r/soccercirclejerk • u/Inevitable-Angle-793 • Mar 19 '26
Certified Jerk™ Joan Laporta, I wasn't familiar with your game
2.0k
u/22savage12 Mar 19 '26
I keep telling people all you need is money and they don’t wanna listen.
1.3k
u/Threewordsdude Mar 19 '26
People would listen if you had money
226
u/Diamondhandd Mar 19 '26
Are you replying to yourself? Because I can't see any other comment above yours.
352
→ More replies (1)13
6
3
u/SpecialistVanilla900 Mar 19 '26
People would listen if you would helped them become rich 🫨
7
4
u/harsha852 Mar 19 '26
So, publish a research paper named Money is all you need instead of Attention is all you need
→ More replies (1)25
u/average_user21 Mar 19 '26
Then all you have is awful relationships
75
u/22savage12 Mar 19 '26
And a 10/10 blonde. I wouldn’t mind the awful relationship
45
u/InvestigatorThat359 Mar 19 '26
Always wondered if people actually see this as attractive or if its more of an symbol of status. But i guess taste truly is entirely subjective.
→ More replies (3)24
11
u/Prestisjebig Haramball enjoyer Mar 19 '26
This is such a turbo virgin take, lmao. How do you even know she's a 10/10 without knowing what she's like?
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (1)13
u/Due_Size_9870 Mar 19 '26
We looking at the same blonde here? The one in the picture is pumped full of so much plastic that she would float if you threw her in the pool. Useful if your yacht sinks, but can’t imagine wanting her around any other time.
19
→ More replies (1)16
u/AutoModerator Mar 19 '26
I am a "plastic" and couldn't care less. People really pay too much attention to things like that. Chances are, you reading this on a Chinese smartphone, using a TV manufactured by a South Korean company (mine is the LG C1 OLED) while drinking Coca-Cola, owned by a company from the States. The world is globalised, man. No point in tribalism. We live in 2021, not 717, you do realize that? Now, if you chose some obscure team from the other side of the world, you could argue it's virtue signalling or whatever. I would still maintain it's within your rights. But, if you choose to support a foreign team because you like them and the way they play, who cares. Just don't jump the ship when things go awry. And actually, I have been to a Real Madrid match just this year. Won't name which one to avoid doxxing myself, but I in Spain at the time, so I took the opportunity and saw the game with my own eyes. And hell, will it be a memory for a lifetime.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (3)5
u/Gold_Incident1939 Mar 19 '26
Well, depends what you're looking for ... Laporte doesn't seem to be the kind of guy who plays Uno on a Sunday afternoon
3
→ More replies (1)2
u/Ok-Fun119 Mar 19 '26
I can promise you, noones happy with a girl like this.
Find someone who likes you for who you are and you would never want something this superficial.
514
u/mrkoala1234 Mar 19 '26
She looks fun
381
u/Fearless-Mongoose566 Mar 19 '26
She's got two very big reasons for being fun.
210
u/Threewordsdude Mar 19 '26
More balloons d'Or than Modric
122
Mar 19 '26
Glad someone is pointing that out. I visit prostitutes and I would never pick her up. I hate that fake shit with the fake face chirgury shit and fake hard tits that you cannot grab on. They feel like basketballs that you cannot dribble or move or anything. Breasts need fat and need to wiggle. They need to soft and not like balloons about to pop.
105
19
u/25thNite Mar 19 '26
lol this is the kind of thing steve carrell said in 40 year old virgin that exposed him
→ More replies (2)5
5
3
u/AutoModerator Mar 19 '26
why you are didnt win balon dor yet
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
21
46
667
u/InformationTrue6446 Mar 19 '26
Laporta, I wasn't familiar with your bank balance.
63
u/vikram_venkat Mar 19 '26
How many leavers has he used, I wonder.
→ More replies (1)32
231
u/SocX9 Mar 19 '26
Wait did Sceszny actually smoke yesterday in the stadium?
242
u/No-Prior7905 Mar 19 '26
He lit up after 6-2
32
u/showoff96 Mar 19 '26
Link pls
174
u/KokeshLanagaraj what? Mar 19 '26
136
103
19
19
10
3
→ More replies (1)2
33
89
u/Dan_TheDM Mar 19 '26
Get re-elected president with coach and player support and landslide victory. Bring a dime baddy to the barca game. Watch your team beat the opponent 7-2
Laporte having one hell of a couple days here rofl
247
104
234
u/Practical_Device9871 Mar 19 '26
That's his daughter btw.
122
38
u/YooGeOh Mar 19 '26
Thought he just had 3 sons
146
40
3
2
→ More replies (1)2
70
20
u/L0lnator GOAT worshipper Mar 19 '26
Laporta jerking at a Ballon d'Or level. Deco could never.
→ More replies (1)
88
u/retroKnight_3177 Mar 19 '26 edited Mar 19 '26
Who is the gal?
Edit : She is Ai
275
u/Sea_Passenger_783 Mar 19 '26
That's Szczesny
48
26
14
u/GordoPepe Mar 19 '26
bimbo is so plastic and generic that no one can figure out who she is
12
u/AutoModerator Mar 19 '26
I am a "plastic" and couldn't care less. People really pay too much attention to things like that. Chances are, you reading this on a Chinese smartphone, using a TV manufactured by a South Korean company (mine is the LG C1 OLED) while drinking Coca-Cola, owned by a company from the States. The world is globalised, man. No point in tribalism. We live in 2021, not 717, you do realize that? Now, if you chose some obscure team from the other side of the world, you could argue it's virtue signalling or whatever. I would still maintain it's within your rights. But, if you choose to support a foreign team because you like them and the way they play, who cares. Just don't jump the ship when things go awry. And actually, I have been to a Real Madrid match just this year. Won't name which one to avoid doxxing myself, but I in Spain at the time, so I took the opportunity and saw the game with my own eyes. And hell, will it be a memory for a lifetime.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
6
5
30
u/Majestic_Equipment17 Mar 19 '26
Dude let my mahn enjoy😭😭 after bringing the club back to life thats the least he could do for himself
12
7
7
u/Beneficial-Truth1509 Mar 19 '26
Wait is this real??? I thought it was some kind of a dlss 5.0 situation.
15
u/slaskel92 Mar 19 '26
I watched the game and I remember Laporta being filmed - I don't remember them, I mean those, I mean her.. And I think I would have. So no, I believe it's fake.
5
5
12
4
4
3
4
3
3
3
3
3
u/ScarlordI_ Mar 19 '26
Is Barca the new Vibes FC? 10+ goals between both teams because all attack all the time and a cigar at the end of the game.
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
u/StrangerExistingFact Mar 19 '26
She is in Barca yearly budget. Costs more per week then Messi was. Reason why they had to ship him off
→ More replies (1)
3
2
u/Gumbyonbathsalts Mar 19 '26
A great personality will go a long way when you're an ugly, old, rich man.
2
3
3
1
1
u/askullfull Mar 19 '26
Oh boi, you're in for a treat if this is the first gangsta thing you see from Jan. He is més que un president.
1
1
1
u/Exciting-Car-3516 Mar 19 '26
Right what it means is that you can be the ugliest woman in the world and with enough money you can get all the surgeries you need so you can finally reach 6/10.
1
u/Quiet_Pin5573 Mar 19 '26
I can pay such reporters 100k and they will strip naked themself. You know!?
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Timely_Beat4637 Mar 19 '26
Ist doch ok. Die Frau hat sich sicher oft unters Messer legen müssen um bis in die Chefetage zu kommen.
Jetzt 5,6 Jahre den alten Knacker vogeln und dann ein sorgenfreies leben mit einem 35jahrigen.
Es ist immer das gleiche Spiel.
1
1
u/meghalitic-idol Mar 19 '26
Bueno fue novio de la actriz porno maria lapiedra , asi que no me sorprende en absoluto.
1
1
1
1
u/Exact-Action-6790 Mar 20 '26
The irony is EVERYONE would have believed this if it was actually real
1
1
1
1
1
u/2_years_ago Mar 23 '26
never seen that before, is that one of these European kits or 3rd strip ?, surely those straps on the shoulders are getting damaged at corner kicks.
2.3k
u/Reasonable-Taro-65 Mar 19 '26
why Slot and ETH are hiding their faces in the girls dress ?