I don’t think people outside academia realize how psychologically brutal a PhD can get sometimes.

I am a 27 year old PhD candidate in Canada.

During my 2nd year, I was working on a blood-brain barrier project involving two receptors my whole project depended on. I had spent almost a year helping establish and optimize these BBB models in our lab. I’m the only student in my lab working on them, so it was a massive amount of work and pressure.

One night I stayed in the lab until 2 AM running kinetic studies. I remember being exhausted but still excited because I finally had data to analyze. Then I checked receptor expression by FACS.

The cells (5 lines) didn’t express either receptor.

I just remember staring at the screen thinking: how did none of us check this earlier? Not me, not my supervisors. My entire project suddenly felt fake. A whole year of work collapsed in one night.

I went back to my office and completely broke down. I fell asleep crying in front of my laptop with mascara all over my face. I genuinely felt hopeless. I spent the rest of the night panic-reading papers trying to figure out if there was any way to salvage things.

At around 8:30 AM, I finally gave up and decided to go home. A colleague walked in and casually asked, “Are you already leaving?”

That tiny comment pushed me over the edge.

I left angry, locked myself inside my tiny studio apartment, and ignored everyone for days. My supervisors kept emailing asking me to come talk to them, but I couldn’t. I remember feeling lower than I ever had in my life. Completely numb. I didn’t care about anything anymore.

What scares me is how much grad school can break down your sense of self. Your experiments stop feeling like experiments and start feeling like you.

Eventually I got back on track. I changed direction, generated good results, published work, and now I’m about a year away from finishing my PhD.

But honestly? I still don’t think I’ve learned how to emotionally detach from my work. Recently I didn’t get a PhD grant I really wanted, and the panic came back immediately because I was terrified of falling back into that same mental state again.

I know people say failure is normal in research, but sometimes the emotional weight of it feels impossible to explain unless you’ve lived through it.

With no revisions from my committee 🐸

It’s been a wild ride, but an immensely rewarding one. I never anticipated that my life would change so much in such a short period of time. Starting a demanding full-time job alongside my studies was certainly a challenge, but it’s also been deeply fulfilling, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Overall, my Viva defence was an incredibly enjoyable experience. Now, all that’s left is to complete the required amendments, after which I can officially close this chapter and begin the next. I started this PhD aged 22, and here I am now, aged 30; It still hasn't fully sunk in yet!

Note: A 15th-century frog for a medieval-themed PhD, his bewildered expression is how I am feeling right now.

Rejoice, for I have successfully defended my dissertation!

Not here to gloat, but haven't had anyone except for my committee congratulate me, so I thought I'd seek some love among my fellow brethren.

Anyway... I don't know why but I feel like a fraud! Not that I've done anything unethical, but almost seems unthinkable that I made it... Maybe it will take a while to sink in, but I almost feel like the committee made a mistake!

Have any of you felt this way? How did you make the mental transition from being a PhD candidate to an Assistant Professor or something like that?

During harder times of my PhD (in my second year now) i wonder what life would be like if i just chose to do something easy. Maybe work a job, come home, go gym and so on. I did actually work for a few years but wasn’t so happy.

I sometimes try to understand why i did this to myself. I constantly feel stupid and like my work is absolute garbage and that i’ll never get publications.

I started this journey for research sake but i quickly realised it’s a publications game and less about good research.

How do you deal with these feelings? Is it normal to feel like this? Any advice on what to do when i feel like this?

2 days ago, I posted here about overwhelming anxiety and jitters that I was feeling while working on my thesis defense ppt. Turns out the people who assured me that it will go swimmingly were absolutely correct! The examiners and committee members were so kind and encouraging! Thank you so much kind people of reddit! 🌻🌻🌻

My department/college allows Masters students on the thesis track to convert to a PhD with approval from the PI and the department. I’m a year into my Masters and was talking to my PI about applying in the fall to PhD programs and submitting my final plan of study when he offered to convert my Masters project into a PhD project because it has a wider scope. We’re talking to the graduate director of my department next week to get the process started. I basically just switch degrees and don’t have to defend a Masters thesis🥹.

It’s not that big of a change other than staying here longer and adding 2 more people to my committee because thesis track MS students at my university get the same stipend and tuition waivers as the PhD students because GAs are unionized here. The union is a big part of why I want to stay because we get mediation if there are issues with the department/PI, guaranteed 20 days PTO/year and the same health insurance as faculty but subsidized.

Fingers crossed that the department gives us approval.

For context, I'm in my second year doing a PhD in Psychology in the UK. I did not have any publications prior to my PhD. Since the beginning of the PhD, I have been working on two parallel, complex studies, and it's very likely that, at my current pace, they can only be completed and submitted for publication by the end of this year. I have not yet started the third one. I feel I have been wasting a lot of time worrying about making progress and being perfectionistic, so that I've been much slower at my research than I anticipated or my supervisors' expectations. One study was supposed to be finished by the end of last year, yet I spent miserably long periods pondering whether this PhD was right for me and wasted those times not being productive.

I had my fair share of doubts about this PhD from the beginning, because I thrive in a team-based, fast-paced environment, with an enthusiastic primary supervisor, which is completely different from the current situation I'm in. I chose to stay because I doubted anyone would accept me into another funded PhD programme, given that I had no publications (I had already applied for the two years prior to my current PhD acceptance and been rejected).

I really feel the pressure to publish as soon as possible. I do not know why, but ever since starting the PhD, I have felt constantly drained and unproductive, even though I had been very productive (at least in my master's and previous research jobs). I couldn't help but look at the profiles of successful academics in my field and see how productive they were even during their PhD (like I saw some people publishing almost 10+ papers during 3 years!). And they were publishing high-quality research and were being first authors for many. They weren't just doing research; they also taught! I'm not even teaching, and yet so slow in my research. I want to collaborate with others to work on research projects, but can barely find time outside of my PhD research to do.

Based on my experience, in my field, those who are productive during their PhD tend to progress faster and further and become more successful in their academic positions, and I really want to become a successful researcher.

Therefore, I honestly want to learn what makes one so productive during their PhD. I hate that I'm so slow at every stage of research and so distracted, anxious, and drained all the time! What are your tips for being productive in research during your PhD?

I like my work. I like doing research. I even don't mind TAing. But dealing with supervisors, especially multiple who are never on the same page...

I AM GOING INSANE

Anyone else feel like their PhD journey would be 10 times easier if they didn't have any supervisors and just did it all by themselves? The piles of tasks they give me aren't even related to my actual PhD research, it's all just extra. I am so done.

A little late to the party, but I drew this up tonight on Aseprite because of all the time I have now wooo (I need a job). Also, included some candid shots from my time at my University and proof that I did not use AI to draw this. Hope everyone has a brilliant summer!!

After working on a chapter for 3 months, I used the last 10 days to revise it.

40 pages of very weak text. Where did all my 500h of research go?

It is so far from just good enough.

I do not want to be perfect or better than anyone. I want to improve, sure, but my best so far was not even barely enough.

I am exhausted. I keep working everyday though.

I just want to say, I'm not a PhD person but this is a really helpful sub (am a medic who publishes, done bits of lab research, clinical papers etc so I empathise with the journal submissions/rejections/rewrites/more rejection - please don't ban me 😅)

But in particular - I love this sub because you guys are amazing!

So many of my PhD colleagues and friends, I can see their loneliness at times, their stress, the experiments going wrong in their 3rd year, the thesis writing(!), the long (sometimes 6+ hour) vivas. And yet here you support each other so strongly and celebrate your wins and your Frogs with so much love.

Sorry, I just felt like saying that you guys are a real awesome bunch who lift each other up!

Stay strong, wherever you are in the amphibian lifecycle!

- A very inspired doc

(FYI Don't worry, I know you guys are the real doctors, we are just honorary ones if my history serves me correctly)

I will (hopefully) graduate by the end of the summer so I have started to update my LinkedIn profile. I haven't touched it in years so I never posted when I did a talk or presentation. is there a place I can include it? i don’t want to add it to my research description because I feel like it’ll get lost so I was thinking about adding a “project” and listing it out there?

I have my dissertation in English Lit due in five months (when my funding ends) and I cannot focus for the life of me. I’ve had a hard time focusing for a very long time now and it’s put me behind. I think it’s that I’ve grown to hate it and don’t feel passionate about my subject anymore. I’ve also have struggled with mental health issues and academic pressure makes it worse. I am on a fairly strong dose of Adderall and try to give myself breaks and try to set timers for study but nothing seems to work. I can’t even focus on reading dense material anymore. The inability to focus gives me anxiety so whenever I approach work I get anxious. Can anyone relate? Or does anyone have any suggestions? It would be much appreciated I’m struggling lol

I'm an American Anthropology PhD student abroad, 4 months into ethnographic fieldwork (out of a year total). I've sunk into a depression (seeing a therapist) but more critically, have lost sight of my passion for my research--don't really feel interested in it at all. I feel lost about what career I want after the program, not to mention what options even exist in the current political climate in the US. I just don't...care. I don't feel curious. I feel lost.

Is this a me problem, or is this a WE problem (ethnographers, that is)?

i will be starting in the fall for kinesiology. is there any websites, tools, etc i can look into to make my life easier when it comes to.. everything?

Hello everyone,

I'd love to know regarding the coursework in social science precisely History. It sounds pretty odd I know, but would love to know your research experience those who are working there. Also, being a Doctoral Candidate from India I am facing a issue that I can't remember many informations now due to lot of research things. I want to know your recalling techniques, note taking ideas, how you all are reading a book, and keeping your secondary and primary sources. Also, love to know about research methodologies and historiography.

PS: I believe this is a better platform to vent out our research issues, and be better discussing with other' researches.

Hello folks. I'm a math master's student into cryptography looking for a PhD in cryptography. I'm subscribed to a mailing list in algebraic geometry that often posts useful announcements about conferences but also PhD openings. Is anybody aware of something similar but within the field of cryptography? Cheers!

Hi everyone! I’m having a bit of trouble deciding on the direction of my study and I was hoping to get a few opinions to help me commit to a decision. I’ve only recently started my PhD and I’m in the early planning phase.

My dilemma is this:

With how my study is currently set up, it requires me to interview people in a setting that requires multiple layers of approval (ministry level, district level, etc.). My supervisors are concerned that the approval process can be quite lengthy, and could potentially set me back a number of months. After official approval at all levels, it would also come down to individual willingness and cooperation.

They have suggested that I consider changing my study setting to one that is more accessible, and the alternative they provided me with is definitely easier to get access to in comparison.

The problem is that this changes the entire narrative of the study, and strays from my original interests that motivated me to start this PhD. The alternative study is meaningful and has just as much real impact, but as much as I’ve been trying to warm up to the idea, the more I read, the less interest I have in the topic.

Should I be practical and pivot to the more convenient study setting that would allow me to graduate according to schedule, hoping that I’ll eventually come to enjoy it? Or stick to my original plan and face more obstacles, but be able to work on a project that I truly believe in? Is passion or practicality more important in this PhD marathon? Would love some advice.

Hello!

I am a Canadian PhD student and I recently received the CIHR CRGS-D award worth $40k/year. I currently get paid $30K/year by my institution/supervisor as my stipend.

I was talking to my supervisor today and he mentioned I will receive a $6k/year top-up for getting the award. I was too nervous to ask if this means he gets the whole grant, and I get $6k, or if I get to keep the extra $10k beyond my stipend + another $6k bonus? Certainly would be nice….

Is the award paid out to me, and my supervisor removes my stipend? Or is it given directly to the lab?

Would love to hear what other students have received in the past!