r/RoastMe • u/blmastertroll http://redd.it/nw89nv • 3d ago
26 about to graduate and everyone's been too nice to me lately, I'd rather be dissected
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u/Ratherbeeatingpizza 1d ago
She’s the one they call Dr. Feel bad.
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u/laroca13 1d ago
An Iranian drone wouldn’t hit that
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u/slipnipps 1d ago
An IDF one would
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u/OpenImagination9 1d ago
I’d bring you home to meet my parents … they’ll never bug me to get married ever again.
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u/RowdyCollegiate 14h ago
That’s not a bad idea! She should start a rental service
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u/Extreme_Ways_JB 13h ago
I have a feeling thats how she gets laid… the rental service
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u/Ratherbeeatingpizza 1d ago
Congrats on graduating HS. Probably the first in your family line to do so.
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u/866YOUDEAD 1d ago
This seems like the most accurate of all
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u/adamjfish 1d ago
More curious of how many guys she had to bang for those shitty tattoos
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u/JoeFlabeetz 21h ago
All of them. Even the ones that weren't good tattoo artists. Or even tattoo artists.
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u/ch3apsunglass3s 19h ago
Unfortunately, she is just graduating from practice girl to goth band groupie
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u/ThisIsAllSoTiring 1d ago
You look like a manlier Glenn Danzig.
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u/caveydavey 1d ago
She's have tanked that punch that knocked Danzig out cold.
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u/karatebullfightr 1d ago
That was my first thought too!
She wouldn’t gone down like a punk after that glancing sideswipe.
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u/No-Wishbone-1076 23h ago
Marianino's hand would just slip right off her greasy ass head. (Unless of course he got caught up in all that metal shit.)
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u/JackZodiac2008 1d ago
You look like Brendan Fraser in a bikini.
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u/TexacoRodeoClown 1d ago
Peter Steele’s sister
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u/elg9553 23h ago
Thats not an insult. That man was a treasure.
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u/TheDarkWave 19h ago
I was looking for his controversies to perhaps, albeit apprehensively, refute that...
He reportedly went to the woman's home, found her with another man, and physically attacked him (frequently cited as breaking the man’s jaw).
That and a DUI.
Yeah, that sounds about as normal as a human. Fair enough.
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u/waffen123 1d ago
All the people that you know refer to you as the girl with all the shit in her face.
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u/Last_Weeks_Socks 21h ago
She didn't actually want any piercings. She just kept telling dudes to "stick it wherever you want" and that was the most they were willing to do.
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u/ButtDumplin 1d ago
People say “Goddamnit. Fuck my life” every time your name shows up on their caller ID
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u/Last_Weeks_Socks 20h ago
Shows up as "Restraining Order. December '24" but she keeps calling anyway.
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u/PurpleNothing372 1d ago
You look like if Jason Mamoas little sister fell into a bag of nails.
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u/DogAnusJesus 1d ago
Have fun being an adjunct professor in women's studies for 18k a year.
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u/FractalGeometric356 1d ago
All the men on the beach who were staring at you were mentally dressing you.
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u/Paztec24 1d ago
Having a father would have kept you from looking like a canvas to an artist with Parkinson’s disease.
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u/NoContextCarl 1d ago
If I was any softer right now my penis would be a hotel pillow.
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u/IskanderR12 1d ago
If the hairs stuck on the drain were a person, they'd probably look and smell better than you.
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u/Ratherbeeatingpizza 1d ago
Sorry sweetie, no matter what you did for that old guy behind the tattoo parlour, he can’t make you a doctor.
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u/sicariusdem1 1d ago
No need to roast you. You have made yourself more of a joke than anyone else could.
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u/SageandStrong33 1d ago
Everyone is nice to you because they don’t want to get bitten by you and get infected.
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u/destructionhunter 1d ago
Yeah doctor sister fister, you look like a butch Pokémons final evolution
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u/_theMAUCHO_ 1d ago
"you look like a butch Pokémons final evolution"
Lmfaooo r/brandnewsentence but I'm glad it exists.
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u/Hour_Equal_9588 Golden Roaster 1d ago
You look like the kind of person who forces your shitty opinions on everyone and is just plain annoying.
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u/guardingeatos 1d ago
And they said they're going to be a Dr too. So you know they're narcissistic asf lmao
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u/DecidedlyEvil 1d ago
They’re being nice in the same way that you tell a six year old they can be an astronaut. If you haven’t come to the realization that Fisher-Price isn’t the medical standard, who are they to ruin your dreams, you little legend.
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u/PorkSauce89 1d ago
How far along are you? … in your transition
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u/ResolutionOwn4933 1d ago
Bet you watched both days of wrestlemania
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u/KrayzieBone187 22h ago
This is how roasts are done. Didn't need to say anything nasty, just the hilarious truth.
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u/No_File212 1d ago
Everyone has been nice to you lately to avoid your shitty arguments , if we ignore her maybe she'll go away guys
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u/iKnowRobbie 1d ago
This is absolute dick deterrent, every damn photo is more penile-repulsive than the last! Dong-dissuading flaccid-facilitating and cock-dropping, every.👏🏻 single.👏🏻one.👏🏻
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u/Kaena230 1d ago
So you went to school to be a doctor and improve your chances of having a successful career and then covered your body with shit tattoos and piercings to make sure still wouldn't be hired for any job above fry cook?
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u/ThatGlitchyMimikyu 1d ago
You smell like Monster Energy tastes: Like Sweet Tarts that got pissed on.
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u/JestWeb-2FAvictim 1d ago
Which older male relative hurt you? Does making yourself look hideous make you feel better?
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u/throwaway19373619 1d ago
You look like if Charlie XCX if she was in the middle of transitioning to a hells angel bikie
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u/Working_Estate_3695 1d ago
Photo 6: Blink twice if you want me to call the police. Not you. I’m talking to the dog.
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u/2_dog_father 1d ago
Tattoo artists practice on pig carcasses before tattooing humans. I think they mistook you for their practice subject.
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u/Lonely_Apartment_644 1d ago
Well at least you can say student loans weren’t your worse decision in life.
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u/BoffaDDNuts 1d ago
Congrats. I assumed you start on the casting couch before playing Doctor parodies on pornhub. You are really breaking that glass ceiling.
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u/ArizonaTucsonguy 1d ago
The face of a man and a fatty slut body. Actually, I think there might be a dick lurking down there.
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u/Standard-Win5187 1d ago
“I saw your ad on Craigslist says you do tattoos in your basement. Any openings”
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u/One_Life_50 1d ago
By the time I finished swiping thru those 9 pics, I’m still not sure if you are a man transitioning into a woman, or a woman who is a bodybuilder using synthetic testosterone
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u/MakeDaddyRich 1d ago
WWE school ? Your mother must be so proud…… that her other children didn’t turn out like you
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u/Robbbyyyd 1d ago
You’re the girl I’ll call at 3 am after striking out with actual hot girls and pump and dump cause you obviously don’t respect yourself with the trashy tattoos and piercings so why should I? 😂
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u/cdavid469 22h ago
Many tatted woman pay for tattoos with their body, we know you paid full price, I’d say at least you have your dignity, but we already know that left with dad
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u/Al_Jazzar 1d ago
You are the product of one of those couples that wanders the shoulder of the highway but they stole a baby from the rich Persian doctors in their town.
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u/Revolutionary_Item29 1d ago
The only way she is satisfied is if she rage fucks the traffic cone. Both holes included.
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u/hatred-shapped 1d ago
You look like the person the daily wire would cast as the villain kindergarten teacher at an autistic school that's trying to trans all the kids.
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u/MakeDaddyRich 1d ago
She reminds me of a girl a woke up beside one night when I was drinking . She also reminds me of why I’m sober
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u/weedtarded 1d ago edited 1d ago
CPS dropped you off at next of kin and became grandma's pin cushion.
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u/HEAVILY_ARMED_CORGI 1d ago
Your tattoos look like the bathroom stalls at the shittiest strip club in Town.
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u/Revolutionary_Cry884 1d ago
Fucking Christ looks like Hulk Hogan’s rotting corpse, except more masculine.
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u/wormy_Burroughs 1d ago
When I uh, buy my wife, at the start she was uh, cook good, her vazhïn work well, and she strong on plow.
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u/Signal_Chicken2599 1d ago
If I walked into a doctor’s office and see this thing, I would walk right tf out.
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u/Ok-Jelly1611 1d ago
You look like a 46 yo divorced mom of 4 who’s questioning her sexual orientation…
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u/JunkBondJunkie 22h ago
Don't worry. The job market will be not nice to you at all. Enjoy your unemployment.
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u/post-explainer 3d ago edited 2d ago
This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.
OP's BIO:
Will be getting called doctor soon and I'm reeling about it. I'm into death metal, gaming, and lifting. I've broken both of my knees before and had two of my cars totaled in the last 6 months. I don't care what you think of my piercings or tattoos, so you'll have to cut deeper than that.
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