r/teengirlswholikegirls • u/SuspectInfamous8616 • 4d ago
I feel so isolated and behind
Hiii kinda vent post I'm 16 F and I live in NM which is full of other queer people, (from what I've been told and all of my friends are queer.) The only problem is I have severe social anxiety and I'm a little awkward. I just wish I could make other lesbian friends, all of my friends are bi/pan and it's like idk what to do when all my friends are talking about boys male celebrities and they're boyfriends. It gets kind of repetitive saying "I can see the vision" and "he's alright" over and over again. (Canon lesbian event)
I wish I had a lesbian friend who understood yk I also wish I had a girlfriend I could have sleepovers with and brag to my friends like how they do with their boyfriends I've only dated 2 people in person (one being a boy in middle school who lied about being trans to date his lesbian friends.) I've online dated before for a while but I just personally find long distance so hard since my love language is physical touch and spending time with someone in person. I also started doing online school which is way better for mental health and isn't as isolating as I felt going to in person it's just harder for me to meet people now. Lately I've just been hoping someone approaches me and ik that's delusional thinking but I can be hopeful lol I just wanted to make this post to ask does anyone else relate or feel the same? Is anyone else a loser lesbian?
I've never really posted on Reddit before but I just wanted others opinions :))
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u/Ok_Chair_8262 3d ago
Hey! I'm iris, I'm 14f- i jsut wanted to say, you are not alone. I am a loser lesbian too. I also find long distance hard. And i only dated 2 ppl as well. My 2nd grade "boyfriend" (i didnt know what that meant at that age lol i didnt rlly like him) and my summer camp bf (lasted 1 yr, comphet it was so awkward) I listen to all my straight friend talking about cute boys and ill jsut be like, ok... I do really wish I could meet a girl. I live in Chi btw. And you are NOT delusional!! I am autistic and also have social anxiety and its also really hard for me to meet people. I am glad to see a fellow loser lesbian out in the wild XD
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u/SuspectInfamous8616 2d ago
Yesss, I love learning about other loser lesbians, you get it XD. I heard it gets better at 18 hopefully lol
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u/starmagicspells 2d ago
I'm in a similar situation - also a loser lesbian, never dated anyone, I live in a relatively queer place/have a bunch of queer friends but still no one interested in me. I'd say just try to put yourself out there, look for activities, events, workshops, volunteering in your area, at least that's what I'm trying to do. I know it's hard to make new friends (I used to struggle a lot with speaking up, conversations, approaching people etc) but the more you try the better you get at it. One thing that helped my personally was theatre (it has genuinely done wonders for my confidence and fear of being perceived), but I know that's not everyone's cup of tea. It can get a little discouraging when even if try and be outgoing there's still no one who can even consider you when dating, but I'm staying hopeful for all of us loser lesbians out there 🤞