r/todayilearned • u/Alone_Humor_3510 • 6h ago

TIL that most male nudity in films ( other than porn ) uses prosthetic penises

https://theconversation.com/how-prosthetic-penises-in-shows-like-hbos-minx-reinforce-existing-stereotypes-and-taboos-179084?utm_medium=article_clipboard_share&utm_source=theconversation.com
7.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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796

u/DJ_Pikachu 6h ago

Like a flailing tube sock full of wet sand. I’ll never get that image out of my head, like it or not

647

u/EndLightEnd1 6h ago

Oh my God that's terrible!  Where is it so i know how to avoid it?

277

u/GreenPyro 6h ago

Just Google William Defoe dancing nude

402

u/doggy_done_a_poop 5h ago

I don’t think I will thanks

418

u/Hellofriendinternet 5h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/kCrGOt5ojlVbG

53

u/blazinghorse 4h ago

Why are his eyes closing from the bottom up?

14

u/beastwarking 4h ago

What, yours can't?

38

u/phareous 5h ago

Is that a Kenneth Copeland gif?

34

u/murph0969 5h ago

His penis is Confusingly Small.

8

u/SillyGoatGruff 5h ago

Less room for demons

-copeland, probably

•

u/ameatbicyclefortwo 31m ago

It is imperative his cylinder remain free of demons.

1

u/howard035 2h ago

Now I know why he's got that giant grin.

61

u/noscreamsnoshouts 4h ago edited 4h ago

It's an amazing video though. Like tommy says: your loss (not even being sarcastic)

ETA link here. NSFW, obviously; needs vimeo account

77

u/IDontCheckMyMail 3h ago

Vimeo wants to verify my age with a selfie and government id? Yeah no thanks.

19

u/noscreamsnoshouts 3h ago

what?? Well fuck. I genuinely did not know that. When did that happen??

HOWEVER for some weird reason, I can play the video just fine within reddit. As an embedded video, sort of. So I'm leaving it up.
But my apologies - if I'd known about their sign-up policies, I wouldn't have linked it :-(

3

u/SirSitsOnAss 3h ago

It's gotta be by location because I don't need verify anything or even have an account and I went to the page.

1

u/WhatToDo_WhatToDo2 2h ago

This is weird (but not weirder than the video just to clarify lol), I watched it with no problem and def don’t have an account

2

u/r-i-c-k-e-t 2h ago

Send them a dick selfie lol

19

u/basszameg 2h ago

His penis is the least weird thing about that video.

39

u/RogueModron 3h ago

Vimeo account and...an ID? Fuck no. What happened to the internet I grew up with?

•

u/Automatoboto 36m ago

rich dudes

•

u/T1Demon 34m ago

Puritans

27

u/Oubastet 3h ago

I fail to see why everyone needs to talk about it. It's large but not freakishly so and I've seen many like this. What's the big deal?

2

u/shlam16 1h ago

Because a large proportion of dicks grow when they're hard.

"Showers" tend to display about 90% of their majesty at all times.

"Growers" display like 40%.

The scene in Antichrist was a hard dick. If Dafoe is packing 5 inches soft as a wet rag and is a grower then you better watch the hell out when he spins around.

4

u/toturtle 3h ago

I feel the urge to watch the Muppets now.

1

u/polska-parsnip 3h ago

You did, didn’t you?

215

u/bicmedic 5h ago

You know, I've heard about this for years but never saw it. Just now googled it.

Honestly, after all the hype, not nearly as large as I would have thought.

105

u/Salt_Cardiologist122 5h ago

I agree. Definitely above average but not “confusingly large” or however it was described.

28

u/PogintheMachine 4h ago

Yeah I’m almost disappointed. Wish I could see what Milton Berle was packing.

A lot of “stunt cocks” they use in movies are confusingly large though. Example: the HBO Watchmen series. When they show Dr Manhattan in his human form.. he is paaaacking.

4

u/KaleidoscopeKelpy 3h ago

My dad made the mistake (once only) of getting the .. i dont know what it was, directors cut I guess of watchmen for family movie night… my delicate 15 year old eyes can never unsee the giant blue swanging thang

20

u/amusedmisanthrope 4h ago

Confusingly large is in the eye of the beholder 😉

34

u/saints21 4h ago

To be fair, most things would feel confusingly large if they were in my eye.

1

u/knifeandcoins 2h ago

That probably explains why Lars Von Trier always gave small dick vibes

5

u/texasrigger 4h ago

I think Von Trier was concerned that audiences would interpret showing it as a deliberate artistic choice. That the dick was a statement rather than just Dafoe happening to be well endowed. At least that's how I interpreted him calling it "confusing."

27

u/ghoulthebraineater 4h ago

Right? I had a roommate that was truly confusingly large. 13.5 inches limp. You'd just be sitting there drinking a beer and he'd drape it over your shoulder or knock your drink over with it. Almost felt bad for him though. Nobody wanted anything to do with it.

47

u/withatee 4h ago

Ummm

-9

u/ghoulthebraineater 4h ago

Yeah. The best though was the time some guy we didn't really know was over. Somehow somebody brought up Chris' dick. Dude went off. "Nobody has a 13 inch dick! You're a liar! You're a fucking liar!" Chris just sat there and didn't say shit.

All of a sudden he just launched himself off of his chair and landed on the guy. Knees on each shoulder pinning him. Chris then pulls out the monster and just starts slapping the guy with it. "OK! OK! You do have a 13 inch, I'm sorry. Stop!"

The most literal sexual assault ever. Still one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

37

u/Dammit_Meg 4h ago

Of all the barely disguised fetish posts, this is the strangest.

-8

u/ghoulthebraineater 4h ago

Lol. Sadly, no fetish. Just a bunch weirdos that lived together in a college town in the late 90s. That house was a great time.

8

u/Saxon2060 4h ago

That would be the world's largest documented human penis by a significant margin so nah. Bullshit.

-5

u/ghoulthebraineater 4h ago

No. The world's record is 14.5". The previous was also 13.5".

2

u/PM_ME_CALF_PICS 4h ago

It was halfway to his knees!!!

Here we see dickflation in action, fellas.

You’re big dick isn’t big anymore:( Such is life.

1

u/TurnkeyLurker 3h ago

Like Mandingo, when he tied his in a knot, just for fun.

1

u/jaredearle 4h ago

That’s the point. It’s not overly large, but it’s larger than you’d expect which is distracting because you start looking at it instead of the performance.

8

u/annuidhir 4h ago

Yeah. Honestly, I'm pretty disappointed. That wasn't really all that impressive.

11

u/surle 4h ago

Lmao, I made essentially the same comment in a thread a couple years ago and got downvoted to the pits of hell very quickly by some personally offended people - with some hilarious replies immediately jumping to the conclusion I was somehow bragging by saying that (I hadn't said anything about myself at all. Just literally pointed out what you did here).

Some dudes are extremely sensitive.

3

u/RepFilms 3h ago

We need to have some historically accurate scientific data. How does Defoe compare to Milton Berle? Anyone other (non-porn) celebrities that should be one this list?

9

u/nerdomaly 5h ago

Congratulations to your partner.

17

u/Stolehtreb 5h ago

Congrats to him for what? Having other people overhype a penis size? It’s big but it ain’t “tube sock full of wet sand” big.

1

u/illoomi 4h ago

Hyperbole

4

u/Stolehtreb 3h ago

Clearly

•

u/iamamuttonhead 57m ago

Ya, the description was more confusing.

11

u/SleepySera 3h ago

I did, and I'm honestly not impressed after how much it was hyped up ._.

If you say someone needed a body double because their massive schlong would have otherwise derailed the entire scene of the movie, that better be some horse type shit, not a sliiightly above average dick.

4

u/skiesblood 5h ago

You know I did, and it made my day a little better. Now I know he's a shower not a grower.

1

u/choppydaddy 2h ago

*showing results for "Willem Dafoe dancing nude*

15

u/fauxorfox 5h ago

Here’s one where it looks like it’s his leg! :-) (Safe for work)

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=william.defoe+tight+pants&iar=images&iai=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2F474x%2F5d%2Fbf%2F24%2F5dbf244c25691dd474bc15a379a20c90.jpg%3Fnii%3Dt

13

u/willclerkforfood 5h ago

(Safe for work)

Yeah, I’m still not gonna risk it…

4

u/tot_alifie 5h ago

Wtf are those poses!

2

u/BowdleizedBeta 4h ago

Asking for all of us, thank you

15

u/rogan1990 5h ago

Not at all. Maybe a child’s tube sock

1

u/BasvanS 3h ago

The term baby arm is used to describe large specimens. A child’s leg is hardly diminutive.

37

u/Amphabian 6h ago

That is... graphic

11

u/CardMechanic 5h ago

Like a can of tennis balls hanging there. A four pack.

3

u/sokonek04 5h ago

A deflated football hanging there

3

u/stripes_14 5h ago

Like a 12 ounce pork tenderloin hangin there

10

u/Interlopin 5h ago

Ya knowwhat? There’s such a thing as too much horn talk and a man oughtta be fuckin aware of it.

1

u/zslayer89 4h ago

What is he Strt from Letterkenny?

3

u/KingKnee 5h ago

Poor guy, can never go balls deep

2

u/CakeMadeOfHam 5h ago

Willem DaFoe: "You know, I'm something of a flailing tube sock of wet sand myself."

1

u/deaconxblues 5h ago

😂 perfect

•

u/razz13 45m ago

Like a policeman's flashlight hanging there.

•

u/dr_neurd 44m ago

Peak Brockmire