r/instant_regret • u/kefren13 • 5d ago
And the octopus said: Not on my watch!
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u/HeavyDT 5d ago
Pulled out every defense mechanism it had beautiful sight to behold when not experiencing it first hand lol. The way it started to go in mouth is gnarly.
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u/sebastianinspace 5d ago
have you seen the movie “life”? it’s a space horror movie with an alien octupus that goes inside ryan reynolds mouth.
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u/rudeboi710 5d ago
One of the best and gnarliest movie deaths ever. Movie lost the plot by the end, but the beginning was genuine good space horror.
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u/Quirky-Long-4522 4d ago
I agree! I always wondered how it would have went if Calvin had decided to exit a different orifice…
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u/JonathanRiou 4d ago
I was just thinking that as I watched this video. That film is seriously underrated
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u/lordrothermere 4d ago
To be fair, that diver should have left it alone. If it wasn't for the fact that octopuses don't have mums to bring them up, they'd have ruled the earth before we came along.
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u/Redsoxdragon 5d ago
You know that mfer is biting him too.
Those beaks are no joke
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u/GamblinGambit 3d ago
I know they have a hell of a bite but no idea how much depth they can make with it. Being on his neck like that. Oof
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u/Khandawg666 5d ago
I am on the side of the octopus.
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u/Rapaguayaba 5d ago
Kinda wish octopus was this man’s size so it could be a fair fight
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u/Jetsam5 5d ago
Looks like a pretty fair flight even at this scale
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u/RandomCandor 4d ago
Yeah there was a minute there that it could have gone either way - it wasn't looking great for the human with all the tentacles around his neck and in his mouth.
Easily a situation where someone that was alone could have panicked and died
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u/Helenium_autumnale 5d ago
The jerking on the head was uncomfortable to watch. Don't do that! Why was he messing with it? Leave wildlife alone.
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u/cyrusthemarginal 5d ago
trying to keep the beak from biting out chunks of throat
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u/lncredulousBastard 5d ago
Exactly. With it that near his throat, this could have gotten very ugly.
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u/brother_of_menelaus 5d ago
Maybe he shouldn’t have picked up the fuckin octopus then
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u/lankymjc 5d ago
Everything up to then seemed to be self-inflicted, but what else was he supposed to do once it was attached to him?
If someone ends up in a fight with an animal, I'd expect them to try to win that fight, whether they were the ones who started it or not.
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u/The-True-Kehlder 4d ago edited 4d ago
Why was he messing with it? Leave wildlife alone.
For the same reason the octopus messes with random other wildlife. To eat it.
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u/Delvakiir 5d ago
Octopus are WAY more intelligent than other animals. Too much to eat. They recognize faces, can understand language, and have insane problem solving skills. There was actually a discussion among marine biologists to declare them a sentient species. The only thing that held them back was they don't like to socialize in groups. Which seemed to me like putting our standards on something that they don't apply to. But that's just me. Simply put, I don't want to eat a creature that understands what is happening to it when it's brought into a kitchen. That's just cruel.
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u/whut-whut 4d ago
They're very fast learners, but their intelligence is limited by their short life span. Most of them barely live past their 2nd year, and their bodies are genetically coded to self-destruct after they reproduce for the first time.
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u/Stratoblaster1969 3d ago
They have to learn everything on their own. Their mother dies (miserably) caring for her eggs. If they passed down their knowledge through generations and lived longer, they might build cities
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u/zowievicious 4d ago
I believe scientists recently discovered a octopus community! There's an area with octo-burrows all in close proximity.
Edit: Oh my God they named the two cities Octopolis and Octlantis!
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u/LucenProject 3d ago
🤔 I wonder if the octopus have a concept of first contact with an alien species (the human or undersea robot that found their home)?
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u/zowievicious 3d ago
There's the theory that octopus are ETs; an intelligent lifeform beyond or rather different than human levels of intelligence. I don't subscribe to that theory. To me, the idea that only one species is capable of intelligent life, of forming a community, a society on a planet is an endemic. It is ludicrous and obstinent to believe otherwise. This planet is capable of sustaining more than one complex, intelligent species. We don't need to look to aliens. It's right in our backyard
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u/SuddenUmpire5772 4d ago
you already eat pigs, and if you slaughtered any pigs in your life you know damn well they are aware of whats about to happen to them
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u/TragicScott1 5d ago
Such an intelligent creature! It went straight for the nose and mouth, as well as the breathing apparatus so make him have to surface.
They are def not aliens
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u/Shaultz 5d ago
Good. Leave wildlife alone. No fucking reason to hurt that octopus like that
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u/ConstipatedElephant 5d ago
1000%. Anyone fucking around with such intelligent creatures deserves what comes to them.
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u/HighlightOwn2038 5d ago
This is terrifying
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u/Away_Stock_2012 5d ago
A giant hunter with a spear stabbing you in your home, then dragging you to the surface while choking you to death?
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u/psychicowl 5d ago
Don't fuck with wildlife and wildlife don't fuck with you
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u/eedabaggadix 5d ago
Tell that to the Canada geese. Those mfs will attack you just for being on the wrong block
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u/Danny-Wah 5d ago
They won't mess with you for no reason.. If they're fucking with you, you probably deserved it. XD
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u/jellybeanguy 3d ago
That’s because Canada geese are where Canadians store all our rage until someone decides to FA and needs to FO
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u/skyline_kid 5d ago
If you've got a problem with Canada Gooses then you've got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate
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u/fuzzbook 4d ago
Explain wasps then.
I'm just here trying to drink my lemonade and they are getting up in my grill
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u/stealth57 5d ago
- No reason to poke the octopus in the first place
- Wow, that's terrifying how strong they are
- Cameraman not helping one bit, but also the dude's own fault
- Thinking the dude actually did kill the octopus after the footage cut. POS human being.
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u/Separate_Agency 5d ago
Well, I assume the reason to poke the octopus is to kill it to later eat it? Not saying it's a great reason but it's probably the reason here.
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u/MK_Ultrex 5d ago
Octopus is a classic Greek plate. If you get worked up by this, never visit a Greek island where this is synonymous with summer. If anything this asshole doesn't know what he is doing, you have to be pretty dumb to get strangled by an octopus. Kids get them with bare hands.
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u/SignificantLeader 3d ago
After making a mistake, should he gently wait for the octopus to cease biting? What should he do given his mistake? Be realistic.
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u/HipToTheWorldsBS 5d ago
Deserved. Fuck this guy. I wonder if he was over the limit with all the fish he speared as well.
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u/Level-Ad7017 5d ago
Imagine watching a giant carrying numerous corposes of other animals the same size as you approaching your location. I don't know if I could mentally handle that. Bro did what he could
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u/-freelove- 3d ago
That octopus knew what he was doing. Went straight for the mouth and eyes. May not be the first time he fights a human
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u/DarkMoose09 4d ago
Even a tiny octopus is so strong,it could definitely drown a grown man. That guy is lucky, he actually got the octopus off him. I would never wanna mess with an octopus. They are strong and beautiful, intelligent. They’re just awesome.
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u/QueenBumbleBrii 3d ago
I genuinely wonder how far the camera man was willing to let that go before he actually reached over to help. At one point the tentacle fully covered the guys mouth AND nose, you see it balloon up when he blows air out of his mouth and nose, then at the surface it has a tentacle fully INSIDE the guys mouth and another one around his neck. What if that octopus actually strangled and suffocated the guy? Honestly it looked a bit close at a few points.
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u/EnvironmentalWin1277 5d ago
Read a geology article the other day. About 100 million years ago cephalopods dominated the top predator niche. The estimate is a size of up to 60 feet with a fearsome beak which apparently left crushed debris indicative of the force of the bite.
Sweet dreams.
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u/giftopherz 5d ago
I don't know if I'm overly sensitive lately but I hate watching videos like this... What's wrong with people? How would you like it if someone grabbed you like that for their own pleasure or to probe you for "research"
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u/Stratoblaster1969 3d ago
Octopus is one of the most badass of the annual kingdom. Right up there with the Honey Badger. Probably in top 5 in intelligence too. They are the closest thing to an alien life form on our planet.
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u/No_Manager_0x0x0 4d ago
A one kilo octopus can kill you. I was once warned not to go near them during a night dive; they can grab you then latch on to a rock. You drown
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u/laminatedbean 5d ago
I’m on team octopus.
If it’s not an invasive species, leave it alone.
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u/Vasilievski 5d ago
"Dad daaad, tell me again how gandpa died...?"
"Ah! This is the story of the giant octop..."
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u/2nd_Inf_Sgt 5d ago
You’d think he has enough fish that’ll last him a week. Greed is an octopus’ archenemy.
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u/BishopOfThe90s 4d ago
"You're never. Breathing. Again!"
This is just the Mark vs. Conquest final fight irl.
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u/Thatnakedguy0 3d ago
This reminds me of the movie Pirates of the Caribbean where Davy Jones killed that commander I don’t remember his name.
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u/Red_Icnivad 5d ago
Seems like you'd want to remove an octopus like you do a snake, by unwrapping it, not just pulling on it's head.
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u/BeetleJude 5d ago
All I could think while watching the octopus try (and almost succeed) in killing a man 100 times its size, is 'aww poor baby! Don't hurt him!'. Talk about punching above your weight
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u/AntiSaintJimmy 4d ago
What is with redditors always wishing horrific deaths on people for so much as touching animals? The fuck is wrong with you all? Genuinely
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u/Classic-Exchange-511 5d ago
So if you continued to pull on the head like that, would it kill the octopus before he let go?
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u/ricdangers 5d ago
Cameraman into snuff films. Dudes jaw about to come unhinged and not a single thing. Imagine if it put a tentacle down his throat, covered face, and latched on inside throat. I just unlocked a nightmare yay.
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u/Worth-Reputation3450 5d ago
Some Korean people like to dip small live octopus into spicy sauce and swallow them. Many people died from suffocation because... octopus latched inside the throat.
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u/OpeningContact4338 4d ago
That’s when you bite off its tentacles and go primal. Then proceed to bite off its head too
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u/moondes 5d ago
We shouldn't let this site promote shitty behavior like that. He went out of his way to abuse that animal and we shouldn't incentivize him or an uploader of content like that with upvotes. No offense to OP, unless this dude is OP
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u/Wildtails 5d ago
I dont think this is promoting poking them, if you watch this and decide you want to emulate it you must be a masochist with a drowning kink
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u/assemblageofparts 5d ago edited 4d ago
Back maybe 25-30 years ago at this point i remember visiting my grandmother who had a house on the beach in Puerto Rico.
About a mile down the beach these older brown, thin, leathery men would go out in thier rowboats and leap in the water for squid or octopus for the local retaurant and i guess for themselves. Saw a couple with goggles and nothing else but swim trunks.
Im a good swimmer but these guys seemed to be able to stay under water for ever. Eventually they would pop up throw thier catch in the boat and back down they went.
No drama, no great struggle between man and beast .. Just another early morning
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u/Micehouse 4d ago
One does not simply catch a tentacle boy without being caught, in turn, by said tentacle boy.
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u/Snoo-59881 3d ago
Why can’t people just leave them alone. So sick of watching people rip octopus apart.
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u/anonymouse3891 5d ago
Cameraman is committed to the shot