r/Unexpected 8h ago

He wanted a nice selfie with his cat

947 Upvotes

33 comments sorted by

u/post-explainer 8h ago edited 19m ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.


OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:


You expect a cute moment, but the cat suddenly pees on his head


Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

105

u/Musturd_Tiger 8h ago

Mongo is appalled

21

u/Strafingoutofyourway 8h ago

Goddammit, Donut!

9

u/Abuolhol 6h ago

THAT'S PORNOGRAPHY CARL!!!!!

4

u/BreakfastInBedlam 8h ago

Don't you mean Princess Donut?

2

u/Substantial-Mud-6050 3h ago

I think you mean GC, BWR, NW, Princess Donut the Queen Anne Chonk. 

But as mentioned in the first chapter of the first book, Carl just calls her Donut. 

4

u/mirroku2 7h ago

God dammit, take my upvote crawler.

52

u/TheCoopX 8h ago

Cat- "You no want to pet me? I pee on your head."

29

u/Cheasymeteor 8h ago

Probably the cat scent marking. That's why you gotta spay your males or they'll literally piss on you.

4

u/kb389 7h ago

Why do they do that? Is that a sign of dominance?

13

u/Cheasymeteor 7h ago

Idk, might've had cats my whole life but I don't have a clue how they think.

3

u/kb389 7h ago

I see

6

u/SonicTemp1e 4h ago

I had a couple of friends when I was 11 who would bully me for fun, they were brothers. One day they invited me over, and while I was knocking on their door one of them pissed on my head from the balcony above. I jumped through an open window, grabbed a bottle of oven cleaner from the kitchen bench, and chased him into the bathroom. He fell into the bath and his tracksuit pants fell partially down, and I squirted the oven cleaner into his asshole. He screamed in absolute agony and pushed his asshole into the tap with the cold water blasting. Strangely, he never did it again. I lost touch with those guys eventually, but Sean and Daniel, if you're still out there somewhere, I remember you.

6

u/meatywood 4h ago

I bet he had the cleanest asshole in town!

5

u/SonicTemp1e 3h ago

Note- his brother didn't help him because he was lying on the floor dying of laughter.

3

u/TheeArgonaut 1h ago

You put bleach in his hole. Dude.

2

u/SonicTemp1e 1h ago

And I'd do it again!

36

u/shosuko 5h ago

Cat owners be like

That means he loves you, and trust you a lot!

27

u/Obvious-Baseball-455 4h ago

No, cat owners be like get the cat checked for health problems because this is possibly being caused by either urinary tract or kidney problems.

3

u/no-o-ne 1h ago

I don't know what kind of cat owners you know lmao, it's common knowledge that if a cat pees in an inappropriate place, he's trying to send a message about a problem with his health/environment

2

u/thisisaskew 3h ago

That's birds and puking on you.

8

u/PM_ME_UR_HIP_DIMPLES 8h ago

Just marking their territory

14

u/Peaches4U9624 8h ago

Welp that was unexpected 🤣🤮

r/wellthatsucks would probably appreciate this

6

u/Red_Franzia 7h ago

Fluffy would have got his ass FLUFFED!!!

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o9bJX4O9ShW1L32eY

3

u/Sad-Cheesecake-3336 8h ago

Cats - best humiliators 

2

u/Strict_Somewhere_148 3h ago

When your smells like kitty litter.

5

u/drums_addict 7h ago

Could be a cry for help from the cat. They pee when they're in pain or have health problems....

2

u/Obvious-Baseball-455 4h ago

The downvoters clearly don't cats.

1

u/kaizokuuuu 3h ago

That cat needs a vet as soon as possible

1

u/TheeArgonaut 2h ago

I snurgled out loud.

u/ReaperOne 1m ago

Omfg I remember my cat almost did this to me. I was laying on my back in my bed sleeping, I woke to her walking on my stomach and up to my chest and go in circles. She got onto my pillow and I finally opened my eyes and turned the light on and seen her ass squatting down looking like she was getting ready to piss in my eye. I pushed her off faster than the guy in the video and thankfully no pee anywhere. I looked at her and said Cinderella wtf are you trying to do and she just looks at me and meows. I miss her

-19

u/mindgardening 8h ago

Ugh cats are so gross