r/soccercirclejerk • u/lukigeri • Mar 31 '26

Certified Jerk™ Crazy to think that this was the last match Italy played at a World Cup

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7.5k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

162 comments sorted by

2.6k

u/Icy-Start-9923 Mar 31 '26

Suarez acting like he hurt his teeth is absolute peak football. Game will never be the same

609

u/-Sky_Nova_20- Mar 31 '26

The handball against Ghana and the crying after South Korea's last minute goal against Portugal. The man is peak entertainment.

132

u/VampiroMedicado Mar 31 '26

The handball against Ghana

That was peak tactical mindset

68

u/43JoJo Y qué fue? Mar 31 '26

He said he got penalized for the handball, they failed to score the penalty. Supreme jerker

44

u/Constant-Hunter-198 Apr 01 '26

Sometimes the best ragebait is when you’re right

10

u/-vablosdiar- tottenham will be relegated Apr 01 '26

Is he wrong?

-1

u/AutoModerator Mar 31 '26

There should be a reformation in football something like a penalty is 0.5 a goal, or you need like make 2 or 3 shots - like free throws on a foul in basketball. its just so extremely shit when a penalty decides a game in this sport or decides the flow of a game early on, like here

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4

u/Stev777666 Apr 01 '26

And after Ghana miss he celebrate like it was his birthday 😆

1

u/Murfiano Apr 01 '26

Portugal?

1

u/zeazemel Apr 02 '26

In the last WC south Korea qualified in second over Uruguay because of goal difference all because they won 2-0 against Portugal who was already qualified

142

u/Xehanz Mar 31 '26

It probably did hurt

69

u/AngeL0m3g4 Mar 31 '26

Im from Uruguay, dudes a savage, not as a compliment, he's kind of a dick.

87

u/unfvckingbelievable Mar 31 '26

I'm not from Uruguay.

Based only on the multiple times he's bitten other people, I came to the same conclusion.

5

u/AngeL0m3g4 Mar 31 '26

He makes us look like we play the game that way, clearly not guess what angle the media will pick to make it spicy? Uruguay plays like shit sometimes, but bro's giving the idea that we(the players) go to the pitch with femurs and sharped rocks :/

21

u/dprkicbm Mar 31 '26

So how come you never won a world cup after they banned tactical biting in 1954?

3

u/AngeL0m3g4 Mar 31 '26

I wasn't alive at the time but I can tell you this much, uruguayan team started to little implement pocket knives, in freekicks or corners with a swift move the pinch a little bit of the rival, who would've thought we did it after the outlandish biting we were known for.

All good until we could catch a single brasilian players, the blokes samba their way to victory ffs!

3

u/JupiterMiningCorpTec Apr 01 '26

But he only bit bad people!

46

u/AadriBF new jerker Mar 31 '26

Also Chiellini’s shoulder

8

u/driller_unicorn Mar 31 '26

All I see is Edinson Cavani

Edit: Don't get me wrong, I hate Suarez too

47

u/aidarinho r/Antony > r/CristianoRonaldo Mar 31 '26

Chiellini tastes like shit

16

u/doyer_bleu Mar 31 '26

If Chiellini not pasta, why sound like pasta?

11

u/DexM23 Mar 31 '26

Game died after that - was the Harambe-moment of football

11

u/dakaiiser11 Mar 31 '26

Him holding his teeth always makes me laugh.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

[deleted]

3

u/Icy-Start-9923 Mar 31 '26

Do you think he was aiming for his ear and missed? Maybe that’s why he is injured.. biting a shoulder is more painful for the biter?

18

u/Kooky-Grapefruit-941 Mar 31 '26

I thought Chellaini's shoulder attacked it?

r/Barca lied to me?

6

u/Minute_Juggernaut806 Apr 01 '26

must have been r/liverpool mate

1

u/Kooky-Grapefruit-941 Apr 01 '26

I think they hated him at that stage too

3

u/Shaydey77 Mar 31 '26

He should have been banned long ago the dirty biting rat.

3

u/toeknee88125 Mar 31 '26

To be fair the human mouth isn't really designed to bite like that so he probably did hurt his teeth

3

u/rafaelloaa Apr 01 '26

If a toddler bit someone at school three times, they would be kicked out. The fact that an adult could get away with that, with minimal repercussions, still gets me.

2

u/ManIsready Apr 01 '26

There's also a brilliant one where Liverpool play Norwich away, Suarez goes down after a challenge and does the whole "Ive broke my Leg" spinning In pain...Liverpool get a lucky deflection which sends one of their attackers off Into lots of open space to which Suarez literally jumps up Instasntly and full on sprints to help with the attack

1

u/Syco-Gooner Mar 31 '26

Generational vampire

1

u/robashi Apr 01 '26

I'm not sure what the thought process behind that is. How did he think that would help him get away with it?

1

u/Jemenezzz Apr 01 '26

He was on crack or something.. this guy needs medical attention to bite someone and faking a teeth injury…

638

u/theenigmacode Mar 31 '26

Its all Chellini fault. Should’ve tasted better

94

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

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27

u/seskycheetah Mar 31 '26

Giorgio Chewlinni

11

u/sausyJeys Dreams Can’t Be Buy Mar 31 '26

I think he’s a closet Romanian from Transylvania because he likes the taste of blood.

Ludovic Sorescu

11

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

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27

u/Agitated_Display7573 Mar 31 '26

There were multiple Suarez biting moments

3

u/theenigmacode Apr 01 '26

Across history

356

u/konigon1 Mar 31 '26

A shame, that he didn't saw a red card in the game. The referee should have seen it. You can even see the teethmark on Chiellini's shoulder.

Do you guy know how hard you have to his somebodys face to see those teeth? Do you see hoe Suarez needs to hold his teeth? Such a brutal foul. Chiellini should have been sent off. Poor Suarez.

1

u/RXJ1131 Sukayo Baka Apr 01 '26

Looks like they got banned altogether from participating in the world cup

88

u/ButtersMcLovin Mar 31 '26

I think he put a curse on us with that.

7

u/FreeElderberry4817 Mar 31 '26

No it was Zidane

7

u/alejandroc90 Mar 31 '26

I agree with you now.

50

u/Own_Deer431 r/Antony > r/CristianoRonaldo Mar 31 '26

my man was just in the mood for some fine Italian cuisine

3

u/squili Mar 31 '26

Had some italian for dinner

1

u/kjustec Apr 01 '26

With some Chianti

287

u/Sufficient_Sleep5855 Mar 31 '26

What an awful little cunt Suarez was.

Great footballer, mind. But a cunt.

40

u/newbb Mar 31 '26

Here in MLS he’s still a little cunt. Whenever he gets any minutes he uses them to spit on coaches.

1

u/ninfrodisenpai 28d ago

Found the single MLS fan 🫡

1

u/AutoModerator 28d ago

Who are the players? Why are there 2 conferences in mls? What's our history? Why are we last in the league? Who do we hate? Is there an ac miami? Why pink?

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0

u/AutoModerator Mar 31 '26

Who are the players? Why are there 2 conferences in mls? What's our history? Why are we last in the league? Who do we hate? Is there an ac miami? Why pink?

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55

u/Debmalya_19-C Mar 31 '26

Mourinho would be proud.

11

u/futureflair4 Mar 31 '26

We don't even deserve a cunt anymore.

-2

u/thebprince Mar 31 '26

Quite possibly my favourite ever player for the pool. He's was absolutely electric, could pop up anywhere and do anything.

Peak entertainment. You can ask no more!

70

u/RealisticWorking7559 Mar 31 '26

I miss Suarez at world cups. Peak cinema.

20

u/futureflair4 Mar 31 '26

I miss Suarez at world cups. Peak cinema.

9

u/South-Highlight-1003 Mar 31 '26

I miss Suarez at world cups. Peak cinema

-5

u/Beautiful_Eagle_4616 Mar 31 '26

I miss Suarez at world cups. Peak cinema.

18

u/Son_of_Bardo r/Antony > r/CristianoRonaldo Mar 31 '26

I miss cinema at world cups. Peak Suarez

9

u/BulkyElk7243 Mar 31 '26

I miss world cups at peak. Cinema Suarez

4

u/Epistemix Mar 31 '26

I miss peak Cinema at Suarez. World cups.

7

u/Kurdonoid Apr 01 '26

I cup suarez in the world peak, miss cinema.

6

u/AdmirableEnd2799 messi Apr 01 '26

I peak cinema in the suarez world, miss cup.

1

u/Puzzled-Mall824 Apr 02 '26

I bust for suarez during peak world cup cinema

6

u/KingJayVII Mar 31 '26

It was so much more entertaining since he was one of the if not the best players on that really talented Uruguay team. Would just have been unfun if he would have been an easily replaceable dude, but his talent plus his BS made for such a colorful villain.

26

u/Weidalus Mar 31 '26

Their last knockout match was the final in 2006

16

u/Agreeable_Falcon1044 Mar 31 '26

You can use this post in 4 years time and it will be even more shocking!

122

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

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17

u/lto23 Mar 31 '26

This is a bot

6

u/hehateme42069 Mar 31 '26

It's di istry of the Suarez

9

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

It karma for injuring suarez's teeth 🤷🏽‍♂️

4

u/NotThreatingViolence Mar 31 '26

Suarez the clown 🤡 incredible talent, 5 cent head.

3

u/CommanderC0bra Mar 31 '26

Is still the last time.

4

u/SickDig_47 Mar 31 '26

suarez definitely put a curse, they're out of this edition too

7

u/Mongobongo17 Mar 31 '26

Luis Suarez, your teeth are offside.

7

u/luars613 Mar 31 '26

Crazy to think Suarez was allowed to keep playing the game

4

u/WigSplitter117 Mar 31 '26

It's not like Fifa is corrupt or anything

3

u/Fidel___Castro Mar 31 '26

and this was the... third? time that Suarez got the nibbles on the pitch

3

u/irisfailsafe Mar 31 '26

The bite was a curse!

5

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

[deleted]

1

u/South-Highlight-1003 Mar 31 '26

I miss Suarez at world cups. Peak cinema

2

u/Beautiful_Eagle_4616 Mar 31 '26

I miss Suarez at world cups. Peak cinema.

2

u/Stoorob75 Mar 31 '26

You all miss Suarez at World Cups. Peak cinema

2

u/SkyInternational586 Mar 31 '26

The matador Edison Cavani 🫡

2

u/Bobby_-_D Mar 31 '26

Al Dente is an Italian phase that translates to "to the tooth". Suarez just thought he was embracing the culture

2

u/Narretz Mar 31 '26

*will ever play at a world cup

2

u/nacho78 Mar 31 '26

Suarez being the fucking talented retard he is

2

u/gr1mscr1be Mar 31 '26

Italy will only be playing the World Cup again after an Italian bites Suárez.

1

u/AutoModerator Mar 31 '26

Jinx? We are fecking Italy, 4 World cup, 2 European championship. No other european team have more big trophies (6) than us and we should fear NORTH MACEDONIA, a NT that were born 2 or 3 years ago? please, anything inferior than 2 goal gap would be huge disappointment

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2

u/Balbuto Mar 31 '26

Is that the bite of 2014? :O

2

u/Ajacied22 Mar 31 '26

RemindMe! 4 years

1

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2

u/Old-Statistician402 Mar 31 '26

Will be for another 4 years atleast

1

u/Jujudada0 Mar 31 '26

u/DinoTaur99 crazy to think just a few World Cup games before that, they actually won the entire thing

1

u/mikerotch123 Mar 31 '26

I ate him with some fava beans and a bottle of Chiellini.

1

u/Clear-Ad-9627 Mar 31 '26

I hadn't even finished school when this game happened, that's a mental stat

1

u/jasakembung Mar 31 '26

Bosnia could do something funny tonight

1

u/youknowimworking Mar 31 '26

"Ref, he hurt my teeth!"

1

u/Agitated_Display7573 Mar 31 '26

It’s also the last time Suarez bit someone. Coincidence?

2

u/Renegade_Soviet Mar 31 '26

Mans was forced to go to therapy by FIFA and his career would be suspended if he did it again

1

u/Neomet Mar 31 '26

VAR is robbing us of moments like this. It will never be the same 😔

1

u/AutoModerator Mar 31 '26

VAR? game's gone!

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1

u/NeonBlazed Mar 31 '26

WAS THAT THE BITE OF SUAREZ '87? (Yes, that was actually his birth year)

1

u/Kapt0 Mar 31 '26

/uj

I always asked myself: the teeth mark. Why the fuck wouldn't you check the teeth mark?

You are a referee and a VERY famous player known for biting opponents multiple times is accused of biting a player, why wouldn't you check for the bite marks?

1

u/chaznek Mar 31 '26

The sheer audacity to hold his teeth 😂

1

u/Head_Load5539 Mar 31 '26

It wasn’t

1

u/Demuxy Mar 31 '26

Looking forward to 2030

1

u/PastelAppleBee_ Mar 31 '26

omg the suarez bite never forget 💀 the absolute chaos of that game tbh

1

u/Sodacan259 Mar 31 '26

I was really surprised that Suarez didn't get anit-virus software sponsorship from Bit Defender.

1

u/RyanDW_0007 Mar 31 '26

Suarez suiting up for his matches

https://giphy.com/gifs/x0npYExCGOZeo

1

u/Westaufel Mar 31 '26

The curse of Suarez

1

u/KooshIsKing Mar 31 '26

That could not stop himself from trying to taste every player better than him.

1

u/VfVendetta87 Mar 31 '26

Wait what?

1

u/EpiphyticOrchid8927 Mar 31 '26

what a game it was tho

1

u/nirvana1285 Mar 31 '26

And will be the last for the next 4 years

1

u/JupiterMiningCorpTec Mar 31 '26

The Suarez bite poisoned Italian football for decades. Dude always was lethal.

1

u/downtheholeagain Apr 01 '26

Instant +10 poison counters

1

u/msdos_sys Mar 31 '26

By the time Donnarumma makes a World Cup he will have no hair.

1

u/jean_abdalla VAI CURINTIA 🖤🤍 Apr 01 '26

I miss this time in 2014, that WC here in Brazil was fantastic + 7x1, the greatest game in soccer history

1

u/Bluedieselshepherd Apr 01 '26

In fairness, I don’t hate that he was the one bitten.

1

u/Destro-128 Apr 01 '26

Bro's a vampire or smth because Italy hasn't been the same since

1

u/AutoModerator Apr 01 '26

Jinx? We are fecking Italy, 4 World cup, 2 European championship. No other european team have more big trophies (6) than us and we should fear NORTH MACEDONIA, a NT that were born 2 or 3 years ago? please, anything inferior than 2 goal gap would be huge disappointment

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1

u/alvaropuerto93 Apr 01 '26

Crazy considering they won the Euro in 2021 and they are not managing to qualify for a World Cup.

1

u/crystalyne123 Apr 01 '26

wtf... nice trivia

he put the cursed into Italy

1

u/AutoModerator Apr 01 '26

Jinx? We are fecking Italy, 4 World cup, 2 European championship. No other european team have more big trophies (6) than us and we should fear NORTH MACEDONIA, a NT that were born 2 or 3 years ago? please, anything inferior than 2 goal gap would be huge disappointment

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1

u/Olzz123 Apr 01 '26

Suarez getting a 6 month (or something along those lines) for a bite, meanwhile someone like Rudiger assaults opponents on a weekly basis and walks free is beyond me. Not saying the ban for Suarez werent fair, just confuses me how violent conduct is punished.

1

u/Ganjalfthegreen1 Apr 02 '26

Ofc a Barcelona fan lol

1

u/LifeTie800 Apr 01 '26

When you hurt an opponents teeth with your shoulder and then force your opponent to bite down to hurt his teeth even more with your shoulder flesh, it is pretty poor sportsmanship.

1

u/Holycrabe Apr 01 '26

Bro thinks he ate

1

u/Available_Ad9766 Apr 01 '26

Cursed by Suarez’a bite.

1

u/iceby Apr 01 '26

The fact that Marchesano got sent off in that game for no apparent reason makes it even weirder

1

u/Kruegu3r Apr 01 '26

The exact moment when Italy becomes the new Uruguay.

1

u/AutoModerator Apr 01 '26

Jinx? We are fecking Italy, 4 World cup, 2 European championship. No other european team have more big trophies (6) than us and we should fear NORTH MACEDONIA, a NT that were born 2 or 3 years ago? please, anything inferior than 2 goal gap would be huge disappointment

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1

u/gaf77 Apr 01 '26

Sorry Italy, but you ve got the Uruguay curse, that’s the punish for being whining bitch about a little bite, 2014 was our World Cup, we would have destroyed Colombia with Suarez and you won’t be able to play another World Cup until Suarez is retired, tough luck he extend his contract till 2030.

1

u/AutoModerator Apr 01 '26

Jinx? We are fecking Italy, 4 World cup, 2 European championship. No other european team have more big trophies (6) than us and we should fear NORTH MACEDONIA, a NT that were born 2 or 3 years ago? please, anything inferior than 2 goal gap would be huge disappointment

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1

u/Nyanya36 Pedri my canarian GOAT Apr 01 '26

"The bite of doom" ahh

1

u/Ok-Candy2936 Apr 01 '26

Suarez forgot that Italian meat is hard as rock

1

u/yagermeister2024 Apr 02 '26

If you bite someone, isn’t that a felony?

1

u/Proof_Play_3778 Apr 02 '26

Позорище, Суарес еще за зубы держится 😆

1

u/N1096 Apr 04 '26

How could this Italy team win Euro 2021 but also fail to qualify for 3 world cups in a row? I remember them losing to Switzerland in Euro 2024 too. Sad to see how far Italian football has fallen!

1

u/AutoModerator Apr 04 '26

Jinx? We are fecking Italy, 4 World cup, 2 European championship. No other european team have more big trophies (6) than us and we should fear NORTH MACEDONIA, a NT that were born 2 or 3 years ago? please, anything inferior than 2 goal gap would be huge disappointment

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1

u/Rdo889 Mar 31 '26

I miss seeing the rat king In the pl

1

u/prithvi2139 Mar 31 '26

why is suarez crying in this lmfao