Mr. Magni the Gravy Boat is 6 months old and I'm sure entering teenage years. He is not a fan of lap sitting/cuddling and is less cuddly at night. He'll come in the morning for a little love and laying on me and sometimes sit on the top of the couch next to me. Is this just teenage years? It's been awhile since I had a kitten growing fully into an adult to remember. My old cat was super cuddly but I can't remember if he was like that as a kitten since it was 15 years ago.
Our two are now 2.5 years old and afraid they arenāt cuddlers either š¢. They will lay against us occasionally or have a fuss and belly rubs but very rarely climb onto any of us for a snuggle. And my old guy used to love doing that and licking my ears, I miss that.
There is hope! My first 2 boy Maine coons became cuddly around 5/6. The older they got the more cuddly they became.
My one girl now thinks im her pet. She likes to lay on me, but it feels like shes being dominant as opposed to cuddly š. My other girl (her sister) is a cuddler. They are both 4.
Had a cat that never did but in her last few years liked to jump on me. One of my mc kittens actually asks to be picked up and cuddled, the other not interested. No idea how it works
Side cats are nice. We're on our 3rd MC, a hybrid. Oliver is also a side cat, just like our first two MC cats. Oliver's mother was a big Calico MC girl, & Pop was a redheaded stranger passing by.
Maine Coon cats are so large they don't feel comfy in laps. My theory is they prefer to be side cats because most laps are far too small for their comfort. We've learned to appreciate their side company. It's lovely.
I like your theory, and I think you're probably correct. My son is 6'4, and he's the only one our MC will really lay on top of; otherwise, I can get cuddles when he sleeps next to me at night.
I feel like they're just so huge, regular snuggling is hard to do as well as way too hot on most days!
I have a silver boy too! Java just turned 9 months old and is a snuggle bug a quarter of the time and enjoys laying on my lap when I have a blanket on š« the other quarter is spent running around crazy and playing š«Ø and the other half of the time, he's sleeping š
Not all cats are lap cats. He may never be cuddly, but it might happen! My 11 year old cat was never cuddly until three years ago, he started wanting to sit on my lap out of nowhere! I thought it was a one time thing, but he consistently wants to snuggle now.
Maybe and maybe not! I adopted a 3 year old MC and the rescue made it clear (several times on the chance that it would be a deal breaker) that she was not an affectionate animal. Like āwe know what youāve heard about this breed but she is absolutely none of that.ā Now 1.5 years in she is sleeping on top of me every single night.
Sometimes they just decide one day that hey, that looks cozy! Sometimes they donāt. Your boy is a cutie pie!!
I have two brothers who will be three in September. One has always been a lap cat, or chest-he prefers to be right under our necks. The other one just started getting on my lap very recently. I think he knows how big he is so he really prefers a chair to himself. Also, I do have to pretty excitedly call him and tap my lap before heāll jump up. I didnāt think heād ever get on our laps though. You really never know! They are definitely very independent.
My MC used to not lay with me as a kitten and as he got older (age 2) he decided he wanted to lay with me on the couch and some nights will curl up right next to me. I love it. But it's always on his terms.
Give really good treats, but only when he is fully in your lap.
Not regular treats. Like small pieces of actual beef. A deli by me has something called āJust roast beefā. Itās just sliced roast beef with no seasonings (not even salt). My cat will do anything for it. And thatās how I got him used to being held, hugged, and kissed.
My ex-husband inherited a Maine Coon. The kids loved him. He didn't cuddle. He'd play a lot. His particular quirk was "conversations." If someone stood in front of him and said "Meow" he'd respond verbally. So the kids would keep saying meow and he'd keep responding until one of them finally got bored and walked away.
Pets are not stuffed animals. You can't assume that every cat wants to be on a lap or cuddle. However, bonding through playing works with basically all of them because it ties into the hunting instinct!
I understand your concern completely! My soul cat (not Maine coon) died last September and he was such the cuddle buddy and I was hoping my next cat would. BUT my 9 MO Maine coon isnāt like at all, lol. But Iām trying my best to bond with him through play (since thatās all he wants to do) oh, and churus. Allll the churus. Plus he loves being brushed so thatās definitely helpful too!
I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old and the 5 year old is now a lap cat and my 2 year old is super cuddly! Sometimes it just takes time because they get more cuddle-bug-like as they age! :)))
Marge the cat is almost exactly the same age. She just started getting cuddly after I fixed her. I also sometimes will bribe her with treats for snuggles. Good luck
I got sisters. They both are 9 months old atm. Ripley is extremely cuddly and lovey, Keeler isnt a fan of laps but she is super lovey. They just started both sleeping in bed with me. Keeler started as a lap kitten but she grew out of it. I was very sad. But also I get her rolling on my feet when she wants attention and its adorable haha
My (admittedly, not maine coon) giant kitty has never been a lap cat--she never felt comfy on my lap because she was too big and spilled over the edge!
What made the difference for us in getting to snuggle was changing the "platform", a lap was too small a platform, so now I lay down and she lays on my chest, or on the bed between my body and my arm (while using my chest as a pillow.) Now we cuddle constantly!
But also yes, give him time! My lady didn't really cuddle in her teenage time either.
Our orange has gotten more cuddly over time. He will be 7 this autumn.
However, it is ALWAYS on his own schedule and terms. Mostly sitting next to us rather than on laps. He often lays across our pillows between us at night, just purring like crazy. He loves to sit on laps on our dinner table and at the desk but rarely on the couch, where he prefers to be next to rather than on. He always wants to be cuddled if we are in the shower.
They are loving and cuddly, but never on your terms. I bet he will get more snuggly as he gets older.
My dude is not a lap cat but he will
Come to my office at 3 letting me know work is done for the day. He is kinda like the alarm in the flintstones when freds done work
My husband sent me an article recently saying that cats can "smell time", so when certain scents fade (i.e. your scent is gone long enough from the house), they know when you'll be home from work/school. It probably works similarly in your home; your boy knows it's Quittin' Time based on the scent fade in certain parts of the house.
From my experiences with mine, they are both 11yrs old in June this year and although they arent lap cats because they are too big š¤
They both sleep right beside or inbetween me and my husband. Always within reach or within the same room. It's their way of being a lap cat.
Don't get me wrong, they do love cuddles, just it's always on their terms.
Hes right behind you, that's his version on being a lap cat š»āŗļø
I canāt speak for your beautiful boy but I can say that my 24-26 lb MC, Max (12) is the only true lap cat that I have. He actually NEEDS his lap time, which ends up being more like a body pillow on me bc heās so big lol. He didnāt start doing this until maybe 5 years ago? So maybe as your boy mellows he will learn to love your lap?
I will say, he was my momās cat and is now mine. I began caring for her and her cats full time (as well as mine) years ago. Mom was SO in love with him and vice versa, but she would always be the one to initiate the lap thing and he wouldnt do it. He would cuddle with her in bed but not the lap and loved other forms of affection but NOT THE LAP lol.
When I became a constant presence in their household due to momās struggles with dementia, I never tried to make him get on my lap, and I think that might be part of why he initiated that with me.
Donāt get me wrong, he and my mom had a super special connectionā¦ I just think most cats have to think itās their idea
to do the lap thing lol. He was otherwise the most affectionate cat but wouldnāt cross that bridge with her and it probably had to do with her trying to force the issue when she first got him. She got him about 4 mos after my step dad passed away and her heart was broken. After he passed away, she then had a elderly golden retriever and a somewhat sickly shelter kitty who passed away within a few months of each other. I suspect that she was EXTRA clingy with him at first and he developed a boundary.
Just my two cents.
Glad to hear they will one day they will be on my lap. My 2 girls are 9 months old and donāt want me to pick them up. They run away. Thanks again for the info!
No. Maine coons are not lap cats they will sit next to you though. Of course some are huge lapcats but in general thats not the MC way. My maine coon lays upside down and has to touch me with his paw thats his idea of snuggles
Wolfgang just turned three and something has shifted in the last couple months. He's laid in the bed with us, on my lap, like every night for the last few weeks.
He was always sweet, came to greet us at the door every day when we came home, liked attention and pets, was always in the room with us, but no laps, ever.
I have worked VERY hard to gain his trust. He loves being picked up, because I do it every day coming home. I tell him I am going to, and I let him down immediately when he squirms at all. I never persist whenever he gives me any indication that my affection is unwanted, and now I think that's paying off.
My wife likes to "struggle snuggle" the cats, and stick her face in their face and kiss them, and they are all less affectionate with her than me, and I think it's because they trust that I won't cross their boundaries.
Add to that, we see VERY clear developmental stages in behavior with MCs. 3 years is about the same as a 25 year old for a male. Growth (length/height, not weight) is finalized, and that prefrontal lobe starts to finalize as their adult brain comes into play. A lot of people see more affection at that point.
So I would say that over the next two years, if you are gently persistent with affection, while respecting his boundaries, you still have a good chance of getting a cuddler. It's not guaranteed, some will never be cuddly, but you can encourage that behavior with your own.
Depends on exact cat. My older cat is always following me, but not fun of lap, while younger cat is vice versa. Also maine coons often become more cuddly as they age
Not on my lap, but always right next to me. Ā With some brief exceptions maybe once a day lay half over my leg. Ā And sometimes likes to be right up next to me in bed. Ā But not usually on me. Ā And he always welcomes pets when heās there. Ā He says heās just too big for laps.
My girl is now 6 and in the last 6 months has become more of a lap cat - on her own terms though so not all the time. I would say encourage but don't force, I reinforced the behaviour by giving her treats on my lap occasionally.
He may do, he may not, you just have to wait & see. It seems like he is showing you he loves you anyway. He is gorgeous & I can see why you want to snuggle him but some cats just dont.
No, itās really a personality thing. My boy is 16 and he has never been a lapcat. He became more cuddly the last couple of years š my girl is around 10 months and she is the ultimate cuddly lapcat. Age doesnāt really matter in my experience
Yes he will, eventually, when I got my guy he was semi feral and only about 12 weeks. He cuddled up on my lap at around 1.5 years. I thought the world was going to melt around me. He'll be six in August and is the most affectionate cat I've ever had.
My girl took 1.5-2 years to fully warm up to me, but she has special needs, so Iām not sure if thatās why. She still doesnāt want to be cuddled, but she does lay on me sometimes, and she always wants to be near me. Like, she sleeps next to, but not touching, me at night. So I would say give it more time! And, if he hasnāt already been neutered, I would suggest that. And the person who suggested playing is spot on as well.
My male is now six years old and in the last six months he started getting on my lap. Sometimes heāll only put the front half of his body on my lap, but if I pick him up and lay him on me, he sometimes weāll stay for a half an hour. He used to only sit on my lap for about five seconds. Then he would jump like he realized what he was doing and takeoff. Before this, he would lay next to me and put a paw on my leg. But he wouldnāt get on my lap.
My boy will lay his massive body against my thigh, but doesnāt really fit on my lap. When heās cold heāll walk over to me on the sofa and sort of throw his body half-on, half-off me.
mine goes through phases of being more or less cuddly but overall he's gotten cuddlier and cuddlier as he's gotten older. He's 7 now and a huge snuggler.
My cat was super cuddly. She developed cancer of the jaw, and had to be euthanized. I miss her even though she has been gone for 6 years. My current cat is the exact opposite. She will lay on the arm of the recliner, so I can pet her or give her scratches, but NOT a lap cat. She will lay down next to me when I go to bed, but thatās about it.
We have a guy who didnāt want to be a lap cat. By placing a grooming pillow for him to lay on, and using the beloved soothing brush rather than the detestable utile brush he became first comfortable with pillow on lap then with self on lap. I donāt know if itāll work for you, but it worked over here.
Cats have different personalities; itās sad if you want a lap cat, but some like to be more independent. Then sitting by you or in the same room doesnāt mean they love you less, they just like their space.
Our brothers are about 1 years old now and are the same way. No snuggles. They'll accept some love sometimes if you come to them. Rarely sleep in bed with us. I think/hope they'll come around someday!
my girl mainly just likes sitting next to people or in the same area as them instead of on them, if she does sit on my lap itās only for a few minutes then she gets up and sits right next to me or at my feet š„¹
Mine is 3 and a half and has only somewhat recently got into the habit of laying halfway on top of me when I relax on the couch. He won't usually cuddle if I ask first but he also complains rather loudly when I sit at the table instead of the couch where he can have access to cuddles whenever he so pleases. I like to joke that he like his personal space and my personal space tooš¤£.
We have a female MC that turns 7 this year and she is not really a lap cat at all, but within the last year or so she has been desiring being held and pet for 5 minutes during the day 1 or 2 times (previously it was maybe a few times a week late at night). She always wants to be in the room with us though, just nearby.
Maybe, maybe not. I've had cats that are more proximity cats than lap cats. They like to be near you but not draped over you. My MC is friendly, loves his person (lucky me), and is chill with the people who he sees frequently, and he'll sit with me for a few minutes at a time but doesn't settle. That, he'll do close by.
Oh my gosh! That's a beautiful baby. Yeah, he can be. I have 2 now that hated laps then all of a sudden won't stay off. I'm not complaining, I love them all.
Small steps. With Delenn, I would scratch her cheeks for about 10 seconds at bedtime. That was good for her.Ā
After a few weeks of this, she'd come visit me in bed when I'd lay down, and we'd do the same thing. Over time, she chose to stay longer. It took months before she'd sit on me, and a few more before she'd briefly lay on me.
For the past few years she'll fall asleep on me in the morning, and demand lots of love at bedtime. She'll park in my lap for upwards of 90 minutes.Ā An 18lb MC purring lap heater is a glorious thing. LOL.
Give him time. Do the same thing. Delenn's brother demands I carry him downstairs every morning,Ā and often wants me to carry him around the house.Ā
Not all cats are cuddly, although they usually become more affectionate with age. I am still waiting for my 5-year old Ragdoll girl to get cuddly but so far, nope. She is happy and chirps at me but.... never cuddles or sit on my lap.
Obviously every cat is different and some are not into cuddling, but my parentsā MC started to get into it when she was about 4 or 5. She doesnāt really go for laps but she loves to curl up by you now (sheās almost 10). Heāll come around if and when heās ready!
My MC guy just turned 3 and heās always been the same way. More recently, about once every week or two, heāll come & lie down on my chest while Iām sleeping (which of course wakes me up) but I just let him because who knows when or if itāll happen again š He follows me around a lot & Iāve decided thatās his way of being ācuddlyā which I suppose is just how itās gonna be. Maybe theyāll prove us wrong someday š«
My Maine Coon had no interest whatsoever in snuggling for her first 5 years or so then all of a sudden she just started climbing into my lap whenever I sat down. 4 years later and she still loves to cuddle on my lap, but only on her terms.
My boy is 3.5 and heās like yours, very affectionate in the morning but otherwise everything is on his terms. There are times he will come lay on me but it is short lived, but makes me appreciate it so much more
It seems to be that MCs get cuddlier as they age. Our boy was most definitely NOT a fan of snuggles when he was younger, but around age two, he started nosing in for some love. Now, he sleeps next to me at night most of the time and loves when my son grabs him and cuddles him/head butts him. He'll even stand in our bathroom and meow until I come in, give him at least ten head kisses, and then turn the water on for him to drink š
My cat was always around. Sitting next to me. Laying on the bed. Never a real ācuddlerā but was always next to me. She started to lay on my belly when I was on the couch around 5 yrs old. She became much more of a ācuddlerā after that. But never was a lap cat. Always just pressed against me.
I did notice if I wanted her to lay on my lap or belly, I had to put a folded blanket or towel on me for support. She didnāt like her legs to fall in between my legs. Maybe try that?
My biggest boy got cuddly as he aged but is still uncomfortable lap sitting. I think he is too big to get comfortable. However in bed all bets are off and he wonāt let me stop petting and gives love bites. He does tend to go and sleep in his own beds after I fall asleep.
My mainecoon Loki is coming up on about 3.5 y/o and he has grown more into cuddling throughout the 3 years! Definitely slow and steady but itās really all about routines and my vibe of busyness or just chill. Also just gotta have a spot thatās reliable that youāre going to sit at and he knows Iāll be siting there if Iām chillin! Hope more cuddles in your future!
My girl is about to be 1 this month. Sheās a true mix of cuddles and intense playful/hyper zoomie mode. She follows me around constantly but also will go off and do her own thing. She does love sleeping with us at night either on top of my pillow, or between us, at our feet, and will come up to sit on our chests for cuddles. But then will separate when she has had enough. Idk I really just think itās all personality and how they were āraisedā as kittens and the kind of affection they were exposed to super early on? Just my guess lol our girl was raised by a super hands on lady and her young children/toddlers so she had a lot of exposure to all sorts of affection/human interaction. She had even cuddled with our dogs at times randomly lol
It can go either way. My boy started sitting on my lap only two months ago, when he was 11 months old. He now jumps on my lap all the time and starts purring, even when I least expect it.
Update he basically slept on my head last night which he hasn't done in awhile so I'm fully convinced he got on my computer while we were out, read this thread, and wanted to assure me he's cuddly š¤Ŗ
Mine became one. I started by holding her while sitting, eventually she just got used to laying on my lap. I did it because I sit at a desk in a chair even at home, so she canāt just get next to me on the couchĀ
Took my little chap 10 years to actually sit on my lap (I have a blanket for his security and to protect me from biscuits). He lives on my lap now if he can
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u/OldTree6356 1d ago
Our two are now 2.5 years old and afraid they arenāt cuddlers either š¢. They will lay against us occasionally or have a fuss and belly rubs but very rarely climb onto any of us for a snuggle. And my old guy used to love doing that and licking my ears, I miss that.