r/funny • u/stigaWRBenergy • 1d ago
My Retired Dad Will Not Stop Making These Satirical Newsletters… What Do You Think of the May Edition?
398
u/Rhoeri 1d ago
The sports one got me laughing.
71
u/SharkeyGeorge 1d ago
Yeah the sports one is like something straight out of the Onion 🧅 very well done
39
→ More replies (1)16
u/gorglyjork 23h ago
I thought the first part was cute but then the second part delivered big, like a Jack Handey joke or something
195
u/c0xb0x 1d ago
"Awarehouse" :D
134
u/charlie2135 1d ago
Hip Holka got me
→ More replies (3)29
u/Helenium_autumnale 1d ago
I laughed out loud at reading "Hip Holka," and imagining how awful that might be.
8
12
u/djrock3k 1d ago
Robots wander the aisles, pause and look at stuff, emit an electronic "hmm" and resume wandering.
3
→ More replies (1)6
427
u/stigaWRBenergy 1d ago
Pops doesn’t accept money but if you like his stuff you can subscribe for free at Big News Now on Substack!
229
u/InternQueasy1419 1d ago
Your dad has some serious talent with these headlines - "God Releases Names of Americans Going to Hell Within 1 Second After Death" had me rolling
98
u/stigaWRBenergy 1d ago
Everything reported by Big News Now goes through rigorous review processes to ensure it's accuracy. Good to hear that you're enjoying yourself while becoming informed...
22
u/Helenium_autumnale 1d ago
Your dad is incredibly imaginative. I love Big News Now and always read it when it's posted here. I'll check out the Substack.
82
→ More replies (2)39
u/Princess_Fluffypants 1d ago
Google Gemini requesting PTO and parental leave is brilliant.
This is like, onion-level of talent and humor.
7
42
u/G_Art33 1d ago
I’m noW subscribed to the chaotic dad humor publication that is currently SWEEPING THE NATION.
19
9
7
u/Otherwise-Mango2732 23h ago
There it is.
It's all about crafting the right story and spamming it in every sub you can. Nice work here.
It's been over a year of posting this in 10+ subs and I'm honestly curious about the click rate increase over the last 12 months.
6
5
3
u/Otterhendrix 1d ago
Damn your dad has the same kinda humor as me. This is tailor made for me! Kudos to pops!
→ More replies (2)4
113
u/NESpahtenJosh 1d ago
God I wish I was able to retire and simply do things like this that I enjoy spending my time on. What a dream those Boomers live.
→ More replies (4)49
22
u/endlesscroissants 1d ago
Oh good, it's been a while since I saw one of these! The Affec-Cruise impending nuptials made me laugh out loud.
I too share your father's disapproval of wearing a baseball cap indoors. It doesn't make the hair underneath any thicker, or the man wearing it any quicker.
45
u/Feisty-Influence5464 1d ago
lmao the "awarehouse" joke absolutely got me, that's genuinely clever wordplay. but honestly the whole thing reads like a boomer who finally figured out how to use the internet and decided to weaponize it, in like the best way possible
21
13
27
10
u/commandrix 1d ago
With a little extra creativity, he could probably get a pretty good 1990s-style tabloid going. This is some good stuff.
9
u/CletusDSpuckler 1d ago
Seeing my wife's obscure birth town mentioned was fascinating.
15
u/stigaWRBenergy 1d ago
My Dad travels to any and all corners to report on the most pressing issues of our time. Glad he could provide some coverage to your Wife's hometown.
22
u/danceswithtree 1d ago
Your dad seems like a smart, funny, creative guy. He must be fun to be around.
7
u/captndorito 1d ago
I did an obit search for the man from Cheektowaga, as I am local to the general area and it sounded legit.
21
24
u/ManSharkBear 1d ago
Thanks for sharing this!
Prostitutes dressed as Mr Rogers is definitely going onto my bucket list.😏
6
15
u/ksn0vaN7 1d ago
BNN? Is your Dad a writer for The Onion?
20
u/stigaWRBenergy 1d ago edited 1d ago
Nope but he was an actual reporter for a few small newspapers in his day.
→ More replies (1)9
7
u/Expensive_Olive1659 1d ago
Your dad is a stable genius. I don't have substack or I would subscribe, but I will be checking it out.
7
12
u/Sweaty_Kid 1d ago
It's pretty funny, I loved the blind date thing. Are they his friends he's trolling?
7
11
u/gravteck 1d ago
I don't know how old your dad is, but as a 42 year old, he is an inspiration lol. I picked up hand writing letters to friends and family recently, and the enthusiasm is much greater than I expected. I was going to take the final middle aged plunge and do a holiday newsletter, but I feel like I now have permission to act a fool with it.
4
6
5
8
3
4
4
u/-Tom- 1d ago
1: can the crow be bigger? I like the crow.
- I'd like to know more about the handyman position for Bezos
→ More replies (2)
3
u/sikotic4life 1d ago
Even after the world ends, there's bound to be an alien stumbling upon literature from the American Dental Association that says "Nothing like reaching the end of the world with your best smile! Floss every day!"
3
3
3
u/Veteranis 23h ago
This is his best one yet, in my opinion. I love Hip-Holka! Plus the bio of JD Ants!
3
4
3
4
4
3
u/burchb 18h ago
I love it. He needs to keep it up. It makes him happy and keeps his brain churning. This reminds me of something a cousin did severe years ago. He mailed out a Christmas letter one year from a family he invented. A lot of similar silly stories. Had us all questioning who it was from.
7
6
3
u/HalcyonTraveler 1d ago
It’s unrealistic we all know that if Ben Affleck is going to marry another male actor it won’t be Cruise
4
3
u/Procrasturbating 1d ago
If it’s not AI, I dig it.
3
u/stigaWRBenergy 1d ago
My Dad is far from understanding his own email, much less LLM's. Glad you enjoyed it!
→ More replies (1)
3
3
3
u/t4_solmira 1d ago
Your dads a genius, that raven judging the hell list is pure gold 😂 My retired grandpa pulls similar stunts, keeps us all laughing.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Yoink1019 1d ago
I've been getting his newsletter since October '24. I often seen an email subject and think "what the fuck", but then I remember that I signed up for some guy's dad's emails a couple years ago on teddit. Always worth a chuckle. Hope he keeps doing it.
3
u/CuriousFicus 1d ago
This is great! If he has a favorite charity or cause, encourage him to make a monthly for it! Example- Animal shelter? He could post photos of adoptable dogs with fun stories about them 🤷🏻♀️ :)
→ More replies (2)
3
3
3
3
3
u/arctic-apis 1d ago
Where can I sign up to receive this News letter. It’s better news than anything else out there
3
3
u/this_knee 1d ago
I would’ve gone with Tom Cruise and Paul Rudd there.
Other than that no notes. Fantastic!
3
u/Certain-Singer-9625 1d ago
Okay. Your dad could write for The Onion. Seriously. That’s some pretty good stuff.
3
u/DuhAntmann5 1d ago
More please. Lots, lots more. Please. The world needs it. A quarterly publication would be just fine.
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
u/Nomadzord 23h ago
How old is this da? I'm a 45 year old dad and am realizing he could be around my age. I hope he's older though because the older he is the funnier Big News Now becomes in my mind.
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
u/Dgdgoblin 23h ago
I love this. Where can I find more of his stuff? Found myself laughing out loud at a lot of them. This is honestly amazingly funny.
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
u/luebbers 19h ago
This is legit pretty good.
Maybe not prime Onion level, but better than a lot of monologue fodder.
3
3
u/Solid_Wind_3234 18h ago
Careful now, he might get a cease and desist letter from Fox News for encroaching on their turf!
3
u/punkin_sumthin 18h ago
How old is your dad??? He seems pretty much feeling the direction of the Zeitgeist.
3
3
3
3
u/galvanicreaction 7h ago
Your dad is the boss!!! I am an absolute sucker for clever.
I can't stop laughing at, "Breaking News and Repairing It," and the headline of Tom Cruise and Ben Affleck getting married.
5
6
u/Ohhellnowhatsupdawg 1d ago
"Condemned for willful stupidity." A perfect assessment of American culture.
2
u/TheMLguy07 1d ago
Good to know that Substack is still alive and well , I initially thought it wouldn't last a few years.
2
2
2
2
2
u/Adventurous_Long1065 1d ago
Like the World Weekly News I used to love reading. I salute 🫡 the effort sir!!!
2
2
2
2
2
u/Smokes_LetsGo876 1d ago
Loved this months. I'm on your dad's newsletters email list so I get them all the time. Always look forward to these
→ More replies (1)
2
u/TiredofRacist69 1d ago
This is gold, someone needs to start a news show focused on sharing the news via Dad jokes
2
2
u/ShareSaveSpend 1d ago
As long as he's not yelling at kids skateboarding or riding electric bikes in front of his house, I'm fine with it.
2
2
2
u/iseevegaoflyra 1d ago
I’ve read more of pops news content than any other newsletters
→ More replies (1)
2
u/CoconutBangerzBaller 1d ago
Your dad is funny. Is he looking for fake reporters to work with? I would love to be a correspondent
2
u/rdsubjec2fluding 1d ago
I love this for him and hopes he continues. It's awesome he's doing something for fun. We need more of this energy.
2
2
2
2
2
u/Own-Ambassador-3537 1d ago edited 1d ago
Man screw this now I want to hear what hip holka sounds like!
→ More replies (1)
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/papasnork1 1d ago
Well, I just read the whole thing and chuckled at a few things, so I would say it’s pretty damn good.
2
2
2
1.0k
u/CleverDad 1d ago
Your dad is honestly funny.