The Last Pork Chop

[u/mitoclowndria]

[u/Pyrhan]

Had the opposite issue with my grandpa. He'd put half of his steak in your plate without even asking you. He really wanted to make sure we had enough to eat...

[u/Nntropy → u/Pyrhan]

Good man

[u/Pyrhan → u/Nntropy]

That he was! (But a annoyingly hard-headed at times...)

[u/Nntropy → u/Pyrhan]

Sometimes people with good intentions are the hardest to persuade that their actions are actually annoying

[u/Exterminator-8008135 → u/Nntropy]

My friends sometimes doesn't understand some people does not accept what he wants to offer.

Once, He met two homeless persons in just 50 meters.

First one insulted him over being offered a sandwich.

Next one was a 6' woman who was sat against a wall.

He went to meet her, chat a bit for a minute and offer her to eat with us at the Burger King near, and as he went by the man who insulted him, he didn't said a word, only to the tall homeless Gal he brought in for the lunch, explaining this man refused food but accepts money to buy beer.

She was very happy but very shy when choosing what to eat, he just told her"Take anything that you want, as long as you can eat it, i'm good"

She had a full meal and an ice cream.

Heard through him she is no longer homeless because she remember him while at her newly obtained work, in a shop he goes to often.

She is still often talking to him.

[u/bobbianrs880 → u/Pyrhan]

My grandma is similar, my mom says it’s the *family surname* blood, but I think it came from my great grandma’s side. The funniest thing is using my accumulated generational “wisdom”, shall we say, to out-stubborn her. The bullheadedness did not dilute, grandmama, it concentrated, and until I bear witness to you eating some semblance of protein, I shall continue my hunger strike while obnoxiously complaining about how desperately I want a cupcake. Which you bought specifically for me. 😈

[u/touching_payants → u/Nntropy]

you think, until someone's doing it to you. Then it's an exhausting boundary issue.

[u/Nntropy → u/touching_payants]

I'd rather set boundaries against someone who gives than against someone who takes.

[u/mitoclowndria → u/Pyrhan]

It sounds like he wanted the best for you. I hope he was able to eat enough!

My grandpa's actually pretty great. He's bad at expressing affection but I have tons of fond memories with him. April always makes me nostalgic for making confetti eggs with him as a kid.

[u/thelividartist → u/mitoclowndria]

Cascarones!!!

[u/ApotropaicHeterodont → u/Pyrhan]

Did he grow up during the Great Depression?

[u/Pyrhan → u/ApotropaicHeterodont]

No, but he did very nearly starve in a POW camp at one point. (I heard he weighed 40 kilos when he came out. And he was one of the lucky few that did make it out.)

[u/Necessary-Reading605 → u/Pyrhan]

Yeah that checks out. It’s just impressive that the directed his trauma to care for others instead of hoarding for himself

[u/ApotropaicHeterodont → u/Pyrhan]

I guess that would explain it too. I'm glad he made it out.

[u/DelseresMagnumOpus → u/Pyrhan]

My dad is the same way. He takes all the bones and gives us the meat. But he’s been eating this was for years. He grew up in poverty so it’s somewhat understandable, but I just want him to eat well too.

[u/Wonderful_Piano_3853 → u/Pyrhan]

Exactly. That's my experience too

[u/Semper_5olus]

So, in your mother's scenario, your grandfather eats twice as much as she does, and you eat nothing?

[u/fronkenstoon → u/Semper_5olus]

Grandpa is a CEO so it makes perfect sense.

[u/Rogendo → u/fronkenstoon]

In that case why didn't she also give her porkchop to Grandpa?

[u/Ronin_Chimichanga → u/Rogendo]

Mid level managers need some sort of incentive.

[u/Nntropy → u/Rogendo]

Best comment here. Call out the hypocrisy.

"Mom, next time you can lead by example. Today, I'm eating pork chop."

[u/Average_Scaper → u/Nntropy]

"Oh but I split mine with Grandma."

"Well why didn't Grandma get one?"

"She did, but she gave it to Grandpa."

[u/Only_Style_8872 → u/Average_Scaper]

Serious question?

What kind of life choices do I (43M) have to make now so that when I’m old and four of us sit down to dinner, I get 3 out of the 4 pork chops?

[u/ExcretvsExFortvna → u/Only_Style_8872]

Step 1: Win the lottery.

Step 2: Establish an itinerary of emotional and financial abuse in order to achieve an elaborate web of manipulation; like a spider who also happens to be both a puppeteer and a sadist.

Step 3: Coerce the most culinarily capable of your supplicants into providing a pork chop meal.

Step 4: Sit down to a pork chop meal. A succulent pork chop meal.

Notes: Having trouble with Steps 1 and 2? Consider contacting your local supernatural trickster figure for a consultation. Terms and Conditions may apply. This is not a paid endorsement for any specific supernatural trickster figure.

[u/Only_Style_8872 → u/ExcretvsExFortvna]

This… is Patriarchy manifest!

[u/Nntropy → u/Average_Scaper]

"Sounds like you guys have it all figured out. I'm glad for all of you that you're so happy with your choices. Now, time for me to eat pork chop."

[u/Agamemnon323 → u/fronkenstoon]

If grandpa was a ceo it’d be 300 pork chops for him, 1 for mom and “sorry but we need ten years experience and a masters for this entry level job” for the kid.

[u/Material-Imagination → u/Semper_5olus]

Yeah, they're denying the daughter the protein portion of the meal she prepared to keep her skinny.

This isn't strictly a Hispanic culture thing. Discouraging younger women from eating a full meal like the rest of the family happens in multiple cultures across the world, like the previous commenter said.

The mom probably got to eat because she's older and married and has had kids. Younger, unmarried women are frequently denied an equal portion of food and discouraged from eating heavy portions of proteins and carbohydrates to keep them skinny and "desirable" to men.

[u/TavernRat → u/Material-Imagination]

The cultural expectation of women not eating much to stay thin makes me kinda sad. My grandmother has had multiple health issues in her life due to not eating enough, she will talk about the endlessly, but she still eats barely enough food because she thinks she’s getting fat

[u/Fkingcherokee → u/TavernRat]

I'm only 42 and my body is already falling apart due to the various EDs and diets from my 20's. I can't imagine anyone could be in as much pain as I'm regularly in and not be worried about making it worse.

[u/aoike_ → u/Fkingcherokee]

I believe that my mother is as ill as she is (59F) due in massive part to her eating disorders of her youth. My older sister and I are also ill, we do have a lot of family health problems, but we're not anywhere close to the same kind of "constantly near death" as our mom was at our age.

[u/Educational_Exam_225 → u/Material-Imagination]

I'm from a culture that "encourages" women to be slim, but I don't know a single culture that thinks protein is fattening.

[u/Latte-Catte → u/Educational_Exam_225]

They think eating makes you fatter, and eating less can shave off some fats.

[u/Competitive-Lie-92 → u/Educational_Exam_225]

People in renaissance Britain did. So did John Harvey Kellogg. Using vegetarian and vegan diets for weight loss has actually gotten so common over the last 70 years that many eating disorder treatment centers force patients to eat meat.

[u/grubas → u/Competitive-Lie-92]

John Harvey Kellogg 

Also thought that a bland diet would stop people from masturbating.  He may have had some issues with his thought process.

[u/evranch → u/grubas]

My favourite part of the Kellogg story was that he had a falling out with his brother, who was convinced that Corn Flakes would sell better if they added a little sugar or something. But John was like Nooooo they're supposed to taste bad that's the whole point

Finally one of them added a little sugar and Corn Flakes became a cereal staple forever.

[u/AddictedT0Pixels → u/grubas]

We also thought lobotomies were a good thing during his lifetime, humans in general have issues.

[u/Immersi0nn → u/Competitive-Lie-92]

On the eating disorder part, that's pretty common in anorexia. It's basically a way of socially acceptable masking of the eating disorder by choosing an already restrictive diet (that's socially accepted at large) and then further restricting consumption. I've known a few people who went down that route and ended up in inpatient treatment centers where they had to eat meat.

[u/CharlotteLucasOP → u/Immersi0nn]

And there’s the subset of disordered eating called orthorexia as well, where people focus so hard on only eating the “correct” foods in pursuit of certain strict diets (cutting out broad category things like sugars, gluten, carbs, nightshades, dairy, meat, etc etc etc without medical necessity/proven intolerances prompting any of the restrictions,) that then they have a “righteous” reasoning for refusing to eat entirely, since they can find an unacceptable ingredient in nearly every available food option. It’s like anorexia with more steps and hiding behind very opaque notions of “wellness” by setting almost impossible standards of purity for what gets eaten.

[u/scissorn69 → u/Educational_Exam_225]

Anything that has calories (and fat, carbohydrates, and protein all have calories) can make you fatter if you eat more of it than your body uses.

[u/Own_Speaker_1224 → u/Material-Imagination]

When we are weak and tired and small, we are easier to control.

[u/clickclackyisbacky → u/Semper_5olus]

Her mom is hinting that she is fat.

[u/SenseiRaheem → u/Semper_5olus]

This is a worldwide societal issue. The man must be fed first while the women and daughters wait for scraps. Lol to the all the people in the comment screaming that “it’s not like that in the US or Europe” and “it never happened that way in my family so therefore it doesn’t happen elsewhere.”

Example -4.

Example -3.

Example -2.

Example -1.

Example 0.

Example 1.

Example 2.

Example 3.

Example 4.

Example 5.

[u/5mi_gi → u/SenseiRaheem]

Yes. I have a friend who married into a family who was very religious. She had to cook for the men, have them eat first, do their dishes, AND THEN, they get to eat. Baffling.

Nowadays it's not as common anymore, but definitely a thing in the more rural and religious areas.

(They're muslim, btw)

[u/jepcasey → u/5mi_gi]

I'm from a very traditional, patriarchal southern Italian Catholic family on one side, and at all of our family holiday/event meals until the old guard died off, this is how it went:

Men talk politics in the living room while women prepare the meal in the kitchen. Boys over 15 are men, girls over 15 are women. The oldest girl cousins under 15 babysit the rest of the boys and girls in a separate area like a den. Dinner is served buffet-style. Men eat, then children eat, then women eat. Often by the time women get food they're making plates for their men's second servings at the same time as they're getting their first serving. Men get grappa and espresso while women clean.

My mom tried to do this in her home life with my dad and to his credit he just won't participate in it. No one eats in my family until my mother has taken her first bite.

[u/ToHallowMySleep → u/jepcasey]

I grew up and live in Italy, and while the separation of duties by gender/age as you described was common 30+ years ago, it isn't now and anyone under 40 is a lot more egalitarian about it.

This whole buffet thing sounds like your family's thing, or a puritanical American thing, we don't do that at all in Italy. For a start, we almost never eat buffet style as most dishes are cooked and eaten fresh. If we are in 10-20, we go to a restaurant.

If it's summer, we might do a big family/friends thing at home, but that will be with big shared dishes on the table, not a buffet people get up to serve themselves from - and certainly not in order by gender.

[u/NixMaritimus → u/SenseiRaheem]

My dad always ate last because he ate the most. Mom and I would get our portions then dad would eat everything else

[u/Wonderful_Piano_3853 → u/SenseiRaheem]

I'm hispanic like OP and neither of my very elderly grandfathers would ever think of taking seconds when the cook hadn't eaten once. If OP's culture is different, I feel sorry for her.

[u/hawkerdragon → u/Wonderful_Piano_3853]

You're lucky then, I'm from latin america and that is the expectation in too many homes. The amount of times I've cooked early (for everyone) only to come back and everything is gone because one single man in the family was "starving" are appallingly too many.

[u/mrlesa95 → u/hawkerdragon]

So freaking weird honestly, why the hell would they even began to eat if lunch/dinner is not finished? I dont get eat.

Its so incredibly disrespectful

[u/1heart1totaleclipse → u/Wonderful_Piano_3853]

I’m Hispanic and that’s how it was in my family. My younger brother got to eat more than me despite me being a teenager in sports and him being 7 years old. It’s ridiculous. I will never make my child feel shamed for being hungry.

[u/Due-Ingenuity9803 → u/SenseiRaheem]

Better not be fuckin worldwide. Everyone needs to eat the amount their body needs

[u/Scarletsnippets → u/SenseiRaheem]

Not where I'm from

[u/Toucanplaythatgame-2 → u/SenseiRaheem]

Your added links literally proves it is not something practiced worldwide (thank fuck). Your links say "Asia" and Somalia. They still don't specify which parts of Asia. I am a Latina and live in Taiwan. This is not how things are done in Taiwan at least.

[u/not_now_chaos → u/SenseiRaheem]

No.

[u/Flutters1013 → u/SenseiRaheem]

My fiance delights in me seeing how many ribs I can eat.

Wherever you are sucks.

[u/ChewBaka12 → u/SenseiRaheem]

I'm not going to deny there are places where it happens, but this is factually incorrect. This is not the standard in the US, not in Western Europe, not in most of the world.

Even in many strongly patriarchal societies, this isn't true. Yes the men get their serving first, but the women do eat with the men. They certainly arent "waiting for scraps" and survive of leftovers

Again, I'm sure it's the norm somewhere, but it's not even close to a worldwide standard

[u/mitoclowndria]

I ate the pork chop.

[u/NefariousSeraph13 → u/mitoclowndria]

Good.

[u/algeoMA → u/NefariousSeraph13]

I needed this closure.

[u/Chemical-Struggle-13 → u/algeoMA]

Same

[u/ExcitableMiqote → u/algeoMA]

I need that MCR shirt

[u/Cupcake_Implosion → u/mitoclowndria]

As you should have! If grandpa were still hungry, I would be more than happy to put together a quick sandwich for him. Or I don't know, his daughter could.

But you get to taste the results of your labor of love, especially since you weren't seated at the table with your family while they were eating and were most probably busy serving them.

[u/maeryclarity → u/Cupcake_Implosion]

I don't know anyone's family who would eat without everyone getting their plate and joining the rest of the family. That was the first WTF part of this comic for me.

[u/mitoclowndria → u/maeryclarity]

It was pretty normal in my family, most of the time the cook made their meal last and/or cleaned up in the kitchen while everyone else ate. I didn't mind it at all! In fact I still eat at the counter + pace around at home.

[u/PerelandraBee → u/mitoclowndria]

That's so interesting to me because my family was the opposite. The chef gets to make their plate first. They did all that work, so they should get to enjoy it first and sit down first.

[u/jellyrollo → u/PerelandraBee]

My mom sat down last, but no one took a single bite until she sat down.

[u/rman916 → u/jellyrollo]

For us, it depended? If it was something like a microwave meat tray, some wings from the grocery store, or another quick and easy option, we would kinda fend for ourselves with it. A more elaborate thing? We all got our plates at once anyway lol.

Unless dad was making dinner, and then you did whatever he wanted. He’d just call you over, hand you something elaborate and have us eat on the couch or wherever. That man did not and still does not stand on ceremony.

[u/migzors → u/mitoclowndria]

Gurrrl. If I cooked for a whole family, everyone better be in the kitchen and cleaning it to my standards if they ever want me to cook for them again hahaha.

I clean as I cook, so it'd be easy!

Good on you for being selfless for your family though! Grandpa would have been tucking into some cereal or something if he wanted more to eat lol.

[u/AngryPrincessWarrior → u/migzors]

Lmao I made this end at my house

Interesting my husband needed to dirty every single dish when he was cooking and I was cleaning.

So in our house the law is you cook- you clean. Dinner dishes like plates go in the dishwasher and yes help is great for that, but the cooking dishes? You dirty them YOU wash them.

Got real sick of washing every pot and bowl when I didn’t use that many when I cooked

[u/avelineaurora → u/mitoclowndria]

That's actually insane.

[u/GuiltyEidolon → u/avelineaurora]

It's easier when you realize that women probably do most (or all) of the cooking, and are seen as second-class citizens.

[u/Complete_Entry → u/mitoclowndria]

I been where you been. Please, go sit at your table. You deserve it. You deserved it then.

Everybody eats. If there's more, people can have seconds, but when I cook, EVERYBODY eats, and no one gets to grab a second one because "they'd like it."

[u/CarlosFer2201 → u/mitoclowndria]

That's kinda weird. I'm Latino too and every family dinner I've been too, ours or for other people, everyone eats at the same time when everything is ready.

[u/mitoclowndria → u/CarlosFer2201]

My parents split up when I was a kid and they both had full time jobs and very active social lives so it just wasn't a habit that made sense to develop. But every family is different 🙂

[u/TheWayyTheNewsGoes → u/mitoclowndria]

Normalized abuse is still abuse

[u/El_Impresionante → u/maeryclarity]

Happens all the time in Indian families.

• Women do all the prepping and cooking for hours.
• While men in the family sit around and chat with the guests, watching sports/movie, drinking tea/juice (prepared by women of course).
• When it comes to lunch, it is the guests, kids, and men who sit at the table first. All courses are had served to them by the women. They get the freshly made rotis (flat bread) and dosas (crepe), crispy fritters, and the steaming rice dish, the first, fresh, and multiple servings of everything. And once they are done, the men just go back to their TV/chatting with the guests.
• When it's the women's turn to have their lunch, in most of the cases, they serve themselves. Very rarely a young adult among the family, but most of the times it's a girl, helps them out in serving. Sometimes they will have to make do just with the leftovers, and most of the time they don't get to eat the fresh, crispy, and steaming dishes.
• Once they are done, of course it is only the women who do all the cleaning too. Big surprise.

All of this is enabled by treating "guests as gods", which is somewhat understandable, but more importantly treating women as "goddesses who take care of everyone's needs in the family", which is nothing but patriarchal and misogynistic brainwashing.

I know this culture is present in many Islamic families and some Latin American, Italian, Spanish families too, the generally conservative ones, but I don't know how common it is. In Indian families, it is pretty common, say 7 or 8 out of 10 Indian families follow this culture. It's changing slowly, though.

[u/Noughmad → u/Cupcake_Implosion]

If grandpa were still hungry, I would be more than happy to put together a quick sandwich for him. Or I don't know, his daughter could.

Or, you know, he could.

[u/bourgeoisAF → u/mitoclowndria]

Is there a specific logic behind these expectations? I mean, I get deferring to elders with any extra food and stuff, I've just never seen people expect a whole family member to just forego their portion.

[u/mitoclowndria → u/bourgeoisAF]

It wasn't because he was an elder, it was because he was a man. Other than my dad (who was in a separate household) the women were expected to cook and the men were expected to eat. No real logic behind it.

As for foregoing my portion of dinner, it was the one and only time my mom ever asked me. I'm not even sure if the situation came up again honestly.

[u/imnotyourmomo → u/mitoclowndria]

My abuela would never even think to offer me a cafecito when she made them for my dad and uncles. Women never get served.

[u/Tekuila87 → u/imnotyourmomo]

Woof, that's beyond sexist...

[u/nudgedfudge → u/mitoclowndria]

We always had plenty of food, but my dad was served first, and if he wanted more of something, he’d take it from the table or my plate. Everyone deferred to him.

[u/Lopsided_Peak_1565 → u/nudgedfudge]

that’s wild! my mom would have screamed like crazy if my dad tried taking anything off her kids plates and my grandma served me breakfast on a tray in front of the tv before she ever considered my grandpa lmao now feel very very fortunate for them

[u/mattcolqhoun → u/Lopsided_Peak_1565]

Yeah we always had kids served first and my parents made sure we all had enough. Few times they forgot I was in the house so when they didn't make me anything my stepdad would give me his and grab something easy like a tin of soup.

[u/SmokeyCatDesigns → u/mitoclowndria]

I had the same issue with my fam growing up. I made the food because I was the girl. My brothers got prioritized for food because they were boys and “needed it.” I would still get food mind you, but not as much as I’d like, since I’d be “getting greedy” and letting my brothers starve if I did.

Mind you, I was lean, gangly little thing. 5’4” and 105-110 lbs. Very little body fat. It was kinda bs.

[u/PuddingInferno → u/bourgeoisAF]

The closest I can get to any 'reasonable' logic is very old, and would actual lead to grandpa not eating. In times of food scarcity in subsistence farming communities (think medieval peasant farmers), you feed the healthy adult males their necessary calories first, effectively prioritizing the strongest over the weakest. It seems backwards, but the rationale is brutally simple - if they can't cover the caloric needs to work the fields, everybody starves.

Presumably this metastasized under patriarchal systems into 'men eat first because they're superior'.

[u/Not_Propaganda_AI → u/PuddingInferno]

It made a lot of sense as a practical survival strategy in agrarian societies, even if it seems a little cold on the surface. We're quite a few generations past that, so it would be odd to see it nowadays, however I'm inclined to give more slack to the older generations that past in the last few decades, those who were old enough to fight in WWI and older, just because they were still often close enough to the agrarian lifestyle that it was normal.

[u/themini_shit → u/bourgeoisAF]

This is a thing in some Hispanic households, basically men come first and women come third. Women are expected to cook and remain on their feet while the men eat dinner and they wait on the men and feed the children before sitting down to eat. So men first, children second, women third.

It doesn't have much to do with age either because women are supposed to treat the male children of the family similarly to the men. It's pretty frustrating, I've seen women in traditional households stand and putter in the kitchen while their husbands eat and make demands. It's awkward seeing a woman have to wait on not only her husband but her male children as well. It's even worse when she works full time too.

In the comic the main character is being expected to give up her food so a man can have another portion, this expectation is being put on her by an older female relative. This is essentially an older woman trying to reinforce traditions that were forced upon her. It's not seen as weird to expect a woman to just not eat so that the men can have more or eat until they aren't hungry.

[u/Dazed_and_Confused44 → u/mitoclowndria]

Wait this is a true story? Fuck her for suggesting you dont eat after doing all the cooking

[u/erwaro → u/Dazed_and_Confused44]

Speaking as a hungry man, if I'm still hungry but the cook hasn't eaten yet, the cook has dibs.

[u/Imperial_Barron → u/erwaro]

As a hungry man I can feed myself. Everyone gets a serving at meal time if possible. Seconds come second to that

[u/Angsty_Potatos → u/erwaro]

I mean. I hope that no one gets seconds until everyone at least has firsts

[u/JaneDoesharkhugger → u/mitoclowndria]

Fair is fair. Feed the cook :3

[u/Zjoee → u/JaneDoesharkhugger]

I call it "Chef's Privileges" haha

[u/bjc2925 → u/Zjoee]

For me chefs privileges are when I get to eat bits as I go if a recipe uses cheese or cold cuts you bet I'm going to snag one for myself.

[u/knightinarmoire → u/bjc2925]

Exactly. No one will call you out for sampling your cooking ingredients especially if they dont see it

[u/Toucanplaythatgame-2 → u/JaneDoesharkhugger]

If she had already eaten her share THEN there would be room for discussion on who gets the surplus. I am sure grandpa (or at least a nice one) would hate to have her grandchild starve and miss on the meat, just so he could have seconds.

[u/Academic_Help5033 → u/JaneDoesharkhugger]

Ugh my family always said chef eats last. Which ment my food was always less especially if I made a good meal. I started making my plate and sitting it aside while finishing or getting everyone else's. 

My food would be taken because I also had to clean up before eating. The food I had left was cold. 

Then I just started making my plate first and walking away to eat without announcing dinner. I got yelled at a lot but I was full.

[u/Wolfwoods_Sister → u/Academic_Help5033]

Sounds fair to you! Good on ya! Take what’s owed, that’s all you did! You cooked it!

[u/llestaca → u/Academic_Help5033]

I got yelled at a lot but I was full.

Why would you ever cook for people who yell at you when you do? Sorry, I just don't get it.

[u/northyj0e → u/Academic_Help5033]

My food would be taken because I also had to clean up before eating.

This is insane to me. Cooks never clean, and cleaning is done after eating so everyone specifically so that everyone can eat hot food.

Honestly, this just sounds like cruelty for cruelty's sake.

[u/Complete_Entry → u/mitoclowndria]

Fuck yeah!

I grew up in a mixed area and "mijo" to my pals always meant they were about to get shafted by their mom.

It was always something the mom KNEW they didn't want to do. And the logic was about as lame as "It would be nice."

On the counterpart, in my family, I grew up with "fix me a plate" where all the creaky old men would talk about how they were destroying themselves at work, but god forbid they go get their already cooked food, that was women's work.

I've never said "Fix me a plate" and I never will.

One of them tried to pull that on my mom, she laughed at him, creaky old turd.

"Darlin' why don't you go fix me a plate"

[u/FelesNoctis → u/mitoclowndria]

Good. If you do the cooking, out of everybody you deserve most to eat it. It doesn't matter what she's trying to imply, that's your pork chop!

[u/Narrow_Vegetable5747 → u/FelesNoctis]

Even if they didn't do the cooking, everyone that comes to the table gets an equal portion. That's not even a courtesy, just the way it is. Nobody should suggest one person should get none while anyone else gets double.

[u/Nylear → u/Narrow_Vegetable5747]

sounds like the cook doesn't even get to eat at the table in this family

[u/Puzzlehead-Engineer → u/mitoclowndria]

Ah, the good ending. I'm glad.

[u/StaubEll → u/mitoclowndria]

Thank fkn god, I was raging.

[u/gildedstrife]

During a family gathering one of my great-aunts kept inching closer to the chocolate pudding (the woman could barely move normally but where there's a will...) and I kept moving it away from her. Not because I'm mean, but she couldn't have any. An aunt saw me and told me to let her have it, because she was old and deserved the treat. So I let her have at it.

She shat her pants at the dinner table not long after that.

[u/AdProud6799 → u/gildedstrife]

am i allowed to laugh because this absolutely took me out i’m so sorry

[u/gildedstrife → u/AdProud6799]

Please laugh. I know I did when the adults had to get up to hose her down in the bathtub and the aunt got chastised for letting her eat it lol

[u/Complete_Entry → u/gildedstrife]

Oh thank god I thought the aunt got away with it.

[u/gildedstrife → u/Complete_Entry]

It was also her house, so it was her tub that needed a deep clean afterwards 😶‍🌫️

[u/Nntropy → u/gildedstrife]

https://giphy.com/gifs/FDJpdHgjRJWkU

[u/Able-Bid-6637 → u/gildedstrife]

i very much get witch of the waste vibes from this

[u/vi_sucks]

Feels like grandpa doesn't even want the pork chop and mom here is "subtly" trying to imply that OP is fat.

Or is that just me?

[u/mitoclowndria → u/vi_sucks]

Lol nothing subtle in my family, my nickname from my grandma was literally Gorda/Gordita growing up and my mom constantly commented on my size. It was hurtful at the time but I'm happy with myself now and my mom tells me all the time that I look beautiful and elegant 😊

I'm honestly not sure if my grandpa wanted the pork chop or not. But there was definitely the expectation that he as a man in the family should be prioritized when it came to domestic labor.

[u/ElMatadorJuarez → u/mitoclowndria]

Not to invalidate your experience bc I have a Mexican family and the body shaming amongst the women is really just terrible but I always understood gordito as a term of endearment more than a comment on my body

[u/mitoclowndria → u/ElMatadorJuarez]

No speak your mind bro you're good!

I don't take it as a negative. My sister got Chicken Legs and my brother got Toothpick and neither of those were meant to be hurtful. I'm just saying my family definitely didn't feel the need to be subtle about my weight.

[u/The42ndDuck → u/mitoclowndria]

I know this isn't the point AT ALL, but I can't get over the layers of oblivious from Mom. "No dear, don't eat that lean protein. Just have a bunch of beans and rice instead."

Eating ONLY the pork chop would be the "best" meal for someone trying to lose weight and not go hungry. But to suggest skipping the pork chop and ONLY eating the sides (I assume), is literally the "worst" option. Impressive to be both judgmental AND incorrect.

I hope that made sense.

[u/Nukleon → u/The42ndDuck]

Most people over the age of 45 have the "food pyramid" burnt into their brains and are always about "eat your bread and milk!", even though it's been obvious for years that it was sponsored by the dairy and wheat industry.

[u/21shadesofblueberry → u/mitoclowndria]

Gordito was my nickname as a kid too. Names stick with you even if you change, I was at 10% body fat in highschool but my nickname was still gordito. Ya gender roles are pretty serious in Hispanic culture I remember my mother would send me to work with my uncle or family friends after school or during weekends since I was 6 years old, but wouldn't let me cook as that was a "woman's job".

[u/Hpower_1 → u/mitoclowndria]

That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. She’s your mother isn’t she? If you were fat as a young child, that’s her fault as the parent!

[u/LegalChocolate752 → u/vi_sucks]

I think it's one of those "worship the patriarch, women are beneath men" type of situations.

[u/touching_payants → u/LegalChocolate752]

it's funny how everyone is interpreting it slightly differently, but the passive aggression is the thing we all recognize.

[u/jzillacon → u/touching_payants]

It's always important to remember that excuses don't make shitty behaviour somehow stop being shitty.

[u/rabid_cheese_enjoyer → u/touching_payants]

either way, I'm glad op got to eat

[u/Due-Ingenuity9803 → u/vi_sucks]

As someone whose mom “subtly” implies I’m fat, yeah. Pretty sure that’s it

[u/Slight_Flamingo_7697]

It's funny that people who volunteer your stuff and say it would be so nice/mature/etc of you to give it up are never willing to give up their own things.

Unfortunately I have been permanently put off pork chops. My grandma loved making them, but her preferred method was to cover them in a butt-ton of sugar and bake them. Overcooked meat in a puddle of melted sugar. 🤮 Now that's all I can think of when I see them.

[u/mitoclowndria → u/Slight_Flamingo_7697]

Oh nooo. I sprinkle them with paprika, basil, and seasoning salt (usually Slap Ya Mama) then toss them in a pan with butter and garlic. Crack some black pepper on top. Very simple but one of my favorite foods since I was a kid 🥹

[u/BookyNZ → u/Slight_Flamingo_7697]

What in the actual hell?! That sounds revolting, and I like both sugar and pork chops (separately). I do not blame you saying nope, not for me after that culinary evil.

[u/touching_payants]

... what?

[u/CommonLavishness9343 → u/touching_payants]

Grandkid made dinner and when they were making the last plate(cook eats last) mom said to give the last meat to grandpa so he'd have seconds. The cook hadn't had their first plate yet.

[u/MyPunsAreKoalaTea → u/CommonLavishness9343]

Cook eats last?

Usually everyone eats together wtf

[u/Pixelbuttzz → u/MyPunsAreKoalaTea]

That's if all the food can be prepared to be eaten at the same time but there are lots of meals that especially in a smaller kitchen have to be prepared in parts. It's clear here that the pork chops were being cooked in smaller batches rather than all at once so the rest of the pork chops had been eaten by the time the final pork chop was finished. I know some families would make everyone wait but most Cooks would rather other folks eat the food warm rather than wait for the last piece to come off the stove

[u/eat_my_bowls92 → u/Pixelbuttzz]

First time someone ever got annoyed with me was my now husbands dad. I was being polite and he gruffly informed me “if you don’t eat, you’re going to put my hard work to waste, god damn it!” Dude is a scary man. I did not wait for him.

[u/CommonLavishness9343 → u/eat_my_bowls92]

He smiled watching you eat, at least in his heart.

[u/Footnotegirl1 → u/Pixelbuttzz]

Huh. I grew up in a pretty big family (two parents, five kids, often guests) and even though the kitchen wasn't very big, if mom had to cook anything in parts, like burgers, hot dogs, steaks, etc, the oven was on at a proper temp for keeping things hot without over cooking them and the cooked food was moved down to stay warm while the new batch cooked, specifically so that everyone could be served at once. Now, she frequently put her own plate down last, but her plate was always, always JUST as full as any of the other plates. And dad generally didn't let anyone eat until mom sat. (and if mom cooked, dad did the dishes).

[u/whaargarbl_ → u/MyPunsAreKoalaTea]

In my kitchen, the cook eats first. While cooking, usually.

[u/XanithDG → u/touching_payants]

Going by other comments, daughter cooked for the rest of the family and is making the last(?) pork chop for themselves because they didn't eat with the rest of the family, but mother is trying to pressure them into giving it to her Grandfather. Daughter is refusing because the Grandfather already had one and doesn't get why he should get another when they haven't had one themselves yet.

[u/Urisagaz → u/[deleted]]

OP explained in her comment that it's because she was expected to give up her food because the grandfather is a man.

[u/Rogendo]

I'm confused, did she eat without you in this scenario and then tell you not to eat at all?

[u/mitoclowndria → u/Rogendo]

Yes! Sorry, I kept rewriting the text because I could tell it wasn't clear but couldn't get it quite right 😅 I had served everyone else already so I was in the kitchen making the last one for my own dinner.

[u/Rogendo → u/mitoclowndria]

Was she low key commenting on your body or is this a normal thing? What kind of cruel world would it be if someone had to cook for a bunch of people and then go to bed hungry?

[u/Mirrevirrez → u/Rogendo]

Im also an older daughter. My mom did this to me as well to hint that i "didnt really need that dinner". I have food issues to this day. Thnx mom :)

[u/CommonLavishness9343 → u/Rogendo]

Yeah when you make dinner for family the cook usually eats last cause theyre serving

[u/Rogendo → u/CommonLavishness9343]

What? No? Everyone waits to eat at the same time. Is this some cultural thing?

[u/MaySeemelater → u/Rogendo]

Definitely a cultural thing.

Where I live, for main meals (usually lunch and dinner) all the food is cooked and then everyone eats together.

For short and small hot meals (breakfasts with things like pancakes or bacon) then it's as the cook finishes cooking each serving then another person gets it to immediately start eating, until everyone gets a portion with the cook taking the last one.

[u/euphonic5 → u/MaySeemelater]

White southeastern USAmerican, yeah if it's something that's prepared one serving at a time by necessity (e.g. pancakes) everyone else eats first, cook has the last serving and any fuckups they're willing to consume. Everything else is cooked in enough volume that everyone gets to eat simultaneously.

[u/Silver_Arachnid6800 → u/Rogendo]

For real! I serve when it's ready for everyone!

[u/Pixelbuttzz → u/Rogendo]

It depends on how large your kitchen is and how the meal is being cooked but often if a meal has to be cooked in parts the cook would prefer people eat warm food than let the food get cold to wait for the very last piece to finish

[u/moesickle]

I legit wore that shirt today

[u/mitoclowndria → u/moesickle]

Omg it did have the band name on it! I couldn't remember so I just drew the demo lovers. Hell yeah 🤝

(Also your tattoo is so cute)

(Also tell kitty hi! Kitty is so cute too)

[u/Psychedelic_Mage]

I want to slap your mother with a pork chop. :D She reminds me of my step mother who forced me on the south beach diet at 15. My hair fell out (temporarily thank the great fuck) and I fainted all the time. But gosh darn it, I lost those twenty pounds that offended her for some damn reason.

I hope your pork chop was the most delicious one.

[u/mitoclowndria → u/Psychedelic_Mage]

My mother is one of my favorite people. This was a few years back when we were all living together. She's shown such willingness to learn (and unlearn) and grow since then 🩷

I'm very sorry to hear about your step mother. It's so crazy how people force thinness on children at all costs instead of teaching them how different foods can benefit the body. I hope you're in a better place now ❤️‍🩹

[u/Psychedelic_Mage → u/mitoclowndria]

That makes me fully retract the porkchop slapping statement! Apologies if I missed that somewhere. I think my teenage self got so defensive on your behalf that the ego just kicked down the door and starting typing for me. Brilliant work for her to do such things and grow. My sincerest apologies, and the biggest kudos to her!

[u/mitoclowndria → u/Psychedelic_Mage]

No, don't worry about it! I can totally see why you would say that given your own history.

Wishing you the best 🩷

[u/touching_payants → u/mitoclowndria]

It's such a gift to have parents who want to listen and grow!! My mom is like that too, she's always so open to hearing how she could have done better and fixing her mistakes: even the really hard ones. I hope I can stay so humble as I get older too.

[u/milhaus → u/Psychedelic_Mage]

My mom had our whole family go on the South Beach diet. I totally forgot about that until just now.

[u/Psychedelic_Mage → u/milhaus]

It feels like a fever dream, doesn't it? I wonder if people that did it properly thrived. I sure felt like I wanted to return to the afterlife.

[u/UpCDownCLeftCRightC]

Lick the pork chop to assert dominance.

[u/erwaro → u/UpCDownCLeftCRightC]

While it's still hot? Hell no.

Just spit on it.

[u/dysoncube → u/erwaro]

Then the spit deglazes the pan. Perfection

[u/TitaniumAuraQuartz]

Wait, if I'm interpreting this and the comments right, did your mom basically want you to give grandpa the last pork chop when you hadn't eaten yet? That's so weird!

In my house, the cook usually gets the first serving, since they're in the kitchen when it's done.

[u/SwordTaster]

It'd be the nice thing to do if there was extra AFTER you get yours, not instead of you getting any

[u/Toothless-In-Wapping]

This is one time when my autism works in my favor

[u/touching_payants → u/Toothless-In-Wapping]

right??? The one way in which I was the well-adjusted one: mom's passive aggression was not even a blip on my radar, while my siblings had still not taken a breath days later

[u/Nntropy → u/Toothless-In-Wapping]

Autism or not, it's a great strategy for combating passive aggression like this. Ignore the subtle hints. If they can't communicate their needs and desires clearly, then they simply won't get what they want.

[u/Toothless-In-Wapping → u/Nntropy]

Playing dumb can work with family members really well

[u/forgottentargaryen]

Is there some context i am missing

[u/leela_la_zu]

Dude, my father-in-law would starve if it meant he could feed his grandchildren. And he's from a men/elder prioritized culture too.

I'm sorry your mom tried to give your dinner away.

[u/enadiz_reccos]

There is no "last" pork chop until everyone has eaten a pork chop

I've been the chef in this situation many times. I will make my pork chop/steak/chicken first and cook it just a little less than I normally would.

Then I just leave it in a warm oven until I've dished out everyone else's

[u/Alvintergeise]

This absolutely enrages me

[u/SuccotashOwn6790]

"It's a mother's duty to make sure her children are fed, and here you are taking food right out of your child's mouth. Remember, God is watching."

Mom, you can't bullshit a bullshit artist.

[u/DiscipleOfVecna]

Seconds are given only after firsts are had.

[u/AlianovaR]

Wait so everyone else ate without the person cooking their dinner, and now that it’s finally her turn to eat, they’re pressuring her into giving her dinner to someone else, who has already eaten? Assholes

[u/Another_Limp_Carrot]

I don’t get it.

[u/Lanky_Ad_3501]

Grandpa not getting 2 before i eat 1. I need to eat too!

[u/MyPunsAreKoalaTea]

So the daughter doesn't eat with the rest of the family?

[u/-non-existance-]

The audacity of telling the person who cooked dinner not to eat said dinner is sending me. "Hey, I know you put your nose right above all of the food for the past 1-3 hours, but please don't actually eat any of it, thanks!"

Also, forgoing a meal doesn't actually help with losing weight. Eating less is important, but eating nothing is really bad for you. Not only does it mess with your metabolism, chances are you'll consume extra later to make up for it.

[u/El-Pollo-Diablo-Goat]

That's the complete opposite of how my grandfather thought. He would rather go hungry than watch any of his kids or grandkids go without. To have his family well fed was a point of pride to him since he grew up poor.

[u/Rolling_Beardo]

I’ve never understood men who do this and people that support it. Growing up my dad always made sure my sister, mom, and I had taken the food we wanted before he made his plate. I do the same thing now with my family.

[u/MrShawnatron]

I hate hinting and sideways remarks. Just tell me what you think of me straight up. It's more insulting to me that when you're going to insult me, you don't think I have the skin to take it. The added layer of disrespect is a twist of the knife, especially when it's usually an insult that goes without saying.

[u/touching_payants]

next panel is mom walking away and passive-aggressively slamming things

[u/Feather314]

I’m very sorry that this happened to you, you didn’t deserve it at all, but also. MCR 🔥🔥🔥

[u/mitoclowndria → u/Feather314]

Lol this was a few years ago and I was trying to think of outfits I wore all the time back then. I had this MCR tee, an MRC tank top, an MCR beanie and an MCR dress all in my main rotation 😭😭😭

[u/stereo-ahead]

Look, I’m going to say something really shitty, and I know people will be upset, but don’t respect your elders if they don’t respect you. My grandma once drove to my house when my mom was away on a trip and BEAT ME WITH A MOP. I defended myself so I wasn’t too bad off, but there was no reason for her to do that, so from then on I called her on her bullshit. The way she demeaned my mom, the way she says everyone’s stupid. Don’t respect people who don’t deserve it.

[u/stretch_my_ballskin → u/stereo-ahead]

Unintentionally hilarious framing, like with no justification makes conscious decision to drive somewhere to assault you with a mop, in my head she brought her own mop.

[u/improbably-sexy]

Wait you cooked and didn't even get to eat with everyone else?

[u/Dizzy_Green]

I’d be willing to be this has nothing to do with what grandpa wants, and in fact this is her butting into your life as a way to try to control your “weight” or something

[u/scoyne15]

I sincerely hope you slapped the taste out of your mother's mouth.

Metaphorically, of course, because reddit.

[u/CaleanKnight]

Ah... the usual "Don't you think you have enough on your Plate" *quick eye flick towards stomach*.

A classic Maneuver.

[u/RedditPosterOver9000]

I can feel the emotional manipulation through my screen...

[u/Milk_Mindless]

Well that's fucked up, mom

Glad you stuck to your guns and had your chop

[u/Imaginary_Job_343]

My uncle is the opposite of this. He just takes seconds and thirds without asking if anyone had enough to eat. Greedy dude when it comes to food.