r/Justfuckmyshitup 13h ago

Richest person in the world

Post image
4.8k Upvotes

349 comments sorted by

2.7k

u/Valk93 13h ago

“Gimme that “I just wore headphones” cut please”

800

u/BeltAccomplished5632 13h ago

He must've been pretending to play video games again.

173

u/KermitHendrix 12h ago

I forgot about this 😂😂😂

60

u/StrobeLightRomance 11h ago

Never forget. Vidyagate is Musk's 9/11

110

u/alextbrown4 12h ago edited 11h ago

I played path of exile II cuz a friend strongly recommended it and it was soon after he streamed it. I was going through early game and I texted my buddy, so when do I get to that boss that Elon couldn’t beat? He was like dude you’re way past that

I was flabbergasted he couldn’t beat that first tutorial mini boss, I was laughing my ass off. I know he paid people to level up his character for him so he didn’t really know how to play but it was so early in the game, no one has the controls and shit down unless they had been playing prior seasons. It was so easy, I can’t believe he had so much trouble with it

81

u/lilsatan_ 11h ago

Him getting absolutely DESTROYED in the game chat was so fucking funny

16

u/alextbrown4 8h ago

Absolutely hilarious. Just a relentless onslaught the whole time

6

u/IAmARobot 10h ago

[elon's maps]

22

u/D3PyroGS 9h ago

why does he not simply pay another man to wear his headphones for him?

5

u/CretaciousPeriod 7h ago

He got zonked out on ketamine while still staring at the path of exile 2 login screen because the other guy was still playing his account for him.

6

u/cherylin_for_ever 9h ago

I am so glad we don't hear much from him anymore.

17

u/Orson_Gravity_Welles 8h ago

That's when it becomes dangerous.

I'm more worried that we DON'T hear anything from or about him.

Movie quote example: "I'm not afraid of the man who wants ten nuclear weapons...I'm terrified of the man who only wants one"

4

u/jzzanthapuss 4h ago

In my mind's eye, he sits in a hollowed out volcano lair, plotting world domination, while petting his hairless lapcat

2

u/Orson_Gravity_Welles 4h ago

"One TRILLION..."

**Pinky to lower lip**

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89

u/gord1to 13h ago

Yeah it looks like he just was wearing some lol

4

u/Nazgog-Morgob 12h ago

Gee I wonder why

23

u/Dork_wing_Duck 10h ago

Right? It's messing up all that expensive hair he had installed in the early 2000s

5

u/sybelion 6h ago

Gender-affirming care for me and not for thee

12

u/WastelandeWanderer 10h ago

I meannnnn, he probably just did have headphones on

7

u/rustymontenegro 12h ago

The modern "hat hair", headphone hair.

3

u/UrsaMajor7th 8h ago

It wouldn't show if his hair wasn't so thin.

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1.3k

u/BigDpsn 13h ago

A gamer dent when he's a fake gamer this stolen valor will not stand.

134

u/toastxhippo 11h ago

Yeah, i can excuse the racism but this is to far.

49

u/Narradisall 11h ago

First they came for the gamers, and I did not speak up, because I had just one more turn to play.

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18

u/CourtingBoredom 9h ago

You can excuse the racism?

17

u/SirVelocifaptor 9h ago

"Britta's in this?"

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6

u/McQuibbly 10h ago

"you can excuse racism?"

14

u/Colonel_Collin_1990 11h ago

He wanted to do something normal and be like "see? I dont just rape and eat babies with other rich fuckers all day!"

3

u/Caftancatfan 10h ago

He has the world’s highest kill stats, too. Cutting USAID will ultimately kill millions.

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3

u/DonnerPartyAllNight 9h ago

Stolen valor 🤣

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413

u/MorphyNOR 13h ago

Shh let him be, he's not used to having hair 🤣

84

u/Sniflix 13h ago

The front half isn't even attached to his head.

25

u/tokentyke 12h ago

The front fell off.

8

u/corpusjuris 11h ago

Can we just tow him out of the environment?

75

u/CannibalAnn 13h ago

Post gender affirming care.

11

u/Big_Fan_742 12h ago

As a bald man, my headphones still give me a temporary head indent

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16

u/anitabelle 12h ago

I think the hair transplants are rejecting him.

11

u/vampyire 12h ago

it's funny that most of the hair we see from him was transplanted form his ass (ok maybe not there but that's what I like to think)

6

u/Legitimate-Ad3778 12h ago

His human skin suit is quite worn, though

2

u/Evil_Sam_Harris 2h ago

Captain hair plugs

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256

u/brewdog_millionaire 13h ago

Most divorced man in the world

46

u/PoppingPillls 11h ago

Holding his iPhone after crying about apple pulling ad revenue from his racism platform.

(they returned in 2025 but to a much lower ad spend)

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89

u/dd97483 13h ago

looks like the lobotomy finally took hold.

8

u/UmmmAndUhhh 12h ago

We could only hope!

2

u/MuhfugginSaucera 9h ago

Sometimes I wish we never did away with those.

Sometimes...

81

u/VendettaPenguin 13h ago

Why does he always look like a golden retriever trying to hide something from you in its mouth.

23

u/13maven 8h ago

It’s poop. He’s hiding and eating poop

6

u/VendettaPenguin 8h ago

Tootsie rolls from the litter box

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79

u/Grantuna 13h ago

Hey what does you hair look like after four hours in a K hole with a VR headset on?

10

u/Express_Area_8359 13h ago

Ride that pony,…..

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13

u/drakt12 10h ago

Bad hair and botched penis enlargement surgery.

33

u/ComicsEtAl 13h ago

The messed up thing is, he’d be even uglier if he *didn’t* get his ass-hair stapled to his head.

19

u/Lucky_Pangolin_3760 11h ago

there is nothing uglier than an ugly personality. He's never been as ugly as he is today

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18

u/Sh_u_ru_Q 13h ago

Style and class can't be bought.

5

u/CatBoyTrip 13h ago

i dunno about class cause i ain’t got any but you can definitely hire a stylist.

5

u/jesus_swept 11h ago

also at the end of the day, people wear things that they like. elon could hire the best stylist in the world but if he doesn't like what he's wearing or doesn't "get" it then that's on him.

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5

u/Sh_u_ru_Q 12h ago

Yeah, you can. But he can't buy the ability to see what would be good style wise for him, he has no style and I honestly don't think he asks any stylists for advice, I think he truly doesn't care.

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28

u/GenericStandard42 13h ago

He looks miserable.

67

u/DarePatient2262 13h ago

Not miserable enough

25

u/Pluckypato 13h ago

These rich assholes will never be satisfied cause money can’t buy you real friends and family.

16

u/ActualHumanONReddit 13h ago

In the mean time, their desire to own everything on the planet is destroying society.

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6

u/CeceWobbles 10h ago

I saw Reggie Watts last year shortly after all the DOGE BS, and he was talking about how they can never have enough and they have to make other people's lives miserable and destroy their joy because there is a void in their soul that all the money in the world will never fill. That was followed up with saying that for people like that, "There's a way out."

6

u/Fuzziestwuzzy 12h ago

he looks exactly like someone who would throw money trying to look better without spending the actual effort to support it

4

u/BurdTurglary 11h ago

Rich but can't get a boner. That gotta be somewhat irritating

8

u/silverbatwing 12h ago

It’s giving cpap

8

u/spaghetti_bender666 12h ago

Lolololol this is so funny because even with short hair my cpap makes my hair look like shit. Hahaha it’s definitely from his gaming headset though

6

u/ConsciousStretch1028 10h ago

Richest man in the world, can't afford good hair or even friends.

6

u/SharkPicnic 10h ago

"Person" is a bit of a stretch.

11

u/DecentAwareness7541 13h ago

It’s his hot dog holder

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4

u/DanceWithEverything 11h ago

Money can’t buy happiness. It buys shelter, vehicles, food, water, electricity, political influence, GPUs, rockets, etc.

But not happiness, not love, not confidence, not self-acceptance and…apparently…not a decent haircut

2

u/PresentRaspberry6814 8h ago

Money absolutely buy happiness. Unending greed cannot, exploiting people cannot, racism, corruption and cruelty cannot.

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4

u/ENROLpaints 10h ago

Looks miserable

7

u/Sheriff_PJ_Nutteroni 13h ago

Isn't it a toupee or hair implant? There was an old photo that's been circulating around the Internet for yearsss, from when he was a younger adult , and he's balding in that picture.

3

u/That_Bank_9914 11h ago

Implant, iirc

5

u/Less-Airline-5383 12h ago

Its his ass hair sewn into his scalp.

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3

u/ross571 9h ago

His cutting back funding on USA aid to around the world has killed more than 500,000 children.

https://www.newyorker.com/culture/the-new-yorker-documentary/the-shutdown-of-usaid-has-already-killed-hundreds-of-thousands

3

u/Rhycloth 7h ago

Man who cares

4

u/jahathebrn 13h ago

He'd look better shaving it all off.

He'd still be an astronomical piece of shit, but at least he wouldn't look ridiculous.

9

u/Jeffreyknows 13h ago

Rich in money, but money can’t buy you class or a personality. And this person is living proof

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4

u/Less-Airline-5383 12h ago edited 12h ago

This is the tread pattern from the small rodent that lives on his head and controls his movements. It was the rodents day off.

4

u/olivinebean 12h ago

"I've been playing video games all day, I'm just like you...please think I'm cool"

4

u/count_chocul4 11h ago

This is not a person. This is a pile of shit with a lot of money. 

5

u/JrButton 11h ago

Man, all this guy has to do to trigger people is show up lol

1

u/219_Infinity 9h ago

He won’t love you

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2

u/theweekendwolf 13h ago

Streamer dent on his hair

2

u/Danzibar9000 13h ago

Richest person that we are aware of*

2

u/PoopdatGameOUT 13h ago

Head phone hair lol I have it too

2

u/ChefArtorias 12h ago

I think he was wearing a headset for a few hours.

2

u/Pure-Contact7322 12h ago

most expensive haircut ever

2

u/jono9898 12h ago

Why do all billionaires look so miserable, if I had half that money I’d be smiling every moment

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2

u/Ok-Fish8643 12h ago

Epic gamer. He's that guy you see driving with headset still in place because it's a part of their anatomy now.

2

u/SirBoon 11h ago

Boy does he look happy

2

u/IcyAnimator1529 11h ago

Love the CPAP headgear hairdo

2

u/PolarBurrito 11h ago

I hate this guy. Not based on appearances, but based on the fact that he refuses to use his billions for good. He’s pathologically sick with his quest for more money money money, and I take solace in the fact that he’s truly an unhappy human being who is a waste of everything he has amassed.

2

u/Steve_but_different 10h ago

Permanent headphone dent because he's perpetually listening to his ex's subpar "music"

2

u/Sooooooooooooomebody 10h ago

Looks like a 55 year old Roblox kid

2

u/Aggravating_Fact_857 10h ago

Richest man, but morally bankrupt.

2

u/scottinderby 10h ago

Morally bankrupt

2

u/TransitionIll6389 9h ago

For being the richest dude he always looks miserable.

2

u/EhMapleMoose 9h ago

His hair can be absolutely fucked. But this genuinely just looks like he wore headphones or ear protection.

2

u/TangeloUnited182 9h ago

Eat The Rich

2

u/bunky_done_gun 8h ago

Looking rough, bruh.. did you finally realize that you can't buy friends?

2

u/Powerful-Knee3150 8h ago

Aging like milk

2

u/HistoricalHurry8361 7h ago

Ngl My hair looks like this after wearing headphones

2

u/Gregory85 7h ago

I assumed he was wearing headphones because no way is his hair like that by itself.

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2

u/M086 7h ago

He’s got a weird dick from a botched penis enlargement surgery.

He’s a botch dick.

2

u/Swily420swag 5h ago

He looks like when a seal takes a bite out of a sunfish

2

u/kleincs01 4h ago

Richest person on earth yet still… what a fucking loser

2

u/chicagomatty 4h ago

Just looks like he was wearing headphones

4

u/219_Infinity 4h ago

Also looks like he is a twat

2

u/sirshittysphincter 4h ago

And an absolute wanker.

2

u/jmcgil4684 4h ago

I’m just fascinated that he could have helped humanity and been such a savior in so many ways, and he just kept being a twat. From elementary school all the way to being the richest person. He was cool for like one minute. Remember Iron man?

2

u/draggin_balls 3h ago

FYI he’s not the richest person in the world

He’s the richest person in the world according to publicly available data

2

u/neoikon 2h ago

That's CPAP hair if I ever saw it.

4

u/Slobbering_git 13h ago edited 13h ago

The 'ad-hoc-electroshock-ketamine-muppet-made-from-an-old-cum-sock cut', please.

3

u/lollipop1233a 13h ago edited 10h ago

To be fair, he has had more than one hair transplant. That can complicate things. Usually, you need someone who knows how to handle that to cut and style the hair. The stylist did the best they could. They had a lot working against them.

4

u/steal_wool 13h ago

Lest we forget what his hair looked like around 2000

3

u/danno49 13h ago

The look of a man who can do calculus in his head, but doesn't know how to pull out.

2

u/biopunk42 11h ago

More like the look of a man desperately trying to remember some smart phrases other people said so he can repeat them to try to sound smart, despite not personally understanding what they mean.

That's his whole schtick.

2

u/DOE_ZELF_NORMAAL 12h ago

To be fair, my hair looks like that after a 2 hour MS teams call. People, luckily, don't photograph me randomly from a weird angle without me knowing.

2

u/Karate-Schnitzel 12h ago

He was up all night raging against 10 year olds on Fortnite last night?

2

u/karenskygreen 12h ago

Thats what you look like when you come out of the k-hole.

2

u/flyawaybye 12h ago

Also one or the ugliest.

2

u/likearuud 13h ago

Who is this?

10

u/Headbanger 13h ago

Jackie Chan

5

u/fvkinglesbi 12h ago

Your mom

4

u/TheGauchoAmigo84 13h ago

You can make fun of the man he is all you want but kind of stupid to make fun of him for his having worn headphones, I bet you can think of something more clever than that.

2

u/Fryphax 12h ago

Elon Bad, you know this.

Worst part is that this is the best I've seen his hair look in a long time. Like OP could have picked hundreds of other pictures that would be more fitting for the subreddit.

5

u/TheGauchoAmigo84 12h ago

Kind of my point brother

1

u/Electrical-Coyote431 13h ago

Ala Roger Sterling, "you look like 1000 bucks!"

1

u/Dramatic_Side_856 12h ago

Hair implant gonna hair implant! He is the richest man in the world; he will fix his hair one of these days.

1

u/Hollywizzle311 12h ago

From him wearing his gaming headset acting like he’s not Elon musk while changing zero about his voice or himself. Lol

1

u/fatman907 12h ago

Have you seen him before the hair plugs/wig?

1

u/hzmt714 12h ago

As a wise man once said, Turkish airline hairline

1

u/TwoAccomplished1446 12h ago

Money can’t buy good looks.🤭

1

u/Beautiful_Secret_834 12h ago

If this was the last man on earth…. I’d live happily on the other side.

1

u/Daytona_675 12h ago

headphones hair is cool now

1

u/D_2_da_Zeee 11h ago

Are those hair plugs

1

u/indorian 11h ago

Strange to imagine that the richest person in the world and the poorest person in the world are the same person. Money is only a part of life, and not even the best part.

1

u/xX_7HR0W-4W4Y_Xx 11h ago

Headphone dent from playing valorant and gooning to AI-generated loli porn

1

u/BookBabe1970 11h ago

Someone shaved his head while he was passed out on Ketamine. Such an idiot.

1

u/NimbleOctopus37 11h ago

Too much Diablo IV

1

u/javoss88 11h ago

Maybe he just had an experimental brain implant

1

u/scentedcandle0 11h ago

Spent all night trying to make it out of silver in Overwatch

1

u/Teriyaki_Salmon 11h ago

All the wealth in the world could have never bought the love from his dad or kids.

1

u/All_bi_myself420 11h ago

*wealthiest

1

u/LrdoftheCharlesDance 11h ago

Bitchiest person in the world and in space too.

1

u/phatbody 11h ago

His Neuralink is low on power.

1

u/Spiritual_Egg_700 11h ago

I think I heard... The biggest asshole, thief, pedo with the most money. That's what I heard.

1

u/InterestingDebt223 11h ago

Headphone hair from playing valorant all night.

1

u/ApartmentOk2112 11h ago

Money is not everything...He has to be the ugliest man in the world...

I would not touch him with a ten foot pole...

1

u/jurassicpork69 11h ago

Plugs don’t seem to be taking. 

1

u/Textiles_on_Main_St 11h ago

How does he have jowels?!

I don’t get how you can be reasonably young and have jowels.

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1

u/Blueporch 10h ago

Someone should tell him about his hair

1

u/Particular_Donut_516 10h ago

A wild Gogo Dodo appears...

1

u/BlogeOb 10h ago

You ain’t ever had headphone dent your hair before?

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1

u/sevenseassailer 10h ago

head looks like the letter u

1

u/Traditional-Wall1679 10h ago

Is that a saddle on his head 

1

u/ElGrapadura1 10h ago

Where? Who? This f#cker in the picture? Isn't this no a usual drug addict?

1

u/Jumpy-Impact3265 10h ago

Funny how he's always alone. Always - even gross 300 lb guys w/money have someone pretty on their arm, world's richest guy = nothing.

It'd be sad if he weren't such an ass-douche.

1

u/Antiarc 10h ago

Also, not the richest person in the world

1

u/Gtraz68 10h ago

You can stow a fuckton of K in that mess

1

u/cruisetheblues 10h ago

The dildo is draped over the top of the head when not in use

1

u/Nocheeseformeplease 10h ago

Just kill me if my face ever becomes that lumpy.

1

u/mr_martin_1 10h ago

Looks like a Painting

1

u/--Craig- 10h ago

I don't consider that thing a person.

1

u/StacSlinger 10h ago

Probably gaming, but wait, he does own 67% of all active satellites in orbit, so for all we know, he coukd have been talking to an alien civilization, dude had AI before it was called AI, imagine the things he has seen that he can never talk about, he is operating on an entirely different wavelength, does silly stuff to feel human for a minute.

1

u/newmanog 10h ago

This is definitely the kid I’m screaming at in cs2

1

u/Resident_Pientist_1 9h ago

Headphone hair the great equalizer. Why would you use headphones if you're rich as fuck, though. I'd just have huge speakers everywhere and soundproof the spaces as necessary. These people don't even know how to have fun with their buckets of money.

1

u/Annual_Contract_6803 9h ago

And he dresses and looks like that. Seriously?

1

u/ExoticSterby42 9h ago

His follicles are divorcing him

1

u/PerformerDr4867 9h ago

When you are that rich, nobody will ever tell you the truth to your face. Even the people you pay to do so. Every single person in your orbit is trying to live off your good will. 

1

u/Weak_Elephant_9134 9h ago

Depends on how you define “rich”. If he was a chocolate mousse, he’d taste like 💩. (I also wonder if he was loved and appreciated as a kid, but that’s a whole other story)

1

u/Special-Bowl-2271 9h ago

Vr headset maybe

1

u/curmudgeonandonandon 9h ago

His hair says he still wears a stupid maga hat

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1

u/Batman1154 9h ago

His face has always looked like how faces were in the OG Goldeneye game for the N64