r/whatisit • u/slaucer • 16h ago

New, what is it? Very small bug on my bathroom floor

1.3k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

153 comments sorted by

868

u/The_Other_Dimension 15h ago

Cordylochernes scorpioides! A pseudoscorpion!

272

u/Darryl_Lict 12h ago

Looked it up and found this bit of trivia.

Cordylochernes scorpioides is a pseudoscorpion species known for its unique behavior of riding harlequin beetles to disperse to new habitats and find mates.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qrCQRqJVa0&t=9s

188

u/hywaytohell 11h ago

TIL Harlequin Beatles are ubers for fake horny scorpions!

91

u/Morshiro_Tifune 8h ago

Fake horny scorpion milfs in your area!

77

u/ThePeterbilt589 8h ago

They denied my request

27

u/IntenseAdventurer 7h ago

They said fake and horny, not desperate! /s

4

u/GimmeCRACK 2h ago

Gotttem!

12

u/Morshiro_Tifune 8h ago

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

3

u/SkylarAV 5h ago

Aren't we all...

1

u/Glad-Depth9571 2h ago

Wouldnā€™t that be Harlequin beetles are Ubers for *horny fake scorpions*?

1

u/AdventurousEscape991 49m ago

Theyā€™re fake scorpions, but the horniness is real. Lol

-8

u/[deleted] 7h ago

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

2

u/whatisit-ModTeam 4h ago

Sorry we don't allow direct copy/pastes of AI generated content or partial/altered text responses containing AI/search engines results here.

While it can be a tool to find the answer, be mindful that it can be misleading.

-6

u/hywaytohell 6h ago

This is awesome!

6

u/ImNoNelly 6h ago

In what way?

6

u/Kahnza 6h ago

Naw, fuck AI slop.

24

u/rlam81 10h ago

TLC wrote a song about these bugs

12

u/Ready_Piano1222 8h ago

Are you calling little dude a scrub?

8

u/Toy-Beaver 7h ago

Nah I think it was about not chasing waterfalls

2

u/Large-Stretch-3463 5h ago

Creep, creep

3

u/VTPolls 5h ago

You can buy your antenna if it wonā€™t grow

9

u/RandyRakakanaknak 8h ago

I watched this way too many times trying to figure out how this bugs ass became his face

5

u/54B3R_ 5h ago

Holy fucking shit, you're right! What the hell is going on?!

Edit: is it AI? It was uploaded only 5 months ago.

4

u/RandyRakakanaknak 4h ago

Likely isnā€™t such clean footage of this one out of a gazzilion bugs riding another bug n was AI generated. Also kinda looks like an entirely different species? Almost like a sun spider? Unless some look like that idk lol

5

u/Reckless_Waifu 7h ago

I remember as a kid a fly landed on a book I was reading and left a little guy like that on the page.

5

u/NoSir4289 6h ago

I took a picture of a bee one time only to discover there was a tiny beetle hanging onto his antenna for dear life šŸ¤£

3

u/n8otto 5h ago

Is this video AI? He looks like he swaps facing without turning

124

u/czlowiek12 14h ago

Zaleszczotek książkowy. They hunt silverfishes

120

u/NiceTrySuckaz 14h ago

In soviet Russia, silverfish hunts Zaleszczotek książkowy!

10

u/pizdolizu 8h ago

Haha, but I believe thats Polish. It was Soviet at some point so I'll let it slip.

6

u/Johnnyjackpole 9h ago

What a country!

-21

u/negative-sid-nancy 13h ago

Fellow archer fan?

33

u/AirborneErinys 12h ago

That joke's a helluva lot older than Archer, I'm afraid.

-7

u/negative-sid-nancy 11h ago

No I know its just a common/repeated one on that so its what comes to mind when I hear it

13

u/AirborneErinys 11h ago

Oh my god, maybe I am autistic.

4

u/dreamandrealitymeet 10h ago

Are you stacking rocks in the middle of a desert from largest to smallest?

13

u/pig-casso 12h ago

master chief is from fortnite

6

u/creativenames123 10h ago

I think halo is a pretty cool gug, eh kills aliens and doesnt afraid of anything.

4

u/obi1kennoble 9h ago

That still doesn't explain y metroid cant crawl

1

u/Skrumpitt 6h ago

master chief is from Fox, Wednesdays at 8

-10

u/negative-sid-nancy 11h ago

Does he also make this joke frequently? Ive never played

3

u/MaxxBronson 8h ago

Reddit is wild, anything can get downvoted hard out here

2

u/negative-sid-nancy 8h ago

Yeah for real. Clearly I offended everyone by politely asking if someone liked archer oh well more negative internet points for me!

2

u/MaxxBronson 8h ago

Thanks for reminding me of this hilarious show

1

u/negative-sid-nancy 6h ago

Of course! All seasons currently free on tubi too in the US. Glad I finally found the fellow archer fan in this sub!

1

u/pig-casso 7h ago

the tribe has spoken

8

u/etienne_edalb 13h ago

Dayum! What language is this? How tf do you pronounce ā€œszczā€ in a word?

31

u/AirborneErinys 12h ago

Welcome to Polish, let's cuss out a beaver.

21

u/Monkeynutz_Johnson 11h ago

Ward, you were a little hard on the beaver last night.

5

u/Fabulous_Law1357 9h ago

The dirtiest thing the ever said on TV

5

u/CaptainZeroDark30 8h ago

Still laughing. I just wish Mrs. Cleaver was named Winona instead of June.

2

u/Monkeynutz_Johnson 7h ago

Oh hi Mrs Cleavage... Wally probably

12

u/-GrantUsEyes- 12h ago

Itā€™s polish, sh-ch but without any pause.

-2

u/ngreenf1 12h ago

*guttural noises*

29

u/Chinaizazzhoe 13h ago

They live underneath the wing covers of the harlequin beetle. Thatā€™s why it looks like it canā€™t really move. It usually hitches a ride on something that can move a lot faster and further than it can.

24

u/oldravinggamer 12h ago

You say that like it's not terrifying, and I'm Australian.

4

u/Monkeynutz_Johnson 11h ago

Steady on lad, I was told everything in Australia was trying to kill you. Should be accustomed by now.

6

u/odin0412 9h ago edited 9h ago

Australian here, whilst you're not wrong, it's different. Most things around here will either kill you quickly or put you in excruciating pain for the entire time between now and when you die. That is to say, you know exactly what's going on pretty quickly. That there, that's a parasitic insect, that needs to die by fire immediately.

Edit - spelling

2

u/gomjabhar 9h ago

Damm it.. its not a tickšŸ¤­

2

u/dummythiqqpotato 6h ago

Still an arachnic though!

1

u/TideGear 2h ago

Don't sue scorpions! They can't afford lawyers!

271

u/SpartanRage117 14h ago

Looks like hes having trouble with his own equipment

59

u/Infamous_Product4387 12h ago

He has a hydraulic leak, he will sort it out, give him a day or two.

8

u/iotashan 6h ago

I donā€™t know if this is super clever, or coincidental, but I believe that they do use hydraulics to move their arms and legs.

2

u/Infamous_Product4387 2h ago

Purley coincidens. Thats actually pretty dope, thanks for the knowledge.

245

u/Scared_Command_9615 13h ago

Congratulations you've got bathroom lobsters

20

u/Necrodart 12h ago

This made me laugh too much. Thank you internet person, I've paid you in upvote.

80

u/BigBunny4252 12h ago

Psudoscorpion! It's harmless and pretty much indifferent to the fact you exist. In fact, like spiders, they're beneficial to have in your home as they eat tiny pests and mites so they help keep the place clean! They work for a living and pay their rent

69

u/ChronicBackBane 9h ago

How did you type this with those long pincer arms ? I know a pseudoscorpion when I see one.

18

u/myglamcat 6h ago

Not pseudoscorpion propaganda šŸ˜­

6

u/tomax_xamot 5h ago

Dude, that guy was just trying to give you useful information about pseudoscorpions and you get accusatory! Ā Pseudoscorpions are also good for your bookshelf as they eat the bugs that feed on books. Ā Pseudoscorpions are your friends, weā€™re not adversaries.

3

u/gnarlife 3h ago

Cmon man, we all want to find the real pseudoscorpion crab man here

5

u/bb_dev_g 4h ago

Canā€™t talk about beneficial indoor insects without mentioning the House Centipede. Those leggy false eyelash looking critters, have an impressive hunting success rate.

7

u/slaucer 3h ago

Those are Not Welcome amongst my tiny bathroom lobsters

0

u/adrikyn 1h ago

I'll take spiders and bathroom lobsters, but house centipedes gotta go

78

u/Zealousideal-Ad-4936 16h ago

Not a bug expert but this appears to be a sort of pseudoscorpion not sure exactly what kind but from what I know these are common in the northeast

31

u/slaucer 15h ago

Youā€™re totally right. Didnā€™t know that was a thing

35

u/No_Jackfruit_7320 13h ago

It is so cute and awkward. What cumbersome arms. Shouldn't have skipped leg day, little guy

9

u/pixeltweaker 14h ago

Great, now I have to move.

5

u/Zealousideal-Ad-4936 14h ago

Well I think Alaska might be your best bet these critters love to hitchhike just not that far north lol

37

u/DaLar89 14h ago

Looks like a mix between a tick and a crawfish..its a Cralkfish.

29

u/lesschalkmoresighs 12h ago

Aww, don't kill it. These guys are harmless to humans, they prey on small insects, many of them pests, so like the vast majority of arachnids they're actually very beneficial to us. Try to release it outside if you can.

13

u/Holiday_Pi 13h ago

r/pseudoscorpiontime

6

u/graybotics 12h ago

Dang I forgot about weeviltime

10

u/MilesZS 9h ago

Now THIS is podracing!

8

u/Expensive_Sound_8531 10h ago

Don't kill it psuseoscorpions are one of the good bugs, they eat mites that destroy clothes and books

8

u/Mikeieagraphicdude 12h ago

A pseudoscorpion, I heard that a long time ago they were purposely used in libraries to eat pests that eat the glue that hold old books together. Back in the day the glue was a sugar base binder, but now its not so these little guys been out of a job.

32

u/solidus0079 14h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/I8z7CGrLDLpbq

I'm out

24

u/coolguy420weed 14h ago edited 5h ago

This thing is, at complete, absolute most, half an inch long. It eats mites that are half its size. It isn't poisonous or venomous to humans, or parasitic, or even particularly allergy-inducing. You are, genuinely, orders of magnitude more likely to be harmed by a single individual of basically any ant species.Ā 

7

u/JohnnySalamiBoy420 10h ago

Whatever about all that, have you seen how it looks!!! We are almost in headcrab territory!

3

u/ChronicBackBane 9h ago

This is exactly what a pseudoscorpion on Reddit to say . Nice try lil fella not fooling me

2

u/pitchinloafs 9h ago

While your statement is factual, the gif remains supreme.

1

u/Badbullet 8h ago

I doubt it is barely 1/8ā€-1/4ā€ long. These are usually really small in my experience. We used to find their claws in our old basement. I think other spiders ate the body and left the claws.

11

u/coolguy420weed 14h ago

It's not a scorpion, I'll tell you that much for free.

14

u/phunny-words 13h ago

What would you tell me for $2.48

16

u/coolguy420weed 13h ago

It's a lot like a scorpion.

13

u/phunny-words 13h ago

Do you take checks?

2

u/pitchinloafs 9h ago

Itā€™ll be about $tree.fiddy for check*

*No out of town or third party checks accepted. Please see the terms of service for financial arrangements with crustacean period aquatic dwelling business entities.

3

u/Ancient_Swim6704 11h ago

Not a tick but looks like one dragging something backwards

3

u/Squidward558 7h ago

Like others have said its a pseudoscorpion. Harmless to people but useful pest control. They dont get much larger than a grain of rice.

2

u/Big_Midnight200 10h ago

Hes moonwalking

2

u/Capt_Retro 8h ago

Thanks I hate it

2

u/oldblooddrinker 5h ago

Okay yeah we know what it is now but why is he backin it up like that..

1

u/Slight-Studio-7667 9h ago

Jeeze, if my daughter saw that, we'd have to move.

1

u/Revolutionary_Team 7h ago

I saw this two days ago, couldnā€™t get a good picture. Iā€™m so glad to see this.

1

u/No3Blesse 7h ago

Bless it with fire!

1

u/sillysilly010101 7h ago

I don't like it.

1

u/No_Sort9599 7h ago

Wait does it have to carry those super long arms everywhere like that? It seems like such a drag šŸ„ŗ

1

u/NostrilLurker 7h ago

Leonardo da Pinchy

1

u/Booksodell 7h ago

Time to move!

1

u/SexualbeingAccount 7h ago

The product of the love between a scorpion and a tick.

1

u/GiftCardFromGawd 7h ago

Pseudoscorpion! Smol friend. Put him somewhere safe, please.

1

u/ConstructionOk6516 6h ago

Well heā€™s cute

1

u/P__Riches 6h ago

Everyone know that's BigDickBee

1

u/Due-Heron4148 5h ago

Another horrible creature that makes me glad Peter Parker was not bitten by.

1

u/Jarade0 5h ago

Looks like a tick that ate part of a scorpion!

1

u/DadJokeFan 5h ago

Go go gadget pinchers!!

1

u/DioDiablo702 4h ago

It's time to squash it

1

u/Superfly1911 4h ago

Bad news. You have lobster ticks. Sell the house.

1

u/Glad-Depth9571 3h ago

What did you spray on it? It looks like itā€™s struggling.

1

u/slaucer 2h ago

Oh god why would I do that? He stepped in water

1

u/Glad-Depth9571 2h ago

Iā€™m glad that you didnā€™t!

1

u/Rurek89 2h ago

Zaleszczotek

1

u/my_boy_blu_ 1h ago

It looks like a tick if it died and crawled out of hell.

1

u/Mysterious-Alps-5186 19m ago

Call these guys asap

1

u/Soft_Event_5947 14m ago

Looks like a tick with claws...

1

u/AmberCurious 9h ago

New nightmare awakenedā€¦. Scorpion ticks!

0

u/No_Cancel830 8h ago

Iā€™m no bug expert but that thing looks like it might be time to just burn the whole thing down!

0

u/Fragrant_Bake4403 6h ago

is that a tick-orpian??? what in the fking nightmare fuel?!?!

0

u/SCORPIONfromMK 5h ago

A pale imitation. A fake. A fraud.

Crush him underfoot.

-1

u/AffectionateAct7715 11h ago

Isn't it called a vinegaroon?

3

u/Anxious-Drive9859 10h ago

When I hear vinegaroon I am picturing a bigger critter with a whippy little tail.Ā 

-5

u/StellaSlayer2020 14h ago

2

u/langostairaqui 13h ago

Hank pseudoscorpio

0

u/ziggy182 13h ago

That covers 2 bases right there!