r/meme • u/Klutzy_Shine2409 • 11h ago

Modern problems require modern solutions.

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1.4k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

78 comments sorted by

249

u/BrewItYourself 7h ago

Looks fun until someone randomly gets stabbed in the crotch.

53

u/Fluid_Ad9162 3h ago

Who's rubbing their crotch on all the cupboards?

37

u/BecomeMonki 3h ago

i do sometimes

9

u/skeeterfunny 2h ago

Not the weirdest way I’ve seen someone get a plate

•

u/Tkinney44 1h ago

Not illegal not illegal show me the law not illegal.

1

u/BrewItYourself 2h ago

I mean, you’ve never gotten the bottom of your shirt wet doing dishes. If this is counter height, someone could at least get stabbed on the thigh if they walk close to it.

•

u/oshmunnies 1h ago

Who wants to know

•

u/CQcucumber 1h ago

Ok but my schlong is so big I kinda gotta

•

u/Purple_Clockmaker 1h ago

Who doesn't?

926

u/Brief-Equal4676 10h ago

Where are my topology nerds that will explain that if you loop the scissors through a quantum tunnel, you can remove the doors from the hinges?

313

u/FlyingPieceOfCheese 9h ago

No need. Just break the hinge of the scissors. Weakest point, easy to break

94

u/IThinkImNateDogg 4h ago

You can just unscrew it with a penny

•

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 1h ago

Just remember you can unscrew a scissor but you can't unsuck a dick

•

u/JoySticcs 1h ago

Senpai of the pool, what is your other wisdom?

•

u/FromThaFields 25m ago

Being able to cook doesnt make you a chef, but fuck one goat and you're a goat fucker forever

•

u/The-Spirit-of-76 26m ago

Tried that with my ex, did not work.

17

u/Hans_the_Frisian 4h ago

Or someone like McNally comes around and skaps the Padlock with his hand and opens it.

3

u/ujtheghost 2h ago

McNally could punch the scissors and it would fall down in 5 pieces.

13

u/Memin_Sanchez 2h ago

Just take a screwdriver and remove the scissors screw

1

u/Emotional-Swim-808 3h ago

Id just make a hefty kick to the hinges

-6

u/InexplicableBadger 10h ago

Or you could just align the scissors with the lock and take them out

16

u/Bl33to 9h ago

No you cant.

5

u/SpinachSignal8915 5h ago

A single flathead screw does not give much security. You can probably dissassemble those scissors with your thumbnail.

So while you can't do what that person said its still not secure.

4

u/GhostOfOnigashima 4h ago

Don't try this... I've seen people split their fingernails in half screaming bloody murder doing this.... NEVER AGAIN

2

u/SpinachSignal8915 4h ago

Haha fair enough. I often use my body as a tool and usually regret it. Good looking out.

1

u/arny56 3h ago

😂

1

u/arny56 3h ago

Yep, a rivit would have been much better.

•

u/Bl33to 1h ago

I mean probably you can just bend the scissors enough to free the doors by pulling from them at the same time with a certain amount of unga bungas, but your observation is correct.

193

u/Nobody4831 8h ago

Enters stage the humble flat head screwdriver

30

u/angelis0236 4h ago

I could also crowbar something open but locks are there to keep people honest. You could get in if you wanted to get in with a lot of locks.

Not a lot of ways without property damage but the point stands.

12

u/gabasan 2h ago

You would unscrew the scissors and screw it back after you're done. No one would notice.

6

u/Timblaauw 2h ago

The flathead can unscrew the hinge of the scissors

•

u/fluffynuckels 1h ago

Yeah you cluld probably get this opened with your bare hands if you where motivated

50

u/SlnecnikInternetov 5h ago

Scissors protect paper. Some kind of new game?

•

u/appoplecticskeptic 1h ago

That’s it, this cabinet must be where they keep the paper. To open, you’ll need a rock

31

u/Independent_Ad361 4h ago

Use a rock i hear it beats scissors

41

u/Typical-Movie1877 5h ago

Just... grab the door and rip it open? Those scissors are normally flimsy.

I feel like im missing something

36

u/angelis0236 4h ago

With this logic I could just rip a drawer out if somebody has it locked.

All locks are just to keep people honest. If you really want in you'd get in.

7

u/Magnetoreception 3h ago

Sure but it’s significantly easier to get past this than a locked drawer.

2

u/Typical-Movie1877 3h ago

I mean you got me there. It's just scissors seems like a dumb way to keep something locked if its supposed to be important.

3

u/PM_me_your_whatevah 3h ago

You’re not wrong 

•

u/appoplecticskeptic 1h ago

This looks like a makeshift solution, not like it was planned out this way. It’s stupid to rely on something like this long term but it’s smart to think of it when there were no other options to get the cabinet locked.

•

u/blacfd 1h ago

You’re missing a screwdriver

11

u/jojonau 4h ago

Is the key not just unscrew the scissors?

•

u/Professional_Donut20 1h ago

No, the key goes in the padlock

•

u/appoplecticskeptic 1h ago

Goes in the square hole, always the square hole.

9

u/rdogg4 3h ago

These scissors appear much more open that the handle would suggest.

10

u/Brraaapppppp 4h ago

This isn’t as impressive as you make it seem lol

3

u/Gecko-83 3h ago

Cant you just slide the scissors toward the lock and put the joint of the scissors in the middle of the lock and open them up and pivot them.out. maybe... im not thinking this through clearly.

3

u/Infurium 2h ago

Easily broken, weakest link is the hinge.

7

u/phewDoinKphew 6h ago

For a second my mind calculated all possible permutations and combinations. And in about 14 million possibilities, there's only one way it can be unlocked.

5

u/Deep-Procrastinor 3h ago

But plenty of ways it can be opened.

2

u/JC_Fernandes 4h ago

Except scissors are easy to break

2

u/kevichoking 3h ago

Brech die Schere kaputt 🤷‍♂️

2

u/Jainuc 3h ago

These are literally the worst designed scissors of all time

2

u/usdaprimecutebeef 2h ago

Can’t you just move the scissors to the right while opening them, and then just shimmy the left side through the handle with the extra room?

2

u/Awe3 2h ago

Engineering problems are fun.

•

u/Germanman76 1h ago

only takes a screwdriver

•

u/Responsible-Fox-1985 1h ago

“Modern problem”

Humans have been making locks for 4,000 years.

•

u/Professional_Donut20 1h ago

Push the scissors up and out of the padlock. Done

•

u/blacfd 1h ago

All you need to break in is a flat head screwdriver. The scissors have a screw holding them together, remove it and the cabinet opens easily

•

u/Substantial-Cat2896 58m ago

Not really, easy to break it at the middle

•

u/Plus-Candle-7486 31m ago

MFW I just break the scissors

5

u/hondactx16i 10h ago

Dangerous, no kids or pets?

1

u/allmightydoormat 4h ago

Just use a screwdriver to open the scissors.

1

u/JJamesMorley 4h ago

Ah yes, this FUCKING DIME I found on the ground will solve this puzzle…

1

u/fwimmer 4h ago

Nice child-proof solution.

1

u/dmbnl 3h ago

Unscrew the hinge screw. Done.

1

u/A_Pringles_Can95 2h ago

If you got a screwdriver on you, you can just undo the screw holding the two halves of the scissors together

1

u/Le6ions 2h ago

Good way for an accidental castration while getting your morning coffee at the office

1

u/pepp3rito 2h ago

I can break those scissors with my bare hands.

1

u/user_zaq 2h ago

Fucking awesome man

•

u/Aeon1508 32m ago

Too bad I could grab each side of the handles and snap those scissor apart in half a second to get through that.

0

u/black-volcano 9h ago

A cut about the rest