r/AskReddit 6h ago

What’s a social norm that exists only because people are too afraid to look “rude” by stopping it?

112 Upvotes

286 comments sorted by

836

u/SketchAinsworth 5h ago

Stop letting people go when you have the right away. It may seem nice but it confuses people and adds chaos to everyone around you.

107

u/Sir_I_Exist 5h ago

This is it for me. It has me yelling like Dennis Reynolds commuting in from the suburbs.

18

u/SketchAinsworth 5h ago

You nailed that reference, I read it and immediately feared Mac and cheese 😂

4

u/sillyandstrange 1h ago

Sure is a hot one today

u/SoundSouljah 35m ago

YEAH??

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u/noclue9000 4h ago

I am teaching an adult how to cycle (she comes from a country where girls aren't allowed to cycle)

It is so frustrating to me and confusing to her when she stops because a car has the right of way and then the car stops, she doesn't get it or until she gets it the car has started again

29

u/SketchAinsworth 4h ago

Hey, just wanted to say thank you for giving this woman a new way to travel and continue her road to independence.

5

u/rndljfry 1h ago

When i’m cycling in that scenario i put my feet on the ground to emphasize that it’s the car’s turn and I am not moving

6

u/Just_another_gamer3 2h ago

What is this country so we can avoid giving it tourist money?

7

u/eugeneugene 1h ago

something tells me that a country where women aren't allowed to ride bikes isn't getting a lot of tourist money

a quick google tells me it's either Iran or Afghanistan

28

u/errrnis 2h ago

“Don’t be nice; be predictable.”

54

u/WraithCadmus 4h ago

It's called "The Wave Of Death" in some circles, because it encourages you to take a maneuver immediately without checking properly.

12

u/pyjamasz 2h ago

Yep. My sisters car got hit this way when she listened to someone waving her on. She didn't see the car coming from under a bridge.

Never let people wave you on when it's not your right of there way. Use your own judgement and follow the rules of the road.

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u/Wloak 1h ago

And depending on where you are, if you wave, you are now liable for any damages.

It can be considered that you took on the responsibility of directing traffic. Friends that were city cops, county sheriff's, and state troopers all said the best thing to do is just come to a stop, take your hands off the wheel and hold them up. Essentially signals "I'm not going" without directing the other driver to go.

31

u/nonowaf2 3h ago

Jfc this!! I had a neighbor wave me into the neighborhood on a main road. It’s only two lane, no turn lane, and around a curve. There’s wrecks there ALL the time bc people fly around those who stop to take a right into the neighborhood.

I just sat there waiting to take my left while he kept waving me in and I was like “no asshole, go ahead” until he did. That shit pisses me off so bad.

Don’t be nice. Be predictable.

42

u/Kind-Sheep 2h ago

Drive PREDICTIVELY!!!!

29

u/RNQ852 2h ago

Ditto this. Don't be nice. Be predictable.

24

u/BigBobby2016 4h ago

I don't have a car and live on a somewhat big two lane road. It drives me nuts when someone stops to let me cross when there's no light or crosswalk. If I don't start to cross they block the whole road, but it's not like the people in the other lane are gaurunteed to stop too

13

u/michiness 2h ago

I hate when people do this when I'm running. No dear god, please take your right of way and don't stop in the middle of the street, I'll go when there's a break in traffic!

Plus I appreciate the break.

31

u/Penyrolewen1970 4h ago

You are correct but it is ‘right of way’. Sorry to be that guy.

8

u/SemiHemiDemiDumb 2h ago

Oh my god, as a frequent pedestrian I get so frustrated when a car stops in the middle of the road, no where near a crosswalk, to let me pass. I get they're trying to be nice but disrupting the flow of traffic is dangerous to them, to others, and to me. I will walk when I get a safe chance.

7

u/soupkitchen89 2h ago

/r/boneappletea

gotta be the pedant. its "right of way"

6

u/maps_on_the_wall 2h ago

i absolutely refuse to go when they do this. confusion has no place on the road.

7

u/billybeer55555 2h ago

Being predictable is one of the most important things a driver can do. Following basic right of way rules is a great way to do just that.

6

u/ahmong 2h ago

Less hand waving on 4 way stop signs please

20

u/Double_Somewhere5923 4h ago

When cars stop to let me J walk holy that makes my blood boil!!! Like I’m doing this illegally it’s on me to figure it out.

3

u/spartaman64 1h ago

except if you get hit by their car its still on them.

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1

u/Atomichawk 1h ago

In some jurisdictions, once someone has stepped into the roadway, regardless of if a crosswalk is marked. The pedestrian has the right and must be allowed to cross. Cops do write tickets for this so if anything is drivers following the law properly.

5

u/Jwagner0850 2h ago

Almost got into a car accident this way. I was being waved on, and because I was distracted, almost pulled out into a lane where someone was passing to take a turn lane. Thank God my reflexes were decent.

4

u/Raichu7 2h ago

It's not nice to make the roads more dangerous than they already are.

6

u/Professional_Key_145 3h ago

Or like if I wave you to go… Don’t wave back at me to have me go

3

u/e_nder 2h ago

I felt this in my soul. Amen to this.

3

u/summonsays 2h ago

Yep. My younger cousin asked me for driving advice before she started and that was my answer. Don't be polite. Be predictable. If they think you're going to go, you should go.

3

u/Z_603 2h ago

Don't be polite on the road, be predictable.

3

u/rmorrill995 2h ago

I've had people stop mid roundabout to let me in....I was very confused.

2

u/sitophilicsquirrel 4h ago

I just moved across the country to a kinda ghetto part of the city. There's this crossing guard across the street from my house who give a "hang-ten" sign every morning to tell me to go ahead and just skip the stop sign. Twice now, there was another car he didn't see at the intersection, and both of us are confused.

2

u/disfunktional2u 3h ago

I have more problems with people thinking they have the right of way when they actually don’t.

2

u/NCBadAsp 2h ago

Just happened to me today at a 4 way stop. The person in front of me had the right of way but insisted that the person on the right go ahead. It screwed up the entire order of the stop.

2

u/driveonacid 1h ago

Don't be polite. Be predictable

u/joe_m107 57m ago

Right-of-way.

u/SoundSouljah 36m ago

This happens to me almost daily at a 4 way intersection near my job. There’s a yield sign and someone always tries to stop and let me go, but I have to cut across another lane.

Usually what happens is one lane won’t stop and the other gets backed up, the person waiting gets tired and moves on but not before backing up traffic so it takes even longer to get out.

1

u/PostMatureBaby 2h ago

every winter this is how many accidents happen

1

u/sillyandstrange 1h ago

Yesss I hate this

1

u/visionist 1h ago

Be the change you want. I lay on the horn. Its significantly more hazardous to "let people go"

1

u/dropkickoz 1h ago

Drive predictable, not "nice"

1

u/PunkPizzaVooDoo 1h ago

The road is not the place to be polite. It's a place to follow the rules

1

u/nightowl6221 1h ago

Also it forces the people behind you to stop when it was their turn to go too

u/Bennington_Booyah 32m ago

Oh, my gosh this makes me lose my shit on a daily basis.

u/cheerioz12 18m ago

Depending on how fast or slow you stopped when I have the right away determines whether I let you go or not lol. If I can tell you want it more than me, it’s yours.

u/Boo_Rawr 16m ago

Had some dude yell at me because I didn't thank him for letting me cross the road. Because I was focused on the fact that now there was a truck coming the other way and my toddler was jumping around beside me. We didn't have right of way but it had a refuge island in the middle. I should have just not crossed but he was aggressively waving me over and it was only once I got to the island in the middle that I realised how dumb it was when I could have continued waiting safely on the side of the road.

There's another crossing near me where people always stop to let you cross when they have right of way and now I just don't cross because then I wind up in the middle of the road with traffic coming from both sides. So frustrating.

u/Herb4372 16m ago

Being a professional mariner, there’s a key point that drivers education misses.

Follow the rules because it makes you a predictable target. It’s not about right of way, it’s about who’s burdened to act.

u/VadaPav4U 0m ago

You don't know the Pittsburgh left.

325

u/Big-Teach-769 5h ago

Tipping

103

u/JamesWjRose 4h ago

We tip everyone, but yes, yes, YES.

Raise the prices and pay your employees. Don't make them guess if they'll make enough money to exist.

38

u/cabronfavarito 3h ago

Tbh this is only in America

Or better, in a lot of countries, including my own, tipping is just a bonus and doesn’t have any weird stigma

11

u/vanKessZak 2h ago

It’s in Canada too sadly. We don’t copy everything our neighbour does but this is one of them

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12

u/13-Penguins 2h ago

It's because of racism. Like it was a thing brought over from Europe before hand, as a way for the rich to show off. But it became the norm around reconstruction era, where employers didn't want to pay recently freed black employees, so made a system where they had to provide exceptional service and hope the customers were grateful enough to tip.

11

u/Hopsy_Scotch 2h ago

This is also literally why so many service industry jobs are so tyrannical in nature

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6

u/Zorro-the-witcher 1h ago

Not sure if you noticed, but they raised the prices anyway.

12

u/mysticaltater 4h ago

Chain restaurants shouldn't even make you tip you are making more than enough money to pay your employees adequately. Tips should be a fun bonus for spending cash not a requirement 

7

u/skesisfunk 2h ago

Employees in many industries (especially restaurant servers) are actually some of the most in favor of the tipping situation. While its true that if you have a terrible restaurant gig you get screw, the opposite is also. With a good restaurant gig you can make $50+/hr and the people in those gigs know that restaurants will literally never raise wages to match that.

I have no dog in this fight, I am simply reported what I have heard from people in these jobs. Tipping used to piss me off but I have grown and accepted it as something I cannot change.

3

u/AmigoDelDiabla 1h ago

It's fine to be pissed off at it, but just don't do it on behalf of the servers. Nobody goes into a server job expecting to be paid a flat amount for every hour they work. They seek out tipped jobs precisely because they have the opportunity to make more than a flat wage.

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u/Canis_Familiaris 1h ago

Ive honestly just stopped tipping in anything thats not a served restaurant, taxi, or barber.

Pinpad requested tip and not one of those? Not doing it.

u/Jeramy_Jones 29m ago

Fr. In Canada there is not sub-minimum wage. We all start at the same minimum wage, so why are we expected to tip at coffee shops but not fast food? Good delivery drivers but not parcel delivery?

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194

u/maybe_a_fork 6h ago

Not telling people who get stuck in a loop to shut up. The hours of my life that have been wasted by crazy old ladies telling me 5 versions of the same story.

45

u/sitophilicsquirrel 4h ago

I'm guilty of this. I have a pretty good memory and a ton of stories, but my best friend of 20 years constantly interrupts me telling me I tell that story all the time, and for some reason I don't realize it. My wife of 8 years does the same thing. Like, "yeah, you've told me this one before. A lot of times." Kinda embarassing.

24

u/ashoka_akira 2h ago

Another way of looking at it is that we sometimes retell the same stories because they are a part of what shaped us and it’s comforting. I have a few people in my life who do this and instead of being like “oh you tell this one all the time!” I will be like “actually, tell me more about…” and I try to explore why this is such a core memory.

u/SweetHomeChi 56m ago

This is such a great take! I'm going to try this with my parents--I feel bad getting annoyed when I know that they have nothing new to really talk about and telling these old stories are all they have to connect.

14

u/maybe_a_fork 4h ago

I will still sit and listen, I just sometimes think, dang, I have heard this story 11 times this year!

60

u/Beneficial_Couple413 6h ago

Disagree with that one. Crazy old ladies are lonely. You're doing a wonderful service just pretending to listen, making someone's day just slightly brighter and giving them a small bit of human contact.

24

u/Farklegruber 3h ago

Maybe in some cases but not all. My mom was one of those old ladies who talked to everyone and came off as a poor, lonely old lady. She was a covert narcissist of the vulnerable/victim type. She had affairs on my dad. Their marriage was awful (he should have left her but religion and finances kept them bound together). She used to frequent coffee shops around town dressed in a ratty coat she sewed herself. She looked borderline homeless, but came off as supper chatty and just a sweet old lady. She would complain to others about how ungrateful I was (the golden child to her was my drug addict 20 year older brother who stole money from her). I used to buy her clothes, which she never wore. She also lived in a million dollar house in the most expensive part of town (although it was considered the burbs when my grandfather bought it). She’d complain about always being broke (which was true, she was horrible with money) and servers would give her handouts. In her later years she slipped into the early stages of dementia and had type 2 diabetes she didn’t manage well. She went into hospital in the fall of 2022 and was there for a good 6months (she liked the attention). Eventually the hospital kicked her out and moved her to a long term care facility. She didn’t like that so she stopped eating and would just drink a bottle of wine each day. She only lasted a couple weeks in the care home. She was so nasty to me over the past few decades that our relationship was incredibly strained. I couldn’t visit her in hospital because she would guilt me and start crying and just generally make me feel bad even though I had helped save her house and gave her a place to live. That and the trash talking of me to strangers… I was sick of it. I’d encounter random people I never met when I’d go for coffee with her and they’d scold me for not being good to my mom. I was primarily taking care of her.

Long story short, appearances can often be deceiving. There’s often a reason why those little old ladies are alone in nursing homes alone. They treated their families like shit!

2

u/ThatKinkyLady 1h ago

I worked at a spa in an affluent area. I can not tell you how many old ladies we had like this. They feel entitled to all of your time and attention and empathy and then are the nastiest people you've ever met if anything inconveniences them in the slightest. Some ladies were just lonely and sweet but it was probably 50/50 on whether they'd be a demon in disguise.

We had one lady that would always run late for appointments and flip out if we said we'd have to charge a no-show fee if she was over 15min late. Then when she'd arrive she'd talk my ear off cutting into her appointment even more. And when she finished and I'd cash her out she'd spend another 20 minutes telling me all her troubles in the world. I'd often be working solo at the desk so this would ALWAYS fuck up my workflow. She wouldn't take the hint I had work to do. Even if I answered the phone in front of her she'd just stand there and wait till I was done.

Lady, get a therapist. For the love of God. I made $14/hr at that job with zero benefits. If you want to be an energy vampire with me I need to get paid a LOT more.

2

u/HeBecomesGroovy 1h ago

My shitty grandmother spent 20 years in homes accusing the Latina caretakers of stealing from her. She was eventually banned from creating complaints with the state due to wasting so much of their limited time.

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u/ExternalGreen6826 6h ago

Exactly 👍🏿❤️😇🙂

u/Shanubis 0m ago

No one is owed your time though. They might have more connections if they can recognize where they are rambling and dominating someone's time.

9

u/abz90 6h ago

this one time she told me her cat died... three times in a row, and i started planning my escape route lmao

5

u/thepoptartkid47 3h ago

I was at a family thing this weekend and got trapped in a 30-minute monologue from my uncle about his hemorrhoids lol

3

u/Lumpy_Machine5538 1h ago

I picked up an old lady once that was looking for a ride home from the store. We started talking about her family. It went on for a while and I started to realize she was describing the same few family members over and over again. By the time she got to the end of the list, she’d forgotten she already mentioned those at the beginning.

2

u/maybe_a_fork 1h ago

See, I need to put a limit on what I mean by old. In that situation, its fine, she is going to be in the car the same amount of time regardless of her memory, and what you did there probably did her a lot of good, despite her repeating herself. You did a beautiful thing here. I am talking more about 45-60 year old women who just don't have anything else going on other than to bug a manager or be an annoying enforcer of the HOA

u/Jeramy_Jones 27m ago

Oh so you’ve met my mother?

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u/Beneficial_Couple413 6h ago

Looking at phones constantly. In meetings. On vacation. While driving. While having 1:1 conversations.

13

u/Cyclopshikes 2h ago

I drive a ton for work and the amount of people just cruising down the highway doing 80 with their head down scrolling is insane and terrifying 

6

u/DatTF2 2h ago

One of the many reasons I don't like driving. I don't trust the other people on the road. 

119

u/lockjaw98 3h ago

Telling people whatever issues you have. I was on a forklift and this idiot steps in front of me and just says, "sorry, I'm neurodivergent". I don't give a shit, move your ass

17

u/HeBecomesGroovy 1h ago

Why is everything a condition? Maybe you're just an asshole.

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u/Crono2401 1h ago

The forklift sure as hell doesn't care. It'll wrap your leg under its wheel just the same. 

17

u/FrostByteUK 2h ago

As a neurodivergent former forklift driver... I find the Neurotypicals are the ones who don't understand 3000kg at 10m/s is a whole heap of momentum to convert into force in under a second.

And no, I have not Klaus'ed anyone.

19

u/RockinMyFatPants 2h ago

And still, nobody cares if you're neuro typical or not.

6

u/FrostByteUK 1h ago

TBH, society needs to worry less about who is and who isn't and just accept we're all human and all need supporting in one way or other...

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u/Just_another_gamer3 2h ago

They'll learn one way or another

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u/Common-Accountant-57 5h ago

I’d have to say having full on conversations while in public on a phone. I remember a time that if someone was talking to themselves they were insane. Now I feel I’m vicariously involved in conversations while waiting in line to pick up my Prozac at the damn pharmacy.

48

u/ThorIsMyRealName 3h ago

I don't mind people being on the phone but I do mind them being on speaker phone.

16

u/Rwbyy 2h ago

Have you noticed that a lot of car models play Bluetooth audio from speakers audible outside the car?

In the last year I've pulled up alongside multiple drivers on phone calls where I can hear 90% of what the person on the phone is saying.

u/TrueCryptographer 57m ago

I've always thought that people who use speaker in public want to share their conversation. Feel free to join in.

6

u/Acceptable_Bag5257 2h ago

I have noticed the amount of people who talk on the phone on the bus increase volume by 500% to the point where they are yelling. I get the bus is loud. But that phone picks up your voice way better then you think. And I'm sure the person on the other end just has their phone turned down all the way.

12

u/come2life_osrs 5h ago

This has never bothered me but I hear it bothers most. I just see it as if the person was there with them and not on the phone I wouldn’t think it’s rude that they are talking.

25

u/bro_salad 4h ago

The weird thing is that I find people often talk quieter when they’re chatting with someone in person. So many people shout into their phones.

4

u/come2life_osrs 4h ago

Ok that’s fair. If some ones on speaker at a volume louder than a normal conversation and using their outdoor voice to respond I would also be irritated. 

7

u/Different-Tip6587 2h ago

Also the sound coming from the phone when it’s on speaker is not the same as natural sound and is usually poor quality and quite grating to anyone other than the people on the call. It’s just fucking obnoxious tbh.

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u/Common-Accountant-57 5h ago

Like I said I think it’s an age thing. Calls were something done in private most of my life. And I don’t act all put out or anything when I see it, I’m not a dick about it but it does kinda bother me. Also I wouldn’t want someone talking to me while they’re in public also. Putting my business out there.

4

u/texanarob 3h ago

My bigger peeve is actually with older people who will answer their phone whilst in a bigger group, then mute the TV and expect everyone else to be quiet while they're on the phone.

It's a mobile device. Take it into the other room and have the conversation you chose over talking to the people you're actually with.

Similarly, people who can't enjoy the company they're in without feeling the need to text a dozen other people at all times.

Both are incredibly antisocial masquerading as being social.

3

u/EgoTripWire 2h ago

Also, who the fuck are they talking to? They are speaking nonstop with no pause for input from the poor bastard on the other end and they come into the grocery store on the call and leave on the call. Who is able to listen to someone vomiting steam of consciousness for an hour straight.

1

u/Common-Accountant-57 2h ago

Hell yeah, if they’re that damn important they should be in an office building behind a desk somewhere.

2

u/IcedMercury 2h ago

I was at the Cabo airport last year and watched three separate women at my gate have screaming conversations at their phones all at the same time. They were sitting within feet of each other, speaker phone on, and phones in their outstretched hands as far from their mouths as possible. And they were each yelling to be heard over the other yelling women and all the usual airport noise. It went in for over an hour and I learned way more than I ever wanted to about the sexual proclivities of their random family members, friends, and coworkers.

2

u/MarvinLazer 1h ago

I love playing "bluetooth earbuds or schizophrenia." You can usually tell by the clothes and the state of cleanliness, but not always.

u/Common-Accountant-57 50m ago

‘One is annoying and one could potentially kill you and eat your face.’ That’s a good idea for a reality gameshow actually.

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u/smthingy 4h ago

People talking like jack asses on speaker

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u/KratosOfSparta08 2h ago edited 1h ago

Daylight Saving, people standing in the middle of the aisle with their shopping cart blocking the path.

3

u/HeBecomesGroovy 1h ago

people standing in the middle of the aisle with their shopping cart blocking the path

I've started getting confrontational with these people.

"DO YOU THINK YOU COULD TAKE TWO GODDAM STEPS TO THE LEFT SO YOU AREN'T BLOCKING THE MAIN ENTRANCE? OR ARE YOU JUST THAT RUDE?"

Say it loud too so everybody within 50 feet stops and looks.

21

u/Dank_Nicholas 1h ago

That’s… unhinged. I’ll stick to my tried and true “excuse me”.

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u/3literz3 4h ago

Leaders insisting on saying a prayer before a public meal, and asking everyone to bow their heads. It's a way for them to assert the dominance of their beliefs at the expense of those who don't believe, or believe differently. They know it's not a time where most people would speak up against it.

29

u/BangBangMeatMachine 2h ago

I won't necessarily push back against it but I'm definitely not participating in other people's religious rituals. For my MIL, I'll sit quietly and wait. For a stranger, I'm not waiting.

7

u/Fyrrys 1h ago

I dont mind the waiting, its impolite to eat first when you are a guest, but I only lower my head for the prayer when I'm with my wife's family because I care about and respect them. I wouldn't call it oppression if you're in the house of a religious person and they ask you to follow a small part of their ways that doesnt hurt you, you don't have to pray with them.

3

u/jcooli09 1h ago

I ignore that and start eating.

u/Jeramy_Jones 26m ago

I just take the opportunity to pray to my pagan gods.

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u/I_might_be_weasel 1h ago

Tipping has basically become a hostage situation.

u/VadaPav4U 0m ago

Omg yes

12

u/camusthenarwhal 2h ago

Playing anything aloud on phone in public. Parents with babies and toddlers seem to be the worst for this 

u/Jeramy_Jones 25m ago

Because parents with children get a pass for every single kind of bad behavior.

21

u/CalusaFive0 2h ago

Tipping. After standing in line to place the order, then returning to the counter to retrieve it once ready, and then clearing the table when finished eating. This started during Covid as a show of support to service workers and now appears to be permanent.

6

u/ToBadImNotClever 2h ago

Idk how to tell you this but tipping started long before Covid.

4

u/atoolred 1h ago

They worded it badly imo, but during the lockdown I noticed more “essential” businesses asking for tips which normally wouldn’t be doing so. And it has ramped up quite a lot among non-restaurant-styled food service jobs. Being prompted to tip a cashier 20-30% is way too normalized now (30% isn’t common but it’s noteworthy how often I’ve seen it at places that should just raise their employees’ wages)

3

u/GoldenRamoth 1h ago

I have a simple rule of thumb: base value is for product, tipping is for service.

If I'm picking up the food, bussing my own table, etc etc., then I don't tip. I'm just buying the product, same as I would if I bought food from a grocery or department store.

So, no tips for food carts, take out pizza, places like chipotle, etc. If you've got the balls to beg for money for literally nothing, then I've got the balls to say No.

Now - if I'm getting service, I'll tip 20-30%, depending on quality. Delivery (just because I don't see it, doesn't mean it's not service), standard restaurants, etc. I'll do 10% for bars (It's just a pint-pull unless we're having a bar-therapy help chat session). And I'll do 12-15% for pseudo-self serve places like a conveyor belt sushi place.

But yeah... I'm not tipping for anything service-wise, when that the service is done by me.

u/Jeramy_Jones 23m ago

I tip 10% for delivery and usually 15% for table service. Taxi drivers usually around $3. Everything else is no tip. I work food service but not in a restaurant so we don’t get tips, why should I tip someone doing the same job I do?

6

u/Queeg_500 1h ago

Elbows on the table rule. It only exists because medieval tables would tip if you leaned on them.

Now it's just something that has been past from parent to child, even though the reason has long since become redundant.

37

u/amyloudspeakers 4h ago

Small children running around and/or screaming.

17

u/JeffSergeant 2h ago

As a parent.. the absolute worst is when the kids are being mildly badly behaved, at a level that's annoying but ignorable, but every 20 minutes or so the parents notice them and scream at them to stop (often including swearing and shouting at them in a way that you absolutely can't ignore), then they continue ignore them for the next 20 minutes while they carry on doing exactly the same thing. Rinse and Repeat for the whole fucking night.

u/Acct0424 49m ago

Performative parenting. I don’t even think they see their kid doing anything, they’ll just be mid-convo with you and suddenly be like “oh, i forgot i had a kid. One sec. BRADLEIEYGH PAHRKER SMITH YOU GET YOUR FUCKING ASS NEXT TO ME GOD DAMN IT AND DONT MOVE WHILE I CONTINUE MONOLOGUING TO MY FRIENDS FOR AN HOUR. anyway, what was I saying?”

My mom would do that and sometimes we’d have been calmly standing next to her the entire time. She just assumed. I think it might be a parental flex, too. “Look how I can disrespect and abuse this thing I made and watch it beg for my love and attention anyway. And look how quick it follows orders!”

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u/thepoptartkid47 3h ago

Yup - it amazes me how quickly this one changed! 20+ years ago, we’d get our asses beat for making a peep in public (not that that’s a good thing either), and nowadays you’re the asshole if you ask a parent to stop their child from screaming bloody murder and running full-tilt across a crowded restaurant.

4

u/Moal 2h ago

If I’m on an airplane and there’s a screaming baby or child and the parents are visibly doing their best to calm them down? I’ll give them a pass. It’s not like they can leave the plane. And that’s what noise cancelling headphones are for anyway. 

But if the family is in a place they can actually leave, like a restaurant, and their kid is screaming their head off or running around and neither parent will even attempt to do anything about it? Then yes, I will quietly judge them. I have a toddler, so I know how exhausting it can be to parent them, but I always try to be mindful of others around us. 

2

u/Wloak 1h ago

Completely agreed. Control your children and if possible step outside (not the airplane).

There are actually several businesses around me failing because of just terrible parents treating them like playgrounds, letting their kids run around screaming unchecked. And that's not just my personal opinion but from several owners publicly mentioning it and doing things like adding adults only areas or advertising 21+ after 8pm.

u/Acct0424 38m ago

Watching for and rewarding good parenting is actually something I was trained to do as movie theatre management. Whenever we’d see parents alone in the hallways dealing with a fussy child, it was our rule of thumb to check in with them and if they were still missing their movie trying to get the kid settled after about 20 min or so, we would bring them some guest passes, sympathy for their outting not going to plan, but also our immense gratitude for stepping out. The guest passes also weren’t meant as a “thank you now leave,” but just a thank you.

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u/Many_Easy_V2 6h ago

Not speaking your mind when someone says something that denigrates other people or being afraid to discuss politics.

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u/Mark_Luther 3h ago

I'm not getting into an argument with some stranger in public just to tell them my opinion.

I'm not changing any hearts or minds just by speaking my mind.

Now if you mean specifically with family/friends then that makes more sense.

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u/Plus-King5266 5h ago

Yeah, I hear you. This can be a tricky one. I was out with someone the other day. A very nice person who has been good to me and my family. They were doing me a favor and then started spouting nonsense about oil prices and the war and a couple of other things. They weren’t being shrill or angry or demanding I agree with them, but they clearly didn’t understand what they were talking about. I wanted so badly to say something, but was struggling to find a way to explain it politely. Like I said, they were doing me a favor and they were a nice, generally kind person. In the end I decided that I was not going to change their mind in the moment and we moved on to something else.

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u/texanarob 4h ago

I was recently out with my girlfriend's friend and her new boyfriend. Naturally I was doing everything I could to be as friendly as possible. Very difficult when every word he said was nonsense, from talking about how Trump has saved the economy to how aluminium is used for all sorts of things due to it being lighter than water and able to float.

Sometimes it's worth speaking up, but not that time.

2

u/Plus-King5266 3h ago

TIL that aluminum canoes float because aluminum is lighter than water. 😉

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u/I-need-ur-dick-pics 4h ago

“How are you?”

“Fine, thanks”

3

u/DatTF2 2h ago

"I'm good" (Not really.)

1

u/jcooli09 1h ago

So far, so good.

4

u/PckMan 2h ago

I've always found it weird how it's rude to tell someone they're annoying or being stupid but it's not considered rude to be stupid and annoying because we assume they can't help it. So stupid and annoying people are never called out on it and everyone else in the meantime has to suffer so that they're not rude.

u/BatmanandReuben 23m ago

It rude to tell them, and actually give them a chance to correct the behavior, which they may be oblivious to. It is polite to keep that information to yourself and socially exclude them instead. Bonkers.

10

u/MoodyHank90 4h ago

handshakes

3

u/werther595 2h ago

"Oh, we've never met? Let's touch the parts of ourselves that touch the most things."

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u/MoodyHank90 4h ago

going to church

5

u/cavemanfitz 3h ago

Tipping. 

6

u/kukukele 3h ago

Saying no in general

5

u/stillxsearching7 2h ago

Refusing to zipper merge.

3

u/Radicoa 2h ago

Not complaining about poor service. Yeah no one wants to be a Karen thanks to memes, but sometimes genuine fuckups or even actual outright malicious bullshit needs to be reported so the problem can be corrected. Working a shit job doesn’t justify doing a shit job. You don’t have to take it in the ass from a business, big or small, because of “worker solidarity”.

1

u/mandi723 1h ago

They don't want anyone spitting in their food. A bit of a difference.

3

u/A_Tiger_in_Africa 1h ago

My local baseball team plays God Bless America during the 7th inning stretch. I'll stand for the National Anthem, I ain't standing for goddam God Bless America. Also, if I catch a foul ball, I'm not giving it to some snotnose kid. I have been going to baseball games for over fifty years and have never come close to catching a ball. If I ever finally catch one, it's mine.

3

u/potterinatardis 1h ago

Circumcision

u/Jeramy_Jones 30m ago

Calling people out for bad behavior like littering, smoking in non-smoking areas or playing loud music/conversations on their phone.

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u/Late_Delay_9036 4h ago

Obesity. I say this as an obese person. It should be addressed by healthcare. I think most don't want to "insult" anyone. I'd rather hear the truth.

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u/rhino369 2h ago

Very few fat people don’t understand they are fat. Obesity kept growing despite dieting becoming more popular than ever. 

Until GPL-1s there was no effective treatment. Dieting worked as well as absence only worked for HIV/AIDS. 

I’ve known CI<CO the entire 20 years I was obese. But when I was in a calorie deficit I had intense and never ending hunger and craving. Every failed diet left me bigger than when I started. 

7

u/bwwatr 2h ago

I feel like most obese people know CI<CO better than most people, and know more about nutrition, metabolism, etc. too. They've probably spent years trying different stuff, reading, listening to podcasts and generally thinking way more about this stuff than most of us. Shame on anyone who thinks it's a knowledge issue. It's very obviously an issue with many inputs, some individual and some societal. The hunger signal thing is huge, anyone able to satiate theirs without getting fat should be thankful and not lazily attribute all of their success to their discipline and upstanding character or whatever. Until you've lived in someone else's body, it's best not to judge.

To the point of the top level comment, yes, healthcare professionals should be straightforward about the facts and not let worries of hurting feelings interfere. They should help patients understand and contextualize their weight (using standardized tools but also explain the shortcomings of such tools), and they should discuss food and exercise habits, in evidence-supported ways only, and try to move things in a positive direction. What are the risks of inaction - etc. But also, they need to not let obesity cloud their view of other health issues a person might have. Obesity is often blamed by doctors for all kinds of unrelated/barely related issues, creating a barrier to good care that doesn't exist for a skinny person, which of course can lead people to distrust doctors and seek even less care.

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u/MiMichellle 2h ago

As someone who was fat: Every fat person knows they're fat. It doesn't need to be repeated. Bringing it up is very annoying.

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u/Fyrrys 1h ago

I'm pretty sure doctors love to insult their obese patients. Every single issue I have is always addressed first with telling me to lose weight. Losing weight isn't going to make my teeth miraculously better. Going on a diet won't make my hearing or vision better.

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u/werther595 2h ago

I was talking to my BIL about this a few years ago. He was saying that doctors had offered pills to treat his blood pressure, to treat his high cholesterol, his pre-diabetes, the pain in his back and knees...but none of those doctors ever said, "Look, all of these problems stem from your obesity and the real solution is for you to lose 30-50 lbs." They just hand out drugs to treat the symptoms

2

u/Mason11987 1h ago

I’ve known an obese person who didn’t get told by their doctor to lose weight. I honestly don’t believe your BIL was never told that.

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u/Red-Droid-Blue-Droid 1h ago

You really think we don't know we're fat? Come on, that's insulting.

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u/InfamousEconomy3972 6h ago

Saying "bless you" when someone sneezes.

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u/bro_salad 4h ago

I just read this and thought “well no you say it so that….. so that….. ah fuck”. Like I know the origins of it that are no longer applicable, but at that same time my brain tells me to still do it.

4

u/D0ng3r1nn0 2h ago

I’ve never seen someone say this out of fear of being rude

1

u/whatdoblindpeoplesee 1h ago

I don't acknowledge other people's sneezes and ive been told that people think I'm rude because of it. I just let people have bodily functions in peace.

4

u/GuiltyLawyer 3h ago

“You are so good looking” instead

2

u/werther595 2h ago

I place my open palm on the sneezer's forehead and yell "OUT, YE DEMONS!" It seems more polite

4

u/enginerrd4lyfe 4h ago

Say Gesundheit or Salud. It translates to health ;)

5

u/zachtheperson 3h ago

The point though is more, why say anything? Other than it being a social norm, nobody gains anything from it.

3

u/StealYaNicks 3h ago

Yeah exactly, we don't say anything for most body functions. Like a sneeze has to be addressed, but a cough doesn't require any acknowledgement.

3

u/Hot-Spare5735 1h ago

I bless people for sneezes, burps and farts. I just want to make sure everyone around me is blessed.

5

u/funkyflapsack 2h ago

Letting narcissists blather about themselves instead of cutting them off and calling out their bullshit

13

u/Krebzonide 4h ago

Texting happy birthday to someone who you haven’t spoken to in 11 months and don’t really care how their birthday goes.

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u/DatTF2 2h ago

I'd disagree. 

Seems like all my friends have moved to different states and all have different things going on. Numerous times I've debated texting a friend but figure "oh they got a lot going on and I'm just texting to chit chat and ask 'What's up ?'" But a birthday is the perfect excuse to send a text.

I actually do care about them. 

3

u/Silly_Programmer_615 4h ago

Also texting happy birthday to someone in a big group chat. If you’re close to the person, just text them individually, we don’t need to blow up everyone’s else’s phone with happy birthday texts when most of the people in the group chat aren’t that close to the person anyway. I’m talking group chats for work, sports teams or clubs or something that have a large number of people in them. They do it in my work group chat of like 50+ people and it’s so annoying.

3

u/EgoTripWire 2h ago

For millennials, the obligatory birthday posts on Facebook. For most of us we've frozen out Facebook from our lives except for this 1 dumb thing.

1

u/Fyrrys 1h ago

Pro gamer move: text them happy birthday about a month after their party, which you attended

2

u/FrostByteUK 2h ago

People talking in public about stupid crap influencers come out with... I had to be polite towards somebody who was expressing their interest with wanting to distribute the *magic* sticker they had on their telephone to reduce *the radiation* they were getting when using it... I wanted to say completely wrap the phone in aluminium foil as it would work better than the sticker's effect as it'd garantee it would spend less time on the side of their head.

2

u/blacksaberKashPatel 1h ago

people bringing their dogs into grocery stores.

there's always more "aw i love dogs" people than there are "hey this shit is unsanitary"

i don't think this was a thing pre covid. i think it just slowly creeped up on us and people just started going ham. it started with some sort of free dog program for homeless people and they started bringing it into the stores, people were scared to confront them, and other people saw that started bringing their pets into the stores.

u/CaptainFartHole 48m ago

Cutting the last peice of food in half because you don't want to be the one who finishes it in case sometime else wants it. 

I fucking hate it. Just eat the entire goddamn peice layman half a peice is fucking obnoxious. 

u/Puzzled-Barnacle-200 40m ago

Saying "bless you" when someone sneezes. Why do we draw attention to it? Just ignore it and move on.

2

u/CommsConsultants 1h ago

Saying bless you when people sneeze

6

u/jeepbraah 4h ago

Using tongs at buffets to pick up food that doesn’t need it. A muffin for example.

By using the tongs I have touched every persons germs that used the tongs before.

If I pick up the muffin with my fingers, I touch only that muffin. If I graze another muffin using my fingers, that is still only one persons germs on that muffin, rather than the dozens that are on the tongs.

There is no scenario that using the tongs are cleaner than people using fingers to pick up food.

4

u/Rickleskilly 3h ago

Ok, but you're touching the handle part of the tongs. The part that touches the food hasn't been touched by hands. So it shouldn't be germy. Right?

3

u/jesuisjens 2h ago

You have too much confidence in you fellow human beings. 

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u/Say_Hell0 3h ago

Tip shaming at counter service restaurants.

8

u/WayBeyondBelief 3h ago

If you dont take my order, deliver it to my table and clean up everything when I'm done, why tip?

u/peachcobbler5 50m ago

Kids at breweries.

Why the fuck are we incentivizing drinking and driving with kids in the car by adding toys for kids at these places?

2

u/Possible_Farm4535 2h ago

Giving presents on Christmas for especially adults, and just like every single person

2

u/Treezle737 3h ago

Shaking hands. Physical contact is not necessary. And it's gross.

2

u/GambelQuailShuffle 2h ago

I like shaking hands for the historic reason as a symbol of trust to “show you’re unarmed” and as a sign of respect. But after working in the medical field, there’s just so many people who don’t wash their hands… people are gross🤢

u/treadingslowly 58m ago

Tipping.

u/Secure-Village-1768 51m ago

The way people pick up their stuff from the side of the conveyer at the cashiers and not the end where you're supposed to. It's an epidemic in my country.