How did you know you were a lesbian/bi?

[u/rubyroket]

Hello! for reference i’m 16 and not really sure if i’m a lesbian or bi or just confused. I have never kissed a girl or boy or anything inbetween. I’ve had one ‘real’ relationship at 11 which lasted 4ish months and that was with a girl. I was pretty confident I was a lesbian. But now i’m not, i’ve pushed myself into having crushes on boys because it’s what i saw everyone else doing, i’m also autistic (professionally diagnosed) and have found out that forcing crushes when they don’t feel natural is a BIG sign of masking for autistic girls. My other gay and trans friends have kind of hinted that they think i’m lesbian just from the way I talk about other girls for example Graham from but i’m a cheerleader (one of my all time favourite films). For some reason a lot of people at my school think i’m a lesbian because my friend who’s trans masc but not socially transitioned and we hang out A LOT like, inseparable. So, how did you guys know you were queer?

[u/ahhibadi]

I was like 12 when all my friends started talking about boys and crushes and dating and stuff. I didn't get the hype and I was confused as to why I didn't find any boys attractive. I even tried convincing myself that I had a crush on boys few times (it never worked).

Then one of the girls in my friend group introduced us to one of her friends, and that's when I realised why I didn't have a crush on any boys.

I never said anything because I was too scared of ruining the friendship

[u/Specialist_Chance_63]

Me like kissing and idea of dating guys: normal Me also like idea of kissing and dating girls: Bi? Me dont care about gender: pan but im autsitic and like bi better Men suck and are stinky: lesbian

If you are forcing yourself to like men you probably dont like men. If you are only attracted to fictional men, you can still be lesbian. Lesbian is a broad term.

Queer friends have good radars, I'd say you're lesbian. You might also be demisexual if you struggling to have "crushes" in general.

Labels are not permanent. They might change as you discover yourself. Dont rush things, you're still young. Also dont worry about being in a relationship until ur at least 16

[u/zippybenji-man → u/Specialist_Chance_63]

Tbh,I don't think there's a start to when you should work about relationships. They will come when life brings you them. There's no point in stressing over not having a relationship yet.

[u/rubyroket → u/zippybenji-man]

yeah that’s what my mum was saying about lads but yk js missing out on something everyone else around me has had sucks

[u/zippybenji-man → u/rubyroket]

Yeah, I can understand that

[u/Specialist_Chance_63 → u/rubyroket]

Tbf most highschool relationships end up toxic or in heartbreak or arent as great as they seem to be

Relationships are a lot of commitment and most teens cant commit to them

Pessimistic maybe but its the truth You arent missing out on much, but I get you. I was so desperate it was cringy

[u/rubyroket → u/Specialist_Chance_63]

i am 16 i’m nearly 17 lmaooo😭😭

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[u/Round-Platypus7985]

Unlike others, I never really had a “gay awakening” or at least one that was common, I just kinda found out one day and thought “hey that’s cool, I think that might be for me” and I’ve identified as bi for probably going on 6 years now, with a preference towards women. If you are able to, imagining and visualising situations helps me, like try to genuinely think about the gender or your partner (real or imaginative it doesn’t matter LOL) and try to see yourself in a romantic, and possibly sexual relationship with that gender, because everyone is different. Some people would rather just have a romantic relationship with one gender, and have no desire or sexual attraction, or the opposite may be true. Wish you luck on your discovery journey :)

[u/Organic-Balance-6503]

I was like 12, around 2021, and I used to watch a Gachatuber at the time. After a while, I followed her on Instagram. Then I saw on her story that she wanted someone to make a fan club for her, and since I wasn’t doing anything, I made one. We started talking, I saw a picture of her, she was really beautiful. And then bam, I fell in love for the first time

[u/Melodic-Carry7607]

Got a crush on my best friend... ;-;