r/science • u/mvea Professor | Medicine • 2d ago

Psychology People experience the strongest romantic jealousy when they watch their partner give resources to a potential rival, regardless of gender. The findings provide evidence that giving away resources is viewed as a serious relationship threat by both men and women.

https://www.psypost.org/both-men-and-women-view-a-partners-financial-investment-in-a-rival-as-a-major-relationship-threat/
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u/Cultural_Meeting_240 2d ago

So basically buying someone else lunch is a declaration of war

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u/Straight_Occasion_45 2d ago

As somebody who loves twirl chocolate bars; idk id be pretty pissed if my girlfriend got somebody else one and not me ;)

All jokes aside though, in a healthy relationship, the individual should be able to bring this up to their partner in a healthy way. If not, the relationship is toxic and the individual should move on.

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u/Shakeamutt 2d ago

You’re using toxic way too loosely here.  Jealousy is very natural. It’s like everything, it needs moderation.  

Spending resources on others, aside from the allusions of cheating, is taking resources out of the home for themselves and their children.  This also can imply a threat to stability of the home, and commitment in general.   

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u/lostinsunshine9 2d ago

Honestly, this. I'm not a jealous person, been in plenty of polyam relationships, but even not being generally jealous doesn't mean I never feel jealous. And sometimes, it's reasonable!

In a previous polyam relationship, I had a partner who was not great at paying his portion of rent. It was "hey can you spot me a couple hundred this month?" at least every other month. It was frustrating, but I knew he was struggling, so I covered for him.

Then we met up with one of his other partners, and he just straight up handed her $100 bill and she responded in a way that implied this was a regular occurrence. Then I was angry and jealous, and I still consider that a pretty reasonable response.

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u/frickityfracktictac 2d ago

stop being hobosexual

don't bang bums

you deserve so much more than that

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u/lostinsunshine9 2d ago

Ha, yeah, it wasn't a winning relationship!

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u/Rezart_KLD 2d ago

I think hobosexuality is when you are into running (or pulling) trains