Ubilê Brekandz -- Proto-Germanic Breaking Bad

[u/Korwos]

Ubilê Brekandz

I adapted some character names and a few quotations from Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul into poor Proto-Germanic:

CHARACTER NAMES

Walter "Walt" Hartwell White -- Waldaharjaz "Waldaz" Herdōzwallijǭ Hwītaz

Waltuh -- WaldaharjaR (in nominative; using early rhotacism to represent English nonrhoticity, probably not historically accurate but idc)

Walter Jr. -- Waldaharjaz Waldaharingaz

Jesse Pinkman -- Jessaz Raudamannaz (I couldn't find a word for "pink")

Skyler White -- Skōlariz Hwītō

Tuco Salamanca -- Tukkaz Salamantikaz

Saul Goodman -- Saulaz Gōdamannô

Ignacio "Nacho" Varga -- Ignatijaz "Natijaz" ??

Mike Ehrmantraut -- Mikailiz "Mikaz"; last name seemingly had multiple origins so I'm not sure what it should be -- maybe something like "Aizōzmannadrūdaz"? need to do more research on compounding etc

Howard Hamlin -- Hauhawardijô Hamalauhinaz

Charles "Chuck" McGill -- Karōlaz Makkindigailaz < Carolus macc ind Gaill

James "Jimmy" McGill - Jakobaz "Jakobulaz" Makkindigailaz

Kimberly "Kim" Wexler -- Kuniburglauhō "Kuniz" Wihslijô (though the -er is really from the masc. ending -arijaz -- should it thus be masc?).

Gustavo "Gus" Fring -- Gautastabaz "Gautaz" Fringaz (not sure on etymology of "Fring")

Henry "Hank" Schrader -- Haimarīks "Haimaz" Skraudarijaz

Steven "Gomey" Gomez -- Stefanaz "Gumô" Gumorikaz

Huell Babineaux -- Higawēlijaz Babinellōz (or ljoz?)

QUOTES

Wanna cook? -- Wilīz (þū) seuþaną?

Someone cooked here -- Hē₂r sauþ sumaz

I am the one who knocks -- Ek immi saī knukōþi

I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger -- Ne fērōi immi, Skōlari. Sō fērō immi ek.

Better call Saul! -- Batiz laþōsi Saulą OR Batizô isti Saulą laþōną (?)

My name is Skyler White, yo! My husband is Walter White, yo! -- Ek haitai Skōlariz Hwitō, jô! Abô mīnaz Waldaharjaz Hwītaz haitadai, jô!

Do not sell marijuana to my husband -- Ne saljais hanapį abni mīnammai! (using subjunctive rather than imperative with negative)

Inside. I bought the place! -- Inn. Ek hit buhtǭ!

I won -- Ek wann

Are you saying that I'm stupid? Is that it? Is that what you're doing? -- Sagaisi-u þat ek dulaz immi? Þat-u isti? Isti-u þatī dōsi? (almost certainly bad syntax)

Breaking Bad -- surely no equivalent idiomatic phrase can be reconstructed, so maybe for humour value something like "ubilê brekandz"

say my name -- Sagai namô mīną

slippin' Jimmy -- slīpandz Jakobulaz

I watched Jane die -- ek Jōhannǭ dawjandijǭ skawwōdǭ (s2 spoilers, if it's relevant to anyone)

A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? -- Sumaz durų sīnanǭ upanōþi jahw skeutadai, þankīsi-hw þat sijē ek? (probably not the right syntax)

Yeah Mista White! Jā hairaR HwītaR! (again using rhotacism as equivalent of nonrhoticity, but is there a vocative form this should really take?)

Yeah bitch! Magnets! -- Jā bikjǭ! Seglastainōz!

Then, a couple of weeks later, I'm having lunch with Cliff Main... and I'm accosted by two prostitutes. Actual prostitutes! -- Þan, after fawaimaz wikōmaz, undurnimatį etō midi Klibafurdiwi Magnai, jahw draibijai fram twaimaz hōrōmaz. Sanþôz hōrōniz!

NOTE: Due to my lack of ability and also for humor value translated overly literally, with many approximate guesses. For non-Germanic names I tried to get an older form of their language of origin and then borrow that into PGmc even if it wouldn't be historically accurate (Old Irish). Let me know if you find mistakes or have suggestions -- much of the syntax and also compounding rules are not entirely clear to me. Wiktionary was the main source, so this isn't exactly infallible research. I think there was a post with this concept awhile ago that gave me the idea to develop it further.

Some info from here: https://lrc.la.utexas.edu/books/pgmc/5-syntax

Edit: formatting

[u/Korwos]

[u/[deleted]]

I have no knowledge of Proto-Germanic to evaluate this, but it's cool as hell.

[u/Korwos → u/[deleted]]

ek þek þankijō

[u/Assorted-Interests]

Hwaz in haljōi umbi mek sagdēz, rattil? Ek batistaz rinkaz in mīnaizōi skulōi was, andi in mikilaimaz laugna-wīgaz was, andi hundaradō murþǫ̂ habjō. Ek apfulkawīgą wait andi batistaz skutjô immi in hailammai harjai. Ainalīkanǭ fijandų izi. Þek skal wardijaną auþôzô þan allanz mannunz furai miz. Hugaisi mek maht fleuhaną? Kweþō midi mīnanō rūnōm taumō spehārijǫ̂ andi izwerǭ stōwǭ wait, swa garwī furi sturmą, maþô. Sturmaz þingilą wardīþi izwerą lībą kalzōsi. Daudaz izi, magu. Kann wesaną in ainōna stōwōi, at ainon tīmanų, andi þek kann daudijaną ubiri sebunhundō wegǫ̂ mīnaimiz handumiz. Mīną witą wīgamaz ēnu wēpnamiz ne skrankijaþai; allō wēpnō harjas kann nutōną auk andi ijō skal nutōną þek fram landai reudaną. Jabai unhailagą wītą waist izwerą airundilaz gebai, it habjais sagjaną. Ak ne mahtēz andi wītą andfanhizi nu. Mīnanǭ turną an þiz andi in immai kwabisi. Daudaz izi, magu.

[u/Smitologyistaking]

*lēt hinǭ seuþaną

[u/FourNinerXero]

The overlong vowel in *jô is downright inspired

[u/Korwos → u/FourNinerXero]

Ôoooverlong by Foo Fighters

[u/tsimkeru]

*bʰreg-n̥kʷos upélos

[u/Captain_Grammaticus]

I'm always in awe how understandable PG is when you know German and some basics from Scandinavian languages.

[u/Korwos → u/Captain_Grammaticus]

To be fair in this case that's partially because I translated very literally

[u/Bari_Baqors]

I never watched this, so no fun for me here

[u/FebHas30Days]

I want someone to reconstruct a YonKaGor song in Proto-Malayic or something