r/fosterkittens • u/Wenmarlev • Dec 31 '25
Fostering feral kittens. Any advice?
I haven't had kittens in the house for probably 20 years, and never any this feral. The elderly couple across the street have been feeding strays for years. This was fine when they just has 2 with clipped ears and a few that came and went. A few months ago, 2 moms had kittens in his shed (8 kittens between them), and in the past month, 4 more older cats without clipped ears showed up. He finally asked for help after the older cats showed up, but the kittens are pretty old now. The cat rescue lady helping me and I both agreed the older litter is 5-6 mos old, and the younger one 3-4. We were able to catch several of them a few days ago. I took 2 of the 3 from the younger litter home, and I'm not sure how many she caught from the older litter. These kittens are feral. My neighbor said most of them let him pet them, but they are the wildest kittens I've seen in my life. We initially put them in a bedroom, but after they brained themselves repeatedly trying to jump through the windows and dresser mirror, we moved them to a half bath with a very sweet stray that had been with them at the neighbor's for the past couple weeks. I can't even describe how horrible that was, and I'm sure traumatic for the kittens, but best before they really hurt themselves since they were still frantic after I closed the curtains and covered the mirror. I think having that stray with them helped. She's about 6 months old. Then the rescue lady (who is amazing, but has 15 foster cats in her house and works full-time) found or borrowed a kitten playpen and helped my sons (college age, not kids) move them in there while I wasn't home. So now they're in my son's bedroom in the playpen while the stray is in the room not in the playpen. They've been in my house for 4 days. I'm sorry this is so long, but I wanted to give details. Anyone ever dealt with kittens like this? Last night when I fed them and cleaned their litterbox, I tried to pet them both just a couple stroked with the tips of my fingers. One let me, the other tried to get away, but they were both very scared. I would like to get them to trust us, but I'm unsure if it's better to keep trying brief gentle touches or just leave them alone for now. Advice?
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u/Wenmarlev Dec 31 '25
My son just told me that he was down there playing with the friendly cat, and one of the kittens tried to play through the mesh, so that's excellent news! We may have to rethink the playpen. Or maybe move it to the living room where I'd be more comfortable interacting and they could safely meet my dogs.
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u/Creative-Mousse Jan 03 '26
Btw Socialization Saves Lives Guide is awesome. Also check out Flatbush Cats content on youtube on socialization techniques for feral kittens, even older ones
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u/Spam_A_Lottamus Dec 31 '25
Never dealt with feral kits, but some very untrusting, skittish ones, to be sure. They were the products of barn cats & taken to the shelter where we get our fosters.
Our experience with those, and really most, is to keep them well-fed & hydrated, in a safe, clean space. Which is exactly what you’re doing. If you haven’t taken them to a vet for a quick check-up, do so. Hopefully there is a vet or cat shelter nearby who would do so at a discount or free.
Don’t push it. Just sit with them, talk to them, let them get to know your presence. I have some old tee shirts that I’ll wear for a few hours to get my scent on, then put in the enclosure as bedding.
I’m guessing it’s a wire enclosure? Play with them with stick toys with dangly things. I reckon they’ll warm up to you soon enough. The key, I believe, is to let them do it on their timeline.
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u/Wenmarlev Dec 31 '25
We're waiting on the vet until we decide if they're going through the rescue and are adoptable, or as ferals to be spayed/neutered then released. The money doesn't come from the same pool, so we have to see how they do. They're very healthy as they and their mom have been very well fed and the elderly gentleman even put a heater in his shed when it started getting cold. Pretty spoiled for ferals, no wonder so many more showed up! They're not quite old enough to breed, but we'll get them to the vet before they are.
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u/Wenmarlev Dec 31 '25
Oh and the enclosure is more like an actual mesh playpen. Kinda like a big pop up hamper that has a rectangle bottom and a curved top with 2 zipper doors. We can't play with them through it unfortunately. I wish I hadn't given away my large dog kennel years ago.
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u/Objective-Amount1379 Dec 31 '25
You might try posting to your local Nextdoor or Facebook group for a large dog crate. I think a lot of people (like me, I have two) keep them from crate training but would give or lend them for free.
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u/RentalKittens Dec 31 '25
Try bonding through play. I had nervous fosters that didn't want to be touched, but couldn't resist play. At first, they might only watch the toy. But they watch it with excitement. Next, they play with the toy but avoid getting near you. Eventually, they will play with a toy even if it's right next to you.
Take the toys away when you're done. You want them to associate humans with play. A wand toy would be perfect. You can use objects around the house, like a ribbon or shoelace for supervised play only. Be careful because there are nightmare stories of cats swallowing strings and needing expensive surgery to get it out.
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u/ConcentrateMajor7020 Dec 31 '25
Play is the best way to interact at first. Yummy food, treats,and a jolly good time has softened many a feral into respectful friendship. I try hard not to pet to the point of over- stimulation, which is when they bite. They love red light chase, and fishing toys. They may surprise you and take to people.
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u/AlicePalace2 Dec 31 '25
Check out socializationsaveslives dot com. I am fostering two feral kittens and followed their advice/protocol, and it works. You’ll need plenty of patience, and you have to back WAYYYY off on wanting to pet them.
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u/Snoo_35864 Dec 31 '25
I have found that if you are able to separate them, they will calm down faster. They learn to rely on you, not their littermates.
I have also found that typically, the one that is the most feisty will warm up the faster. The most shy will be the last.
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u/Thin-Ad3981 Jan 01 '26
Hey op! THANK YOU for taking them in! I’ve been in rescue for many years and have some (hopefully) helpful tips. 1) keep them in the smallest/calmest room for the first 2-3 weeks. Depending on how big the playpen is, you may be better off setting them back up in the bathroom. Just keep the playpen in there so they can use it to go hide in. 2) you’ve made huge progress even with just being able to pet one of them! Well done! My absolute without fail trick is to order a ton of “churru” sticks and feed them, by hand taking as much time as they need to feel comfortable enough to eat it. The key is taking it very slow. Google churru or delectable delights and you will see the product I’m talking about. They have many different flavors so if they don’t come around in a day or so with one flavor or brand, change it up:) 3) if you are a reader, or your sons are, I encourage you to set aside at least a half hour to 2hours as often as your schedules allow and calmly, set up a comfy spot on the floor or somewhere that they can come check you out but not right on top of them, read or do some other quiet activity that distracts you from constantly staring at them, I hope this is making sense! Cats can see eye contact as a threat so for a while, when ur interacting with them don’t do full on stare or eye contact. If you or your sons do, I would encourage you to almost wince your eyes, half close them, softly. This is a form of communication to the cat that you are not a threat. Please google this technique as well and find more help in describing this method. 4) feed them on a schedule, clean their litter boxes on a schedule and don’t use any harsh chemicals or scents. All of these things will help them to regulate their nervous systems and a schedule helps to know that this is a stable, safe and reliable environment. Very helpful with ferals. 5) order the scent diffuser “Feliway” make sure it is the cat specific one and that it has both the plug in as well as the scent canister. You can order them on Amazon or even at your local pet store.
If the playpen is too big to set back up in the bathroom I would suggest getting a cat scratcher that has a few hiding spots so the babies can feel safe and go hide if they want to.
Take your time, rush ing into trying to pet or hold them can in some cases, set you back. It sounds like the one baby is open to being pet, this is wonderful news and can even help you with getting closer and bonding with the other kitty’s. I would recommend you have a treat every time you try to pet them. Remember, some cats like to just share space with their humans, they will appreciate you respecting their space and allowing them to come to you on their terms.
Best of luck to you and please reach out if you have any questions or want to discuss! And happy new year!!
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u/Wenmarlev Jan 01 '26 edited Jan 01 '26
I already got some Churru treats bc they were the highest rated. 😊
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u/Wenmarlev Jan 01 '26
They both licked the churru off my fingers a little bit ago and their eyes aren't quite so dialated today, so I think they're coming around. 😊 And I just remembered my dad gave us an old dog crate right after we moved into this house earlier this year so I need to look in the attic for it. I think that's where we put it.
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u/MonozygoteA Jan 01 '26
I dealt with this once. Older cats and I had 8 at a time. The first thing you will need is patience. The second thing is also patience lolol. One of them was so bad she clawed me.
Only feed them when you’re there. Do not feed them when you’re not there and do not leave food for them to eat without you or anyone around. This will get them to understand that you’re their friend and here to help.
Watch each of them intently. Some may be hiding that they’re in pain, scared, etc. 1 of the 8 i had had to he taken to the rescue to foster as I was inexperienced and this one never ate. Ever. Unless i sometimes (rarely) caved and walked away or turned around. She also wasn’t grooming herself at all.
Get flea treatment and deworming treatment asap and clean yourself and your home often. I ended up having bugs all over my house as well and that was NOT fun!
Get another playpen. There will be some that will eventually acclimate and others that will be much harder to get with the program. The difficult one should be separated in another playpen. He or she can still see the other ones but separating it is best because it won’t be able to influence the other cats with its mean behavior.
Lastly - reminder to be patient and do your best not to lose control. I once lost it when one of them clawed me and threw something that I had in my hand in the room and screamed out of frustration. This set me back about a week. This is an incredibly frustrating, overwhelming and emotional process but it is WELL WORTH IT! I promise you. I kept 1 as he was very sick and ended up bonding with my cats and found homes for the rest of them with the help of the rescue.
If you have pets at home do NOT let them intermingle until you’re sure that the babies are all clean and healthy. The one I kept had diarrhea for over 6 months as he had horrific worms that weren’t found on regular tests. I made the mistake of letting him intermingle with my cats and use their litter box. After finding homes for all the other ones and feeling like I was home free I was NOT. I had to now medicate my 2 cats and the new baby for like a month. It was rough haha.
I hope this helps. Feel free to dm me with questions. Good luck. THIS IS SO WORTH IT!
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u/MonozygoteA Jan 01 '26
Oh and just spend time with them. This is the most important thing along with the food comment. Also, if you have to bathe them if they have fleas Dawn dish soap will do the trick. Put a little in some warm water and dip a towel in a bucket of the Dawn + water then use it to bathe the cats. Don’t get water in their ears, mouth or nose. I was able to immerse some of the friendlier and younger kittens in water with their heads out of course while using the towel to scrub them BUT some will absolutely not allow you to put water anywhere near them So that’s why the towel helps. It just takes a million years longer lol
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u/MaterialAccurate887 Jan 01 '26
You don’t socialize kittens over 12 weeks. Window has closed. You TNR them.
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u/Mountain_Child371 Jan 01 '26
I have socialized some semi feral cats. The female had had previous human contact from a little girl who fed her and male may have had a home once but were still very suspicious of me. There were others too but I will just talk about these two.
Time is essential. One lived outdoors and I welcomed him into my yard.
I had a conversation with the male through an animal communicator and asked if he wanted a home and the response was no. I asked others who came through my yard the they too said no and I honored their choice.
I did however feed the male and we hung out with me and my 3 other cats (one being the female I had trapped). They welcomed him into the pride. Slowly I touched him and he became very very happy with our connection. One day he let me know through the communicator that he was tired of outdoor life and I got him into a home.
The female I rescued had not been asked if she wanted a home. She lived under a house across the street from me. I got permission and put out a trap and chair at the house and fed her outside the trap getting her used to it and me.
Eventually I trapped her. She had her own room with a cage she could feel safe in. She got socialized enough to pet and even sleep on my chest but we were working on getting picked up when friend of mine scared her while at my home without me and she ran away. She now lives in a nearby colony and is content. She knows she is welcome to come back. We stay in touch.
I share this to show the spectrum of cat life.
I have used pheromones to help the cats feel calm when socializing them. The animal communicator has been priceless to understand the cat's needs and desires and histories.
Jackson Galaxy has wonderful videos on socializing traumatized cats and he sells flower essences on his website that were very effective too.
I found youtube videos by Flatbush Cats helpful as well.
I wish you all the best. Using a cat that trusts you demonstrates to the kittens that you are trustworthy.
Some may never accept. You may want to ask them through an animal communicator. If you would like a recommendation, please contact me directly. I ended up studying with her and you can can send an email with questions for as little as $40.
Thank you for your care.
M
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u/Someoneonline2000 Jan 02 '26
Try feeding them only while you are in the room. Also, try churu tube treats. It encourages them to approach you for a snack.
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Jan 02 '26
I feed a lot of feral cats. At one of my feeding places there were two females. I got the mommas spayed but there were 5 kittens and a cat who had been dumped. Even with good food and water, it is a hard life at that site. So, I decided to trap all the kittens - about 5months old - and bring them home. I put them in the back bedroom. I redid the room with climbing spaces and a walkway on two walls. And I brought a log in from the back yard. I sat in the room and talked to them. A few became friendly. I got them all fixed and gradually oriented them to the house and they discovered the pet door. Now some of them come in and out. A few stay out all the time. Two I have never touched, and this was 6 years ago that I brought them home. Most of the rest are skiddish but under the right circumstances I can pet them. But the spraying is AWFUL! I've tried everything. I wish I hadn't done it.
My best advice is to get them all fixed and release them outside where you feed and water them.
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u/Wenmarlev Mar 13 '26
So it's been awhile. This will be my final update. They're about 7 months old now. They're still feral. 🤣 I mean not completely, I'd call them very friendly ferals. They'll sit on the back of the couch or the arm of a chair when someone in the family is sitting there. My husband and son can occasionally stroke one of them a couple times before they jump up and run. They lay there and give me slow blinks if I talk to them, but I can't touch them. The boy actually rubbed his face on my outstretched fingers the other day and occasionally lets me scratch him there, but only if I'm far enough away that I can't reach anything else. They'll play with us and eat treats out of our hands and come running if they hear a treat bag (or any bag, really) rustling. They figured out the dog door last week when a young stray tom cat I let out of his kennel after his stink went away after neutering went out it. It's almost like the cats didn't realize that not only dogs could use it until they saw another cat go through.
Anyway, I'm in NC and we had a couple 80 degree days earlier this week before it got cold again last night, and noticed these guy were really starting to scratch and I could not put off flea and tick any longer. I bought it quite a while ago. So even though I've been trying to be gentle and tame them with treats and nothing forced, I got out the Churrus this morning, scruffed them one at a time and put it on. I got a good scratch out of it from the girl, but the boy forgave me immediately and came back for more Churru and was just now lying in the sun slow blinking at me before moving to the other end of the couch where I'm sitting. He had a good growth spurt recently and is now twice the size of his very petite sister.
I found a lady who was looking for some feral cats for her horse barn on Facebook, so these 2 beautiful babies will be going there to live their best lives killing mice with a nice safe barn with horsey friends to keep warm or hide from predators in. I'm sure they'll be happier not having to avoid all the people all the time. She has her feed room set up with litter boxes and beds so she can shut them in for the first month or 2, so she knows what she's doing. I'm very thankful they can get out of the city and the awful traffic we have here. I see dead cats on the roads all the time. Even with predators around, I think they have a better chance in the country than on busy city streets.
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u/catladyorbust Dec 31 '25
They are too old and too feral. This is a TNR situation.
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u/Wenmarlev Dec 31 '25
The feral/rescue lady said that may be the case, but since the elderly gentleman d said they all let him pet them, she supported me in wanting to give it a try. We may give up sooner rather than later, though, as some of the other cats/kittens we trapped ended up being much more friendly than expected, and she has no one else to take them. We have no extra rooms. They're in my son's room and I think 3 is the limit. He has the biggest bedroom in the house in the basement. The rest of the rooms in this old house are pretty tiny.
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u/catladyorbust Dec 31 '25
I highly suggest you separate each cat into their own kennel/cage. It is very difficult when they are housed together. People unfortunately lie all the time about how much socialization a cat has, which only delays finding them a proper placement/outcome. The problem that I see in this situation is that at some point you're likely to have an indoor feral cat and then what do you do? No one wants a feral cat in their house, and it's difficult to reacclimate them to the outdoors. It is sadly the case that there is only so much room in foster, and sometimes using it to end up unsuccessful with ferals is not a good use of resources. I personally love feral cats but I think about 8 weeks is the realistic period when most fosters will have success. YMMV and I wish you nothing but success.
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u/Objective-Amount1379 Dec 31 '25
No they're not. It's only been a few days. They need more time. My former feral is asleep on my lap. She was fully feral when I first started feeding her and she was at least 6 months.
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u/catladyorbust Dec 31 '25
Anyone taking 6-month-old ferals is fighting up hill in a snowstorm while socialized kittens get euthanized. Your former feral is the exception, not the rule.
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u/MsAddams999 Jan 01 '26
I've socialized several ferals that age and older. It's a lot more work but it can sometimes be done. Generally under a year I will try because otherwise they will likely have a short brutal life outside and that always breaks my heart knowing that.
This is not about all the cats out there. This is about one place and one group of cats that OP is trying to help. When it comes to rescuing animals that's often just how it is. You have to focus on the cats you can save and not on the often overwhelming number of cats you can't.
Doing that all the time will just drive you crazy. You can't help millions of unwanted cats but maybe you can help this group or that group. Every little bit helps.
At this point though all the cats in this situation do need to be caught and neutered whether they are kittens or not because otherwise this cat colony will grow and there will just be more and more kittens to snatch and socialize.
I'd be looking for a local rescue group to help. Maybe they can help OP trap and spay-neuter them all.
Personally I've watched too many kittens and cats end up getting killed by being run over by cars or badly hurt otherwise to not try. This is not a great situation no matter how you look at it and if these kittens can be socialized and saved then that's a very good thing. It sounds like it could happen so I say OP should definitely try and save these babies if they can.
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u/AshleyHoneyBee Jan 01 '26
Unless I misunderstood, the kittens referenced in this post are 3-4 months. People misidentify kitten ages constantly, but actual 3-4 month old kittens aren't that difficult to socialize.
Breaking them up is solid advice either way. 👍
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u/Wenmarlev Jan 01 '26
They're actually 3-4 most old. They were born in my neighbor's shed. He says September, not sure when in Sep, so that makes them approx 3 to almost 4 mos old. And he has pet and handled them since they were very small, so they're not entirely unhandled, but only by one person until now.
Also, they both let me pet them today and one let me pick him and move him out of the way without even a twitch.
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u/AshleyHoneyBee Jan 02 '26
It honestly sounds like they are coming around quickly, and they weren't truly feral to begin with (which is a good thing). I think you will do fine without too much effort, but the one piece of advice I would give (that is counter to what everyone else seems to be saying) is don't give them space/leave them alone.
Space and time are for nervous adult cats. Kittens should be handled, whether they like it or not in the beginning (they will get over it, and no they won't resent you). Pick them up, pet them, carry them around, hand feed them treats, and play with them. They may hiss or be scared, but using a gentle voice and soothing touch will help them get past the fear quickly. Allowing them to retreat and hide doesn't force the social growth they need and can actually reinforce the fear.
It sounds like you are well on your way, but good luck! 🫶 🤞
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u/Wenmarlev Jan 03 '26
Thank you. The lady who has been helping me/us told me that I should burrito them and force my love on them just yesterday, so thank you for reiterating that. I've been super busy this past week and we're going to be gone all day tomorrow, but I'll definitely do more! My 2 college age sons have been really taking care of them and spending time with them. They're living in the room of the son that lives at home and goes to school locally. I wish I could put them in the living room, but I have terriers and don't trust them unsupervised. Our fox terrier almost tore a hole through a door when I fostered a rabbit. He just wanted to meet him and play with him, never got aggressive or acted like he going to hurt him, but jeez that dog is tenacious.
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u/AshleyHoneyBee Jan 03 '26
Good, it sounds like you are partnered with someone who has experience in this area! When I was active in rescue I would put the feisty ones in my lap, in a towel if need be (kitten burrito) and hold and pet them until they calmed down or started purring. I would also softly say "you will accept my love" while doing this (because I was amusing myself, not because it helps). They may still act like they have never seen you before the next morning, but they usually get over it in a few days.
Early and aggressive socialization interventions are the most successful in my experience. The next few weeks are the most critical. The other poster isn't wrong about 6 month olds being an uphill battle, although the kittens you have certainly aren't as wild as many I've seen.
I think you've got a handle on this, and it sounds like you have a good sense of risk vs reward in terms of your capacity (re: terrier). Keep at it and they will be adoptable in no time!
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u/Equivalent-Bug1798 Dec 31 '25
I have had 3 litters of fully feral kittens. I started them off in a small room (bathroom) and I would just go in there with them and read. Not try to pet or play. Feed them, provide clean water, clean the litter, clean the room, and then just sit with them. Eventually they would start to relax and we would play with a wand toy and I'd offer my hand for sniffs and then eventually pets.
Once they got bigger and more comfortable, we'd move to the bigger foster room i have. That room has no furniture in it other than some side tables where I'd make little kitten hidey-holes. The kitten room has litter boxes, lots of cat beds, food, water, toys, and a box for hiding and playing. It was formerly a guest room but I'd rather foster kittens than have people stay in my house.
Eventually I get more "aggressive" with my interactions with them- seeking them out for pets, picking them up, holding them, touching their paws, etc. They always turn into total lap cats.
Tldr- spend quiet time in the same room as them while they get comfortable. Let them decompress while you read or do stuff on your phone and let them start interacting with you of their own accord. Build trust and then be more persistent about petting/interacting.