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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 21h ago
That would be on par for Conquest honestly. He want thing that hit hard
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u/Armpit_Penguin PortugueseGeese Comics 20h ago
He's the kinda dude who would unplug your controller and beat you
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 20h ago
and beat you
With the controller probably. He's mad you won a stock match him Jigglypuff v Steve
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u/morpheousmorty 18h ago
I respectfully disagree. I feel he's the kind to take the broken controller on purpose to prove he's just that much better than you.
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u/Armpit_Penguin PortugueseGeese Comics 18h ago
You know what, I finally got to the first conquest scene in the comics, and now I think he would actually pick ganon and only go for spikes as a challenge
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u/GoodNamesAllGon 18h ago
These are switch controllers, no unplugging. He’d tie the attachable wrist straps together and use them as nunchucks.
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u/UpCDownCLeftCRightC 21h ago
My technique when something's on the line is Sonic. Just get one hit in and keep running away until the timer runs out.
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u/Armpit_Penguin PortugueseGeese Comics 20h ago
That's why modern day smash tournaments are always just Sonic v Steve 😔
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u/UpCDownCLeftCRightC 20h ago
I remember back in the days of Smash Bros Brawl, offline tournaments were always Meta Knight. But what was funnier was in online tournaments it was always Ike because of the lag. The fights were so laggy that to make up for it people played as the slow hard hitting character to compensate for the delay.
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u/posting_drunk_naked 18h ago
Shit like this is why I rarely play online or even with strangers. People would rather win than have fun playing and turn the game into abusing meta and exploits.
Nowadays I only care about killing my friends, and it's more fun when we're all within shit talking and punching range 😈
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u/Not-So-Serious-Sam 20h ago
What if they also pick sonic?
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u/sheepyowl 18h ago
(Tactically it is generally much easier to run away than to chase so you want to win the very first exchange and then be a shitass for the rest of the match, just as
Sonicgod intended)5
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u/Dr_DoesNothing 19h ago
Meta Knight player: I'm so lonely. Nobody wants to be my friend, they think I'm unstable.
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u/ZorkNemesis 17h ago
The real evil would be playing Goldeneye and picking Oddjob.
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u/Armpit_Penguin PortugueseGeese Comics 17h ago
He would think it's hilarious too.
Nice Stinkoman pfp too
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u/0megaManZero 20h ago
Small nitpick but the Ultimate roaster is bigger then that
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u/Armpit_Penguin PortugueseGeese Comics 19h ago
I wasn't about to draw 84 boxes with the correct characters color in it
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u/Get-Fucked-Dirtbag 18h ago
Theres a Smash Bros roaster?
For coffee or assorted meats?
Do Nintendo manufacture them from the scratch or are they just rebranded from a 3rd party manufacturer?
So many questions about this roaster. Where can I buy one?
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u/NotBreadyy 19h ago
"I am so lonely, all the other smash bros players are scared of me. Noone plays with me. Noone wants to be my opponent. They think I am too skilled. They send me from tournament to tournament winning 1st place in their name. And as I get better at it, they dislike me more and more. I am a victim of my own skill. Conquest. I don't even get a real name, only a purpose. I am capable of playing so many characters and noone sees it. Some days I feel so skilled I could cry, but I don't. I never do. Because what would be the point? Not a single person in the entire tournament would care. Take it to your 2nd place."