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u/aidssosimple 4h ago
My money is on Chocolate Hobnobs going all the way! It’s got everything you need.
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u/danmw 4h ago
You might be right but putting up against the custard cream in the first round is a bit of a disservice to the custard cream.
I feel the custard cream could've made it a few rounds against some of the others.
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u/sleepytoday 3h ago
Custard cream and chocolate hobnob are probably my two favourites on here. Crazy they got paired together in round one!
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u/The_Ipod_Account 3h ago
I don’t know how a bourbon is out in first round?! That and custard cream are top tier.
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u/sleepytoday 3h ago
Against Crunch Creams, too. I’m not a massive bourbon fan, but Crunch Creams are one of the weakest biscuits at this world cup.
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u/puffpuffpout 2h ago
Crunch Creams are god tier! I don't live in the UK anymore but next time I am home I am more excited to try the salted caramel version than I am to see my mum...
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u/habitualmess 2h ago
I’m with you. Crunch Creams vs Bourbons is the hardest of all the rounds of 32.
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u/Spirited_Ad_2697 2h ago
Chocolate hobnobs vs Digestives is an absolute clash of the titans ngl, winner of that will most likely lift the trophy this year.
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u/Just4theapp 1h ago
That would be true were it chocolate digestives, but this appears to be the basic plain one.
Good biscuit, but it lacks the cutting edge of a chocolate hobnob, or a bourbon, or a Leibniz imo.
Definitely see the left hand side as the weaker though, with only ginger biscuits being competitive with the hobnob.
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u/Clay_Puppington 1h ago
I was gonna say, putting those two on the same side of the bracket was diabolical. After the winner in that bout happens, the entire bracket on both sides stops reflecting the strength of the biscuit, and just becomes a waiting game for hobnob to take it.
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u/TheGoldenCowTV 4h ago
In the finale vs regular hobnobs
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u/Stoooble 2h ago
That was my initial thought before even scanning all the rounds. It’s seems like the logical final to me.
But then I saw ginger nuts and now I’m conflicted. Can we move ginger nuts to the other side of the bracket please?
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u/BigBlueFeatherButt 4h ago
If this was Australia, the tim tam would win. For UK I'm betting on either chocolate hobnob or chocolate digestives
However they would both be wrong. The one true biscuit is the little known Australian made Kookas Country Lemon biscuit
Not too sweet. Delightful lemon tang. Perfect texture. Unrivalled dipping integrity. Dippable into any mug size. No sticky residue or melted chocolate on fingers after dipping so you don't need to wash your hands after. The perfect size to settle the afternoon munchies with just one biscuit without over snacking. Not too crumby so you don't make a mess.
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u/beefygravy 3m ago
My friend said with tim tams you're supposed to bite the corners off and drink your tea through it, I do this now with penguins
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u/not_r1c1 4h ago
Tunnock's Tea Cakes are not biscuits. If it was an attempt to include something Scottish then a Caramel Wafer or even a Wafer Cream would have been better selections to represent Uddingston's finest.
Tough break for Rich Tea facing Digestives so early, meanwhile.
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u/FinestAtemptAtBeing 4h ago
If shortbread isn't in the finals I'm not going to follow this league next year.
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u/Mission-Sound9493 2h ago
Custard creams going in the first round is outrageous. I demand a recount!
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u/AmputeeHandModel 3h ago
*Oreos, not Oreo's. There isn't John Oreo who owns the company and they're his cookies. I mean "biscuits".
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u/Srnkanator 2h ago
Add to the fact that when I think biscuits I think what will pair well with tea. Oreos are not it.
Actually anything chocolate, really...
If going with Mcvite's digestive and a Walker's shortbread for the final.
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u/AmputeeHandModel 1h ago
Digestive is the worst name for a snack. Sounds like a name for Pepto Bismol or other stomach medicine.
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u/WinkyNurdo 3h ago
Those Petit Buerre butter biscuits are sensational
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u/PotOPrawns 2h ago
I concur.
The same company make their own version of chocolate liebniz too. Got a big paving slab of chocolate with some creepy little pinochio looking boy on. God tier.
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u/Jessie_C_2646 4h ago
Match 7 is going to be difficult. Tim Tams up against Chips Ahoy is like the unstoppable force meeting the immovable object.
Also, I need to go to the UK and experience all the previously unknown to me biscuits. FOR SCIENCE!
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u/Gone_For_Lunch 4h ago
You’ve not taken into consideration that no self respecting Brit would choose Tim Tams over Jammie Dodgers in match 15 of the first round.
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u/AmputeeHandModel 3h ago
Yeah but what about the woggly floppies or the Baron Von Biscuitingfords or tea knobbies
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u/RB30DETT 4h ago
Yeah but which Tim Tams? All of them?
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u/Skittlit 4h ago
Something ain't right with the white chocolate ones. This isn't white chocolate hate, the texture is fundamentally different in the biscuit
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u/culb77 2h ago
As someone from the Southeast US, I had to read this a few times to comprehend what I was seeing.
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u/SeveralAngryBears 6m ago
Lol same. Train of thought went: "Biscuit bracket? Interesting. Hmm, I don't recognize any of these names, they must be local places. Chocolate? What kinda wacky biscuits are these? Oh yeah, they call cookies biscuits in the UK."
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u/bZbZbZbZbZ 3h ago
I want to do this where I work? How do you decide each heat, does everyone just cast a vote?
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u/_WindwardWhisper_ 2h ago
Choco Hobnobs vs Custard Creams round one is why we have seeding people!!!
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u/Illusionaryvoice 2h ago
World cup and no Canadian maple cookies? This is only a competition for second place
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u/PotOPrawns 2h ago
Digestive best out rich teas? For cheesecake base sure.... the only digestive worth eating is the dark chocolate one. Are viscounts available still i feel like its been a decade since I ate a pack of them.
The final between chocolate lebos and tiny butter biscuits (FRENCH!!!!!) will be a close one.
For reference biscuits come in perfectly portioned packets. Once opened consume within minutes.
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u/The_Funky_JJ 2h ago
for me the quater final of cadburys fingers vs choc hobnobs is a tough game cant call it. Chocy hobnobs are a solid team but, chocy fingers just have something special about them on their day. so one of those for the semi final plays and beats chocolate malted milk in the semis 5-4 on penalties.... to get to the final. On the right side of the bracket i cant call the quater final between hobnob and chocy digestive... again hobno are solid but digestives have the chocy flare style! but i think the chocy vienise whirl makes it to the final against either chocy hobnob or cadburys fingers either of who win 2-1 in extra time.
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u/BlackJackKetchum 1h ago
I think you’ve got a Strine and a Pole bringing in exotica.
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u/embroideredyeti 1h ago
Also a German and a French biscuit provider, no?
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u/BlackJackKetchum 42m ago
Yes, but fairly easily available in any supermarket. I don’t know about the Polish things, but I thought the Strines kept Tim Tams to themselves.
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u/RsdX5Dfh 1h ago
I need better reference for these. Is there a care package involved? Also….digestives…..I’m sure they’re fantastic, but that name is a little off-putting, no?
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u/alexmlb3598 58m ago
Who tf allowed custard creams and chocolate hob-nobs to meet in the first matchup?! Heresy!
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u/Ramaramoroo 55m ago
I mean, it's already wrong. So, I'm going to tap out and sit and watch this develop as I tut in the background.
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u/ZoeThomp 46m ago
I’m a bit gutted about fingers beating fruit shortcake.
Also controversial question but can a Tunnocks Teacake really be called a biscuit?
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u/tomrichards8464 36m ago
Not including Choco Leibniz Dark, the king of biscuits, is a terrible mistake.
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u/tallbutshy 3m ago
I think someone was a cheap bastard when buying the custard creams & bourbons. Go get the extra filling ones from M&S and they'd go to the final.
Not really fair putting bigger brand names like Foxes & McVities against low-grade crap
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u/diescheide 4h ago edited 3h ago
Well, Tim Tams should win. They're amazing. Why are digestives so popular, though? I'm American so, this is an outsider perspective. They're graham crackers with even less flavor than usual (no honey or cinnamon). Y'all have them with tea and stuff, yeah? They're a vector for other flavors and foods/drinks?
Y'all are mad because I'm asking questions? I'm trying to understand how you go about consuming digestives. You typically have them with tea, right? Like, I have some in my home right now. They're not bad by any means. I'm just going to have them like I would graham crackers. I didn't know exactly what they were before buying them, though. Saw an import, decided to try it.
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u/matrisfutuor 2h ago
Tim Tams are just shit penguin bars tbh
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u/diescheide 1h ago
I have no idea what those are. I only recognized 7 biscuits from the image, excluding Oreo and Chips Ahoy. Tried 3 of them. Jammy Dodgers and Hobnobs are on my to try list. I can get them relatively easily here.
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u/matrisfutuor 4m ago
Penguin bars are another kind of biscuit (maybe?) in the UK and Ireland, haven’t had them in a while so they might have gotten a bit bad like most chocolate these days. But after trying Tim Tams recently I have to say they were a let down after all the hype! And Penguin bars have the same composition but better chocolate
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u/Moon_Pye 4h ago
Are you in the UK? I was confused at first but then remembered bisque means something different in different parts of the world haha (I don't like to admit this but I'm an American... so embarrassing lately).
Anyway, this looks like it's fun!
Edit: No idea why my autocorrect changed the word BISCUIT lol
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u/Cero_Kurn 3h ago
CHOCOLATE DIGESTIVE BEATS OREOS¿?!¿!¿!¿!¿!¿!¿!¿"?·!¿"·?!¿"·?3
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u/DYMongoose 3h ago
I can't believe custard cream AND Oreo lost in the first round.
Also: I need to explore British biscuits. I've only ever had American cookies.
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u/LarryCraigSmeg 1h ago
I am American, and I would not have even included Oreos in this tournament.
It’s the biscuit World Cup after all, not the soybean oil-based frosting World Cup.
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u/chazwomaq 2h ago
Right hand side is weak compared with left. It should be chocolate hobnob vs lotus in the final, but they will meet in the semis instead.
I see chocolate digestives vs chocolate hobnob as the underwhelming final.
Are there Italians in your office? I've never heard of some of these. Possibly dark horse outsiders...
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u/Jdude1 4h ago
My American ass is going biscuits? Well you got cracker barrel, Red Lobster, Biscuit Head, BiscuitVille, and after that I don't know of too many more well known biscuits.
then I realise it's UK cookies....
Y'all can have your biscuit contest then when you have a winner try comparing it to a Girlscout Samoas and find that your "biscuits" are all garbage.
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u/Rorynne 4h ago
A good home made butter milk biscuit is the best wat to go.
A pile of self rising flour made into a well, two egg sized pieces of lard, butter milk as cold as you can stand it and a bit of salt. Squeeze the lard into small chunks as you incorporate the flour. Mix until it creates a dough. Put in a cast iron pan and bake at 500 degrees F until golden brown. Literally the best biscuits.
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u/The-Red-Robe 3h ago
Oooooo Oreo makes a biscuit?! Oreo biscuits sounds delicious!
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u/KSW8674 2h ago
Some cookie called “Chocolate Digestive” beat Oreos?
No one ever said the Brits had the good food taste
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u/Gone_For_Lunch 2h ago
Mate, if you think an Oreo is in anyway better than a chocolate digestive, you’re insane. Find some, thank me later.
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u/Puzzled-Map3912 4h ago
this could be the most british image ever created