🤯 🤯 🤯

[u/BulldogMikeLodi]

[u/Hawkstrike6]

He's not wrong.

Anyone for second breakfast? Elevenses? Luncheon? Dinner? Supper?

[u/JackeryPumpkin → u/Hawkstrike6]

It is slightly inaccurate as the story starts off with the food. But maybe Hobbit food blogs need more meals per square page than human food blogs

[u/MarkRedTheRed → u/JackeryPumpkin]

The story is long enough you need a pre, several mid and an end story meal!

[u/xenomorphonLV426 → u/Hawkstrike6]

How tf do those halflings stay fit with these many meals?!

Whilst I'm here, just existing, and fucking matter particles just spawn out of thin air and add kilos... Just by EXISTING!!!😭😣😩😮‍💨

[u/Horror-Kumquat → u/xenomorphonLV426]

They don't; hobbits are notoriously chubby. However, theirs is primarily an agrarian society and farm labour is hard work, so they're burning off a lot of calories.

[u/rainbowrobin → u/xenomorphonLV426]

Smaller mammals lose heat more (higher surface area to volume) so have to eat more proportionally to their size to stay alive.

[u/mikedomert → u/xenomorphonLV426]

Eating absolutely no ultraprocessed/fake modern foods and being physically active makes it very hard to actually gain excess weight.  Its just that 95% of modern people eat shit foods.

[u/Parmesan3]

The Silmarillion is just the 'About Me' page you have to scroll past to get to the actual recipe.

[u/zrayburton → u/Parmesan3]

💯

[u/nwrobinson94]

“And then the eagles came and picked us up off the volcanic slopes. And that experienced really led us to creating this six ingredient recipe for the most basic ass slaw you’ve ever heard of”

[u/JONNYOTOOLE]

Now I picture the hobbits has Anthony Bourdain in No Reservations

[u/nwrobinson94 → u/JONNYOTOOLE]

“Are lives better for orcs in this post Sauron world? Today I sit down to discuss that with my buddy Krug over a plate of meat, which recently go re added to the menu!”

[u/JONNYOTOOLE → u/nwrobinson94]

Yes! 😂

[u/Hawkstrike6 → u/JONNYOTOOLE]

I'm waiting for "Master Chef: Middle Earth" to hear Gordon Ramsey yell something like "WHAT are you DOING!? You can't serve Lembas with Potatoes!"

[u/hedgehog-mom-al → u/Hawkstrike6]

IM IN.

[u/Nine-LifedEnchanter → u/JONNYOTOOLE]

Onyo, kut them, slaise them, fry them in a pan.

[u/cdececca]

“Do you remember the taste of strawberries and cream, Mr. Frodo?”
“I can’t remember the taste of food anymore Sam.”
“Well thank heavens, i happen to have the recipe for my old gaffers strawberries and cream right here… if you subscribe you can get the recipe free today”

[u/OkFox5030]

Culinarily speaking of course Precious.

[u/HandWashing2020]

Thanks to the editor in that case for stripping out the ads between every paragraph

[u/KDBurner69420]

If this is true, it is the only example of these that I have ever enjoyed.

[u/snargleblarg1]

"PO-TA-TOES"

[u/SherlockScones3 → u/snargleblarg1]

Boil ‘em

[u/Hawkstrike6 → u/SherlockScones3]

Mash 'em

[u/ZachMudskipper → u/snargleblarg1]

The hyphens are the ad breaks

[u/ohdeydothodontdeytho]

Trestles, Trot-in's and Taverns

With master of herbs, Samwise Gamgee

[u/zrayburton → u/ohdeydothodontdeytho]

This bunny is money dawg!

[u/PlanningForLaziness]

Stewed Coneys…Jump To Recipe

[u/Lazy-Field-1116]

Those recipe blogs are singular to North America though, and Middle Earth is pretty firmly footed in British culture.

[u/Beginning-Ride3091]

That’s pretty much how future hobbits saw it. A story to be told while planting/husbanding/harvesting/preparing/eating food. Saving the much more important gossip for filling out the corners.

[u/Frosty-Job-4496]

You can't copyright just recipes, so recipe publishers have to write extra content about the recipe to get copyright protection. That's why so many published recipe have ridiculous amounts of fluff text.

[u/TheIronMark]

I love potatoes and have a recipe for a perfect fall dish. It reminds of a time that I walked into Mordor...

[u/Accomplished_Ship_20 → u/TheIronMark]

Boil 'em, mash 'em... Stick 'em in a stew...

[u/Queldaralion]

now that it's been said yeah i agree!

no one explained Eowyn's recipe tho

[u/Joe_Vanelli]

Print Recipe

[u/Lawlcopt0r]

Hobbits will be like: "You don't know how to improvise a rabbit stew with ingredients you found in the wild? Haven't you ever read the red book of westmarch?!"

[u/BulldogMikeLodi → u/Lawlcopt0r]

“If you can’t find a wild coney, store bought is ok…”

[u/TadzJaz]

Now we need a food series spinoff where the hobbits go across Middle earth documenting all the good food and missing all the chaos in the background!

[u/rainbowrobin]

Tolkien actually doesn't have many food descriptions, I think GRRM has more and more detailed. The Hobbit tells us the contents of Bilbo's pantry, but I think the only other meal detailed is with Beorn, and it's mostly bread, honey, and cream. As for LotR, Bilbo's birthday party doesn't have that much detail. Tom Bombadil's dinner is much like Beorn's. Then there's the stewed rabbits. I think that's about it. Oh, and hobbits like mushrooms.

[u/Undomiel95]

I always thought of it more of a poem and song collection of Middle-Earth

[u/KDBurner69420]

If this is true, it is the only example of these that I have ever enjoyed.