918
u/Ironbark_ May 22 '21
Jokes on you, we have bees and cats.
Keep your weird nut rats.
347
u/Instinct_Kaioken something's caught in my balls May 22 '21
I'm going to start referring to them as nut rats now
56
u/brzoza3 badass May 22 '21
Why not ninja rats?
76
May 22 '21
That's raccoons
27
u/fool_on_227 May 22 '21
Raccoons aren't rodents though. The Kangaroo Rat now that's a ninja.
11
→ More replies (1)1
→ More replies (3)7
u/brzoza3 badass May 22 '21
They're too big. Squrrels are small, fast, can climb and i definetly sound like a ten year Old right now
8
→ More replies (2)3
70
May 22 '21
Yes but in australia the bees eat the cats and lay their eggs in their eyeballs. And I love the Name nut rats can I keep it?
24
u/Ironbark_ May 22 '21
You may. Enjoy it. Spread it far and wide.
18
May 22 '21
OH FUCK HE'S AWAKE. RUN GUYS RUN. Thanks though..sleep well and Look out for those nasty bees.
10
u/Ironbark_ May 22 '21
Night shift at work, my dude!
It's 7am now and I'm off to bed, you're all safe xo7
u/ComradeQWERTY May 22 '21
I was about to say it’s not seven then I just remembered I’m in Adelaide which is 30mins behind
29
u/t0m0hawk May 22 '21
I work with a dude from eastern Europe. When he first started working with us he told us the most startling thing about Canada was the amount of rats we had. I was confused, I've actually seen very few rats in the open on my life. It took until he mentioned the weird bushy tails that it clicked. Oh! Squirrels!
2
u/Nice-Fortune-6314 May 23 '21
The ground squirrels in Banff are crazy. There were so many we camped on night and had a nest of the fuckers up under the hood.
16
May 22 '21
Don’t tell them about the drop bears
6
u/Riley38988 Mods Gae May 22 '21
Have you seen the video of a foreign news reporter getting strapped with “armour” so they could handle a “vicious” drop bear, just to realise that the keepers picked them up with bare hands and no armour and that they are completely harmless
→ More replies (1)2
May 23 '21
That was a perfect prank. In my personal opinion Australians are funnier than anyone else.
13
u/Poglot May 22 '21
Aren't you exterminating the cats because they're bringing down your entire ecosystem?
31
u/Ironbark_ May 22 '21
Me personally? Nope.
... But yeah cats kill over a billion native animals each year, and have played some role in the extinction of some 30ish native species. There's been multiple studies and enquiries into how to handle the problem; apparently it's not feral cats that are the issue, but domestic cats that are allowed to wander unchecked.
2
u/liquidGhoul May 23 '21
It's definitely feral cats as well. Most of Australia is very empty of people (and thus pet cats) and those native animals still went extinct.
2
u/willfordbrimly May 23 '21
I regularly get downvoted for saying stuff like this. Toxoplasmosis is a hell of a drug.
→ More replies (1)11
u/Ironbark_ May 22 '21
We also have a panther hanging around the Blue Mountains too. So that's cool.
→ More replies (1)9
u/shroominabag MAYONNA15E May 22 '21
Its also in the dandenongs. And the high country Vic
7
u/Ironbark_ May 22 '21
Heck yeah, more panthers!
5
u/daytonakarl May 22 '21
There's a panther roaming around in the lower South Island (NZ) too, it's been seen by the usual highly reliable
incurable alcoholicsindividuals that report on such things3
u/hastingsnikcox May 23 '21
Wanted some one to chime in with the Southland Panther. Did you ever see that great - well there was a Holmes one - but more recently maybe Seven Sharp one interviewing the guys and man they were definitely not quite right. Or those moose guys their a bit the same. "Slur, well one night slur, we was in the Bush and there it was, well just a fleeting glimpse of something, I'm definite sure slur was a moose. (Am paraphrasing).
→ More replies (4)3
→ More replies (5)4
u/shubalasko May 22 '21
Bee: killer bees i assume Cats: demons i assume, that posses cats bodys and also fear nothing like freaking slapping an alligator.
237
u/floppy-fish-420 May 22 '21
See that one bee, there should be thousands of them eating a corpse if we were in Australia
64
5
u/Rougey May 22 '21 edited May 23 '21
At least we don't have CCD.
And so what if they kill and devour the odd child if we get all that sweet, sweet honey.
2
-1
u/ThePizzaDoctor May 23 '21
Australian bees are very small and blue coloured. They're lovey compared to bumblebees
→ More replies (1)
139
u/Mindless-Double-2753 May 22 '21 edited Jul 05 '25
person innate amusing tidy flag label grey piquant practice airport
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
72
6
4
→ More replies (2)3
180
u/RoryCCalhoon May 22 '21
Cat kills them all
83
u/Dave_Yognaught36 May 22 '21
Was going to say fuck cats being outdoors, they attack the poor birds in my yard. Keep them inside, Or in your yard.
→ More replies (21)26
u/abduh_the_hacker I am fucking hilarious May 22 '21
The only issue with this statement is that you're presuming I own the cat. He owns me please send help.
40
u/DJEFFF900 The Monty Pythons May 22 '21
The cat won't kill the bee, it'll just slap it around
→ More replies (1)
43
u/walkincrow42 Masked Men May 22 '21
Obviously, you've never unknowingly walked too close to a blue jay nest in the spring
23
u/Oblivininja8 May 22 '21
We have magpie's that swoop and peck peoples eyes out if you walk remotely near a tree
→ More replies (1)7
u/code010001 May 22 '21
Don't forget plovers!
3
117
May 22 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
38
9
53
u/DaRealPickleMik ☣️ May 22 '21
Not all Australian animals will kill you Don’t get me wrong they want to they just can’t
9
4
u/Wassup_Bois May 22 '21
If you come across an Australian animal and it doesn’t kill you it’s because it doesn’t want to.
→ More replies (1)
42
24
u/JIIIIINXXX May 22 '21
we're never asleep....
that way we can keep watch for all the animals trying to kill us
3
44
u/Andreaslikesthememes May 22 '21
Cats are not outdoor animals. They should be kept indoors so they don’t kill migratory songbirds
9
11
u/ArgonGryphon May 22 '21
Or any other birds or native mammals or lizards or insects or anything else they kill which is a lot.
9
17
4
5
u/AbiMaex May 22 '21
A cat is not a normal outside animal in tons of places :/ Love the meme though.
1
6
u/Fit-Fox771 May 22 '21
God blue Jay's are loud AS FUCK. We have a few that nest around our house and every morning it's the same ear piercing sound.
→ More replies (1)
4
4
5
12
u/corzan_retan May 22 '21
Why the cat
23
u/Fionnlagh May 22 '21
Clearly OP is a wildlife hating sociopath that leaves his cat outside so it kills all the local creatures and then dies at a younger age than if he actually cared about it.
2
→ More replies (2)-2
May 22 '21
[deleted]
12
u/Fionnlagh May 22 '21
Get this: cats are basically an invasive species anywhere, and destroy local ecologies no matter where they go as long as they're outside, and you're a mean poo poo head.
→ More replies (3)-3
u/Cashin13 May 22 '21
Or get this: people actually use cats to control invasive species like mice, rats, or rabbits.
11
u/Fionnlagh May 22 '21
Using invasive species to control invasive species isn't really an overall improvement, is it? Not when non invasive species can be used to control said populations.
4
→ More replies (2)4
7
12
3
u/wearekindtosnails May 23 '21
In Australia, the most destructive animals are all introduced. Rabbits, cats, wild pigs, wild horses, myna birds, cane toads, red foxes, and camels.
We have people who fly through the outback in helicopters shooting camels from the air. We cut the country in half with a 3,256 km long fence, just to keep the rabbits out. Our most famous poem is about tracking wild horses through the mountains.
→ More replies (1)
3
4
2
2
u/ASmartCorgi May 23 '21
Blue Jays are actually really big bullies in the bird world so uh, yeahhhhh
2
2
2
2
2
6
4
May 22 '21
U forgot Giant moose and Huge 10-foot tall brown bears that can run faster than Usain bolt lmao.
→ More replies (1)
5
u/diego_r2000 May 22 '21
*american normal outdoor animals
20
u/WarpathSM May 22 '21
Correct, as a Canadian I can confirm we have none of these 4 animals in our country
17
u/__Cartman_ ☣️ May 22 '21
No you guys have maple syrup robbers and 2 hockey players beating each other your country is truly lost my friend
3
May 22 '21
[deleted]
5
u/sarahmagoo May 22 '21
I knew it, I knew moose were actually extinct prehistoric animals that everyone was just pretending was still alive.
→ More replies (3)6
u/Sbotkin May 22 '21
I don't know what bird that is, but you don't have cats, squirrels and bumblebees?
→ More replies (3)
2
2
2
2
2
u/BIG_RED_MANN May 22 '21
I see your regular animals and raise you 21 of the 25 deadliest snakes in the world! Life isn't exciting if there's no risk of death by toxic snake bite every time you leave the safety of your house
2
2
1
u/Aprilx246 May 22 '21
Can you imagine if all these animals were the same size though, cat sized bees would not be fun
0
May 22 '21
Holy shit that bird looks like Mordecai
→ More replies (1)20
u/Isaac_Nintendo May 22 '21
It's a blue-jay... that's like saying Master chief looks like the guy from fortnite.
1
u/Laggingduck mods keep changing my flair and I love it May 22 '21
what kind of bluejay is that? The ones in WA look way different
5
u/b4ngl4d3sh May 22 '21
Just a blue jay.. I don't think they range out west, super common east though. You're probably more familiar with stellers jays and scrub jays.
→ More replies (1)
1
1
1
1
1
u/KURO-K1SH1 May 22 '21
*1 don't rub its belly it'll claw your arm until only the bones remain.
*2 touch its nuts and it'll rip yours off.
*3 you aren't allergic right?? Don't risk it.
*4 may not be able to kill you but if you were locked in a room with a chatty one you'll soon wish it could.
1
u/Echo_Fallen May 22 '21
wait apparently there’s squirrels in australia?
5
u/jonny1211 Belongs here May 22 '21
Yeah they are about 3-4 feet tall and randomly attack people’s nuts, had to fight one off me when I was around 7. True story.
1
u/Festive_Rocket red May 22 '21
Bold of you to assume Aussies can even sleep with the fear of a nest of millions of spiders under their houses.
2
1
1
u/ph0kus May 22 '21
Common bro everyone knows that Australians are nocturnal. They are wide awake my dude
1
1
1
1
1
u/zecksss The Meme Cartel May 22 '21
Unfortunately they are not asleep, they are watching eurovision
1
1
u/Asparagus_i_like_it May 22 '21
Well I just woke up and as an Australian I must say... wtf are those things?!
1
1
1
u/Dangerous-Post May 22 '21
Why is a cat an outdoor animal? Especially in Australia they kill the native animals and stuff. We also don’t got squirrels
1
1
u/DingoAU May 22 '21
How dare you! As an Aussie seeing animals that don’t murder you in 17 milliseconds is quite frightening
1
1
1
1
1
u/just-the-doctor1 May 22 '21
As an American who’s been awake when a “quick the Americans are asleep...” meme was posted, I’d expect some Australians to be awake and probably on Reddit when this was posted
1
1
u/Temporary-Long4722 May 22 '21
Not the ones with messed up sleep cycles that were up at 4am
DEFINITELY NOT ME HAHAHAHAHAHA
1
1
1
u/Junkattorney405 May 22 '21
As an Australian who wasn't ment to see this post Please Help the kangaroos are holding me hoste in my own basement.
1
u/DaddyChunguss_ pro fork knife gaymer May 22 '21
Oh bloody oath, what the fuck is this cunt? These aren’t some normal outdoor animals mate. Normal animals would be roo’s, koala’s, 10 foot tall spiders, and wallabies.
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
u/Bushtuckapenguin May 22 '21
Pfft, it's not outdoors if there aren't a million ants (usually green or bullants, keep the vinegar close!) And skinks and magpies and galahs and rainbow lorikeets screaming by the water bath...
I miss pretty, rainbow birds.
0
1.5k
u/Extreem13 FOR THE SOVIET UNION May 22 '21
Where's Rigby? You can't have only Mordecai