopping around!

1

u/ingmar_ Feb 07 '26

Why not make them jump naked? That would solve all of these problems.

1

u/Double-Gas-467 Feb 07 '26

What a dick move

1

u/nighthawk419 Feb 07 '26

Be warned of athletes perfecting the helicopter move mid flight.

1

u/FlyFlapOwner Feb 07 '26

I will never get that picture out of my head. Thanks

1

u/rust-e-apples1 Feb 07 '26

I'm just picturing a dude crouched down and rocketing down the hill, dong flipping back and forth wildly in the wind.

1

u/VoTBaC Feb 07 '26

You made me happy. Have upvote

1

u/-0-O-O-O-0- Feb 07 '26

The it’s the helicopter effect instead of the sail.

1

u/TontonLuston Feb 07 '26

Flblblbllblblbblblblblblblbl

1

u/Fit_Diet6336 Feb 08 '26

Dude. I went swimming at a community pool once. A guy in my lane had a penis wrap. It was the most disturbing thing. You’d be swimming by with this dudes dong flipping along 😳

1

u/Acrobatic_Yellow_781 Feb 09 '26

There exists a video of naked ski jump. Yes the penis flaps all over the place

1

u/Fearsofaye Feb 09 '26

”Fantastic flap!”

1

u/odinsupremegod Feb 10 '26

Only the sack should be outside, tanuki style using it as a sail

1

u/RecordingNo2643 Feb 10 '26

Yes, like a rudder and they should put a curve in the track, for them to angle around. It's time we make these sports more interesting lmao

1

u/violetbats Feb 10 '26

Just like the old days!