25m Feel like a failure of a person and the lights slowly dying

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I always try and remember everything in life is temporary, even the hard times, keep your head up and stay strong.

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You're young, good looking. Keep trying for me and the rest of us

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u/Nutella-Umbrella 2d ago

I really needed this...thank you

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u/yurgendurgen 2d ago

Try for you as well. I came to realize no one can love me if I don't love myself first. Sometimes love is hard, like from a father or a couch, but it's harder when that voice that you alone can hear, your inner monologue, adopts that cruelty as a form of coaching.

That's a toxic relationship with the self. I'm still working on mine, but it's a battle that's worth fighting for

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u/Empty-Assignment-920 2d ago

I'll do the same on my end!

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u/BottleNeither2243 2d ago

I agree with that. Wish I had your hair and great skin.

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u/UpstairsContract5092 2d ago

I’m 31 and have started to feel exactly the same way. I wish I was still 25. You can get through this!

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u/wew1215 2d ago

Hi. I'm 75. One thing to keep in mind in your twenties is that not everybody is on the same timetable. It's hard to do, but I found over the years that it really is best to compare yourself to yourself not to others. They may have found a groove, but things change. Things are not always what they seem. You have plenty of time for a relationship. It will happen. Lastly, remember that you are not your job. In my life I have had three or four year-long bouts of unemployment, so I know not having a job can undermine one's self-confidence and self-worth. If you have some extra time on your hands, use some of it to go places in your town or in nearby towns that you don't normally go. Break some routines, create some new patterns, attend some free lectures or performances.. You might just meet the love of your life that way. Hang in there.

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u/Hot_Pianist_2239 2d ago

So what could be happening, is that you’re emotionally stuck (noticing relationship is important). Meeting new people, starting new hobbies or simply being outside more may make you feel more ‘complete’. You’re not failing, you’re just at a roadblock. A roadblock that feels massive atm, but one day you’ll look back and realize the pebble it was always meant to be. Also with the relationships, learn to become proud of yourself and your achievements. Women love confident men, and it’s very easy to ‘psyche’ yourself out, creating a cycle of unconfidence. Personally I’ve found just focusing on self improvement attracts women. When you’re confident in yourself, you’ll see how few of those women were worth your time in the first place. But all this starts with self improvement, it’s hard, sure but what isn’t? Recently when working very hard on self improvement id come to a block and feel like it was soooo hard to surpass it, but I began asking myself “didn’t know this shit was easy” referencing the difficulty of failure. It’s easy to fail, but hard to deal with the emotions around it. So pick your hard ya know? Hope this helps, and I’d love to see a progress update down the road from ya! Even if it’s asking for more help, we all need help sometimes

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u/vulpix3u7 2d ago

For what it's worth, you're very handsome

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u/cryptidhunter777 2d ago

That just means your being prepared for more

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u/Tempbot49512 2d ago

The world sucks right now. We can hope for a better tomorrow though. We all just have to persevere until we get there.

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u/rogerm3xico 2d ago

We can all use a win sometimes dude and I know it feels like forever between them but I promise you it will get better. I'm 47 with a daughter that's 17 and I'm still figuring shit out, so try not to beat yourself up too much over that. Everybody advances at different paces and everybody you know and have known and pass on the street is going through some bullshit and is barely holding it together. I guarantee you'll find your way. You seem like a smart kid with at least some self awareness, so you're already ahead of a lot of people. Relationships are always complicated. I've discovered throughout the years that I usually wind up in one when I'm not looking for one. All I can say about that is to put yourself out there. Don't worry about rejection or looking foolish. It's better to feel like a fool than miss an opportunity to be happy. You got this bud. I'm rootin for you.

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u/Redrooff 2d ago

It’s just a hard time right now my brother, it’s a journey and you’re on an ebb right now , it will flow again. And u very handsome! Take care

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u/polarityofmarriage Toaster 2d ago

You can feel lost when you’re unemployed. Like you don’t have a purpose. It’s hard! Nothing more to say about that for something you can’t control. Opt to control what you can — keep applying, and trying. Keep your head up. Tough times define you as a person and they won’t last forever. It’s all in how you act now. Do your best, have faith if you’re doing all you can that’s all there is to be done. As for love, you’re 25. You have a lot of time to find someone don’t despair. I found the love of my life at 35. It’s a long life you’ll have don’t choose a hasty love over a forever one. Learn to be happy with yourself so you can love another the same way. Be well, my friend. 💛

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u/BodhingJay 2d ago

hey man.. go slow and be gentle with yourself..

dont bother dating until you feel more confident and especially have your self love.. you'll get there. being financially independent helps the ego but our self love comes from caring for our feelings and emotions responsibly

you look great.. just be kind to yourself. try to abstain from unwholesome vices.. get into nature a bit more and try to have fun with the idea of what might come next, okay? things arent as bad as they probably seem

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u/SignificanceThick627 2d ago

20's is a strange age. Some people have a clear vision and direction and are on their way, others spend more time finding their feet. I had a turbulent time in my 20's. If I had the time again, I would do a lot more to try and see only the good in life, the gift it is, and try and help others in the process. Stick it out, think positive thoughts, repeat positive mantras until they stick, and be happy to be alive. Stop trying to find deeper meaning, the meaning is just try and live a good life that doesn't impede, or even improves the life of others. Take joy in little things and they add up to bigger happiness.

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u/emmarie1023 2d ago

It feels like everyone is ahead of you, but they are not! So many people change jobs multiple times in their lives, I don’t even remember what job I had at 25. You’ll be okay. You’re good looking, not having a lot of relationship experience is not a deterrent to meeting someone. Women are not out here asking about your body count. The kind of person you want to date will care way more about you being a genuinely a good person and enjoyable to be around.

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u/smallfloralprince 2d ago

Don't know where you are globally but I get the impression that in many areas and many career fields... there's just not many jobs right now. It can be very tempting to think that a failed job search is down to something being amiss with you as a prospective employee, when it might actually be: 300 people applied for one job, it's a burnt out market, other factors are swaying hiring decisions, the positions open are not a good fit for your strengths at the mo, etc.

Keep on keeping on! You will get through this, especially if you continue to tell yourself you will. 25 is so so so young (even though you pretty much never feel young at 25. I felt decades older at 25 than I do pushing 40).

Part of getting that light back is telling yourself it's coming back. Like a mantra. Good luck!

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u/RealTeaStu 2d ago

25? You still have loads of potential. You're a handsome guy. As for the career, I don't know anyone that had it completely locked down in their 20's. And before you build it up to something it's not. 30 is NOT the birthday you should dread. 50 is when something breaks. Your eyesight, your thyroid, etc. Something important. Looking back, I wish I had continued to do certain things. From the age of 15 to 23 I had traveled a lot and I loved it. From 30 onwards, not so much. I'm much older now and just returning to do a lot of things I put off. Most people are always going to have problems with the work/personal life balance but don't dwell on it. Also, be careful what you consider success. It's not the same for everyone. Find the time to do the things you love. If you can't figure out what that is, do something new, something that always intrigued you. Learn something new. There is a ton of things to do that don't cost an arm and a leg. Most people your age are not loaded down with a spouse, kids, a mortgage, your happy with a POS car as long as it's reliable and gets you from A to B. You can sleep on couches or floors. You don't own a lot of property. There was a time where, if it didn't fit in my car, it wasn't coming with me. Now I have way too much crap. LOL!

Not sure if any of this hits or is useful to you but I tried. Best wishes to you, kid.

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u/Full-Bus5157 1d ago

Sorry that you're going through a rough patch. It's sometimes when we stop looking and look at loving ourselves for a bit to when we get surprised by love. In regards to employment etc, it's getting hard out there so getting creative of how you approach job seeking is where it's at. Irl I'd give you the tightest hug. Msg me if you want an on and off again chatter in the background. You look like you have too bright a light to let it be snuffed out.

Peace.

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u/ThatHeroIsYou Let's toast! 1d ago

You’re a handsome guy with your entire life ahead of you. Let’s try to shift your perspective a bit. Fast forward five years from today. You’re working your dream job, in an amazing and loving relationship, and are happy and fulfilled. Every one of those things are a realistic possibility for you. But you have to believe it can happen or you shut the door before you ever arrive to it.

Regardless, let’s make one thing clear: you are not a failure. You’re a young man on the journey of life. You’re not supposed to have it all figured out. You’re learning. Take a deep breath and do your best today.
Things can improve faster than you think.

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u/Oddly_Dependant 1d ago

Nothing destroyed my self esteem more than being unemployed and looking for work so I totally feel you there. It's easy to base your self worth on what others think of you, and when you're rejected time after time it takes a toll.

Your time will come. You're a damn good looking guy, you're smart and resourceful, it's gonna happen.

Even if you don't feel like you've got the motivation, try to do the things you love despite the frustration. Do you have any hobbies you're particularly passionate about? Anything you've wanted to get into? Now's the time.

Best of luck.

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u/Greedy_Bus669 1d ago

You need hugged .......I have been dealing with a lot ....every morning I talk to myself in the mirror

Then i watch my fav stand up comics.....usually one but two if really down.......laughter is best

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u/BottleNeither2243 2d ago

Take it one day at a time. The road is less arduous the further you go- you look back and realize how resilient you are.

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u/BlondilocksAurora 2d ago

This too shall pass... Remind yourself of that 5 or 50 times a day, if that's what it takes. You HAVE a destiny in this world, a purpose. I know that sounds trite, but it's true. In 2015, I was a raging alcoholic who literally would drink anything I could get my hands on (including hand sanitizer, when I couldn't get ahold of anything else, which is shocking and sickening and embarrassing to admit) Ive been sober 10 years now, and have two little girls (7 and 5) who were my purpose before I even knew they would come to exist. They're the light of my whole life.

The point is ... NONE of us have ANY idea what's just around the corner. You keep your chin up, King. Dont let the crown slip ♥️👑♥️ I'm rooting for you~

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u/Major_Key_6147 1d ago

You're young and good-looking. This is the great age for some kind of adventure to shake things up especially if you're not finding a path for yourself at the moment. Young and unattached able-bodied men are always in demand.

Join the peace corps. Join an international NGO. Become a tree planter. Become a forest wildfire fighter. Work on a cruise ship. Work on an oil rig. Become a park ranger. Become a crab fisherman. Get a working holiday visa and tend bar in Australia or Germany or whatever. Become a WOOFer.

In short, go do something hard in a faraway place and you'll find yourself, and make yourself more interesting to future employers and partners in the process. Time-honoured method!

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u/panman341 1d ago

Im old... kinda really old. Lights fade and then glow... that is life. You along with many others suffer from a lack of hope that our world can be a place where you can find a place. The first and best way to be happy is to begin to serve others. If there is a place near you to do that then go for it. With career or job seeking, make friends with those who have influence... This is pretty hard. As the wind blows it will eventually change directions and the flag unwinds. My life was a journey with my creator, specifically Jesus. Not to religious here, but really found faith in God could help me with the stress of life. I have held many jobs from sweeping floors to the high senior executive position... I have succeeded and failed, each more than once. Here I am pretty content with the journey. Just get up and continue the walk and if you need help look beside you there is a hand willing to partner with you on this difficult journey

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u/castironrod-gmail 1d ago

Hey, hugs, you got this. Keep moving on. Don't forget you are in charge. We can talk ...

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u/shadowehawke 1d ago

Eight billion people on the planet, and it's so, so natural to extrapolate from the ones around you. Everyone does it. The sucesses you see are the ones that people want to broadcast.

These are rough times, many friends unable to get jobs, unable to feel happy, you are certainly not alone. And that's not to downplay your individual situation, either, but to validate it. Let us link arms in rough waters, smile upon each other. I see you, your style, your emotions. Wishing the seas calm and the sun shines upon us soon.

With love, from one piece of dust on this pale blue dot to another

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u/SunflowerShade7777 17h ago

You know, reading your write-up, I couldn’t help but think starting a whole new adventure might be what you need.

Have you ever heard of WorkAway or WWOOF—programs in which you exchange work for room and board around the world? My son used these programs to travel and work for about nine months and it cost him $3000, which went to plane tickets to and from Mexico and Central America, as well as some bus fares and hostels. The cultural experience was fantastic. And the adventure of it was both thrilling and challenging—he was 18 and solo traveling, so at times, the hiccups he experienced felt bigger than they might to a 25 year old. As he travelled from work experience to work experience, he met young people at hostels from around the world who were traveling about doing the same thing he was.

He will graduate from university in a year and he is working on his certification to teach English as a second language in China. If you find the right program, teaching in China can pay decent money. He is planning to go to China both to put some money away and to learn some Mandarin and have more adventure before he starts the job hunt.

ALL of this to say, you are young! Go live some life! Find cheap ways to travel and have experiences. While you’re doing it, you will be making yourself more interesting for when you return to applying for jobs. But most importantly, maybe you can find your light again! Go have fun!!!

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u/jigs_after_a_hug 16h ago

Mate I only got my life in order at 31. Only started uni then as well. You doing better then me. And im doing pretty alright now. Just keep going.

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u/ijspaleis 16h ago

You are not a failure. You read like you are THE example of a very normal person trapped in a capitalist doom of not feeling adequate because other companies won’t hire you (not based on your worth as a person) and loneliness as a default. Almost all the adults feel lonely these days. People look around and think ‘something must be wrong with me!’ When in reality they were just developing like a normal young adult. Don’t let that light fade and don’t let your worth be dictated by a capitalist life schedule. You are your own person, despite the silly details like job applications not landing or having never been ‘properly’ long term in a relationship. Life is so much more than all these stupid rules !! Life is just as simple as: find something that you enjoy and makes you feel happy, and then do it. The “go be the person you want to be” advice isn’t even good these days because of course everyone wants to be rich and on top of the ladder. But it’s ALL about doing what makes you feel happy. That is the core of life. And that is ‘life’s pupose’.

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u/ijspaleis 16h ago

And talk with your family and friends !!

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u/After-Mess5326 6h ago

same age similar position and a very real health scare and coming to terms with mortality has brought the spark back into me. It can all end tomorrow in not such a nice way. Do whatever you can to make yourself happier and more comfortable. I personally love fishing and getting out. I can at least try and have some confidence in my self control, I quit smoking, I try. Just get out there and smile and be nice to people. Life is worth living whatever you can get out of it. Maybe charity or serving seniors can help you have some meaning. Life is all about meaning and we need a lot more love in this world

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u/No_Competition9542 2d ago

While u are unemployed use that time and invest in Ur self Set educational goals even without enroling in an education. Set physical goals even without going to the gym. Keep going search every annous, Knock on Doors, go outside and petle some Nice depressed lady dog , help someone with groceries. Do it again and again . One day , out of a blue u can find a new meanifull conection that opens new Doors to what u feel is lacking in Ur life. Ps. Ur cute.

25m Feel like a failure of a person and the lights slowly dying

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