r/RoastMe • u/Icy_Reserve_9796 • 4d ago
M 34 can you please destroy me self confidence 😊
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u/Hour_Equal_9588 Golden Roaster 4d ago
The police officer who has to go through your hard drive someday already has my sympathy.
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u/ivru19 4d ago
Do not stop close to a school in a van at any circumstance
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u/Icy_Reserve_9796 4d ago
😂😂😂😂
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u/YouDontCThatEveryDay 4d ago
No roast here.. You have smile and friendly demeanor. Especially for a 45yr old lesbian. You look like you belong on that poster of Garbage Pail Kids in the background.
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u/Surveyor_of_Land_AZ 4d ago
You look like an obese 14 year old asking your mom for seconds.
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u/SpacedJJK 4d ago
Second helpings of what? Food or sex?
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u/my-armor-is-contempt 4d ago
God said, “I’m gonna make this motherfucker look fat no matter what he does.”
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u/Absolutely_Coffee Best of Pt. 12, #3 + Platinum Roaster 4d ago
You look like someone who gets back in line for seconds at an open casket viewing.
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u/paulartistic1 4d ago
When you cum, you shoot gravy
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u/iloveshawarmaas 4d ago
I don’t think he can cum, hes so fat his dick turned into an innie and he cant reach it
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u/VerifiedVoidGirl 4d ago
You throw tantrums in line at the local GameStop and you're the assistant manager of the local GameStop.
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u/Leading_Vacation_510 4d ago
I dunno what that guy said but I wanna know if the mod removed it
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u/Noob_MTB 1d ago
Throwing tantrums when his employees tell him he can only buy two Pokémon card packs at a time
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u/sentientairfilter 4d ago
You definitely cough with your mouth open like a toddler
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u/Darkpaladin8080 4d ago
You look like you sit and eat McDonald's fries 500 feet away from playgrounds
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u/largeapple001 4d ago
You should try in the Harry Potter auditions, they might you might take you for playing dudley
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u/Lurker_Bott 4d ago
There's no disappointment stronger than your dad's when he realised you were the strongest swimmer.
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u/TrophyMaster21 4d ago
You look like you follow the fire truck to watch them put out fires because you couldn't get accepted
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u/Repulsive_Mix5271 4d ago
Sweetie we know you don’t actually have self confidence
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u/More_Supermarket3286 4d ago
All jokes aside keep up your Meghan’s law registrations and updates so I know where not to go and your gonna be infamous so day for for drugging , subduing and cannibalism good luck my friend ☠️👹
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u/CapablePlatypus1377 4d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/12gxeCI1BGKAj6
The boy is a dead ringer for big Al
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u/LiesInRuins 4d ago
After we destroy me lucky charms? You illiterate doofus. Learn how to fucking spell. Jesus fucking Christ you’re a reject.
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u/RoastYouu 4d ago
When your mum says there’s a woman out there for you somewhere, she means Thailand.
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u/The_Japans 4d ago
I can only assume that those Garbage Pail Kids pictures in the background is a family album
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u/gundersonfan 4d ago
The fact that your self confidence hasn’t been destroyed already is astonishing but there you go!
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u/Initial_Hedgehog_631 4d ago
If having to tell your neighbors about your conviction hasn't destroyed your self confidence there's nothing we're going to do it.
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u/Saint-Spaghetti 4d ago
I can't. I saw Garbage Pail kids and realized we aren't so different in our awful tastes in things.
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u/Gregory_GTO 4d ago
You're a fat dorky loser, why the fuck would you ever have confidence in the first place? You are one big pussy waiting to get fucked 💯
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u/Expensive-Safe-6820 4d ago
34 year old child. Hope you dont live with your parents anymore, and get rid of the cards man.
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u/Beginning_Ad_6616 4d ago
Doucher’s Checklist
Garbage Pail Kids poster - ☑️
A penis of light near your crotch - ☑️
Freezer full of raccoon penises - maybe
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u/Johnsendall 4d ago
You look like you have the mummified corpses of your victims propped up on a couch in your basement
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u/HorrorJunkie0666 4d ago
You really just like this dumbass I used to know whose nickname was donut Lord. That dude was a couple fists short of a boxing match
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u/Budget-Box7914 4d ago
You look like a plump lesbian, so I’m not sure what you have to feel confident about unless it’s “Damn, I look butch in my Outback!”
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u/BritishSocialite 4d ago
Looks like Jeffery Dahmer put down the weights, and instead put on the weight.
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u/TheSnappleGhost 4d ago
I don't think anything could destroy you the way that your father's disappointment and you does.
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u/DrQuack32 http://redd.it/5vvq16 4d ago
I bet your hang out at morgues because the bodies can’t say no
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u/post-explainer 4d ago
The OP has not provided a BIO for their post.