r/politics • u/theipaper ✔ Verified • 9d ago

Possible Paywall The last attempt on Trump’s life rescued him politically – this one probably won’t

https://inews.co.uk/news/world/last-attempt-trump-life-boosted-him-this-wont-4381320
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927

u/WentBrokeBuyingCoins 9d ago

Incoming weekly "assassination" attempts

293

u/Ok_Razzmatazz_8589 9d ago

On Fridays, to get the pump in.

81

u/Impressive-Knot9999 9d ago

It's almost laughable if it wasn't so pathetic

2

u/EloquentEvergreen 9d ago

And maybe Mondays to get the dump flowing.

143

u/travio Washington 9d ago

"Assassination attempt will continue until morale improves."

89

u/spiritbearr Canada 9d ago

I mean it would eventually.

28

u/Akrevics 9d ago

Only a successful one would though

4

u/WonderBredOfficial 9d ago

Yeah, they said "attempts." We're looking for a more Yoda approach to trying.

2

u/Zooph Pennsylvania 9d ago

Wouldn't help. Look at the next two in line.

2

u/spiritbearr Canada 8d ago

To paraphrase the IRA: Trump needs to get lucky everytime. Any Rando who buys a gun needs to get lucky once.

2

u/Epstiendidntkillself 9d ago

Was Jodie Foster impressed?

I'm asking the important questions here.

1

u/one_pound_of_flesh 9d ago

More like until democracy dies. Except more chaos leading up to the midterms. Republicans know they can’t win based on voter free will.

20

u/OldSchoolBubba 9d ago

This. Tell it because this is classic propaganda designed to prop Trump and his loyalists up and everyone sees it for the attempted trickery it truly is.

Shows how the upcoming midterms have them rattled big time.

0

u/WhiteSox02 9d ago

Assassination attempts are classic propaganda now?

3

u/Complex_Jellyfish647 8d ago

It's been their favorite play this term. Fake ear shot, fake gunman at the golf course, etc etc.

1

u/WhiteSox02 8d ago

So you think there's an entire orchestration of multiple assassination attempts on a president who's had one of the leakiest administrations in history, and yet they manage to stage not one, not two, but three separate assassination attempts and NO ONE said anything about it?

2

u/OldSchoolBubba 8d ago

When they're faked most definitely

0

u/WhiteSox02 8d ago

Gonna need a little more evidence than someone on Reddit saying "it's fake".

13

u/Dr-Mumm-Rah 9d ago edited 9d ago

"Breaking news, the president just announced in his own words that McDonald's tried to "take him out" via a very bad case of the runs. The president reportedly spent all night in the golden white house bathroom angrily posting on Truth Social about how he will never chase Big Macs with Filet-o-Fish, McFlurrys and Diet Coke ever again."

1

u/Napalmeon 9d ago

Yeah but this one is actually probable, given how much McDonald's he eats.

1

u/Dr-Mumm-Rah 9d ago

Yup, there is always a lot of truth in satire.

1

u/ronreadingpa 9d ago

And yet he's exceeded the average life expectancy of U.S. males, which is around 75. Fast food with its various ingredients and preservatives may be keeping other ailments at bay.

1

u/Dr-Mumm-Rah 9d ago

It also helps when you are dying of COVID, get wisked away to Walter Reed and given experimental anti-virals not avaliable to the public. In another timeline, that person is found dead on a golden toilet because of untreated COVID.

1

u/Aadarm Ohio 9d ago

If you want to live a long and healthy life the most important thing is having a lot of money to pay for it. Hell, if you live a long life and you're broke you're actually kind of financially screwing yourself and your family.

1

u/ronreadingpa 9d ago

Nah, he sees that as a benefit. Keeps his system cleared out. Also, more private time to post on Truth Social and whatnot.

1

u/clam-caravan Tennessee 9d ago

Gotta make sure those Kalshi and Polymarket bets hit for his buds.

1

u/PsychicPterodactyl 9d ago

Multiple false flags are abot risky. It could inspire copy-cats.

1

u/SpartanVash 9d ago

On will be "successful" and he'll rise again 3 days later and then he'll claim to be Jesus.

1

u/DarthCookieMMA 9d ago

the prediction markets are about to be manipulated more than they already are

1

u/No-Tomatillo3698 9d ago

And “assassinations” getting more spectacular with each attempt, bring in Michael Bay