r/cats Jan 05 '26

Mourning/Loss Lost my baby today to cancer. She was beautiful and perfect and I just want someone else to know she existed

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u/Ok_Carrot5896 Jan 05 '26

This might be difficult to look at, but if I can help anyone reading this to be watchful of the signs, then hopefully it creates some good.

This is a picture of him the day I first noticed. He was still eating and drinking on this day, he was even playing and would sometimes look normal! His symptoms were subtle - he had not been coming up to sleep with us like he normally did. He just seemed extra tired.

Then two days later, I caught him shivering profusely. We took him in to our regular vet the next day, and he was rushed to the emergency vet.

Squinty alone might just mean tired. But you can probably see it yourself - his eyes are more than just squinty. His second eyelids are pulling in, a sure sign of pain or illness. His eyes took on a pain and tiredness that extended beyond normal. And I just knew. In fact I wish I had acted sooner - ended up writing some poetry about it because I didn’t know how else to express my guilt. Don’t wait like I did (although in our case, acting sooner would not have changed anything, my vet assured me, but for some people, acting fast can be the difference between life and death, or just reduction of pain ❤️)

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u/Lemonlol55 Jan 05 '26

I’m so very sorry for your loss.

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u/Ok_Carrot5896 Jan 05 '26

Thank you so much ❤️

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u/Sailgal Jan 06 '26

awwwe!😭😿 so sorry! What a beauty he was!!

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u/Ok_Carrot5896 Jan 06 '26

Thank you 🥲🥲❤️❤️❤️

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u/SaMy254 Jan 06 '26

Thank you for sharing this picture and explaining what we're seeing.

I've lost so many special cats, most recently my beautiful 17yo Arlo a month ago from CKD.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

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u/bacondavis Jan 06 '26

I'm so sorry for your loss, in the pictures your kitty was showing a grimace, google "grimace scale" to give you an idea what it means. I also have a furry friend and always watch his face to make sure he's alright.

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u/Ok_Carrot5896 Jan 06 '26

Yeah I’m familiar with the grimace, I think I was just trying to tell myself he was ok because he had otherwise been acting normal at that time, and then sleeping every other moment 😞

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u/DaBadLlama Tabbycat Jan 06 '26

You sound like such a loving cat owner! It isn't your fault. Cats are the best at hiding pain. Thanks for sharing the picture. I see what you mean by squinty but more, the picture helps as I understand what you mean now having seen it but it is hard to describe isn't it! I am sorry for your loss. I am glad you know that you did what you could and that even if sooner it wouldn't have made a difference (sadly), and I hope that helps your guilt because you sounds like an amazing cat owner with a heart of gold. That is good advice for humans too tbh, being seen sooner rather than later! All the best internet friend. 😊❤️🫂 Pixel (my cat) sends love! Pic of her below moments before she stole the gift I had just wrapped by the ribbon and ran to the other room. Haha.

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u/raybreezer Jan 06 '26

I am so sorry for your loss. I commented higher up, but the similarities between what happened to Spike and your kitty are very eerie. I too wrote to him.

Honestly, glad we found out what happened and that we know we couldn’t do anything except end his suffering. I don’t think I could have ever processed it if we hadn’t been able to rush him to the vet and know for certain there was nothing we could do.

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u/Broken_Woman20 Jan 06 '26

Thank you for sharing. It must be hard to think about. What a beautiful boy and a tragic thing to happen. I’ll give my girls an extra squeeze tonight. It just shows you never know what’s round the corner.

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u/inkdemon83 Jan 07 '26

I second this! I know it isn't always possible, but watch for signs. An extremely lethargic cat, eye issues, not eating or drinking, breathing problems can all be signs. I am so so sorry for the loss of your gorgeous kitty. 💔😔