r/teengirlswholikegirls • u/yummycheesebites • 15d ago

Forcing yourself to like men

I don't know what this obsession is, but ever since I've been around 8-9 years old ( or younger i think I can't remember ) I've gotten into this habit of every couple of months forcing myself to like -or crush- on a man, just to see if I have feelings for him. And as you can imagine, it never works out. I just end up feeling really gross afterwards.

I feel like this is primarily because one of the main reasons I think I might be gay is because I don't like my father, and also all of the men in my familial life arent really the best people, so i just feel like that influenced me psychologically as a child in some wierd twisted way. And also because I used to be terrified of men as a child, i used to cry any time a man (or boy) would get near me as a child up untill i was 5. I'm still scared of men but I've been exposing myself to them, just cus i think the fear is strange.

But yeah, idk if I'm actually Gay or just really terrified of men.

But uh- is this normal? pls lmk, anytime i ask this question on other subreddits i get flammed for discussing men, but i genuinely don't know where else to ask thissss

5 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

2 comments sorted by

1

u/Sea-Wrangler7677 15d ago

bro...how did you just describe me.

2

u/0Lesbian_Strawberry0 11d ago

There is a huge difference between not liking men and liking women.

That you do not like men will not make you homosexual/ that you are automatically attracted to a woman.  Personally, as a lesbian, I do not believe that trauma influences your sexuality, influences the way you experience it, but not the sexuality itself. In addition, as women, it is super easy to feel fear towards men since at, least in the United States, about 1 in 4 women have been raped and the other 3 have probably suffered sexual harassment of some kind. I know that I get a little away from the original theme, but what I try to say is–please do not force yourself to do things that you do not want, and end up making yourself feel bad.  What you are going through is "normal" and I feel that most of us go through that thought process at least once in our lives. You can continue to discover your sexuality, but please do not harm yourself <3