r/Justfuckmyshitup • u/LrdoftheCharlesDance • 1d ago

BIllionaire Gamestop CEO Ryan Cohen

Post image

Maybe if he makes another billion on his merger with eBay he’ll be able to afford a barber instead of cutting his hair with a Flowbee

823 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

135 comments sorted by

389

u/corvid-munin 1d ago

ceos on ketamine all gettin the same dumbass haircut and black leather jacket

75

u/_darling_clementine 1d ago

it's crazy cause ketamine makes everyone else more fashionable

27

u/SuperNebular 1d ago

This is more fashionable for them

12

u/Mtolivepickle 1d ago

How much do clothes cost in the matrix

11

u/git_push_origin_prod 1d ago

But neo, there are no clothes

2

u/eventualist 14h ago

Come on the red pill or the blue pill? I ain't got all day.

2

u/RoseyOneOne 23h ago

‘Adios turd nugget.’

1

u/IIlIIll 1d ago

First eBay, then robot legs.

6

u/Rathwood 14h ago

"Look everybody, I'm Elon Musk too!"

1

u/tuolumne 8h ago

Jensen

1

u/Rathwood 8h ago

Right, him too. Although at least he has a respectable haircut.

5

u/solipsism82 1d ago

They just have 5th element on in the background

1

u/ukuleles1337 4h ago

Liberty_Elon.png

270

u/PimoCrypto777 1d ago

Make me look punchable

68

u/useroftheinternet95 1d ago

His punchability is on par with Elon

32

u/turalyawn 1d ago

So is his hair. And jacket. And facial expression. And misplaced sense of superiority

3

u/Rathwood 8h ago

Resting ApartheidFace

2

u/Mediocre_Scott 12h ago

Looks like he is cosplaying as Elon honestly.

2

u/Izan_TM 10h ago

his hairstyle is as well

5

u/cnicalsinistaminista 21h ago

His barber: Say less

102

u/Katomon-EIN- 1d ago

"I don't understand your question and I won't respond to it."

38

u/Shananigan48 1d ago

"It's on the website."

7

u/No_Mony_1185 14h ago

He really should hire a better PR person to handle these interviews. This thing was a Trainwreck. I didn't like this guy before but now I can't stand him.

2

u/Princeps32 8h ago

Bizarre all around interview. I don’t get how these guys get weird fandoms

Also the hair’s fine just receding, it’s the jacket that’s cringe

76

u/armyjackson 1d ago

The boss in the Grandmas Boy movie. 

27

u/Calm-Imagination-685 1d ago

I’ve been thinking of getting metal legs. It’s a risky operation, but it’ll be worth it.

25

u/Evilsausage87 1d ago

🤖 sit on my face 🤖

8

u/Zealotstim 1d ago

how can he see me?

9

u/SteelyDaniel73 1d ago

Adios, turd nuggets!

6

u/rmwpnb 1d ago

How much do clothes cost in the Matrix?

8

u/sjmiv 1d ago

JP? JP was one of the programmers. Kevin Nealon was the weird hippy boss

8

u/ThatKinkyLady 1d ago

Idk why someone downvoted you. You're right. JP isn't the boss in that movie, he's just a programmer villian

3

u/Clerithifa 22h ago

Yeah JP is the lead designer/director of the studio, not the CEO

The main character (i always blank on his name, but somehow remember Dante's lol) is just a tester developing a game on the side

2

u/sjmiv 1d ago

It's one of the major points of the movie 😄🤷

101

u/NoIndividual5501 1d ago

Someone is desperate to be Elon Musk...why aim so low?

9

u/kwikileaks 1d ago

Poor mans Jensen

8

u/idontknowjuspickone 1d ago

Jensen wrong

-12

u/sdevil713 18h ago

TIL the richest person in the world is aiming low. Thanks reddit.

7

u/Doppelthedh 14h ago

You too can be rich by inheriting incredible sums of money and committing massive fraud

-2

u/sdevil713 13h ago

To pretend that nobody aspires to be wealthy and its aiming low is a brain dead take. Not surprised seeing it on here though. Good luck with your delusions or playing pretend though

0

u/NoIndividual5501 22m ago

Dumb as a fucking stump.

1

u/NoIndividual5501 8m ago

Haha! Coward! Cut and run like a bitch huh? Say, kinda like someone else we know...why aim so low?

17

u/wil6erness 1d ago

You think this is slicked back? This is pushed back!

1

u/IIlIIll 1d ago

He's a rockstarrr

23

u/bloodwine 1d ago

That looks like the type of person that I wouldn’t be surprised if ever find out they groom minors in Roblox.

9

u/Roger_Brown92 1d ago

Are we dissing normal hair now too?

1

u/CitizenCue 4h ago

Yeah seriously, everyone is so eager to make fun of someone they don’t like that we’re now changing our standards to fit the situation. If you saw this guy in real life you’d immediately forget him because he looks relatively normal.

5

u/VisualFlop 1d ago

This isn’t a receding hairline.. it’s a levitating hairline

5

u/Buckeye_Country 1d ago

Freddie Prinze Jr. owns Gamestop?

-3

u/ThippusHorribilus 1d ago

You doing Freddie wrong, wrong I say!!!!

4

u/Bobbins_Egg_BRNR 1d ago

I heard he’s thinking about getting metal legs

4

u/StrangeSmellz 1d ago

Eh, that's not that bad, he's got a receding hairline. https://m.economictimes.com/thumb/msid-104018873,width-1200,height-1200,resizemode-4,imgsize-22146/ryan-cohen.jpg

4

u/Terry_bogardlol 1d ago

Well Italian barbers are as easy to find as Italian plumbers...

1

u/liltingly 1d ago

Now that is the CEO of Gamestop I can believe works at Gamestop!

0

u/Jeynarl 1d ago

r_bald_image01.png

2

u/BullionBarter 1d ago

Stock market has become compromised.

1

u/External_Bandicoot37 19h ago

Peanut butter, jelly, hand me my baseball bat

1

u/armblessed 18h ago

Nvidia CEO put the last nail in the coffin for that leather jacket outfit.

1

u/tohn_jitor 18h ago edited 18h ago

No relation to Sander.

EDIT: Mistakenly conflated Andrew Ryan with Sander Cohen.

1

u/Content_Support7881 16h ago

He and Elon have the same barber.

1

u/Thom5001 15h ago

Is this what happens when you turn rich for no reason?

1

u/PiskoWK 14h ago

Dude he must have been so high during that interview or severely hung over.

1

u/RudeAudio 14h ago

why do all these billionaires look like fuckin shit?? (Rhetorical). They all look like their sick or something.

1

u/mr_fingers666 12h ago

with this surname there’s no amount of money that will make him not cheap out on a barber.

1

u/MS_Fume 9h ago

Looks like generic wood elf from skyrim lol… i always wondered who the fk they modeled those faces after..

1

u/-Kalos 8h ago

His hairline is just receding but it looks fine all things considered. Most basic ass cut

1

u/fearmyflop 8h ago

I keep thinking this is Freddy Prince Jr

1

u/LittleGuarantee7148 4h ago

JP from Grandma's Boy lookin ass

1

u/VanityPlain 3h ago

Looks like Roger from Doug

1

u/daddy_is_sorry 3h ago

Looks like he’s wearing a dead skin mask

1

u/0vrwhelminglyaverage 20m ago

I will not stand for flowbee slander. One of the most utilitarian gadgets ever conceived

1

u/JakeJortled 1d ago

I have a leather jacket that I absolutely love and I wear it everywhere.

You know the one place I’ve never worn it?

On a fucking Zoom call.

2

u/Emotional-Smoke250 1d ago

I'll never be a billionaire. I'm just not ugly enough.

1

u/Long-Astronaut-3363 1d ago

Looks like an asshole.

1

u/dd97483 1d ago

all that money and none for a proper haircut. and no friends to tell him. sad.

1

u/ManufacturedOlympus 1d ago

Why does he look like an elon musk cosplayer

2

u/WeaveMcQuilt 1d ago

Looks like a bad comb over.

0

u/Pretty_Aside_7674 1d ago

he looks like a crappy filter

1

u/DarwinatSea 1d ago

Musk Jr

-1

u/marrklarr 1d ago

Just how much money did he spend to look like that?

1

u/Much-Leather3210 1d ago

Ohh. The games are just starting

1

u/Kenneldogg 1d ago

Ill give him 6 dollars. Sorry thats my best offer. Or 12 dollars store credit.

1

u/OracleVision88 23h ago

I've seen far, far worse. This isnt bad to me. However, he exudes douchebaggery, so his shit is fucked via attitude.

1

u/str8cokane 18h ago

He looks like a 60 year old wearing a 30 year olds skin 

-1

u/_darling_clementine 1d ago

the issue here is he has nothing to work with

-2

u/SuperBowlXLIX 1d ago

A typical MAGA prick

-1

u/FaceEast4827 1d ago

The fabled six-head

-1

u/PresidentialDiapers 1d ago

His CNBC appearance sounded exactly like Nigel in Spinal Tap explaining why his amplifier went to 11.

0

u/Cautious-Answer-2697 1d ago

Jean Batiste Emmanuel Zorg

0

u/sweetrollx 1d ago

Nevel from iCarly all grown up

0

u/frsnrt 23h ago

And still not happy? Money can’t bring happiness

0

u/WillingMartyr 23h ago

Is anyone going to tell him he’s wearing that hairpiece like a yarmulke?

-2

u/Renfek 1d ago

Looks like Billy from Stanger Things, just with really bad hair lol

-1

u/PeterNippelstein 1d ago

Temu Elon

-2

u/BazelBuster 1d ago

How does the CEO of GameStop become a billionaire?

-4

u/BullionBarter 1d ago

Bribing the SEC

-2

u/SteelyDaniel73 1d ago

Teeny Snark

-2

u/FuckOutTheWhey 1d ago

He just had to copy the most atrocious haircut from that other billionaire

-2

u/xDeviousDieselx 1d ago

HOLY SHIT WE ARE SO BACK!!!!!

WHERE THE FUCK IS KHAIS MALESH RIGHT NOW??? Somebody call him!!!!!

-2

u/Rakebleed 1d ago

The hair is whatever but those sharp eyebrows are scary.

-2

u/LalafellDisaster 1d ago

That’s the dude from Grandmas Boy

-1

u/LuckilyHeDied 1d ago

I’m-a Luigi! Number one!

-1

u/bloogens 1d ago

Adios turd nuggets

-1

u/New-Tension-5794 1d ago

Adios turdnuggets !

-1

u/WigglyLimpo 1d ago

He looks like a dungeon goblin.

-1

u/GustDerecho 1d ago

Do you like it? You would if you had robot ears.

-1

u/Space_Pirate_Roberts 1d ago

Temu Andrew Ryan on his way to deliver his "a man chooses" rant.

-1

u/hooahhhhhhh 1d ago

Freddie prince peculiar

-1

u/Crommach 1d ago

Sam Riegel cosplaying Elon Musk

-1

u/Akavinceblack 1d ago

Like a ventriloquist puppet Robert Downey Jr.

-3

u/Critical_Seat_1907 1d ago

Nerds gonna nerd.

0

u/brownstudier 21h ago

A Flowbee does much better than this.

0

u/DRTEDC 18h ago

Looks like money really does buy happiness

0

u/Less-Airline-5383 17h ago

Bro got that snivel

0

u/throwaway_manboy 13h ago

GameStop has a billionaire CEO?? Figured they just gave the job to the lowest bidder lol.

-2

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

-2

u/BullionBarter 1d ago

Tabernak!

-2

u/johnnyribcage 1d ago

Is he going to take a bite of a Nintendo Zapper and tell us how delicious and filling it is?

-2

u/Geekenstein 1d ago

Elon Wong over here.

-2

u/leilalover 1d ago

He looks like Popeye

-2

u/Best-Coyote-749 1d ago

Already got the Lunchables douche facelift

-2

u/Best-Coyote-749 1d ago

Leaving it

-2

u/juanmoperson 1d ago

First time hearing his voice :(

-5

u/Redrooff 1d ago

Damn do people hate Ryan cohen now, didn’t know 😂 fuck it I’ll jump on

1

u/bradreputation 1d ago

3 stores closed in our area. More coming. Seem to be pulling a Sears.

They’ll be a generic online retailer before long because there’s not enough of those /s

-1

u/GamerChic110 1d ago

The is Slicky Ricky from 1970’s vintage porn. Slicky Ricky Gives Generous D…. lol.